(Continued)

—Kyuhyun’s POV—

“I’m sorry. I can’t do it.”

The room turned eerily silent, and I almost regretted my words – almost. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel bad for that Sungmin guy. I could completely understand that he was hurting a lot at the moment, and his friends all wanted him to get better. But what about me?

I had woken up to only one familiar face: Joohyun. Suddenly, they tell me that I lost five years of my memory. Then Joohyun goes on to tell me that she’s been engaged for four years already, and that we broke up four years ago. As much as I didn’t want to believe them, I couldn’t do that. It was true that it was already five years since I was sixteen, and I looked different too. Nonetheless, I couldn’t do what they asked of me.

I was selfish, I knew that. I had always been slightly selfish. That Ryeowook guy hit the nail on the head for that. I didn’t want to admit that I had lost Joohyun to another guy. I didn’t want to let go of Joohyun, because if I did, I would never get her back. I wanted everything to just be like before. I would be happy with Joohyun, leading our own carefree lives without a worry in the world.

The thought of leaving Joohyun and losing her again, since I’d apparently lost her once, was terrifying. I didn’t want to do it, simply because I was selfish. Did I care that Sungmin was hurting? Yes, but it was only like how a person would be worried for a stranger. His face wasn’t familiar in the least when I saw him yesterday. I refused to let Joohyun go for that guy. She was the only one that I could recognise amongst them all, and only she made me feel safe. My parents were out of the country and couldn’t get back just yet, so Joohyun was literally the only one who I knew.

The strangest part was that I was gay, according to them. I had to admit that Sungmin was kind of good-looking. However, I couldn’t accept that fact. I still loved Joohyun the most, and I believe that if I really did love Sungmin, everything would come back to me naturally. It wouldn’t require spending time with him to remember anything.

I looked back up at everyone in the room and noticed that the mochi-like guy – Henry, I think – was sniffling. The other guy, Leeteuk or something, was tearing up as well. Heck, even Joohyun was shaking. I knew that she no longer loved me like before, because she had tried to leave so many times in the middle of the night. I didn’t mind living in denial though, if it meant that we would be together still.

“Are you sure?”

I snapped my head up to look at the person who spoke. It was Yesung, Ryeowook’s supposed boyfriend. My head throbbed as I moved it a little too quickly, and I hesitated. Was I really sure about my decision? From what they told me, I could make or break Sungmin. I bit my lower lip, not so sure of myself anymore.

Even if I was selfish, would I be able to live with myself? Even if I didn’t know Sungmin, I would be guilty for a long time. I could empathise with him, but I just didn’t know if I was willing to at least talk to him. They all said that I was happy with Sungmin, and I wanted to believe them because I didn’t really want to keep clinging onto Joohyun anymore.

I was terrified of losing Joohyun again, that was still true. But I wouldn’t really lose her even if I did go to talk to Sungmin. If Sungmin made me happy, and leaving Joohyun would make her happy… I honestly wouldn’t mind giving it a shot. I could at least talk to him.

Yesung’s question really got me thinking. Just moments ago, I was adamant on staying with Joohyun. Now, thinking about it once more, I wouldn’t lose Joohyun. Even if she couldn’t be my girlfriend anymore, I could still love her as a friend couldn’t I? I sighed heavily and changed my mind abruptly.

“I’m willing to talk to him, just for a little bit,” I said reluctantly. As I spoke, I watched Joohyun carefully. The second the words left my mouth, her face literally brightened and I could only admit defeat to her fiancé, whoever he was. I wouldn’t be able to win Joohyun back, so I might as well try to regain my other supposed source of happiness.

I heard sighs of relief all around me and I couldn’t help but think that maybe this was a better decision. I only hoped that I was right to give Joohyun her life back, and to give Sungmin a chance.

---------------------

I was wheeled into Sungmin’s room, still too weak to walk on my own. The moment I entered, gasps were elicited from almost everyone in the room. I had to raise a brow at every nameless face in there, because they seemed so shocked to see me there.

“K-Kyuhyun?” one of them asked, probably unsure whether he was really seeing me or if he was hallucinating. The moment my name was spoken, Sungmin turned to look at me. He had been sitting on the bed, hugging his knees to his chest and staring blankly at the wall in front of him, not moving at all. His eyes, previously void of any emotion, seemed to light up as he saw me there.

“Is that really you?” a feminine guy asked.

I nodded in response. “I’m here to talk to Sungmin hyung.”

I saw how the hope faded from Sungmin’s eyes and he shook his head in denial. I didn’t understand at first, and I was even more confused by the sad looks from the others. Joohyun told me that she would wait outside and left the room first. One by one, the guys left the room too, until only Sungmin and I were left.

I wheeled myself to the bed, keeping my eyes on Sungmin who was still shaking his head. He was murmuring something to himself, something that I couldn’t hear until I was close enough to him. The words that left his lips affected me more than they should, even if I had no recollection of him whatsoever.

“You’re not Kyu. You’re not Kyu.”

Sungmin kept repeating that and I wondered why he called me that. As far as I could remember, only Joohyun called me like that. He must really have mattered to me, then. As much as I wanted to remember him, I was afraid to remember the pain that I felt when I broke up with Joohyun. I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do, but if everyone was right, then it would be better if I could recall everything.

“Sungmin hyung, I am Kyuhyun. I’m sorry if I don’t remember you, but can we at least try to hold some semblance of a conversation? If it helps, I don’t really remember anything. Would you mind telling me what happened?” I asked, mentally smacking myself for sounding so polite and gentle. It was just that Sungmin looked really torn up and I didn’t want to cause him anymore hurt.

It seemed as if my good intentions backfired though, as Sungmin began to cry. I started to panic, never having liked to see anyone cry. I didn’t know what the hell I did wrong. I hadn’t shouted at him or anything, but he just broke down. Watching Sungmin cry pulled at my heartstrings and I bit my lower lip, wondering what I should do. While I wanted to hug him, a small part of me said that I would be betraying Joohyun by doing so.

Desperate, I grabbed onto Sungmin’s hand. “Whatever I did to make you cry, I’m sorry. Just calm down, please? I really want to find out what happened that day,” I pleaded, not wanting to watch him cry anymore. My pleas were ignored as Sungmin continued to cry, choking on his tears. My heart ached as I looked at him helplessly. There was nothing that I could do to stop him from crying.

“Sungmin hyung, please. Don’t cry anymore,” I tried again. I could tell that he was doing his best to stop crying, suppressing his cries by biting onto his lips till they bled. No matter how he tried, the tears kept coming. I took a deep breath, ignoring the protests from myself, and hugged Sungmin. He tensed at first, but slowly relaxed and buried his face in the crook of my shoulder. He still continued to cry, although it was a lot better than before.

“Shh, everything’s fine. I’ll try to remember, Sungmin hyung. Give me time.”

Sungmin nodded against my shoulder, still crying. His tears soaked through the thin fabric of my hospital gown, but I didn’t care about it. I was guilty of making Sungmin cry and this was the one thing that I could do for him now. We could take things slow, but I just wanted to give him a chance.

We stayed like that for some time, Sungmin’s cries being reduced to sobs by then. I heaved a mental sigh of relief when Sungmin’s sobs were hardly audible, yet I continued to stay in that position. I didn’t want to admit it, but the feeling of Sungmin’s head on my shoulder felt comforting to me.

It felt perfect.

----------------------

—Nobody’s POV—

Seohyun made her way out of Sungmin’s room and left the hospital hurriedly. Shindong watched her leave and wondered where exactly the girl was going, since she hadn’t left Kyuhyun since he’d woken up. He shrugged it off, not overthinking it.

Seohyun tried to catch her breath as she slowed to a stop, tired from running for the past five minutes. She looked around the park near the hospital, hoping to spot a familiar figure somewhere. While waiting, she paced around nervously and gnawed on her lip.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, Seohyun saw the person she currently dreaded and was searching for. Seohyun walked over to where Sooyoung was sitting and sat down beside her, almost dying from nervousness. She had to report to Sooyoung about how things were progressing, and she knew that things definitely weren’t going in Sooyoung’s favour.

“Unni,” Seohyun started, trying not to stammer. Sooyoung turned to look at Seohyun expectantly, waiting for the younger to say something good. Seohyun gulped, deciding to just wing it this time. “Kyu oppa’s awake but he doesn’t remember anything or anyone.”

That wasn’t a lie, actually. Seohyun just conveniently left out the part where Kyuhyun was willing to give Sungmin a chance. She knew very well that Sooyoung really wanted to break the couple up, but Seohyun couldn’t do that to her childhood best friend. Sungmin was also a really nice guy, as was Ryeowook, and Seohyun just didn’t understand why Sooyoung was so angry.

Sooyoung smiled at the good news and nodded, patting Seohyun on the back. She didn’t pay attention to how the younger girl flinched at her touch, far too afraid of Sooyoung to even want to be touched by her. “That’s a good girl. I’ll release that guy then, but keep an eye on them. I don’t want them getting back together just yet.”

Seohyun shuddered at Sooyoung’s tone. Sooyoung had always been really nice to her dongsaengs, yet it seemed like Sooyoung had changed completely. Seohyun didn’t like it at all, especially not when her beloved was threatened as a result. Seohyun still disapproved of Sooyoung’s actions though, and she just wanted Kyuhyun and Sungmin to get back together. Yet it was something that she couldn’t control, since Kyuhyun had lost his memory. She could only be patient and wait.

Sooyoung stood up, dusting her pants off before turning to Seohyun with a smirk.

“It’s either you help me, or that guy’s going back with me. And amnesia? You did well when you ran him over,” Sooyoung praised. Seohyun held back a sob as she was reminded of what she did. With that, Sooyoung left the park and Seohyun.

“Kyu oppa, I really didn’t mean to do this to you. I’m sorry.”

Sooyoung took one last glance at Seohyun and rolled her eyes.

“Pathetic.”

Ehh, I don't even know. How on earth Kyu suddenly changed his mind is just confusing, even to me x.x

Well, I hope you enjoyed this from Kyu's POV for once. At least now you know how he feels, too :) He isn't all that selfish, after all :D

Hmm... my holidays start tomorrow, but I kinda still have remedials for two weeks :/ Meh. And three weeks from now, I'll have camp, so I might update a day later than usual (unless I can finish a chapter by Wednesday ><)

That's pretty much all from me for today. Oh, and Seohyun isn't that horrible. She only did this because her fiance was kidnapped (yeah, Sooyoung with her kidnapping. As usual *sigh*) She wasn't expecting Kyu to get amnesia though, so don't hate on her for this XP

I'll see you guys again next week then, I guess. Annyeong~! ^-^