It felt good having to fall in love though I have never seen him before. But that's okay because his presence was all I need. I have been seeing him-- hold on. His car [!] but that does not stop me from thinking that he is always there for me. I may sound like an idiot at some point but I realise his car parked outside every evening. 

He would always welcome me by revving up his engine, as though purring to me like a cat. At first, I was not quite comfortable with it but as time goes by, I would just simply just look over and give him a smile. Ouh yes, he also has another habit. He would flicker his headlights if I didn't smile. So, when he does that, I would just wave at him making sure that I knew he was there

How I know he's a guy? Well, of course at first I didn't know and to be quite honest, I was rather freaked out, thinking that maybe it was a girl but all of that disappeared when I saw him out of his car one day. Well, I didn't really get to see his face but his silhouette was enough to make me go crazy and dream about him. At first I was spraying my flowers with water, just a normal thing I do daily when all of a sudden, I heard a sudden slamming sound as though something was being shut. He, I can confirm after looking at his hair, sideburns and shoes, was at the trunk of the car. He was flustered when he peeked up and saw me so he dashed into his seat with an attempt to not wanting me to see him. That failed, of course~

I had a good laugh at his clumsiness and tried to calm myself down. I was putting away my water spray when my foot accidentally got stuck at one of my chair's legs and kinda tripped pass it. At the corner of my eyes, I saw the headlights flickered. He must be laughing at me right now. Fine, truce then. I stood up, trying to control the stinging sensation on my leg but I couldn't help but to bend down and rub my leg. I hear the door of the car open so I looked over. I knew he was a shy guy and didn't want to force him to show himself so I waved, telling him that he doesn't need to come over. After a few moments, he attached his index finger and thumb together, asking me if I was alright. That was so sweet of him. I laughed over but replied him with the same motion. He then gave me a THUMBS UP making me giggling very badly.

I love him. He gives me the same feeling I had when I was with Kai. I am now more comfortable talking about Kai. I have successfully ended my chapter with him, thanking him each step of the way. He has made me the most happiest person alive and I would never forget him. But I don't think I could since this shy guy reminds me of Kai so very much. His flirting styles are quite similar. One word: Sweet.

There was one day where he didn't come at all. I was quite okay not being able to see him at the first hour, thinking at the back of my mind that maybe he had overtime or he had some important family issue he needs to attend. Then, of course, paranoia came. Damn, even when I was with Kai, my paranoia was not this severe. Is this called.. Nope, maybe not yet. Love will come by, I know it will.

And so, I waited and waited but still nothing. I was worried sick. Maybe he has a cold? The temperature here in Korea HAS been dropping below freezing. Maybe he has caught a flu? Questions were circulating around my mind but at one point, my brain my stops thinking all the bad point and tried chilling out.

It was closing time and he still didn't came. My heart was seriously yearning for him. How could one day be any different? I've seen him any other days.. I think.. I think I really love him. That's just it! I love him, I must be! I have been dreaming about him, thinking about him. My whole world revolves around him. I miss him ever so badly now but since I don't have any contact information of him, I guess I gotta wait for the sun to rise again. Dad was waiting for me outside as I close up. I wrote a note, paste it on the door and prayed that I would be strong enough. For me. For him.

For him.

__

Working has been such a drag. Thankfully my chest pains are gone. They are gone because I have been hanging around Ji Eun. Ji Eun, Ji Eun. Now, that girl drives me crazy. She is lovely, sweet and everything nice. I may sound like a ert but everything she does turns me on. Her neck when she tilts her head to read, her lips pouting when she figures out how to first use the water spray. God, I love her.

Me: ARGH!

And then.. this happens. I would always think about my kidnapping issue when I think too much about her. I don't even know how are they related! Scumbag brain..

I called over my secretary to help me research a few things about the incident. She knew about my condition, she was the one that admitted me to the hospital but didn't tell my parents about it. She was scared she would lose her job. I also told her not to tell my parents since I know how big of a fuss she would create. I asked her about my surgery and told her to find out for me things related to it. All of a sudden, that afternoon she sent me a message telling me to go to a particular location.

It was 5PM and I was just dismissed so I headed to the location. It was at the Police HeadQuarters. I walked in quite normally since I was, in some ways, dressing like a Casual-dressed Officer. Some even bowed at me but I just played it cool and walked away. I finally reached in front of a room when my secretary called.

Secretary: Are you in Sir?

Me: [Shuts the door] Yeah. What is all this?

Secretary: You have 15 mins. Get the information and leave. I'll send you a set of numbers.

I remained speechless as she tried to explain to me. I looked around the room that led me to shelves of documents. I was rather clueless about what I was doing there but as soon as a message beeped in my phone, I quickly get to work.

56805 902

I chanted the numbers to my lips and began my search. I was following the pattern it was going and I knew that I was very close to finding it. Then, I was at the correct section so I slowly looked through and spotted the file. It had not been touched for awhile so it has been compressed quite badly. I swiftly took it out with my strength and felt that the file was rather thick. I flipped it open and the first thing that caught my eyes was a picture of a guy. He was.. He was..

The officer that I shot.

I read through his file only to find out more and more things. At the end of the set of papers, a huge red stamp was given to the man. 

DECEASED

I began flipping the papers to see what are my connections with him. Why did my secretary showed me all this? Well, faster than expected, my answers were shown.

ORGAN DONATION

Name: Kim Jong In

I skipped his other particulars and flipped to the next page. I shouldn't have done that; it only made my numb.

ORGAN TRANSPLANT

DONOR: Kim Jong In

TRANSFER: Park Chan Yeol

My body was all limp which made my arms drop as the file drop alongside. I began to emptily swallow, absorbing everything I just saw. All I could concentrate about were those two names since it was bold and in red colour. Then, everything began crashing down. My brain started to hurt, my chest started to sting. I was a wreck, trying hard to breathe. I squat down, hoping that the pain would subside. I clutched onto my heart..no. His heart, Kim Jong In's. No. Kai's. His name is Kai. My name is Kai.

That was what my heart told me. I realise what I'm saying. But does that mean I killed him? I think.. I think I did. 

My phone buzzed again showing me a message from my secretary telling me that I only have 5 more minutes. I slowly stood up, brush off my shirt and casually head out. I could still feel the pain but it was not as bad. I got in the car and left.

__

I drove over to Fluffy Snow. I looked over at the Digital Clock installed in the car and it says - 00:37. It was already pass midnight. I don't know why but it feels like hynotism when my hands know where to drive instead of my brain. Just the ambience calms my heart. I was looking over when I was a note pasted on the door. I scuffled over and read the note. It made my eyes dilate and my heart race without any stinging pain.

Hey, are you okay? Did you hurt yourself? I didn't see you around the whole day and I was worried about you. Please take care of yourself.

PS. I know it might be a little freaky to be saying this but I really wanna meet you. Could you come over and meet me face-to-face tomorrow right here in Fluffy Snow? I would really love it if you would.

xoxo
Yi JiEun
Momo

Momo? That's cute. And with that, I slowly made my way to the car as I re-read the note again. She was worried. I should have came over. Anyways, I knew I was able to sleep well that night.