We're now in our 18 weeks of pregnancy and things are going smoothly so far.

Word has gotten around campus that Dara was expecting and of course the majority would think negatively of her. Dara's personality has been permanently set on her real one and not that fake, all-smiles one. So since her true nature was not really something to show your grandmother to, the fact that she was somewhat brash made people spread more bad things about her like 'oh, I saw it coming', 'how did she even get in here if she acts so rashly', etc. etc. She doesn't really mind that much but on her off days -- or what the rest of our friends called it, 'the reign in the name Sauron' -- she gets a little bit too... emotional and out there. I can't really explain it very well but they say she gets pretty bat poop crazy when she 'reigns'. I'm not really scared at her anymore, as a matter of fact I think her angry face is cute. Her soft and gentle facial features makes it really hard for me to take her seriously when she's reprimanding me or getting mad. 

When the first time I met her and got to know her, I completely let my guard down. I didn't know why but my cautiousness about people out to get me (like when I got bullied back then) was brought down when she threatened me on the first day. I have gotten the courage to fight back or retort ever since we moved to Korea but when she cursed at me and even choked me, I wasn't able to do something about it and I just let her. I also realized that during our first months of being friends, I would openly wince at her hits despite it not being that hard. Hmm. That seemed really unusual, even for me.

Wait... Did I do that so she could comfort me? 

Well, she would apologize and rub the part that she hit in the end and then I get to see her soft smile and feel her small hands on my ski--- whoa, I can't believe I was unknowingly sly. Aigoo, what's happening to me? 

I blame my future wife. 

Future wife...  that sounded really nice. 

Going back to my future wife, I've been seeing different types of Dara during her pregnancy. Considering that I've already stated it earlier, one type of Dara is Sauron that 'spreads all the evil and negativity for all of Middle Earth to suffer' according to Seunghyun who has recently been watching the Lord of the Rings series. Sauron Dara is very critical towards herself and others. She snaps very easily and one has to handle her like a fine piece of very fragile glass in order to calm her to the best of one's abilities. She also gets very insecure about herself and make sure we know her troubles and make us comfort and tell her that everything was fine but she snaps again and tells us that everything won't be fine. Sauron Dara has a vicious cycle of pain, grief, and negativity. Sadly, it's the type of Dara that shows up more often in the past few days. 

SAURON DARA

"You look lovely today, noona. I can tell that the pregnancy has been---"

"Shut up before I staple your lips together and bury you to the ground." 

Seungri immediately closed his mouth shut as he hid behind Chaerin. Oh yeah, I forgot. Seungri and Chaerin have been admitted to Seoul National when we were on our extended vacation. They said they applied for the Autumn semester. We were only starting our Sophomore year and I wonder why we haven't seen them sooner. I thought they took some summer classes so they could get to university earlier but I guess they still got held back. We were quite surprised when we just saw them pop out of nowhere, saying that they're going to school with us. To be honest, I'm still a bit wary around them. I haven't interacted them that much when I was still in High School and I feel rather uncomfortable with expressing myself with them around since I don't know them like the rest of them do. Sometimes I break out of my anxious shell when Dara's around but most of the time, I revert back to my old ways of being reserved.

I was reaching for Dara in order to comfort her but when my hand touch her skin, she slapped my hand off and hissed as if she was a snake that was about to strike. I pulled back and just sat quietly on my seat while taking quick glances at her. If I stare too long, she's going to snap and 'Sauron will rise once more' as exclaimed by Seunghyun.

Today was one of the rare moments that all of us finished our classes at the same time. Our classes are not that well-organized and some aren't set to stone because of some professor's appointments so we don't get a chance to eat lunch or hang out after school most of the time. This is one of the moments that I never thought I would have had without having Dara by my side.  

"Look at them... quietly judging me with their eyes. Yeah, I see you whispering..." Dara muttered to herself while taking nibbles of the bread that she was holding. She had her eyes on a group of SNU students who were clearly peeking over our direction. When she stood up from her seat and slammed her hands on the table, our friends hid their faces in hopes of not getting seen with her. I don't know what's the problem. I think she looks cute.

"HEY TARDS!! I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING! YOU BETTER NOT BE TALKING ABOUT ME OR ELSE I'M GONNA GO INTO YOUR ING HOUSE, BREAK ALL YOUR , AND TELL YOUR MOMMY ON YOU FOR TALKING SMACK ABOUT INNOCENT PEOPLE!!!!!" 

The group hurriedly scurried off the family restaurant, leaving the rest of the people inside to look at my fuming ssantokki. I saw her eyes scan the entirety of the restaurant. She let out an irritated grunt as she raked her hair frustratingly. I started fanning her with my textbook and she didn't seem to mind so I guess I was doing the right thing. 

"WHAT?!?! DO YOU WANT ME TO GO TO YOUR HOUSES TOO?????" She boomed to the people who were looking at her. 

I could see the fear in their eyes while I saw them swallow lumps in their throats. I remember that I used to make people look like that. It was definitely not what I was hoping for but I couldn't stop myself because it was a self-defense habit. I don't know if Dara is just using her threats for self-defense like I did or if she was just plain angry. Maybe both.  

"Jiyong oppa, are you---"

"DON'T CALL HIM OPPA!!!!!"

Chaerin just cleared and bowed her head, not letting us see the terror in her expression. I looked back at Dara and saw her breathing raggedly. I felt a hint of amusement when she was still a bit bothered about the word 'oppa'. My eyes trailed down on her stomach and saw that there was already a small baby bump. It was still not that noticeable and Dr. Ahn told us that it was normal for first-time mothers. I put my hand on the small of her back and saw her head instantly snap at my direction. She was removing my hand but I kept a firm hold on her by holding on to her shirt. It was hard stifling a smile with her looking down cutely at me like that. Her brows were tight-knit and her eyes were flaring up. Her lips formed an adorable thin line which told me that she was clearly displeased. 

"Why don't you want her to call me oppa?" I lost to my whims and smirked at her. "I am older than her after all. She's just doing it as a sign of respect." 

She flared up in anger even more and I felt her small body trembling. I took a quick glimpse at our friends and saw them looking at us with the blood drained away from their face. Youngbae seemed different though. I can see that he wasn't affected by Sauron Dara like I was. He was busy picking his teeth with a toothpick while his eyes were starting to drift off to sleep. I saw Bom and Seunghyun bulging their eyes at me and lightly moving their mouths. I turned my head and looked at the both of them. 

Do you have a death wish, Jiyong-ah?!?!

Relax, Bom. She's not going to do anything. 

Not do anything--- Have you seen her eyes?? She looks like she has lasers ready to disintegrate your firm . I don't want you to die, Jiyongie!!!!

God, you're still a ert. I thought you changed. 

I think she looks adorable. 

Oh no, sweetheart. I think you're confused. When the nice lady gives you , it doesn't mean you have to like her every time. There is still a way to get out of this, Jiyong. 

Says the man who's still hung up about a kiss over a millennium ago. You're despicable. 

I thought we already put that behind us? Why are you still bringing it up?

Because... I...

"I'M GONNA ING KILL YOU, JIYONG!!!!!" 

I saw Dara reaching for my neck but before she could get to it, I hugged her by the waist and she thrashed and struggled to get away from me. I peeked over to Bom and Seunghyun and saw them sitting with a great distance between them. They both looked somber and that conversation that they just had made me think that there was something going on with them that the rest of us don't know about. 

"Oh my god, will you shut your goddamn mouth for a minute?!" Youngbae suddenly thundered and slammed his fist on the table. There were dark bags under his eyes and he looked exhausted. "You keep shouting in all caps and it's getting really annoying now that it's not even funny. Just please, for the love of all that is good and holy, shut the up and let me get some sleep!!!" 

"Oh boo hoo, little Youngbaby is cranky because he hasn't taken his nap yet. Do you want me to rock you to sleep and feed you?" 

"NO!" both Youngbae and I yelled. Even though her retort was laced with a generous amount of sarcasm, the thought of him and her... *shivers* No, that's only for me and our baby. 

I heard snickering from beside me and saw Seungri giggling to himself while Chaerin was looking at him as if he were a piece of poop smear on a bathroom wall. Seungri and I locked eyes and he quickly stopped while clearing his throat like there was a fish bone stuck to it. 

"What's wrong with him?" I asked Chaerin coolly. I mentally scolded myself for still acting stiff towards them. I hope I get comfortable with them soon enough but Seungri... I don't know why but I feel more uncomfrotable with him than I do with Chaerin. 

"Ah opp---" She glanced at Dara and saw her shooting straight daggers at her. Chaerin gulped again and looked at me nervously, not knowing the appropriate name to call me. 

"No need for the formalities, 'Jiyong' is fine." 

"A-arasso." She wiped away the sweat on her forehead and tried to avoid Dara's murderous gaze. "Seungri-ah's laughing at you because he said that you really became Dara unnie's..." she gave me a tentative look, her lips were slightly parted and she her lips since it was getting chapped. "." she said it fast and she said it faintly. 

I looked at Seungri impassively, hiding the tension and anxiousness in my face. He was scolding Chaerin for being a tattletale and she was just chuckling while continuing to look in front and away from him. Why would he think I'm Dara's sorry -- -- sorry? I guess I've been pretty passive when it came to her and my closer friends but I felt like he was talking lowly of me when he said that. It wasn't like when the others do it but when Seungri did it to me, I can't help but feel bad for myself. Why am I so sensitive? Maybe I'm the one that's pregnant. 

I felt a pair of arms circling my neck and felt Dara's familiar calming chill that reached my naturally warm face. She then started massaging my face and I laughed when she was angrily whispering to me that I shouldn't let other people's words get to me and something about watching too many dramas. 

"Seungri-yah, do you want me to make a out of you too?" Seungri hurriedly shook his head and cowered over Chaerin. "Stop teasing my husband. He gets extra delicate with people that he's not familiar with." 

"A-are you not comfortable with me, h-hyung?" 

I didn't respond, instead I just looked down and played with Dara's fingers that were hanging on my shoulders. Before I knew it, I saw Seungri lunging at me and enveloping me in a hug. I raised my hands up, not knowing where to put them. I looked back and saw Dara in another heated argument with Youngbae while Donghae was just looking at the both of them amusedly while drinking a glass of orange juice. Classic Donghae. 

I focused back on this panda-looking boy that was nuzzling his face on my chest. I hovered my hand over his arms so that I could remove it but he kept squirming and moving. If this happened back then, I would have already kicked him off of me and run away but I didn't want what's happening between us to get more awkward so I just sat there feeling awkward by myself with my hands hovering over top of him. 

"At least you're not bad as your sister." I heard Dara say. 

Yeah, at least I'm not bad as her but this really has to stop. 

I forcefully pried him off of me, feeling like I have been contaminated or something in that manner. He pouted at me and I just looked at him without an ounce of expression in my face but on the inside, my heart was beating fast and I felt hotter because of the risk that I took at letting him invade my personal space. 

Another example of Dara in her 'Sauron days' just happened yesterday weekend when the both of us were stuck in the house because there was heavy snowfall outside. But this particular day wasn't filled with threats or anger, it was filled with so much insecurities, and tears that she refuses to allow even a pinch of positivity to seep in. 

We were sitting by the couch. My head was on Dara's lap and she was running her fingers through my hair while massaging my head at the same time. We were busy silently re-watching 'the Heirs' for the nth time now (well at least for me) when I suddenly heard her sniffing. I looked up and saw her frowning lips trembling. I quickly shot up and put her head on my shoulder while asking her what was wrong. 

"I'm fat." 

There was barely a bulge on her stomach and I told her that she didn't look fat but she started hiccuping and cried even more. 

"My abs that we worked so hard for is going to be gone!" she wailed. 

"We?" I arched a brow. 

"Yeah, because you're a ing work-out, you stud." She sobbed. It took me a while to understand what she said but when the realization hit me, I smirked. I hid my face in her hair because I don't want her to think that I was making fun of her by smiling. "And you'll be way out of my league when I start to look more ugly and bloated." 

"Hey..." I kissed her cheek and she angrily wiped her tears with my shirt. "You're not going to look ugly and bloated." 

"How do you know??! You're not the one who's ing pregnant!!" 

Uh oh, did I get the angry Sauron too? I thought this was only the negative Sauron today. 

"Do you know how many stretch marks I have on my stomach?!?! Do you know how much I vomited earlier because this devil inside me doesn't like what I'm eating? Do you know how many clothes are starting to not fit me anymore because of this gigantic bump????!"

"I think you're exaggerating, babe. Little baby is not making mommy's tummy big yet." I put my hand on her stomach and caressed it. 

"I AM NOT EXAGGERATING, KWON JIYONG."

"Ah.. arasso, arasso. I'm sorry. I was just joking." 

"Y-you wo-won't lo-o-ve me anymore when I g-get fa-at!" she stuttered. 

"I'll love you until the the day I die." 

"I'm going to look so haggard. Hell, I think I'm gonna end up looking like Hagrid!" 

"You'll be the most beautiful half-giant that I'd ever seen." 

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME A GIANT?"

I my dried lips and cleared my throat. "H-Hagrid is a half-giant." 

"Oh my god... You really don't love me anymore." 

Her face looked completely pained and crestfallen. I should not have said that. I should really not have said that. She stood up and ran to our room but before I could reach her, she slammed the door in my face. I was left to slump down on the bedroom door and promise to myself to just listen and keep quiet whenever her insecurities strike her. 

"About 6 months to go, Jiyong." I told myself. 

On some other days, there is the Mother Teresa Dara. Initially, I thought that she went back to her old self again but when I saw the sincerity in her facial expression and her actions, that's when I knew that she was still the same Dara. It was kind of weird seeing her so... refined and soft-spoken. I mean, it's not like it's a bad thing. I'm just not used to it anymore I guess. Mother Dara is surprisingly good at household chores, especially cooking which came off as the biggest shock to all of us seeing how she was only good at making shakes and frying mediocre eggs. I can't help but admire her whenever she takes care of me and everyone when she becomes this type. 

MOTHER DARA

I woke up hugging something soft and cuddly. I smiled to myself when I got a whiff of her familiar scent. My eyes had yet to open but it didn't matter since I was already feeling her in my arms. My arms unconsciously tightened around her and felt her waist getting squished with no problem. I peeked with one eye and saw that I was hugging a pillow. I scanned the room and saw that it was completely organized and tidy. There was also a lingering, savory smell coming from the downstairs and I couldn't help but get entranced because of it. I got up and made the bed. I didn't bother wearing a shirt since I would only feel myself get hot from it so I just wore a pair of joggers as I made my way down, yawning and rubbing away the sleep off my eyes. 

Dara's back was facing me. She was wearing the pink apron that she bought me for Christmas while humming a children's song to herself. The table already had a bunch of side dishes set and yet she was still cooking. I took cautious steps towards her and looked over her shoulder and saw her cooking some fried rice. I s my arms on her waist and she turned to me with a smile that almost made me blind. "How was your sleep." 

"Good but now that I'm seeing you, it became better." 

"Oh, you're still sleeping?" she giggled softly. 

I snuggled on her shoulder. "I always feel like I'm in a dream when I'm with you."

She turned off the stove and turned to me with a warm, close-mouthed smile. She put her hands on my cheek and I gave both hands audible pecks, earning me another round of soft laughter. 

"Alright, dream boy. Help me get this on a bowl and let's start eating. I have to pack everyone's lunches too." 

"Hmm, is that why you made so much food today?" she nodded and a frowned playfully at her. "You better not do that everyday or else I'll get jealous." 

Her heavenly laughter