Deer Luhan

You got home from the airport at three in the morning. You immediately crashed on top of your blanket and fall into a deep sleep. The moment you wake up, you saw that your father had left, you quickly took a shower and put on your uniform. You braided your hair again and wore your glasses. You brushed your uniform as you remembered what happened yesterday.

"Goodbye, Lay."

You sighed, "Come on Eun Gi, focus on studying! You can do it!" You grabbed your bag and ran outside. But you stopped your steps as soon as you saw Luhan leaning against the cold brick wall of your house. He looked calm by the way he drummed his fingers on the wall. "What are you doing?" You asked.

"Oh, you're finally out." He smiled, "Good morning."

"Yeah yeah, what are you doing here? How did you know that I live here anyway?"

"I did my research." Luhan smiled proudly.

"I'm going then." You shrugged and walked away.

Luhan nodded, "Ah right, you do know that Lay's going on a business trip right?"

"Yes," You stopped your steps, "Why?"

"Oh, nothing nothing." Luhan looked weird by the way he spoke, then he walked in front of you, gradually leaving you behind.

What's with him so early in the morning? You shrugged as you walked behind him.

English was the first session today, you grabbed your books and dictionary from your locker as you hugged them tight while walking towards Mr. Park's class.

"Good morning everyone, today's lesson is about poetry. Anybody has any clue about poems?" Mr. Park greeted in English.

No one raised their hands, neither one of them seemed to care about poetry. "Umm, Luhan? What do you know about poetry?"

"Oh? Umm..." There was a long pause, "It consists of words?" The class broke into laughter as they heard his answer.

"Very well, anything you'd like to add Ms. Seo?" He pointed at you.

"Poetry comes from the Greek poiesis, which meant making in English. Poetry is a form of ofliterary art which uses rhythmic qualities of language." You answered.

"Geek." You heard someone from the back, scowling at you.

"Very good Ms. Seo," Mr. Park said, "Today, I'll pair all of you for a poetry project. It will be submitted in two days so I suggest you work on this as fast as you can."

"Okay, let's see." Mr. Park grabbed the absence list and read out the names.

"Park So Ra and Zhang Yixing."

Oh great.. You frowned.

"Sir, Lay isn't here right now, is it alright if I'm partnered with Luhan?" So Ra blinked those pretty-fake-eyelashes of her.

"No you may not. I suggest you work on both of your projects alone." Mr. Park said. Inside, you were screaming in victory as you smirked at her, "No complains, think of it as extra credit." Mr. Park continued.

"But-" So Ra opened but Mr. Park cuts her off,

"Luhan and Seo Eun Gi."

What? You widened your eyes.

You glanced to Luhan as he greeted you back with that cute and not-y-at-all smirk. "Oh, great... Thanks for the miracle." You grumbled.

"Thank you for the sarcasm, I admire that." Luhan smiled as he took a seat right next to yours.

You raised an eyebrow, "What do you want?"

"Mr. Park asked us to switch out sitting positions so that we're next to our partners. Anyway, we got the "love and abandonment" theme for this poetry." Luhan said, "Want to work on this after school? I could come to your house if you don't mind."

You jolted awake, "No no no! I'll do it on my own tonight, if you need any help just ask me tomorrow. We don't have to go to each other houses for this project. Especially not the house." Your tone was cold and harsh.

"Geez, it was just an idea, no need to get all sensitive about your house just because Lay's gone and Nichkhun had to go on a field trip." Luhan rolled his eyes.

"What? I'm not all sensitive that Lay's gone. I don't even care," You rolled your eyes, "And I don't even know that he's going on a field trip." You didn't want to mention Nichkhun's name, you just don't know why.

"Liar." Luhan spat, "I saw you last night hugging Lay like no other at the airport okay? I was also surprised to see- I was surprised you could even hug a guy. I mean you're.. You know, you're you." He pointed at you.

He saw me? I don't even know that he was there last night. I thought Lay doesn't have any company there. You thought.

You groaned, not wanting to debate with him, "Just do your poem and I'll do mine."

You began to scribble some notes on your paper,

Have You Ever Really Cared?*

What you do makes me cry,
But I honestly can’t deny

That in my heart I truly love you
You’ll always be my only dad.

You haven’t quite been the father I’ve needed
And you haven’t always told me what I want to hear

I don’t think you understand,
That what you’ve done has torn me apart.

I cannot turn to you for what I need,
I don’t know if you’d ever give it to me.

I just want to know,
Have you ever really cared?

You thought of your dad when you wrote that. Unconsciously, a tear fell from your eye as you wiped it with your hand. Your hands trembled as your heart sank. Aissh why did I get this abandonment for the theme?! Stupid theme. Stupid choice. Stupid Luhan.

You glanced at Luhan's desk to know what he wrote, but his hand was blocking the lower part of his poem. Then you realized, it wasn't the theme he was asked to make.

Work hard yet be humble,
share all that you have

Maybe the most important of many lessons,

that I have learned from my friend.

Protect and honor your family,
no matter what the cost

A battle for your family
is a battle that can't be lost.

"What is that? You're supposed to make the love-themed poem while I'm doing the abandonment poem right?" You said, looking at him.

"Yes, but I think this is much more special than the poem that we're supposed to write." He answered.

"What do you mean?"

"You should better look at all of the poem, read it carefully okay?" Luhan winked as he handed you his book.

You read it carefully and somehow.... It touched you.

Work hard yet be humble,
share all that you have

Maybe the most important of many lessons,
that I have learned from my friend.

Protect and honor your family,
no matter what the cost

A battle for your family
is a battle that cant be lost.

Take a stand for things that matter,
and always keep your head held up high.

Embrace those things close to your heart,
and yes it's okay to cry.

These lessons in life can not be taught,
they must be observed.

Happy birthday Eun Gi, you have taught me a lot,
We've just met but thank you for what I have learned.

"You," There was a long pause, you looked at him in his eyes and continued, "How did you-"

"Know?" He chuckled as he cut you off, "Lay told me." You could see sincerity and a glimpse of pity for you. "He told me everything, about you, your life, your father and your mother."

There was a moment of silence, "He told me to take care of you in these two months. And he said that if everything at home is rough, you could always rely on both of us." Luhan gave a wry smile.

You tensed a bit as you whispered, "Thank you."

"You don't need to-" Luhan said but you cut him off, "Thank you, but I don't need to rely on you. Like Lay said, he wanted to be my knight in shining armor, but I don't need it anymore, cause I'm already wearing a shining armor myself." You sighed as you forced a smile.

"I know you're already wearing one, so I don't think I want to be the knight in shining armor." Luhan said proudly, "I want to be Prince Charming. Cause the knight never gets the girls." He teased as he poked your sides.

It actually made your day better, "But this Prince Charming will never get the girl." You teased back as Luhan laughed.

"Anyway, happy birthday Eun Gi." Luhan smiled, "I wish this princess all the best for you and the king." He teased.

"Thank you my dear Prince Charming." You laughed as Luhan joined you.

Without noticing, you grew closer and closer to Luhan that day since you had most of your classes with him. He's nice and funny. He could even melt that icy cold wall of yours sometimes.

"What are you doing?" You asked as Luhan walked behind you on the way to your home.

"Walking." He answered with a cute wink.

"I know that, but why are you following me?"

"I'm not following you, I'm just walking."

You stopped your steps, "This way? It's the way to my house."

"Yeah, my house is just by the corner." He lied as he smiled.

"Uh-huh, that's funny cause from what I know, that road leads to a dead end," You pointed at the road across from it, "And that's the way to my house."

"HAHAHAHAHA! I'm just messing with you, I know that it's a dead end, I just wanted to know if you remembered it or not." He faked a laugh, "Let's go."

You just stood there, watching the playful Luhan walked towards your house. "What are you doing? Not coming?" Luhan asked.

"Exactly what are you doing? It's my birthday and you have to answer me." You teased.

"Ugh, fine fine. I thought that we could do our English poem together."

"But I said no coming in each other's houses." You snapped.

"But I already told you that I knew your life story, so you don't have to hide it from me." Luhan begged.

"Please, for once just-" You chose your words carefully, afraid of hurting his feelings, "Just go home okay? It's getting late and your parents will get mad at you if you don't." You sighed, "I'll work on this tonight, I'll show it to you tomorrow okay? I'm tired and I need to go home." You said as you wiggled your English paper in front of your face.

"Okay fine." Luhan admit defeat, "See you tomorrow then." Luhan smiled as he left you there.

"Bye Luhan." You smiled back.

As soon as you got home, you heard a loud crashing sound. You quickly ran into your house and you saw your father throwing his liquor bottle to the wall. Everything inside was in a mess, it was horrible. Technically, it was horrifiying.

"Dad?! What are you doing?" You reached out to him, trying to stop him.

He looked drunk and the look in his eyes scared you, "Hey , a package from China came this morning. It's loaded with money. Did you always keep those money alone without me knowing? Oh?!" He grabbed your hair as he pushed you down.

"What? What package?" You stuttered.

"Don't act dumb. That boyfriend of yours sent it to you saying that it's your birthday and he didn't have a chance to buy you any gift so instead he gave you some money." He said in his rough and drunken tone, "What exactly did he look at you? Oh? Did you perhaps sleep with him for that money?"

"Your mother did it too once I think. What did I see in her anyway?" He smiled as he drank his liquor, "You know, she's as y as you are, I regret having her as a wife. She's such a back then."

That's it. He crossed the line this time. You screamed in your head.

You grabbed the shattered pieces of his liquor from the floor as you threw it at him. You stood up and screamed, "DON'T YOU EVER CALL MY MOM LIKE THAT! DON'T YOU DARE TO EVEN CALL HER YOUR WIFE! THE ONE BEING THE IS YOU! YOU WENT AROUND WITH DIFFERENT GIRLS EVERYDAY." You shrieked as tears kept flowing from your eye.

"And Lay, he's not my boyfriend. But he's the only one who cares about me and he's the only one who could make my day better. Do you even care about me? Do you even look at your daughter? No. You would kick me, punch and hit me, you would beat me up whenever you get the chance. I REGRET HAVING YOU AS MY FATHER!" You shrieked.

"Why this little wretch!" He threw his liquor bottle at you.

You fell to the floor as you looked to the right. Your eyes widened as you saw a head popping out from the front door you forgot to close.

"Go away! Go!" You mouthed to him.

His eyes locked with yours as he froze there.

"Go! Quickly!" You mouthed at him again.

"Go Luhan! Get away from here!" Your voice was as silent as a whisper.

*Have You Ever Really Cared poem by Cassey Harrington