037

I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. I was nervous to see Luhan. After the kiss, he just helped me up and got ready to sleep. I buried my face into a pillow.

After laying there, suffocating myself for a few minutes, I got up and went to take a shower, I needed to look good. I peeked outside the door.

No one.

I smiled and pranced to the kitchen. Luhan was washing something in the sink and I stopped in my tracks.

Do I say hi? Or do I just walk in and do something? OMO. WHY AM I ACTING LIKE THIS? Keep calm! It's just Luhan...kind of. I fist pumped and walked into the kitchen. I was going to play it cool.

"Hey." I shot him a nod and opened the fridge.

I silently screamed like an idiot and grabbed the orange juice. I took a clean glass and poured some juice in.

Luhan didn't give me a smile.

Or anything.

All through breakfast...

Nothing!

It was days. Then weeks.

Luhan and I haven't spoken. I tried to talk to him, but all he did was nod or shake his head. He didn't even write any more notes.

Something was wrong and I could feel it. At least when he was being an , he'd still talk to me. I did a lot of things to try to make him remember me. But he didn't respond to most of my attempts.

Did he regret kissing me? Does he not like me? Are we over? Will he ever love me again? Were questions that were piling up in my mind. Minhyuk's words echoed through my mind and wouldn't go away. I was getting scared. I was losing my hope.

Then I got my answer one day.

I was done with my assignments, I went to go watch some tv.

Luhan was sitting there, eating some chips. He looked up at me and gave me a nod, then looked back at the tv. I didn't even get to smile at him.

I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and sat beside Luhan. I couldn't handle it anymore.

"Luhan, do you hate me or something?" I mumbled as I hugged my knees. Luhan stopped eating and shook his head.

I pouted,"Then why aren't you talking to me? It's been about two weeks already. I feel like you just gave up on us ever since that...night."

Luhan his hands, put the chips away, and grabbed his notebook. It took him awhile, then he gave it to him.

My heart crushed into pieces.

Im sorry about what I did that day. I acted rashly. Please forget about it.

You looked like you need comforting. It was a wrong thing to do.

We shouldn't have kissed. Im sorry, Sumin.

He regrets it. I crumpled the edges of the note because I was gripping it too hard. My chest felt tight, I couldn't breathe. My head was spinning and I stood up to fast and held my head.

Luhan sat up alert.

"Is that how you feel?" I whispered and blinked as my tears rapidly fell.

"You regret it...Im so stupid. I thought we could actually start over for real. Help you get your memories back. But I thought wrong." I shook my head,"Im so stupid for thinking I can do such a thing that's actually impossible...Minhyuk was right. Things could be different between us."

Luhan's eyes widened and he started to write, but I stopped him,"Save your time Luhan. You don't need to explain. You've explained enough for me to understand that you don't feel the same way about me." I headed toward the door and put on my slippers.

I opened the door,"Just to let you know my feelings. I didn't think our kiss was wrong. I thought it was the most perfect one we've had so far. I thought you'd feel the same way. Once again, I was wrong."

Then I left.

"It just had to rain." I whispered and looked up at the sky as I was swinging on a swing, by myself.

I've been gone most of the day. I was here at the park the whole time. I didn't feel anything, I felt numb actually. My body was cold from the pouring rain. But I didn't move an inch and just kept swinging.

It was a wrong day to wear shorts and a tank top.

I started to sing and I closed my eyes.

"You pretend to know,

like the hero of a drama.

Can't you spare me?

The one who makes my heart beat painfully,

it's you, but I still love you.

It's like times like these when you hold me,

saying Im sorry and I love you will do.

If it is like that, then from me to you

I'll reward you with a warm kiss..."

I cried and wiped my eyes.

"I know there's no other guy like you,

I know it well.

But why do I keep saying mean things to you?

You fool, why don't you know my heart?

Of all the things I hoped for, this isn't it.

Even if it's for a moment...

The one who used to run to me saying I miss you

I miss you, you're my one love..."

I stopped swinging and cried out loud. No one else was outside. So it didn't matter if I was loud.

I was hurt.

I didn't feel the rain anymore and I looked up at the person with an umbrella.

"Don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop on someone who is singing?" I sniffed and wiped my nose.

"You don't look good." He replied. "What's a pretty girl like you doing outside in the rain, making dozens of guys look for you, crying in an abandoned playground? Don't you think it's the wrong time to do this?"

"Shut up, Minhyuk."

"Let's go." Took off his jacket and placed it over my shoulders. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up.

"I don't want to go home yet..." I stopped walking.

Minhyuk's brow furrowed and he questioned me,"Why not? Luhan's freaking out. Everyone is."

"I can't go back to him...you were right. He doesn't feel the same way. I was wrong. I don't think I can handle it...being rejected by him. I knew I said I'd love him even if he doesn't feel the same way, but it's a lot harder than I thought...Im stupid huh? I didn't know it'd hurt this much...is this how it feels to be rejected?"

Minhyuk dropped his umbrella and pulled me into a warm embrace. He whispered sweet words next to my ear.

"Ssh. Im here. I'll be here for you. I love you. You have me to be there for you. I'll make you forget him. If you want. I'll be waiting with my arms ready to give you my love."

I just rested my head against Minhyuk's chest and listened to his rapid heart beats. It was comforting.

This used to be like Luhan's...but it's not him.

It's Minhyuk that's hugging me right now.

It's Minhyuk.

He's so warm...

I looked up at Minhyuk.

"I...I want to try."

I'll end peoples misery right now....for now.