“Get off my sight, Lee Ji Eun. I don’t want to see you anymore. Go, flirt with other boys, and think about other matters. Die, die, Jieun. I don’t want to see you. Get. Off. My. Sight. Understand?”

Jieun was more than surprised when Myungsoo curses at her. Even in the old days, when all they could ever done was fighting, Myungsoo has never once curses her. He got grumpy a lot, day by day, that almost every day he got grumpy. But truly, it has never happen before. He has never cursed at her. She wonders how much has she hurt him, how big her mistakes were. Although it might have been wrong of her, avoiding him lately, his action wasn’t something reasonable.

The boys soon got to their defend state, all defending Jieun at once. It will be a lie if she even parted her lips and said she’s okay. Although Jieun might have the ability to understand him, she can’t help but get hurt. It hurts a lot, to be cursed by someone you loved a lot. It’s like being hated by someone you dearly loved. Jieun wanted to calm the atmosphere, but this painful heart of hers, she doubt she would be able to do it. The boys would soon get into a fight, and she could only hopes something would show up on time.

“L, what are you saying?!” Sungyeol yelled, angered by his fellow words.

“L, Jieun is your girlfriend! How could your cursed at her? You’re being childish! What’s the problem with you?” the eldest cried.

“L, calm yourself. Get your mind straight. Apologize.” Dongwoo added.

“Hyung, how could you do something like that to noona? Do you want her to die?” Sungjong eyes widen, with tears started to form as he held Jieun’s hands tightly.

“Try to say it one more time and you’ll end up all beaten up.” Hoya threatens.

“Tsked, her? Do I have to care about her? She’s nothing, I’m bored. Get her off my sight.”

Hoya soon stood up, angered by Myungsoo’s words. Dongwoo tried to prevent worse things to happen but failed. Even Sunggyu has to stand up and calm the younger, but also ended up with a complete failure. The choding Sungyeol -who also failed to control his angered- stand up and grabbed Myungsoo’s collar. Hoya gritted his teeth, clenching his fist like a wild beast ready to charge its prey after a long winter.

“How dare you!” Hoya yelled.

“No, no, Hoya calm down.” Jieun eventually step up, trying to calm the atmosphere.

Being the only lady among the boys, she has the capability to handle them well. It’s easier, since they will have to listen to her. Their pride as gentleman would be hurt if they failed to listen to her. Of course, all of them tried hard to protect that image, except one person, Kim Myungsoo. Rather than a gentleman pride, his cold attitude has transformed his image to a bad boy. He cares less about being called gentleman.

“Calm down, Jieun? Don’t you hear what he had just said?”

“All of you, just stop and listen!” She finally slammed the table, surprising everyone but succeeded in stoping the motion.

“Tsk, save by a girl, how pitiful.” Sungyeol scoffed, letting Myungsoo go.

“I will just go, he needed sometime alone. I don’t know anymore, I don’t care. Just stop fighting; I don’t even want to recall things he had just said.” Jieun stated, with pain clearly reflected from her words.

“No, stay.” Hoya exclaimed, it turns out to be an order rather than a polite request.

“I will be fine. Let him fix things.”

“No, I said sit.”

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

“You know, prom is coming next week right? I don’t think you’ll have any partner by then. Just look at him, I’m sure he’s going to curse you even more. Why don’t you go out with the five of us, and also Woohyun. I don’t mind.”

“Wha- What? The six of you, how could I?”

“Or just with one of us. It will be fine.”

She doesn’t even have the time to reply Hoya’s offer. Myungsoo suddenly got up from his seat and grabbed her harshly by the wrists. She yelped in pain when he grabbed her with all his strength, his fingertips were colder than usual. She even flinched when their skin comes in contact. He suddenly dragged her, despite the struggle she has made and soon, the two disappear from the boys’ sight.

“She will be fine.”

“They will be able to fix it.”

As usual, he dragged her all the way to the backyard. Thankfully it was empty, without Woohyun or Jiyeon. If the two were there, Jieun might be in bigger troubled. Woohyun won’t have the second thought of sparing Myungsoo. Punches would suddenly fly, filling the air. Jiyeon would only made the situation worser, the stubborn girl would only added curses in the air, rather than helping Jieun to stop them.

He forces her to sit at the bench, crashing her body harshly to the wooden bench that she yelped in pain. He took a seat next to her, without spilling a single word. It was quite scary that she keeps glancing at him. She wasn’t daring enough to look at him in the eye, when his dark orbs are surrounded by the pitch-black-darkness of anger and hate. Jieun remain silent, while glancing at him once in a while.

It was both of them, who made a huge deal of mistakes that the air turns out to be very chilly and tense. Jieun could hardly breathe because of the suffocating atmosphere. It feels like Myungsoo was giving her a huge tension, pressuring her. His gaze didn’t turned warmer even after minutes and hours pass by. He stays still, remaining silent and cold without the will to break the ice-cold atmosphere.

After what feels like ages, the ice slowly melted. Although it might took quite a long time to melt the ice-cold atmosphere, rather than heating it up, Myungsoo has been freezing it for quite sometime until it can’t get colder. He offers her a can of coffee, despite the fact that she hates coffee. Rather than offering it to her politely, he simply throws it to her without any warning. It ended up hitting her head, followed by her yelping in pain.

It rolls to the ground; Jieun was too busy rubbing her forehead. It can left bruises, since the edge of the can hit hear head quite hard. Myungsoo might not have done it in purpose; he may even use only a very little amount of strength to throw it. But well, it still ended up hurting her head so badly. Thankfully, it didn’t hit her face or else she might go home as if she has been beaten up.

“Idiot, you’re so clumsy.” Myungsoo bend down to take the rolling can and open it for her.

Jieun was still busy rubbing her aching forehead while pouting her lips. She sighs again, slightly irritated by Myungsoo’s attitude. She’s holding it all or else she might truly explode. She might have been able to hold it a little longer if he didn’t let a stainless steel can hit her head quite hard. It hurts, it aches, and it might even leave quite a bruise on her forehead.

“Let me see it.” He suddenly turns soft, handing her the now-opened can, while looking at her forehead.

Shy, she couldn’t help but slightly nodded while hanging her head low. It was quite embarrassing, to see him taking care of her. She could feel his hot breath on her face, touching her milky white skin. He slap her hand away, for him to be able to see her injured forehead. She could see the rush of guilt in his eyes.

“I’m fine.” Jieun looked away, avoiding his gaze.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.” He lean back, folding his arm while looking away. He keeps scoffing.

“Apology not accepted.”

“What? Why?”

“How could you say sorry with that attitude? Apologize nicely to people.”

“Tsk, okay then.”

“Okay then.”

He keeps avoiding her gaze, folding his arms. The two remains silent without any will to start any conversation. Again, he has too much pride to be stepped on. Although being with Jieun has slowly changed that bad side of him. Yet apologizing for something he had been wronged is hard for him. It’s hard to accept the fact that he’s the one at fault. But he finally gave up, after the long silence that slowly suffocated him.

He let out a faint sighs, while shutting his eyes closed. He suddenly pull Jieun’s arm and cupped her cheek. He let his dark orbs gazes to her warms orbs. She looked quite surprised by his sudden action but soon let his warmth to take over her body. His ice-cold eyes slowly melted, as he sunk himself deeper inside her eyes. Jieun could feel the rush of guilt that slowly took over his heart, regretting of whatever he had just done.

“I’m sorry, Jieun. I’m sorry.” He seriously said it, with his deep-tone of voice.

“Apology accepted.” Jieun smiled, reaching his hair and ruffling it.

“I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have cursed at you. I was just… being grumpy these days.”

“Fine. I forgive you. You should stop being childish, being unreasonable.”

“What? I’m childish? Lee Ji Eun, do you know whose fault is this? It’s yours. Where have you been? You keep avoiding me, as if you have someone else inside your mind, taking over your soul.”

“Cheesy.”

“No, I’m serious. You’re neglecting me as if you have loved someone else.”

“Really?” Jieun puppy eyes started to appear.

It’s not like she wasn’t aware of the changes that slowly grown inside her, separating the two of them away. She’s well aware that the changes will soon create a gap and the consequences of it as well as the gap itself could already be felt by the two. Myungsoo was definitely upset about her creating the gap, something she unconsciously yet also consciously done. She has lots of thoughts inside her head, and it’s impossible to share it with him, as much as she wanted him to know. She will keep it secret for the time being, until she feels ready.

“Don’t you feel it? You’re not paying attention to me; you keep ignoring me and avoiding me.” Myungsoo stated, deepening his tone of voice.

“I’m sorry. It’s just… I have lots of…”

“Thoughts. I know you’re troubled, but why don’t you tell me. Aren’t we close enough?”

She bit her lips, meeting a dead end. She was trapped with no way out, she felt bad for not being able to share it with him but sharing it might cause their relationships to be shattered apart. Honestly, even she wasn’t ready to hear the news about her own departure, no body was ready. If it will ever become possible, many wanted to hold on to her, gripping her tightly so she won’t take a step further. Yet her mother is truly something else that Jieun has given up on other choices easily.

“I’m sorry.”

“Keep it to yourself, tell me when you’re ready.”

“Thank you.”

“So… how about prom?”

Her bittersmile soon fade away after hearing the word prom. Well, as you know she’s a girl, it’s every girl’s dreams to be asked out by the person they loved for a prom. Even Jieun had that dreams, to be asked out by Myungsoo to a prom. Its winter now, and soon the end of semester will come. A year will passed by and the New Year will be the marked of the beginning. The thought of dancing with him causes her imagination to go wild and finally blushing madly.

“Prom?”

“Yeah, you know, it’s winter.”

Jieun knows it; she was once one of the comitee in charge for prom preparation. It was nice, preparing nice decorations, beverages and foods, and also creating the romantic atmosphere. A girl touch always worked well with everything that needs beauty, girls always radiates through their unique charms of beauty. She enjoys it a lot, preparing proms and watching it going well. She can’t stop herself remembering the lovable gazes, the love in the air. She wanted to experienced one but have yet to be given the chance to do so. This year, she would like to feel love, with him, with Kim Myungsoo- the man she loved.

She remembers how she worked hard, fulfilling requests from girls who wanted to wear the best outfit for proms. She was in junior high that time, but the unnies just went to her, asking her to design some outfit or at least pick their outfits out, sorting them so they could looked the best for their boyfriends. It’s undeniable that girls would look prettier with the best dresses, prettier with make-up, and also some accecories. Jieun enjoyed it a lot, especially when the ba-thump ba-thump feelings suddenly come to her, the curiousity- wanting to know how the boys would think once they saw their girlfriends, would they be happy? Would the effort finally be paid off?

Although she used to be a single young lady, carefreely hanging around without a boyfriend, she too has the rush to dress up as the best. She remembers how long she prepared for the proms, despite knowing that she will ended up partying alone. Woohyun asked her out once, only to be rejected by her, followed by a whole round of nagging and mehrong. Jiyeon herself, usually become too busy to be asked out, she will be busy searching for hot gossips during promp. Well, itc can’t be help, she’s the gossip queen.

“Yeah, prom. By the end of this month, we will hold a prom. Have anyone asked you out?”

“Yeah, I do now. It’s going to be our first then.”

“First? You never dance with other boys? How about Woohyun?”

“Juniors are prohibited to date, remember? We could dance during proms, but most of us will end up doing the forbidden- dating. That’s why I’ve never… dance.”

“Ah yeah, I do remember being prohibited to date.”

“Well, its safety reason, isn’t it? When will it be held?”

“31^st of December. Many of us wanted it to be held on Christmas Eve, but well… it’s… many of us wanted it to be held on New Year Eve, with romantic as the reason of it.”

“Well, we can see fireworks then. Wasn’t it pretty? I would love to see one, especially with the others.”

It took her a great courage to be able to say the simple sentence. Breathing suddenly turns out to be hard and her lip suddenly freezes. 31^st December, he had no idea how the day will change their whole life. Something is going to be missing by then, she will lose a great part of her hearts, and she wonders if he would feel the same. She may got hurt when the day arrived, and she will spent no effort of healing it. Will it be the same for him? Will his heart ache? She wanted to know, yet if the answer turns out to be yes, she will forever be guilty.

“Jieun-ah, have you got any partner?”

Her mind has already been blown away, that it is hard to determind which is dreams and reality. She needs to tell him or else things might get worse but how? Even breathing seems very hard and her overwhelming tense heartbeats almost eat her up. Prom, it will be impossible for her to attend the prom. That day, her life will change. The New Year Eve, her old life would be thrown away, she will be beginning her new life. Her diary, even it will change. The world, the scenery, the person, it all will changes.

“N- No. I haven’t.”

“Good then.”

“Of course, I haven’t! But… Sungyeol wouldn’t mind going to the prom with me.” Jieun started to around, in case she got too tense to continue a serious conversation.

“Yah! I’m your boyfriend; you should go to the prom with me. How could you say that? You’re not supposed to be dreaming of another guy.”

“I can’t help it, can I? You’re a meanie; I prefer some choding like Sungyeol or our sweet maknae Sungjong. Hoya wasn’t bad either, he has abs, I’m sure he can protect me unlike your fluffy stomach.” Jieun mehrong.

“I thought my apology was accepted.”

“Yes, your apology is accepted. I’m not angry with you, but still… you’re a meanie. I prefer going out with someone else.”

“Tsk, well then. You can date others; just forget about your boyfriend.”

“See, you’re such a meanie; an old-meanie-grumpy boyfriend. Maybe Woohyun would ask me out, he’s nice.”

“Yah! Stop calling me grumpy. I’m your boyfriend, just go out with me. I could get jealous too; you do know how scary I am once I’m jealous.”

“Stop calling me yah! Stop being grumpy! You’re such a silly guy. Of course I won’t go out with others except you, I have a boyfriend already!” Jieun chuckled, stating that she already had a boyfriend.

“Okay then. You will have to go out with me to the prom,” he smiles before kneeling by her side, “Lee Ji Eun, will you go to the prom with me?”

“I will.” Even with much hesitation, she could say it firmly.

“Nice.” He grins, satisfied at her answer.

Thud!

Something hard bumps her shoulder, putting an end to her never ending thoughts. It startled her that the blurry vision in front of her turn clearer. She has been spacing out eversince their conversation stops. Myungsoo was enjoying the winter breeze, something weird, but it seems he loved it a lot. Jieun was somewhere else, in the la la land, thinking about things and stuff. Maybe she’s a bit too blunt, a bit too oblivious, that Myungsoo could tell she’s troubled.

She looked to her left, only to notice Myungsoo’s head leaning against her shoulder. Her never ending thoughts was just about to begin when it was suddenly cut off by his snores. She smiled, seeing how peaceful he is, sleeping. He’s even snoring, he must be tried then. It might have not been scientifically proven, but she believes when one’s snores they must be very tired. She brushes his messy hair, trying to fix it properly while gazing at his features. Ah, it’s too much for her. It’s not her first time seeing him, yet her heart keeps on wanting to burst each time she saw him.

“Jieun, don’t leave me. Don’t die. Please stay by my side.” He murmurs.

She could only sighs, a faint sighs that gives off a desperate and miserable feelings. She’s truly desperate. How could she ever tell him that she’s leaving? How could she ever tell him that she can’t be with him anymore? What he had just stated just now, it was something he stated out of regrets, his regrets for cursing at her. It’s nothing more. It’s because he’s guilty that he said that. She wanted it to be real, she wanted to hold on, a bit longer, and a bit more. She wanted him to say it from his heart, as she will have to leave soon enough.

After a long silence, she chuckled, hearing the bell that rings. She will have to miss out some classes, with Myungsoo again. However, if smile could ever last longer, then she’s being cursed by bad luck. It only took one second, before she glances at Myungsoo and her smile to fade away, blown by the wind. She clapped her hand together before rubbing them together for some warmth. She took out a hot pack from her pocket, giving it to Myungsoo, since his fingertips tends to got very cold.

“I’m sorry, Myungsoo. I won’t be attending prom.” She whispers.