Jaejoong was standing by the window with his arms crossed over his chest watching Changmin running and gigling trying to catch the rabbits with Yamato.  For the hundredth time, Jaejoong was really grateful that he had met Yamapi when he was in need of help. Yamapi and his father had accepted him and Changmin to be part of their family.

Indeed, Grandpa Yamato loved Changmin as if Changmin was his own grandson so much that he was willing to sacrifice his own wish when his own son cannot give him a real grandson because his son is in love with a man. And Yamapi had been everything for him. He was always a good friend to him, but now Jaejoong realized his kindness was something more, something that Jaejoong hoped wasn't true. He didn't know where and when it began but now he knew that it's really happened.

Jaejoong stared aimlessly out of the window. He thought he'd finally managed to sort everything out in his life, that there wouldn't be any more surprises. Apparently he'd been wrong. Until yesterday his life had been normal. Everything had been at the right place. But right now, at that moment, he could only stare at the chaos that was his life.

Yunho.

It was hard to draw himself away from thinking about Yunho, seeing one particular scene in his mind. ‘Why did you have to do that?’

Three years ago he left his house with Changmin and came to Tokyo to start a new life for him and his son but he had never imagined that starting over would bring so many risks...for his heart and his life.

A knock at the door pulled him out of his thought.

"Jaejoong…are you in there?" asked a muffled voice. Jaejoong hesitated for a few moments, wondering if he should respond or not.

"Y-yeah. I'm in here." He moved toward the door and opened it. Standing behind it was Yamapi.

"May I come in?" Yamapi said, his eyes pleading. Jaejoong nodded numbly. He pulled the door open all the way and gestured for Yamapi to come in. He then left the door open and went to sit on the bed. Yamapi closed the door and went to sit next to him. Neither of them said a word, the room was in complete silence, not a sound was made.

"Jae…I…" Yamapi eyed him, whose gaze rose to meet his. It made Yamapi uncomfortable, but mainly because it was not the way Jaejoong normally looked at him. The sheer emotionless nature of his irises caused him to swallow nervously. "...are you alright?" he finally blurted out.

Jaejoong pursed his lips together, refusing to respond verbally. He nodded once in a slow, but assuring manner. "I told you last night. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." His words contradicting what he actually felt as his heart pounded erratically in his chest.

"Are you sure? You don't look too good right now. You smell sad... and angry." Yamapi said.

"Trust me, I'm fine."

Yamapi sighed and looked at Jaejoong, pitying him. He knew how much painful it had been for him to live after he had left Seoul and just when he was trying to be happy again, his first love had reappeared, completely confusing him. He noticed Jaejoong's eyes were red and puffy. “Jae, you’ve been crying.”

Jaejoong sighed, slightly disappointed. “I saw him, Yamapi. I saw him downstairs. I saw him kneeling in front of you.”

Yamapi gasped. "Jae… I'm sorry… about earlier… about him… I never should have…done that. I’m sorry. I was being selfish.”

Jaejoong chuckled, sounding slightly hollow. “No. You’re not. Why do you have to say sorry? It’s not your fault. It’s my fault. I made him to be like that.” Jaejoong said, very careful to keep his expression neutral. But he was actually an emotional time bomb waiting to explode. ‘Be st