I spent the next 2 sleepless nights think about Jongin’s confession. So much had happened and I couldn’t make up my mind as to what I should do about the situation. As a friend, I felt guilty for not telling him the entire truth about what happened that night. At the same time though, I was scared that things would change between us if he did find out about what had happened.

On the other hand, I also had second thoughts about my problem Luhan too. Should I, or should I not tell him about Jongin? Every night, I stayed up, pondering about these questions. Whenever I did manage to fall asleep, a nightmare would always haunt me. In every dream, either Jongin or Luhan left me, sometimes both.

Eventually, I gave in and began seeking advice from those that I trusted most. Ji Eun and I were sitting in a cafe one day on our lunch break, waiting for Chanyeol and Baekhyun to join us.

When they arrived, I told the three of them everything that happened, even filling in Chanyeol from the very beginning.

“Wait! He kissed you?!” Baekhyun exclaimed after the story. “And not just once but several times?!”

I nodded sheepishly as I waited for everyone else’s reaction.

The next person to speak cleared his throat, letting out a deep rumble. I looked up to find a grinning Chanyeol....grinning?

“I KNEW IT!” He yelled, earning a few annoyed glances from those around the shop. He mumbled a quick sorry before lowering his voice.

“I knew all along that Jongin had a thing for you. I mean, you were the only one that dared to talk back to him and you guys always argue with each other and he keeps bugging you to get your attention and I just knew it all along!”

“For how long now?” I asked him.

“Are you kidding me? He’s been interested in you since....maybe even before you and Luhan-hyung started going out.” Chanyeol replied.

“He kept twirling his phone in his hand as if expecting a call even though I already told him that you didn’t have his number. And then after you and Luhan got together he was all cranky and stuff and acting like a total JERK! You should see his face when he sees you and Luhan-hyung together.”

“That long?” Chanyeol nodded. I sighed, was I really that blind?

“Chanyeol-ah, I don’t really think that’s helping Yoonae’s situation right now.” Baekhyun said. I let out another depressed breath as I felt the guilt piling up. So Jongin wasn’t lying when he said he liked me first...

“What are you going to do about it Yoonae?” Ji Eun asked.

“I really don’t know.” I groaned in frustration.

“Can I tell you what I think?” Baekhyun asked. I nodded desperately. I needed something, anything.

“Well....Jongin doesn’t remember anything right? And you’re not supposed to know anything. If he didn’t confess to you yet, then I suppose that he wanted to keep it a secret for his own reasons. Maybe he’s just not ready to face you directly yet.”

“Regardless, you weren’t supposed to know. Sure, he let it slip, but he wasn’t of his right mind. If he wants to confess, he eventually will. I think you should just leave it as it is.” Baekhyun finished. I sighed and nodded, taking in what he said. The guilt was still there, but the way he put it kind of made me feel better.

Suddenly Ji Eun gasped in horror. “What if he does confess? Yoonae, you aren’t going to give the guy a chance are you?! He’s such a bastard!”

It was a simple answer, as long as I had Luhan, I doubt that Jongin would ever confess to me. But what if he did?

“I don’t want to think about that right now.” I admitted. “I’m too tired to add that to my list of things I have to think about.”

“Okay.” Ji Eun said, backing off slightly. “As long as you don’t date him. I swear to God Yoonae, if he makes another dirty move on you, I will personally kick his .”

I smiled slightly at her. “Thanks Ji Eun.”

“Oh! I will too!” Chanyeol joined in with a giant grin. I laughed at his eagerness.

“Thanks Chanyeol.”

“You’re welcome!” He replied cheerfully.

There was one thing that was still nagging me though...

“What do I do about Luhan?”

The three of them all looked at each other, seeming to communicate telepathically before they all spoke up at the same time.

“Don’t tell him.”

---

I felt my eyes slowly drooping close as I rested my head on my forearms and tried to pay attention to the screen in front of me.

“You look tired, you should go to sleep now.” Luhan’s voice said over the webcam mic.

I immediately snapped my eyes opened and panicked.

“No no. I’m fine, I swear.” I didn’t want him to leave, it’s been weeks since I had last seen him.

He sighed. “Yoonae, it’s almost 3am already. Don’t you have classes tomorrow too?”

I yawned but shook my head. “I can skip tomorrow or something. The morning class isn’t important anyways.”

“But you missed so many days of school already for work.” He insisted.

“I didn’t, most of it was during the weekend or summer break anyways. I also got the work ahead of time to complete.” I told him.

In all honesty, I was completely worn out from the day. I had to stay up up late last night because there was some kind of music festival that EXO-K went to and I had to work. I was late waking up, missed my first lecture because I couldn’t make it on time and the door was locked, and then my prof gave me a long lecture after my last class about being more consistent with my work.

To top it all off, I had another late night today because some GENIUS decided to book EXO-K in for a photoshoot and interview. The producers and other staff members there were complaining and giving me crap about how to do my work when it was obvious that I knew how to do the boys’ makeup better than they knew how to tie their shoelaces.

I let out a huge breath of frustration as I thought back about my day, successfully alarming my boyfriend on the other end.

“You okay love?” Luhan asked in concern. I sighed, finally giving in to my protesting eyes.

“I’m fine....can we talk on the phone? I don’t think my eyes can stay open any longer.”

“Shouldn’t you just go to sleep?”

“Please Luhan?” I begged. He sighed and assured me he would call me before we both shut off our computers.

“I don’t get why you’re still staying up if you’re so tired. Love, just go to sleep alright?” He said as I laid back on my bed, pulling my covers comfortably around myself before closing my eyes.

“I want to hear your voice...I haven’t seen you in so long...” I admitted.

“We can talk tomorrow or something.”

“Luhan, please? Just do this for me?”

He sighed. “If I knew that letting you go back would make you sacrifice yourself like this, I would have made you stay here with me.”

I chuckled sleepily. “You can’t keep me away from here very long, Ji Eun would hunt you down.”

“I’d like to see her try.” He replied playfully before we relapsed into another stage of silence.

I almost fell asleep when his soft voice woke me up again.

“I miss you.” He said softly. “I miss you so much.”

“I do too.” I whispered, barely able to find my own voice anymore. “Luhan, when will you come back?”

“I don’t know ,love, I really don’t know. Neither Kris nor the managers have mentioned anything.”

A sudden feeling of emptiness washed through me. I curled myself together, clutching my blanket closer to me with one hand while the other one held onto my cellphone for dear life.

“I miss you so much Luhan.” I said, feeling tears prick the corners of my eyes. I told myself not to cry but I couldn’t help it anymore. When I let a sniffle slip, his sad voice immediately came over the line.

“I’ll be back soon Yoonae-ah, I promise.” He paused for a bit before continuing, I was already crying too much to dare speak.

“Stay strong Yoonae...I’ll be back soon. I miss you so much right now....I love you.”

“I love you too.” I whispered back.

I heard him hum a familiar melody on the other end followed by a few lyrics. I knew what was coming.

That night, I clutched my phone close to me, listening to the voice of my beloved as he sang warmly and very gradually, lulled me to sleep.

---

One week later, I was over at the EXO dorm, waiting for everyone to get ready before we headed for the set of To The Beautiful You. I was making myself at home on Jongin’s bed when said owner walked in and joined me.

“You ready for today?” I asked him as I focused on my phone. It suddenly vibrated in hand indicating another text message.

From: Luhan
I have a surprise for you.

From: Yoonae
What is it?

From: Luhan
You’ll see.

I physically pouted and put my phone aside, too dejected to pry Luhan for anymore answers. Ever since my last phone call with him a week ago, I only missed him more and more.

“Yoonae? YOONAE!” I jumped at the sound of Jongin’s voice right next to me. “You ask me a question and then you space out, thanks a lot.”

I laughed at his expression, it was somewhere between an angry scowl and a disappointed pout. I couldn’t decide if I found it funny or cute. One thing was for sure, it wasn’t the slightest bit intimidating.

“Sorry Jongin, I didn’t notice.” His pout became more accentuated.

“You didn’t notice that I was here or that I was talking to you?”

I laughed again and pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry, I was preoccupied.”

He scoffed. “By Luhan right?” Contrary to his ‘angry’ expression, he wrapped his arms around me as well.

“Yeah, he said something about a surprise but he won’t tell me what it is.” I looked up at him. “Do you know what it is?”

He shook his head. I nodded and went back to thinking about my boyfriend. After feeling the familiar emptiness form in my stomach again, I snuggled myself closer to Jongin.

“You know Yoonae, you can talk to me if there’s anything bothering you.” I flinched and looked up at him.

“N-nothing’s wrong though Jongin.”

He frowned. “Don’t tell me there’s nothing wrong when it’s obvious you’re not happy right now. You miss him don’t you?”

“Jongin, can we not talk about-”

“I don’t even know why you keep up with it all, it’s obvious that you’re lonely here. Luhan’s just being selfish-”

“KIM JONGIN!” I yelled, effectively cutting him off. I shoved him away from me, effectively pissed by his accusing words.

His cold expression instantly turned into a softer one. “I’m sorry Yoonae. I didn’t mean to get you mad. I just wanted you to hear the truth.”

“It’s not Luhan’s fault his job forces him to be away from me. You have no right to accuse him of anything.” I scolded, glaring at him.

“I know. I’m sorry Yoonae.” He sighed. “All I wanted to do was to make you feel better. This just slipped and-”

“I know.” I told him, hugging him lightly again. “You’re just worried about me. I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“No. You shouldn’t be apologizing.”

“But-”

“Yoonae, you really miss him don’t you?”

I sighed and nodded. “I’m miss him so much Jongin. He’s never here when I need him and I don’t blame him for that, I know he’s not happy about it either. It’s just...sometimes I wish he was there to hold me you know? I’m not asking for fancy dates or anything. I just want him to be there.”

“I look at Ji Eun and Chanyeol sometimes and I can’t help but envy them because they look so happy together. No matter how busy they are, they always seem to be by each other’s side and it’s something that I really miss you know? Don’t get me wrong, Luhan is an amazing boyfriend, I could never ask for anything more of him but it does get lonely sometimes.”

I felt Jongin pull me closer to him as tears started to fall from my eyes again. “Don’t cry.” He whispered. “Silly, it’s not your fault, don’t cry.”

I couldn’t hold it in anymore though. “I miss him Jongin. I miss him so much.”

Within seconds, I was a bawling messing, clinging onto him for dear life. I heard him sigh.

“Fine don’t listen to me.” He said. I felt him kiss the top of my head gently as he held me securely against his chest. “Let it all out Yoonae. I promise, I’ll always be here for you.”

I didn’t know how long it took for me to finally stop but just as I did, there was a knock on the door and in came Luhan.

Wait....

LUHAN?

I quickly shoved myself away from Jongin and without a word, I ran into my boyfriend’s arms, eyes filling with fresh tears despite the fact that I thought they had all dried already.

He instinctively wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead.

“I love you.” He said before I lifted my head up to look at him. He seemed slimmer than before, was he not eating properly? Did he not get enough sleep?

I felt him trap one of my run away tears with his thumb. “Silly, don’t cry.” He told me.

I found myself smiling within seconds as I leaned up towards him. His lips met mine half way and just like that, everything was better.

“Surprise.” He said before taking my lips once again.

“I love you.” He whispered when we parted.

“I love you too Luhan, so so much.”

He smiled and pulled me against him once again. Just like that, everything was perfect.

---

A/N: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII EVERYONE!

I actually don't know what to write....

Oh, sorry about about the rather heated topic last update. I just had to let some steam out. Although I am disappointed with the fans (not all of them of course, just the ones that cheated their way through), I am happy for EXO, BAP, and Busker Busker. END OF STORY!

Moving on, Hallyucon is in Toronto on Sunday! I don't know if I have any Torontonian readers but....I can't wait =] I still haven't decided who to cosplay as though...I might not even do it but maybe...I was thinking being Luhan in the History video with the hoodie, cap and baggy sweatpants. Joke is....I'm missing the cap and baggy sweatpants. To go...or not to go Chrismtas shopping?

Anyways I hope you guys liked the update! More to come soon. Promise~

Much love,

-Ryeowook, Sungmin, Taemin, Kai, Luhan, Chen, Youngmin, Kwangmin, Baekhyun and Sehun's Wifey