“-------, stop clinging onto me. We are getting weird glanced from people.” You bit your lip and buried your face into his shoulder. The eyes that stared at you were blind. You didn’t dare look at anyone. Even with strangers that you had never seen before, faces were falling off. You couldn’t trust the people around you. Their faces would show happiness then fall off to reveal anger. More masks would fall off to show love, sadness, angst, depression, happiness, hate, vengeance, distain, innocence, greed, sinful expressions that made you cringe. They were all fake and disgusting. It was best if you hid from them, even if you hid in his shirt. Jaejoong was a killer, but he was the safest person around you. His face didn’t fall off because you already knew who he was.

The other passengers brushed your actions off as being a loving couple. They didn’t realize the flood of masks you saw were making you lose years from your life. You left the ignorant watchers to think of their own conclusions. Resting your face on Jaejoong, you felt safer than before. It had been dangerous to be alone, but with him things were calmer and real. Soon, it wasn’t the struggle of hiding, but the struggle to stay awake. Jaejoong’s presence let your anxiety go, and you slumbered on him passively.

12:12 pm

You didn’t want anymore kimchi; you had already had two bowls. You were going to smack Jaejoong if they took your weight and you had gained. Jaejoong paid for the meal and you left. You felt in a rush, the appointment was at a quarter to one. Jaejoong heard your desperate urge to get to the doctor on time, but he was in no hurry. He wanted to spend his time out with enjoyment, not stress. He didn’t understand your fears. You wanted to get to the clinic as soon as possible. He wanted to take his time.

Jaejoong led you through a garden park. He claimed that it was a shortcut, but you wouldn’t have known any better. It was peaceful at first, with the wind hugging you weakly and the sun trying to beat on you with a warming spring power. But when you saw other couples walking around you clamped your eyes shut. Their eyes had already hollowed out when you glanced over them. Did you trust Jaejoong enough to lead you around blindly? It wasn’t a question that had an answer. You had no choice. He was the safest, the most real.

You wrapped your fingers into his hand and he smiled. He guided you along a path and tapped your shoulder with his free hand. You blinked your eyes open and stared at a small fountain. Why had he brought you there? Jaejoong pointed at a little puppy on the other side of the rushing water, but you didn’t see it. You were mesmerized by the fountain. It seemed to be glowing crimson, like blood. You squeezed his hand in discomfort; there was too much blood. Jaejoong looked at you cringing and finally took you to the clinic, he thought that being on time was the only thing bothering you.

1:23 pm

The so called specialist had made the two of you wait for over half an hour before he actually walked into the room. He sat in a chair and started to read over his clipboard before looking at you. Jaejoong caressed your hand knowing you were growing impatient. Of course you were, there was the opportunity to use your arm again and the doctor was just wasting your time! It infuriated you! The doctor cleared his throat and actually began to acknowledge your existence. “Hello -------, I am Doctor Lee. Jaejoong ah tells me that you have lost mobility and function in your arm. I understand that you suffered a gunshot wound to this arm. Can you relay the event with me? Just so I can get a better understanding of this outcome.”

You weren’t sure how to reply. Did you want to tell him that you had been saving people’s lives when you were hit by a curious shadow? It sounded insane. You also couldn’t remember much as you were barely grasping consciousness at the time. Jaejoong answered for you.

“When she was shot she walked a distance before collapsing on the ground. Someone that was with us removed her top to relieve pressure and ease her breathing. They also made a makeshift tourniquet with a shirt.” Dr. Lee stopped Jaejoong for a moment.

“Tourniquets are very dangerous things. They almost always end up with amputation and loss of movement. That could be the real reason your arm isn’t working.” He saw the frown on Jaejoong’s face and bowed his head. “Fine, please continue.”

“When I got the chance I called an ambulance. The time from when she was hit to when the paramedics came was roughly an hour. I know she should have died.” The doctor nodded his head, taking in the information.

“And how was your rehabilitation?” Without looking him in the eyes you relayed the process you took to bring movement back. He was astounded that your arm had functioned for a few months but suddenly stopped. “Describe the time when it stopped working.”

“I was trapped alone and I was trying to escape. I must have over exerted myself because my arm felt a throb and just became limp. I don’t really understand it.” Dr. Lee tapped his pencil on his clipboard in thought.

“Did you ever have any other experiences with getting shot?” You shook your head, but deep down all the memories were eating at you. Changmin wanting to use a gun in NIGHTMARE, the dream of watching everyone being slaughtered one by one, you shooting your head off. Dr. Lee read your expression well. He didn’t know what had happened to you, but he was no newbie. He had seen similar cases before.

“This isn’t a problem with your muscles and nerves not working. If they recovery hadn’t worked at first I would have blamed the person that gave you a tourniquet, but this seems more of a psychological problem. Your mind is saying that it is still injured, or that it is going to be injured again.” He started to scribble on a paper with a pen from his coat. “Sorry, but I specialize in recovery, not in therapy. You should see someone else for that. I can prescribe some medicine if your arm is hurting.” It was hurting. Every time your arm quaked it stabbed you with pain. But you weren’t weak. You would act strong, even if you were quivering like a baby on the inside. You still hadn’t met his eyes.

“There isn’t anything you can do?” Jaejoong had clasped your hand gingerly, wanting to make it as hopeful as possible. You looked up to see his face, but you saw his instead. Dr. Lee’s face was melting with high speed. His clothes were flaming and splitting apart. He opened his mouth to speak, but instead of words, a waterfall of blood and roses spilled out. You started to cry on the spot and no one understood why.

******************************

Just so nobody asks, she is not dreaming and they are not in NIGHTMARE. I hope this was cute for you, I am not that good at writing mushy things. I don't think it will really show because I focused on her dependence on Jaejoong more than her "romance".

Comments are motivation~♥