--Yerin's POV--

“Yerin, let's eat.”, Yeonmi said while peeking her head from the door of my room.

I just shook my head and looked away.

Yeonmi sighed, entered my room and slowly walked to me. She sat beside me and let my head rest on her shoulder.

We just stayed quiet while in that position. Knowing that she's beside me already helps calming me.

Surprisingly, I'm not crying right now. It's not because I'm not in pain anymore, or I'm not sad anymore, my tears just stopped from flowing, at least for now, though I wish I'll just cry too ease all the pain inside me.

“He believes I totally didn't visit him while he's in the hospital.”, I said lifelessly while staring at a space.

“But actually, I went there, for a few times. I just didn't let anyone see me. I would peek at his window whenever I'm there. Sometimes I'd see him sleeping, sometimes he's awake. All I wanted to do then is to show up and just hug him and take care of him but I can't because of that decision I should hold on.”, I told her.

Yeonmi knows it all. She's the only one that knows everything, being my bestfriend. Sometimes, she'd be the one who would visit and check Jonghyun for me.

“You don't have to stay like this. Just go back to him and you'll be fine again.”

“I can't anymore. I already let him go.”, I sighed.

Few more moments of silence then my phone suddenly rang.

“Pick it up.”, Yeonmi said when she felt that I was about to ignore the call.

Following her, I looked at the caller ID first. I hesitated to answer it because I'm not sure if I'll be able to talk to her right now but at the end, I ended up taking the call.

“Unni...” I softly called.

“You're not busy, right? Let's meet.”, she said in a not-so-lively voice. She gave it as a command instead of asking me.

“I'm not busy.”, I answered.

“Great. I'll text you the location.”, she said in finality then immediately hung up, not giving me a chance to refuse.

“Sodam Unni?”, Yeonmi asked.

I nodded. “Shall I meet her? I don't know how will I face her after what I did.”

“You have to face her. You can't just hide from them the forever.”

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We have been sitting in front of each other in a cafe for minutes since we met but we're still both quiet. I'm feeling really nervous because I can feel that Unni is mad at me. I totally understand her, she has all the rights to be mad at me.

“H-how's Jonghyun, u-unni?”, I gathered all my courage to be able to talk just to start the conversation.

I wanted to ask more about Jonghyun's condition and his recovery but I don't think she will like it.

She looked at me blankly. “So, you still care for my brother.”

I bowed my head down, embarrassed on what she said. I had it confirmed that she's mad at me.

I heard her sighed. “If your asking about his recovery from the accident, he's fine now. But if you're asking 'how is Jonghyun', I'll say he's not fine now. He's miserable, to be exact.”

“Sorry, unni...”, I mumbled.

“I want to hear it from you Yerin. Please tell me the truth and explain it all to me. Why did you leave him?”, she asked calmly but in a begging way.

I was left with no choice but to answer her, with everything she is asking to know. Though it'd be very hard to explain myself, I wouldn't lie to her.

“First, I wanted to say sorry again. It's not something that I wanted to do but I believe this is for the better. I left him because I don't think I'm bringing something good to him. He got hurt for many times because of me, and though he's not complaining, I know he's having a hard time because we argue often. This is not what he deserves, unni.”, I sniffed and wiped my tears.

“Do you think leaving him brought something good? For the two of you?”, she asked calmly, and now, I don't feel any anger on her voice.

“Maybe right now there's still none but when time passed by, when he found someone better, he'll realize that this is all for him. I'm not enough for him, he deserves more...”

“How can you say that? Don't you know what he always says? You're more than enough for him. And until now, he kept on repeating it.”, her eyes became watery too.

“Yerin, don't let the two of you suffer. I'm saying this because I can't bear to see my brother in this condition. A very unpleasant condition.”, she begged and held my hand.

“Unni, I'm so sorry. He might suffer more if I won't leave him now. That's the least I wanted to happen.  I'm so sorry.”, I wiped away tears, stood up and bowed for goodbye.

I stood up but my body won't follow my command to walk away. I just remained standing and thoughts of Jonghyun kept flashing in my mind. His smiling face, his naughty smirks and grins, his endless skinship and everything sweet he does.

'Why am I still holding back?', I asked myself.

'You're more than enough for him'....'Don't let the two of you suffer', I remembered unni's words.

“Yerin...”, unni called. “I have witnessed how the two of you started. If you're thinking you didn't brought him something good, you're totally wrong. You have brought him a lot. Being with him... Making him smile even with just the thoughts of you... Changing him to become more acceptable and there's a lot more that if i mentioned those one by one, we might not finish today.”

By what she said, I found an answer to my question earlier on 'why am I still holding back?'. The answer in 'Nothing... You have no reason at all.'

Thinking of that, it was like a tight knot inside me has been loosened. I am able to think well and I even felt better. And I know I have to do something right now.

“Unni, where's Jonghyun right now?”, I immediately asked.

Sodam unni blinked a few times while staring me before she smiled widely then hugged me.

“Thank you.”, she whispered while hugging me then she parted and wiped her tears.

“You better go quickly to his house right now. He's doing something not-so-good lately so scold him after you have fixed everything,okay?”

“Ne unni. Thank you.”, I smiled and bowed again at her for goodbye before running, literally running, to get to Jonghyun as fast as possible.

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Slowly, I opened the front door of his house. It was very quiet like no one is home but unni assured me that Jonghyun is here so I walked in farther to search for him. I was about to go to his bedroom but I heard noises from the kitchen so I immediately went there.

I was surprised to see him sitting by the kitchen counter, with a bottle of alcohol and a glass still full of that liquid. I didn't even think anymore and just ran to him to take the alcohol away.

“What do you think you're doing?”, I scold him while taking the glass and the bottle away.

He obviously got shocked when I suddenly appeared in front of him. He wasn't able to react while staring at me. Then I saw his eyes sparking with longing but then, just a few seconds, he frowned and looked away.

“What are you doing here?”, he asked coldly, trying to get the glass from me.

“Jonghyun, stop! Alcohol isn't good for you.”

He laughed bitterly, already a bit tipsy. “Woah! You care for me? You care about what's good and what's not for me? You sure?”

I ran to the sink, far from him and placed the alcohol there, then go back to him.

“You're drunk. You should rest first then we'll talk later.”, I said, trying to lead him to his room but he stood up straight and removed my hands holding his arms.

“I'm not drunk. I still can think well. I still can understand what's happening. And I still can remember that you already let go of me. You kept driving me away and I, being so stupidly in love with you, I kept on pushing myself to you.”, he half-yelled.

“Jonghyun, we'll talk later. Rest first.”, I tried to lead him again to his room but he yanked my hands.

“I don't need rest! All I need is to know why you have to leave me? Is it because of Sehun? You like him? Or you like someone else?”, he said in an accusing tone, his tipsiness is slowly fading away being replaced by anger.

I just chose to remain silent and not to answer him.

“I've been in the hospital for too long. I have no idea that time on what you did and I kept on waiting for you. It was like waiting for a snow during summer. I need you then, but you're not showing up. You know how hard is it for me?”, he pointed at himself.

“You think it's not hard for me?”, I asked as tears come out from my eyes drop by drop.

“God knows how much I suffered too, Jonghyun, how painful it was everytime I drive you away from me and everytime I see you in pain, and how much tears I shed. Those hard times that I can't stay still because I'm so worried about you're recovery from the accident. I wanted to check if you have already taken your medicine, if you're still in pain or if you need something...”, I paused for a while to give way for the tears coming out from my eyes and for the sobs that wanted to escape from my throat.

Though I'm drowning in tears, I still wanted to continue talking to let him know everything I've been through and that I suffered too.

“Do you know how many exams and quizzes I almost failed because I can't concentrate and I can't help myself thinking of you? Do you also know how much I wanted to go to you because I'm dying to see you, and how much I wanted to call you because I miss talking to you? All of those...”, I trailed off.

I can't continue anymore because of so much tears streaming down from my eyes.

“Why didn't you do those things? You know those are what I wanted.”, he said in a broke and hurting tone.

“Because I'm too dumb to believe that it will be better for the two of us, specially for you, if I will just stay away, so that you can find someone better than me.”

“Yes you're dumb to think of that.”, he said seriously.

I let myself cry for a few more seconds before I tried to calm myself even for a bit, so that I could talk properly. I wiped my eyes, though tears still escape from eyes, then I looked up to him.

“But now I know that everything I did isn't for the better. That's why I'm here...”, I sniffed and took a step closer to him before continuing.

“I'm sorry for those dumb things I did and for those times that I should have been on your side... I know I have pushed you away many times but please, Jonghyun, another chance... Could you please comeback to me?”, I asked looking straightly in his eyes.

He stared at me with those watery eyes of his. I could still see pain in his eyes while looking at me. There's still a bit anger but I hope the tears that were about to fall from his eyes could wash them away.

He sighed and seriously looked at me. “I won't.”

I blinked a few times after I heard his answer. I felt the want of my body to collapse to the floor. I continued to look at him, hoping that there would be something that will change the answer that he has given.

'You lost him...'

A little voice from inside me said that made me bow down my head and tears where dropping on the floor. My body was preparing to move and leave but I heard Jonghyun sighed.

“Why would I comeback if I didn't even leave, in the first place?”

I froze on my spot after hearing that. It took me seconds to realize what does he really meant. I looked up at him but I still can't react.

“I never left, Yerin.”, he said then spread his arms wide and smiled though he's already in tears also.

My sobs and cry got louder as I finally managed to move. I immediately jump to him and hugged his neck, completely throwing myself to him.

He wrapped his arms on my waist and hugged me as tight as possible, even bringing me up from the floor. He buried his head on the crook of my neck as his sobs continue. I can feel the side of my neck being wet because of his tears but I don't bother, I'm sure his shirt is also as wet as newly washed clothes because of my tears too.

“Yerin...”, he whispered on my neck then brought his face in front of mine.

“Remember this... you may not be the best girlfriend, you always makes me jealous, you're cold sometimes and you sometimes ignore me, but all of those... those are the things that made you perfect for me. A perfect girlfriend that perfectly fits for me.”

I chuckled and wiped his tears with my own hands.

“This will never happen again. I'm sorry, very very sorry.”, I said.

“And I won't let this happen anymore. Even how many times you'll push me away or leave me for another unreasonable reason, I'll still be with you and I won't let you leave me.”, he said and kissed my forehead.

I missed him very much that if possible, I will hug him the whole day.

He stared straightly onto my eyes and I saw that sincere look again from him. Then like what I always experience, there was like a pendulum between us and hypnotizing me while our faces draws near to each other.

“You smell like alcohol.”, I said and crumpled my nose when he was a few centimeters away from me.

“So you're refusing?”, he smirked naughtily.

I giggled. “No.”

I gave a short answer then I, myself, crossed the remaining distance between our faces and kissed him. This kiss that I missed very much. This kiss that could erase everything that has happen these past days. The emptiness that I have been feeling since I stayed away from him has already gone. It was all filled up, and even make it overflow, just because of this moment that we are sharing right now.

We parted and I smirked at him.

“Why?”, he asked, fixing my hair.

“Your alcohol tolerance isn't that good. Get ready for the hangover tomorrow.”, I laughed.

“Fine with me. I'm sure you'll be taking care of me.”, he laughed too but then he became serious and hugged me again.

“I missed you.”, he whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, that's the last from my BULK UPDATE (starting from Chapter 41). How was it? Did you became nervous because of the title? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

ANNOUNCEMENT: I'll be ending this fanfic soon. Maybe two more chapters? Please keep reading until the last chapter which I will be posting soon...

THANK YOU!

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