You know what the most other than being a woman? It’s having to witness someone else in your bed, with your husband. You know what even more? It’s to live in denial, believing that he still loves you despite the raw scene that you witnessed. The worse thing of all will definitely be… how you can never forget how to love him.

Min came home to a place filled with beer cans, sweet wrappers, potato chips, dirty clothes and shattered glasses lying on the ground, staining her carpet. It’s my fate, my destiny - my life. She glanced at the mess in front of her yet did nothing but continue walking forward to the bedroom which she shared with her once, one and only. Twisting the doorknob and entering the bedroom, the stench of alcohol reeked the entire room but she couldn’t do much for she had no capabilities either.

“Oh babe, you are back.” His voice was slurry.
“Would you please come lie beside me?” he begged yet giggled and hiccupped after that.

Min turned back to face him and watched him with tired, lonesome eyes. She obliged to his request after changing into her pajamas and laid beside him with his hands draped across her tummy, his head nuzzling into her nape – little erratic sobs emitting from the man lying on her. She his hair gently, hoping that that would soothe him to sleep. It was like this every night. He would hold her in his arms, lie against the crook of her neck and cry. Though Min was clearly aware that her husband was guilty for cheating on her, she couldn’t bring herself to do anything more for him other than caressing his hair, soothing his back and giving him pecks on his head when he has fallen asleep. She loved him more than he could ever imagine but she couldn’t help him get over the guilt that he was facing. It has been 62 days ever since that incident. 62 days later, all he did was to bury himself in anguish, guilt and constant lashing out on himself. It pained her even more that she couldn’t do anything to help him – her husband.

When he wakes up, he’ll probably forget all the tears that he has shed but the guilt that was trapped in his heart will never leave for whenever he sees her face, memories of him tearing her down unknowingly and putting her through immense pain killed him. How can I ever put my wife through something so horrible, something so deadly? Yet she never gave up on him. No matter how messed up her life is right now, she would rather risk it all just to be by his side ‘because Jia heng, you are much more worthy than I am.’

Soothing him to sleep was her routine every night yet she didn’t expect him to be awake this time. When she was about to let go off him, he held onto her even tighter and raised his head to face her. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, he looked so haggard and the only aura that he carried was nothing but sadness. “I’m sorry…” he cried. “I’m… sorry…” he cried even harder against her chest as she pulled him closer. “It’s over Jia heng… everything’s fine. We are fine. I love you.. I love you.” Her hands ran up and down his back but he couldn’t stop crying. “I really love you… I really do… I’m sorry…” he continued crying.

That night Min woke up and found herself lying in bed alone. She never realized when Jia heng left her side neither did she realize that she fell asleep. All that she remembered was him crying for a long long time. “Jia heng?” she called as she made her way to the living room. “Jia heng!” she cried as the man she loved was lying on the floor with blood gushing out of his wrist. “Why did you do this to yourself?!” it was ironic how a while ago she was the one who was trying to stop him from crying yet now she’s drowned in her own tears. “I love you…” he smiled before passing out.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“If I didn’t pull your lanky arse to the hospital five years ago, I would have probably killed myself too.” Min scowled while feeding their son, Mason.
“I love you so much.” He kissed her neck.

62 days later, I found him once again.

Authors note >>

I hope it wasn't too confusing for you guys. Keep your comments flowing in please! 

xoxo