It was horrifying. A horrifying feeling, knowing he could do nothing. The ugly truth. He tried not cry, not to freak out. He failed. He needed some air and a little space, but wasn’t ready to go back to their house. Instead he’d asked the taxi driver to send him to his old apartment. He was lucky he'd carried the house key with him as he had planned to drop by after the meeting at the lawyer office. He fumbled with his keys to the door of his apartment, giving an irritating grumble he finally opened, eagerly pushing the door open.  He stood there for a long moment, just staring at the wooden door before he went inside. It was warm, welcoming, familiar. All the feelings that he needed right now.

He sat on the couch, amid the almost empty apartment. He let out a little chuckle. He remembered he had promised to himself that he will not regret for what ever happened between him and Yunho. It was just part of his life, he'd come to accept it.

The door bell rang, interrupted his thoughts. Glaring at the offending sound, he closed his eyes and pretended he didn't hear it.The bell rang again then followed with an insistently knock.  However, and this time a familiar voice accompanied it.

"Jaejoong!" a loud and familiar voice was heard from across the door.

He blinked.  'Umma?' He shook his head, hardly believing that his mind could be playing tricks on him.

“Jaejoong, open the door please, darling."

He ignored the tightening in his chest as he got up and strolled towards the door before throwing it open. "Umma, why are you here?” Jaejoong asked and opened the door wider and his mother-in-law stepped in.

"I'm here to see my darling." She said, following Jaejoong into the house and took a seat next to him on the couch. “Are you okay, darling?” She asked.

Jaejoong lowered his head so that his mother-in-law wouldn’t see the tears in his eyes as he nodded at her. But Jaejoong knew, Umma knew him too well. He has no doubt she can read the sadness in his eyes.

She reached for his hand and hold it tight. “Jaejoong, umma know, this all happened too sudden. I am so very sorry you had to go through this." She said rubbing his hand tenderly.  "But that doesn't change the fact that it happened for a good course. I'm glad for what grandpa did."

When she saw no reply from him, she continued, "At first umma was shocked with your engagement, but then after a deep thinking, umma knew that there's no other person that can make umma and grandpa more happier, other than you. Yunho loved you, Jaejoong. He wouldn't marry you if he doesn't love you."

Jaejoong shook his head again, but more defeated this time. He let out a long breath just before he opened his mouth to speak. “I know. I’m sorry, umma. It's just that I thought he'd gotten over Ara. But there he was almost yelling that grandpa had messed up their relationship.”

“Men say funny things when their pride is hurt.” She tried to reason with Yunho’s action.

“But why is his pride hurt now more than it was when she dumped him?”Jaejoong asked, looking into her eyes.

“I don't know.“  She sighed.

Jaejoong allowed the ridiculous situation to sink for a few seconds, and allowed himself a wallow in self- pity. “I really thought he love me.”

“Darling, he did. Well he did marry you.”

“But, that time he didn't know the facts. Now he regrets it.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“He didn't have to. It was in the way he was talking about how grandpa should have respected his decision.”

“Maybe that was his grief talking.”

Jaejoong stared at her for a second, then he shook his head, "“I hope so, but I doubt it.”

"Trust me, darling," she whispered reassuringly. “You need to calm down”

"Stay calm? Umma, you were in there and you saw what happened to him." Jaejoong swallowed hard going slightly pale at the memory. He shook his head and let out a sigh.

"I know this is messed up right now." She sighed and leaned back against the couch.

"I don't know if I can bear to see his face now that he realized…" he stopped when suddenly his doorbell rang and followed with a knocking.

"I'll open it." She said walking towards the door. And the door opened revealed Yunho was panting for air as he ran up the stairs. She just closed the door without saying anything to her son.

She walked back inside and grabbed her handbag and gave a kiss on Jaejoong's cheeks. “I better go now. He's all yours."