"You're drunk."

"No I'm not."

"You're speaking Kandarin."

Kris stared at Suho with amused eyes as he shook his head. He reached out to grab another wine cooler but stopped when Luhan took it from him. Suho tried to stifle his laughter as he stared at the 2 empty bottles that were in front of Kris.

"How can you even get drunk with those?" Suho giggled, "My dog could do better than you."

"Listen here you little..." Kris burped, "It's not about the destination, it's about the journey."

"That must have been a short journey," Luhan slurred, "And at least you know who's the drunk here."

"I wouldn't be talking hyung," Suho chuckled, "How many shots of soju have you taken?"

Luhan stared down at his hands as he tried to count. He kept shaking his head as he lost track of his counting. Suho smirked when Luhan simply shrugged as he took his nth shot of soju.

"Who cares?" Luhan smiled, "I'm fine."

"What about you?" Kris burped again, "Why haven't you been drinking?"

"I'll tell you a secret," Suho leaned in as they turned to look at him with interest, "I'm always drunk."

"Liar!"

"Look at this ."

Suho couldn't control his laughter as Kris tried to open another bottle of his wine cooler. Luhan on the other hand kept the empty bottles of soju as he tried to find one that had a decent amount. They looked up in surprise when an ahjumma walked towards them with three small bottles of medicine.

"Just in case you can't wake up in the morning," She smiled, "I'm surprised you haven't fallen asleep on me."

"Aigoo Ahjumma," Luhan gave her a smirk, "We still have something in us."

"We're real men," Kris agreed, "Real men can handle their liquor."

"Thank you Ahjumma," Suho smiled, "We'll leave soon enough."

"No problem. Anything for handsome men like you."

They waved goodbye to the ahjumma before going back to their drinks. The three friends huddled closer as they shivered from the wind. Instead of going to a nice bar or club, they preferred to eat outside like normal people. One glance and you could tell they had money.

"I'd totally tap that," Luhan bit his lip as he stared after her, "Look at that ."

"Okay," Suho took away his bottles, "Now we know who the real drunk is."

"What!?"

"Yah, Kim Joonmyun," Kris argued, "If she ain't married that doesn't mean she's not available."

"Just keep your to yourselves and save it for when you get home."

Luhan gave Kris a wink and they high fived when Suho stood up to pay. Without a word, they stood up and walked over to the ahjumma who was waiting. Luhan slipped his arm around her before kissing her lightly on the lips. Suho and Kris dragged him away as he yelled out loud.

"Ahjumma!" Luhan laughed, "I love you!"

Suho and Kris dragged Luhan towards his car and waved when his driver slipped him inside. They waited while Kris' driver brought the car for them. Suho punched Kris lightly in his arm as he watched him leave. Wrapping his coat tighter around him, Suho made the 5 minute walk towards his apartment. He slipped inside and walked towards his bedroom. Slipping inside his bed, he immediately fell asleep from the long day.

What was pretty funny was that it was barely 10 p.m.

10 p.m on a Friday night.

Oh what a time it was to be alive.

•••••••••

"The Three Friends?"

Chanmi stared long and hard at the pictures she had tacked onto her wall. Her eyes darted back and forth between the three pictures that filled up her empty wall. She fell back onto the floor and spread her body out as she tried to muster up the courage to do something.

"I'm hungry," She whimpered, "But I don't like the food in the fridge and I'm too broke to order anything."

She rolled back and forth as she contemplated on what to do. Her hands felt a small bag and Chanmi looked up to see an open bag of gummies that were underneath the living room table. She took a huge chunk and stuffed it into before spitting out.

"Ugh," Chanmi pretended to cry, "I'm so hungry!"

There was bit of silence as an idea popped inside her head. Chanmi stretched her body to grab a hold of her purse, her fingers barely touching her phone. Being the lazy bum that she was, Chanmi felt it was too much of a hassle to actually get up to grab her phone.

5 seconds was too much for the Chanmi.

"Pororo!" She yelled, "Get my phone!"

She turned her head to stare at her overweight and old dog who stared back at her with boredom. The floor shook as she tapped it, hoping she would walk over. There was a glimmer of hope as Pororo, the 10 year old poodle, stood up.

She barely walked 5 steps before lying back down. Chanmi thrashed her legs around before she smiled widely. She adjusted her position and used her foot to grab onto her bag. Her screams filled the empty apartment as the entire bag was dumped onto her face. She whimpered when she could feel a bruise forming on her forehead. Her hands grasped her phone tightly as she dialed.

"That's right," Chanmi murmured, "It's barely ten, he should still be at the office."

The phone rang for barely a second before going to voicemail. Chanmi pressed the redial button and patiently waited as she examined the contents of her purse. Noticing a half opened granola bar, she munched on it as the phone tried to connect the call. Her eyes flew wide open when she heard his voice and she began to choke on the food.

"What is it?"

"Oppa!" Chanmi coughed through tears, "I'm dying!"

"Chanmi what did you do now?" Baekhyun sighed, "Did you lose one of your straws?"

"I'm choking on food!"

"Sit up and swallow."

"It's too much work," She coughed more, "I can barely hold onto the phone."

"Chanmi." He growled through clenched teeth, "Sit. Up. And. Swallow. Now!"

Chanmi immediately sat up and swallowed the small chunk of granola bar. She rubbed before reaching out for a open bottle of soda. Baekhyun rolled his eyes on the other line as he heard her spit and cry out.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah."

"Well if that's the reason why you were calling me then I'll hang up," Baekhyun said, "I'll call you when I have set up a date."

"Bu-bu-but," Chanmi stuttered, "That wasn't why-"

"Hanging up now!"

Chanmi stared at her phone and called Baekhyun again but sighed when it went to voicemail. She decided a message would be the best way to communicate. She closed her eyes before turning to look at Pororo.

"Pororo!" Chanmi sobbed, "Bring me food!"

•••••••••

"Oppa! I'm dying!"

Baekyun took a deep breath as he stared at his phone. If this had been Chanmis' first phone call then he would have raced over to help. But for the past 6 months, he has received at least 20 calls per day. While some were extremely urgent, for example, like the day one of her dates tried to molest her, Chanmis' idea of urgent and life threatening situations made it to the bottom of his priority list.

If there wasn't food or if she needed help carrying things, Chanmi would not hesitate to call him. Of course it wasn't all bad. He would take those situations and turn them into opportunities to teach her further. To Baekhyun, Chanmi was supposed to be the prime example of how well he could do his job.

But then again, he wouldn't be stuck in this whole situation in the first place.

"What did you do now?" Baekhyun never took his eyes off his paperwork, "Did you lose one of your straws?"

"I'm choking on food!"

Baekhyun rubbed his temples as he could picture her lying on the ground. He knew several people that were lazy but Chanmi took it to a whole new level. If she needed to get up or do something that took more than 10 minutes, it was considered a hassle for her. 

An image of Chanmi lying on the ground with wrappers scattered around her and clothes tossed around was enough to make his blood boil over. Being the perfectionist that he was, Baekhyun would have immediately hired a maid just to take care of her.

But he knew how to separate work and personal life.

"Sit up and swallow," He instructed as he signed more contracts.

"It's too much work. I can barely hold onto the phone."

'Of course. Sitting up is too much of a hassle for her. How could he forget?' Baekhyun rolled his eyes in exasperation. He stood up and cleared his desk before grabbing his jacket. His eyes began to twitch as he tried to control his anger.

"Chanmi." He growled through clenched teeth, "Sit. Up. And. Swallow. Now!"

He could hear her gasping as she cleared . Baekhyun adjusted his suit before walking out of the office. He nodded at the security guard before slipping outside. A cold breeze made him shiver as he tried to grab his keys out of his pocket.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah."

Baekhyun slipped inside his toasty car and patiently waited for Chanmi to speak. Even though they have been at each others' nerves, it was always hard for her to speak first. He tapped his fingers lightly on the steering wheel.

"Well if that's the reason why you were calling me then I'll hang up," Baekhyun said, "I'll call you when I have set up a date."

"Bu-bu-but," Chanmi stuttered, "That wasn't why-"

"Hanging up now!"

He quickly hung up and turned back to the car. Within seconds he was out on the road with his music blasting through the open window. Baekhyun felt his phone vibrate and pulled over. He rejected Chanmis' call before sighing when he heard a new message pop up.

'CEO Byun. I understand that I may be a bit annoying but I am seriously dying of hunger. I tripped and fell and now I can't get up. Please and I mean please, will you do me a favor and bring me food? My wallet would be so happy and I would be too. As for re-payment, I promise to do whatever you want. And I mean whatever you want. Anything with meat or noodles would be nice. But not spicy. Thank you once again from your biggest fangirl, Park Chanmi. Oh and here's my address!'

Baekhyun stared incredulously at his phone before shaking his head. He looked down the road and noticed a restaurant nearby. Mentally kicking himself he bought some food and headed towards her house. He slipped outside his car and into the apartment complex. What amazed him the most was that Chanmi lived in a decent part of Seoul. It was close to the shopping district and to the company. 

It was in the perfect area, she could bother him before or after shopping.

He waited in the lobby of the complex and called her. Baekhyun could hear Chanmis' excited voice on the other end of the line. 

"CEO Byun!" Chanmi laughed, "You actually brought me food!"

"Just hurry up and get it," Baekhyun sighed, "I'm tired."

"But I fell and can't get up."

"I'm in the lobby. Should I give it to someone else?"

"Wait!" Chanmi yelled, "I'm in 610."

"I'm not going to your house," He glanced at his watch, "I have to go home."

"Please? Pretty please?"

"20 straws."

"What?"

Baekhyuns' lips curved into an evil grin, "I'll give you your food if you give me 20 straws."

"Bu-bu-but I-I-I can't," Chanmi stuttered, "10 straws."

"15."

"13."

"15," He snapped, "I brought both meat and noodles."

Baekhyun could hear her whimper and whisper to herself. He tapped his foot as he waited for her answer. With a wide smile, he made his way to the elevator, victory radiating from him.

"Fine. 15 straws," She mumbled, "I can do that much."

"Good."

He hung up the phone and stepped out into the hallway. Glancing at each door, he finally arrived outside Chanmis' door. There was silence as he pressed the door bell. Baekhyun could hear Chanmi struggling to stand up before hearing her yell.

"1417!"

"What!?" Baekhyun called out, "What was that?"

"My passcode!" Chanmi yelled, "1417!"

He quickly typed in the code and his mouth opened in shock as the door unlocked. Baekhyun opened the door just enough to peer inside. Chanmi was lying on the floor and stared at him with a wide smile. She waved for him to come inside before going back to her original position. Baekhyun stepped inside and his eyes almost popped outside of his head.

The living room was full of dirty clothes scattered around. There were wrappers and empty bowls of food on the coffee table. The kitchen was a complete mess with dirty dishes piled high in the sink. Chanmi's dog was sleeping in the middle of the room.

"Oh my god," Baekhyun gasped, "What is wrong with you!?"

"What?" Chanmi surveyed the area, "It's my house."

"I-I-I can't breathe!"

Baekhyun pressed his back against the wall and covered his face as he felt his frustration poke through. He turned to give Chanmi a glare as he picked up some of her clothes. There was a loud thud as Chanmi threw a pillow at him.

"Leave that alone!"

"I can't!"

Chanmi forced herself to stand up and pulled Baekhyun to sit on the couch. Mustering up all her strength, she quickly cleaned the living room and laid back down on the ground. She looked up to see him staring at her in disgust and shock.

"You get used to it," She shrugged, "Trust me."

"Chanmi, you are the most disgusting girl, no scratch that, person I have ever met," He shuddered, "How can you live like this!?"

"I just do."

"I think I'm going to throw up."

"Oh no," Chanmi shook her head, "Not in here you won't."

She pointed to a nearby door and rolled her eyes when he ran towards it. The door closed with a loud smash and she went back to the bag of food on the ground. Chanmi stretched out her legs and grabbed the bag with her toes. She managed to sit up and began to eat, ignoring the greasiness of the food. Baekhyun stepped out of the bathroom and stopped in his tracks when he saw her eating. Somehow, he managed to throw up everything in his stomach.

"Oh god," Baekhyun moaned, "Someone kill me."

"What's the point?" Chanmi smiled through grease stained lips, "Dying's such a hassle."

•••••••••

 

✉ author's corner;

Hello! For some strange reason, I really wanted to update this story. Maybe because I'm so used to dealing with really angsty stories, it's a nice change to go into comedy. Just so you know, I am really bad with jokes and I have a bit of dry humor. But that won't stop me from trying my best. So comment away and let me know what you think so far of the story? Oh and for readers/subscribers who have been with me for a while (know my other stories), what do you think of my writing? Like how is this compared to my other stories?

Oh and I was wondering, Who is your EXO bias/Who do you think Chanmi should end up with?
Leave many comments below please! Pretty please!?
And here is cute BaekSoo for you!

 

And here is my secret bias wrecker Chen!