It feels as if he was dying, slowlly and painfully. The air....is so hard to make it run on the veins, to make it pass by the mouth. His legs look like somebody elses legs, as if he was watching himself running through the halls of a hospital.

"Son!", the echo of a familiar voice makes him stop. Its mister Park. "Over here", the hand that he extends to him is like a life savior, like a boat in the middle of the see. He is shaking and mister Parks eyes grow wider when he gets closer. "Junsu is talking to the doctor now".

Closer to the two figures talking he can see his father in law, he is whipping the tears from his cheecks when he sees them. "Tao", he says and pulls him into a tight hug. Zitao wants to burst in tears but this is not the moment.

"I was explaining to mister Kim that this is a confusing time for him, so its better if you try to keep your emotions in check. If you think you cant, please refrain from entering, so take a moment and think about it. Ok?", they noded but whats there to think about?

----------------------

So Junsu goes first and Kyungsoos "Daddy" almost breaks his soul into a million peaces but he holds on and hugs, holds his boy close to his chest. Kyungsoos body feels kind of cold against his neck. They exchange short words, just like the doctor asked. Then Tao comes in. The way Kyungsoo tilts his head to the side when he sees him is endearing but worrying. He glances at his father.

"Helllo", Zitao says willing his voice to not tremble. "How do you feel?"

"I feel fine. Thank you", he sounds distant. "Are you a doctor?". Zitao snaps his head to Junsu who tenses. Kyungsoo is waiting for an answer. "N..no Im...Im a friend of yours", Kyungsoo tilts his head again. "Mmy name is Zitao", he says carefully. The pacinet lowers his head and starts to toy with the helm of his sheets.

"There...there is a boy at my school thats call the same. Are you his father?", Junsu can see that Tao is this close to break and decides to step up.

"No sweetheart. You are confuse right now, Zitao is a long time friend of the family. He will come back later ok?", he says looking at Tao."When you are more rested".

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As he comes out of the room there are a million thoughts in his head. Yes he has been told that if Kyungsoo were to wake up there could be problems, maybe physicall, maybe cognitive, maybe neurologicall. Yes, he knows, he had known for a while. So? One thing is to hear it, to understand every word, another is to live it. Another one is to be here in this hospital for the nth time, wanting that everything gets better, wishing that nothing gets harder, praying that the pain stops, and getting this as an answer. To know that no, things wont go back to be normal, to know that the road is still going up, to feel the weight of the wait, the weight of the smiles of his girls, the weight of his espectations and the weight of the promise that he made to Kyungsoo, to never leave him, to not leave him again. 

How come life can be so unfair is like it never ends, is always half good news, is always staying in the waiting room. He gets it, he heasnt been the best person he could be, the best man that somebody can find, but isnt this to ing much. Now Kyungsoo doesnt remember? When is Kyungsoo gonna get better now? Now, what the is now,does he moves on, does he stays the same?

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"He seems to be confuse in time. At the moment we put him to sleep, his brain needs to recover from the shock..."

"He doesnt remember the babies right?", Tao asked abruptly.

"I didnt ask him about that. But he does believe that he is 16 years old, so I doubt...he remembers that. He...he couldnt recognize himself in the mirror and became really upset", upset is what Tao was.

"And you think that once he wakes up again his brain would be...fix?"

"We dont ...really know, but since he woke up is a matter of monitoring his physica health and try to explain to him what is his present life like", Tao sighed.

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"I think Im gonna leave, go for the girls or something", he annouced.

"Are you ok?", mister Park asked.

"Yeah, I just need a moment with my kids, I wanna tell them", he said and left.

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So what if he was angry? Doesnt he has the right to? So afew days ago he rejected the person thats been helping him to rise his kids, thats one thing. Afew days ago his father in law was telling him to let it go. Now Kyungsoo wakes up and is not like he was delusional and thinking that people comeback from comas like it was somes days on vacation, on the spa. No, but this?

All this time he has been holding back, holding up. Trying to stay, to keep standing. He has pushed his need to give up so many times, so much inside. He doesnt know why now he feels like he is so ready to give up.