Loving her was easy but being with her was hard. Work tore us apart –mostly my work. Travelling was a part of my schedule and I could not avoid it but being away from her was so tough, it broke my cool exterior of not trying to whine or break down in front of her despite her being a thousand miles away from me. I thought I could get use to the long distance relationship and use the time that we are apart to get things done but I was proven wrong when every thought revolved around her and how much I wanted her to be doing the things that I always did alone with me. I would always have imaginations of us doing grocery shopping together, walking down the streets with coffee in our hands and being silly, taking weird videos together but they were always done with Tao or Luhan instead of her. And that was when I realized that she was the center of my world. She was one that I couldn’t give up but could give up whatever that I had for her – fame, wealth and health.

Baby I miss you. I couldn’t resist but send her this every minute that I got off from work. I could send her that more than 10 times a day and her reply would always make my heart swell with gratitude, love and forlorn for not being able to be there to say it to her verbally.
I miss you too. She would always reply and end off with hearts and a brief summary of what she was doing – something that I couldn’t because of the difference between the amount of time she has and I do. The last time I saw her face was a long five months ago. Her features though remained etched in my mind; a face, which I would never forget or grow tired of, but I longed to see and feel her presence. We would Skype whenever we could and send audios to each other via social networks but it was still hard to not feel her around me.

The most painful part was when I was back in Seoul and I was so desperate to meet her in the afternoon at a local café but all I could do was to linger around the glass panel, surrounded by tons of fans as I hide my fixated gaze on her behind my sunglasses. Her dewy skin, rosy cheeks, smiling kind eyes and chubby cheeks were all that I longed to caress and snuggle against after a long, tiring day at work. She was my source of relaxation, happiness, peace and love yet I had to leave behind all those just for the sakes of my dreams. How big can one dream when they have to leave behind their loved ones? – I always questioned myself this and often thought of leaving the team, leaving the music biz to pursue my life with her but she always persuaded me to go on and not give up because of her. She was selfless and I was selfish. It wasn’t that she didn’t love me but she loves me too much that hurting and destroying my dreams would hurt her. I was already a part of her and so was she.

It was the end of our schedule in Beijing and instead of returning back to the dorm after a drink or two with Luhan, I decided to return back to our shared apartment. One which both of us rarely spent time with in. It was always she in the apartment alone or I. Taping the passcode was a tough job, considering the alcohol taking it’s place in my blood and noticing my surrounding and a familiar pair of wedges was pretty tough because of the dim lighting and light headedness. Stumbling around the house, I found my way to our bedroom safely and was about to drop myself onto her side of the bed when I noticed a small figure, wrapped up under the sheets, sleeping soundly. God, it’s her. I was electrified; my entire body was radiating joy, pure joy. The elation ran through my veins, coursed through my heart and my heart was beating so hard.

Changing into my pajamas, I met her in bed and pulled her close under my chin. Inhaling the scent of her hair, one of the things that I missed most. “I love you. I love you so much.” I mumbled against her forehead as she wrapped her arms and legs around mine. “Hmmm” she hummed in appreciation, not opening an eye to check if it was really I that she was hugging. She knew, she always knew. “I love you very much too.” Her smile was evident against my chest. “Thank you for being here with me. Gosh, I love you so much.”

It is all worth it after all for it is love, our enduring… sweet love. 

>> I've yet to proof read it as it's pretty late now and i'm really tired. 
Goodnight kiddos!