Confussion was the name of the feeling. Pregnant? His eyes were hurting so much because of the tears and the stress.

"Im sorry maybe I shouldnt have told you", his father was also crying.

Kyungsoo was not pregnant anymore, according to the doctors the baby was already dead for some time when his body, helped by the attack, decided to dispose of it. It was only some days old. He never knew, he thought it was a flu, he never took better care of himself. He was carrying so much with him, he tought he could handle it. And now he feels like a killer....he failed to take care of his baby.

But then again what kind of life they would have? He cant tell Zitao anything, back then and not now. His father asked him who was the father. He asked if he had a boyfriend or if he got pregnant in another way, one those ways that a parent never wants to know.

He started to see a therapist, he really needs to start getting things out of his chest, heart, mind, many places. He is not going to school and the school is not saying anything because they couldve been sue and they werent so they kept their mouths shut.

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Kyungsoo already expressed that he would want to go back to school, to that school, over the week (two and a half) many other things happed: Baekhyun and Chanyeol went to visit him at his house, so did Jongdae and Yixing, it seemed that they wanted to listen to Kyungsoos version of the things. They thought everything went out of hands. Even though their relationship developed to some kind of a friendship, Kyungsoo didnt tell them about the baby or the pregnancy.

The only person outside the family that knows is Yifan, he has been consoling his boyfriend all along and helping Kyungsoo with his home work and what not. Also Yifan has been doing some math on his own and he has a doubt, a really big one, a really annoying one. The thing is that he, like, counted the days, the days between Zitaos mistery lost of his ity and the "age" of the baby and yes....it doesnt take a genius to put two and two together. But he cant ask, not now, he doesnt know what would it do, whats the point on telling Zitao that he couldve been a father and now...why have two children  going through misery.

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The situation is not good, the family is worry and expectating, everybody wants this time to pass. Kyungsoo is not well, Junsu wonders if he did good by telling him, he thinks not when he hears his baby son cry himself to sleep. He didnt tell him who the father was nor how he got pregnant. It hurts to know that your own son, even in his worst time doesnt trust you.

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Kyungsoo still checks Zitaos Facebook and a little part of him still dreams of him. Sometimes he wonders if he ever asked abut him, sometimes he waits a little, he wishes that one given afternoon Zitao would come to visit, that would make his day (some days). Other days he doenst want to see him anymore, doesnt want to remember, doesnt want to feel.

He sees the boys latest pictures, that childish smile, those big eyes, the thin lips. How would the baby be? Would he or she have those eyes? Would Zitao smile at the baby like that, at him?

When you are sixteen years old you are not suposse to solve anything, you are not suposse to think of the meaning of life. The future should only be a university, the prom, the game of the weekend, the next exam. But Kyungsoo was never a regular boy, at any age. When his mother left he had to handle the rejection and make himself at home with out the person that was suposse to be his home, he had to become the son of another parent. Back then he refused to be "poor orphan boy", he was gonna be more than that. When he entered high school he thought he was there, and if not almost there, close to the best. But now what? Those things, the things that he wanted before make no sense now: a top university to become a good professional, study to achive perfection, to take care of his "networking" to get in the good side of the teachers and the principal. How can that have any importance now? And how did it became so important before? How could Kyungsoo have so little idea of what life was...

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It was nice to have all the attention to himself, his fathers were very much all over him and he was content, he could even sleep with them if he felt like it. Now, other times it was a little overwhalming. Like tonight, his parents had a dinner with some clients and they left Joonmyeon and Yifan to watch over him, his brother is in the shower.

"Hey Kyung, do you want juice?", Yifan offers to a crst fallen Kyungsoo.

"Sure"

"Kyung?", it sound cautious.

"Mhm?"

"You know Ive been thinking and...well, I ....Zitao is still worry about the night of his party. He still doesnt remember very well, but he sais sometimes he has dreams and...", why is he telling him this? He sighs. "I...I just wanted you to know that, well, I know...and I havent tell Joon, I wont tell anybody. But I want you to know that if you need to talk you can freely count on me and...", when he turns around Kyungsoo is bawlling on the kitchen counter. Yifan panicks and goes to hug him, tight, with long arms and strong hands. Kyngsoo sobs like a little baby and chokes on his own tears. His hyung doesnt know how to comfort him. Is the first time he cries in front of someone after leaving the hospital. "Im sorry Kyung, Im so sorry".

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NOTE: xiuhan on their way