I was walking through my classes, casually holding my books. Music was pounding through my hearphones. I scurried past the other students to go to my destined building. I met up with Minhyuk and we walked away to English class. It'd be my last class for today. 

We went inside and Kai was surrounded by the usual girls. He flirted carelessly, and even went far enough to run his hand back and forth down one chick's bare leg. I cleared my throat and shooed one girl off my seat,"Move it or lose it." 

She scoffed before moving back to her seat, as did the rest of the girls. Kai shot me a look, he looked upset. 

"Thanks." He rolled his eyes,"For ruining the chance of me getting a girlfriend." 

I shrugged and patted his broad shoulder,"No problem good old friend of mine." Minhyuk laughed and sat on my other side. 

The teacher came in class and soon the long lecture started. As usual, my mind was on a different level, cloud nine kind of thing, but mine was all about Luhan and that y stuff. Just kidding.

From time to time I'd take notes, then doodle, then day dream, and then doze off into slumber land. By the time I knew it, Kai was shaking me awake. 

"Sumin, come on, class is over." He said in a hushed tone. 

I slowly squinted my eyes and looked around. My sight was hazy at first, but then it became clearer. Kai was right, more than half the students were gone. A few were still there, packing all their stuff in their bags. 

Minhyuk was knocked out too, and I slapped his head,"Minhyuk-ah, class is over."

He muttered something about irresistable lips, and woke up. He rubbed his eyes and looked at me,"Lips..."

Kai and I looked at him, then nodded,"Uh-huh. Let's go."

 

We left the class together. The sun was almost about to set, but it was still pretty light outside. I yawned, I felt so drowsy lately. The three of us walked toward the parking lot. Minhyuk and Kai waited along with me for Luhan to come pick me up. I leaned against Kai and started to doze off again.

Minhyuk shook my shoulder,"Yah, are you ok? You look a bit tired."

"Yeah, probably tired from reading some books for my new research paper in history. I had a lot to do recently too." I explained and yawned. 

Kai lips curved downward,"You should be careful. Don't overwhelm yourself too much."

I yawned again and nodded,"Yeah, I will. Don't worry." I smiled at them both.

I saw Luhan driving closer and he parked right in front of us. Minhyuk and Kai both walked me to the car and helped me inside. I looked at them both,"Need rides?"

They both shook their heads.

"I don't want to impose." Kai smiled.

"Meaning, we don't want to ." Minhyuk smirked. Kai rolled his eyes, but didn't deny the fact.

Luhan laughed,"Come on, get in. I don't want my friends to walk home." 

Minhyuk and Kai sighed and got in the back seats.

I looked at them and smiled,"Hey~!"

"Hi~!" They replied in high-pitched voices and batted their lashes. The whole car became silent, then it was filled with our laughs. 

"You guys are so weird." Luhan chuckled and shook his head. 

Minhyuk, Kai, and I smiled,"We know."

 

Once we arrived home after dropping off Minhyuk and Kai, I made Luhan make me tacos and eggs. After we were reading books on the bed. I was laying against Luhan, he had his arm wrapped around me, while his other held up his book. Then he started to rub his thumb against my collarbone. 

I let out a giggle and squirmed a bit,"Luhan, that tickles." 

I could feel him smirk and he started to tickled my sides,"Does this tickle you too?"

"Y-yah! I won't be...aha responsible to what ahahaha happens if you k-keep tickling me!" I spoke between my laughs. 

Luhan just laughed and started to tickle me some more. My insides were twisting with pain and I couldn't even make a sound anymore, since it was way too exciting. 

Anymore and I felt like I would die, so I quickly made a run for it. I could feel Luhan's steps quicken right after me. I screamed in delight as I could feel him right behind me. I felt his fingers graze my arm, trying to snatch me, but I quickly dodged me. The sudden turn in direction tangled my feet with the rug, causing me to fall hard smack on the wooden floor. 

I groaned. I felt a huge pain in my abdominal area and I let out a whimper. I wiggled my toes and felt my feet were ok. I cried out in pain when I sat up. 

Luhan gasped,"S-sumin!" Instantly by my side he kneels behind me and let's me rest on his legs. I still feel the pain, which makes me cry. 

"L-Luhan...it hurts." I whimper softly. I could hear Luhan breathing heavily and I try to look up at him. He looks rushed and he quickly carries me in his arms.

I hug his neck and cry out in pain again,"What's going on?"

"S-shh baby. I-I don't know...hold on. You're bleeding a lot. We're going to the hospital." He says to quickly, I could hardly make out his words.

I feel something wet between my legs. Luhan rushes out the apartment and puts me in the back seat. The pain doesnt subside, but it's manageable to handle. 

Luhan rushes to the front seat and he starts to drive like a maniac. He swerves the car from different lanes, good thing there wasn't that much traffic I guess.

Im confused, I don't know whats wrong. We soon arrive at the hospital. Luhan's at my door and he carries me out into the emergency room.

I furrow my brows,"Luhan, what are we doing here? Im not that hurt..." I whisper to him.

A doctor come to my side. Luhan and the doctor are talking so fast, I don't know whats going on. Next thing I know is that Im being set on a gurney and nurses are pushing me away from Luhan. 

"L-Luhan! Where are  you going?! Where are they taking me?" I yell and I try to kick the nurses away. I sit up and my eyes widen. Blood is covering my legs up to my white socks. My breathing quickens and I feel the throbbing in my ears. "L-LUHAN!"

I look back at him with tears running down my face. Im scared. He looks at me with a mixed expression of fear and confusion. We're both scared. 

 

Hours after undergoing 'tests', I was finally in a room. I already had a hunch what was going on, then the doctor revealed my hunch was correct.

"Im very sorry to inform you, Miss Song, that you had a miscarriage as a result from your fall. It seems you were 1o weeks pregnant with your baby. Please come again for a another appointment to make sure everything in your uterus is expelled from your body, just a prevention from infections. Again, I am sorry for your loss." The doctor had a small frown on his lips before exiting my room.

I felt empty. I was laying on my side, silently crying. My hands were shaking and I hugged my stomach. 

"Baby..." I cried softly, cradling my flat stomach. "Mommy's sorry...If only mommy knew you were here, she would've done anything to prevent this from happening. Im so sorry baby." 

The door opened. 

"Sumin..." Luhan called out. 

I didn't answer him. I had a baby. I didn't know I had a baby! I had a baby, and now he...she...is gone. My baby is gone. 

Luhan came to my side. He saw my crying face, and I saw his. He knows. I held out my hands to him and he came to my side and enveloped me into a big hug. This time, I cried out in misery. 

"The baby...our baby!" I screamed. 

Luhan was crying along with me, and he squeezed me tightly,"I-I know baby...I know." 

"Our baby is gone!" I sobbed.

Luhan choked,"I-I know."

All we did was cry for our loss. Cry for our baby. 

A part of me died. 

 

Weeks passed. I wasn't the same. I didn't go to school. I didn't want to eat. I just stayed in bed. Cried. Then slept. Donghae appa had to come watch me, just to make sure I wouldn't do anything stupid. He'd come to feed me and make sure I was drinking enough liquids. Everyone came to visit me. The boys, B.A.P, Btob, Hana, and even Jihye. Came by with tiny smiles or awkward encouragements. Nothing was the same. Especially with Luhan.

One afternoon, after he came back from school, Luhan came into the room. Tired and beat. I was laying down on my side, hugging a pillow. Luhan went to my side and bent down to kiss my lips, but I avoided him. 

Luhan sighed and went to change,"Sumin, you need to move on." 

"How can I?! Our baby died! How can I move on from that?" I wiped my tears and sat up to face him. Luhan came out the closet, half as he put on his wife beater. 

"It's been almost a month Sumin. Our baby is gone, off to a better place. It's not healthy for you to be depressed." Luhan tiredly sat on his side of the bed, his back facing me. 

I started to get angry. Does he not care for our baby? He doesn't understand! 

" It's not easy to just move on! It felt like he just died only yesterday! I feel so empty and dead! For crying out loud, I didn't even know I was nine weeks pregnant! " I shook my head.

I saw Luhan clench his fist into a tight ball.

"I can't just simply do that! I CAN'T! You just don't understand the pain Im going through Luhan. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" I yelled and hit him with my pillow. 

Luhan swiftly stood up and angrily faced me,"OF COURSE I UNDERSTAND SUMIN! He was my child too! How could I not be affected by his death? It's not easy, but we have to move on!" Luhan breathed heavily and his chest was moving rapidly. 

"It's your fault." I whispered. 

Luhan's expression dropped,"...What?"

"IT'S YOUR FAULT!" I screamed angrily,"It's your fault he died! If your didn't tickle me and chase after me, I wouldn't have tripped, and our baby would've lived! HE COULD'VE LIVED!" 

"I c-can't believe you said that." Luhan whispered, shocked. "I can't believe you're blaming me for our baby's death."

I covered my mouth and cried. I couldn't belive it either. I just blamed Luhan. It's not true. Im horrible. Luhan would never hurt me, nor our baby, if he knew we were going to have a baby. Im a horrible mother and girlfriend for saying such a thing! I didn't mean too, it just came out from my anger.

I shook my head and cried in my hands. I mourned. For everything. I felt the bed move and heard the door open. I looked up and saw Luhan's figure leaving.

N-NO! Don't go Luhan! I quickly crawled out the bed after him.

"W-WAIT! LUHAN DON'T GO!" I cried out for him. 

He stopped.

"Im sorry! Im so sorry Luhan! I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it!" I was still sitting on the bed, facing him,"Please don't leave me! Don't leave me too! Please don't leave me like our baby! I don't know what I'd do if I lost you too! Im sorry!" I begged and sobbed, dropping to the floor, at the bedroom door frame. 

I looked down at the blurry floor,"Don't leave me too." I whispered in agony. 

Glancing back up, I saw Luhan run back to me and hugged me tightly. I cried in his shoulder,"Im sorry Luhan! Im so sorry!"

Luhan pulled away from me and wiped my tears, when he too was crying,"No, it's fine. I know you didn't mean it. I hate seeing you like this. Torturing yourself. I hate seeing you so depressed. I don't know what to do to make you go back to the way you were before...I just want you to smile and be happy." 

I wiped his tears and cracked a small smile,"I'll be better. I just need you beside me."

Luhan kissed my forehead,"We'll get through this together." I just closed my eyes and believed Luhan was right. We'll get through it. As long as you're with me, and we're together, I know everything will be alright.