Is it just me or I feel that tingling sensation in my stomach, again? As much as it’s ticklish, but I can’t help but feel that my heartbeat pounded faster than it usually does. I also can’t help how fluttering I feel like now. This is so unusual for me.

Me, Lee Ahyoung, does not have that flutter-flutter.... whatever it is.

However, what happened to me now?

What exactly happened to me?

As I realized what Xiumin was doing to me, to be honest, I was taken aback by surprised. However, it slowly turned out that I’m starting to enjoy it… but of course, I won’t show it to the world because it is just not me. It is definitely not Lee Ahyoung.

With my eyes still widened, I felt that Xiumin’s arms were starting to encircle on my waist, pulling me closer to him. However, I ended up in the ground with our bodies close to each other. His arms still firmly gripped on my waist and our lips never broke.

Slowly, I felt Xiumin starting to move his lips against mine. Which however, I answered with a shut mouth, not knowing what to do. I was contemplating on to just let him or block him like I usually do to him. However, in spite that I don’t like him…

I like what we were doing. Very much.

Xiumin slowly began to tilt his head to the side, deepening the closed gap between our faces. And here I am, looking at him with a pair of widened eyes like an idiot. I seriously don’t know what to do right now.

As I saw his closed eyes, I slowly felt that my body is starting to enjoy this to. My inner logical thoughts were screaming to not enjoy it; however, I ended up closing my eyes slowly and kissed him back.

I swear that Xiumin was taken by surprised by my sudden action, but I can’t help it. It felt so freaking good, and I just can’t seem to resist him.

He pulled me closer to him, now I’m in a position like what happened to Eunhee and Chen back there, but we were practically sitting on top of the grassy ground. And funny that I didn’t complained any single bit of it.

A few seconds later---or minutes, I might say. I didn’t count the time---we pulled away from each other and our heavy breaths mingled together. Damn, didn’t know that kissing will get me sweaty and panting even though it’s night and cold.

Our foreheads touched one against another, and we were trying to catch our breaths. I reluctantly opened my eyes and saw Xiumin’s dark orbs staring straightly right to my own orbs.

I saw his expression; slightly tired. I touched his cheek gently and he closed his eyes, still controlling his breath. Hesitantly, I called his name with a whispered.

“Umin…?”

His eyes opened instantly, and I saw that it was widened like saucers. He pushed back himself, making a distance between us, before he stood up and I followed along hesitantly.

I was confused with his sudden behavior, so I neared him. “Xiumin…-”

“I’m sorry!” Xiumin exclaimed; which took me by surprise and withdrew my hand back from trying to approach him. I saw his expression clearly; completed apologetic and confused at the same time. And from what I know, that is so not him.

“Xiumin, I-”

“I-I said I’m sorry, Ahyoung! What do you ing want from me again? Suffer?!” Xiumin shouted, making me flinch in my spot. “Is that not enough? You want me to suffer more?”

Tears were threatening to fall from the corner of my eyes. I felt worried because this is not the Xiumin I know. I stepped forward slowly. “M-minseok, I-”

“D-don’t touch me! I repeat! Don’t touch me!” Xiumin stepped back instantly, and I halted in a heartbeat. “Do not even step closer to me… I---”

“No,” I clenched my fists and stepped forward to him, not caring of his usage of inappropriate words to make me stand away from him. “I won’t follow your orders, Xiumin. I will still try to step closer to you---”

“P-please…” Xiumin’s voice tone lowers into a soft plead. “Just this once… please.”

As I looked at his eyes that were gazing softly at me, I sighed and stepped back involuntarily. “Fine… if that’s what you want,” I muttered under my breath.

“T-thank you,” Xiumin said gratefully. And despite the fact that his head was hung low, I could still the relieved spark in his eyes.

I took a moment to scrutinize him. He looks very different right now. Not the Xiumin that I know. He looks so vulnerable… so weak… yet so angry at the same time. Yet again…

He looks as if he wants to break.

“Firstly, I’m truly sorry for my actions earlier,” Xiumin’s voice cut off my thoughts. I wasn’t used for him to speak so formally to me like this. “I-I didn’t know what got into my head, okay. It was as if my body was controlled.”

“Secondly,” he inhaled a breath. “You can hit me all you want. Mock me all you want. Do whatever to me that will satisfy your satisfactions.”

My eyebrows furrowed. “Xiumin, I---”

“Third… and maybe the least,” he muttered under his breath. “Forget everything.”

Blank.

I don’t know why, but my mind suddenly went blank with his words. “W-what did you say?” I asked barely in a whisper, hoping that what he said was not what I thought it was.

Xiumin inhaled and avoided my stare. “I said… just… forget everything.”

My arms drooped to my sides as I processed every word that he just said.

Forget… everything?

“Everything…?” I muttered under my breath as I tried to stare at him through my water covered eyes. The drops didn’t fall yet, but I know it could sooner or later.

I saw him nod. “Yes,” he responded as soon as he looked at me straight in the eyes. I saw his firm gaze and knew that he was being serious.

“Okay then,” I casually responded. If he wants it that way, then be it. “Let’s forget everything what happened just now.”

His mouth was contemplating to protest, but he immediately shut it close and nodded curtly at my words. “Sure.”

“Sure. Okay. It won’t be that hard anyway, right?” I managed to plaster a small smile.

“Yeah,” Xiumin rubbed his nape. “W-well then, I guess I’ll be g-going.”

“Ah, yes you may,” I responded a bit sad, but I managed to hide it well.

Xiumin walked as I gave him way, but suddenly stopped. I forced myself to not look at him and just smile widely to the empty space in front of me. I heard him sigh and our hands brushed against each other, making me feel the familiar warmth again.