Chapter 25

=Jae POV=

I walked out into the parking lot and got inside my car. My thoughts are in a mess. I knew I shouldn’t have left her like that but I needed some time alone. I needed some air. I remembered one time when she was at my place, I asked her if something was wrong. I think that was the start of everything but she just smiled at me and told me everything was fine. That nothing was wrong. How could I not notice? Why did she keep this from me? Don’t I have the right to know? My grip on the steering wheel got tighter as all sorts of thoughts came rushing in.

I took out my phone and looked at the wallpaper. It was me and her. She looked so beautiful, smiling like that… smiling with me. I touched the screen as if touching it means actually touching her. Her who is probably crying or sad right now. I sighed and threw the phone on the passenger seat and just closed my eyes. How am I supposed to protect her if she doesn’t tell me anything….? You the engine and started to drive. You just need some time alone or someone else to talk to…. You took your phone again and scrolled down the list of contacts… then hit the dial button.

“Yoochun- na… where are you?”

“Just at home. Waeyo?”

“Can you come out for a sec…? meet me by the Han river…. And can you bring some drinks…?”

[AN: why is it that they always go to Han river when they are sad or something’s on their mind…. Aigooo… LOL oh mianhe… ignore me… carry on… :P]

“Uh… arasso hyung… I’ll be there in a bit."

I hung up and continued driving. The reason why I asked Yoochun was because he had been in this situation before… well not completely similar but still it’s almost the same. I really don’t know what to do. I do love her but I didn’t like her keeping secrets from me, especially this big of a secret. I arrived at the place and parked my car. I put on my beanie, my hooded sweater and my mask: my usual disguise. I sighed and sat on one of the benches. Wow. So many memories. This is where I first kissed her and told her to go out with me. And as if on cue, fireworks were going off which made me grimaced. Everything reminds me of her. Her expression when she saw the fireworks, it was adorable. Beautiful. another sigh escaped my lips when I looked up the night sky, deep in my thoughts when I felt something cold on the side of my neck. I turned and saw Yoochun smiling at me. I just looked at him with sad eyes.

“Wae gore…. Jaejoong hyung?” he looked at me confused and concerned. He wasn’t used to seeing me like this. And every time he does, he gets worried. Especially that time when Yong ha died…. That was a dark time for me and I kept it all to myself but he still saw it anyways. “Yoochun- na… someone found out about my relationship with ____ ah. “ Yoochun’s eyes went @@ and he almost spit on his drink. “Omo.. jinjia? Who is it hyung?” I just shook my head while I put the cold drink to my lips. “I don’t know. I just found out today. She just told me today… and that really bothers me because why did she keep it from me…. Doesn’t she trust me enough..?? I mean.. come on…” I whined and complained. I vented it out to him.

Yoochun took a gulp from his drink and stared at the river thoughtfully. He patted my shoulder seeing that this really affected me. “It’s not really about trust hyung. It’s probably that she doesn’t want to be a burden to you. probably didn’t want to add to your worries and stresses.” He said quietly which just made me frustrated. How can she even think like that? Doesn’t she know my feelings? Didn’t I say it enough? Was I too busy? I thought as I stare at my feet and at my drink.

“You know… this is the place where I asked her to go out with me. This is where I first kissed her. And as if, the memories weren’t enough to torment me, there were fireworks earlier too. Aigoo if you could’ve seen her expression when she saw the fireworks… it was so childish  she was like a child, staring happily at it. “ I chuckled bitterly at the memory and sighed once again, taking a big gulp of my beer. The bitter taste seemed to make it a bit better as I reached for my cigarettes and offered Yoochun one. He took one and we both lighted them.

“but I bet that expression made you fall in love with her. Isn’t it hyung? I bet you thought it was adorable.” He teased after one puff of his cigarette and chuckling at himself. “Yes. It was adorable. She is so weird but I love that about her. She’s hot tempered, very violent and weird but I love her Chunnie.” I admitted and stared at the river with this realization and felt my chest tighten as I swallowed a big lump in my throat. “Then there shouldn’t be any problem then hyung. Why are you sulking here when you could actually be with her right now?” Yoochun smiled and put a hand on my shoulder squeezing it for a bit. I put my hands on my head and groaned. “because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. How am I suppose to protect her if she doesn’t tell me anything?” my voice laced with the frustration I have been keeping in.

“Well… first thing is- she can’t be living in her apartment anymore. It’s way too dangerous. Why don’t you let her stay at your place? I think it’s much better. At least security is tighter over there.” Yoochun said thoughtfully as he took another gulp at his drink and took another puff from his cigarette and then squashed it on the ground. My eyes grew wide as my head snapped towards him. Omona he’s right. She can’t be living there. It’s not safe. I stood up which made Yoochun look at me puzzled. “you’re right…. You’re right Yoochun-na… she can’t be living there alone! i have to go. “ I gulped the last bit of my drink and put out of my cigarette. Yoochun was just smiling at me and my hurried movements. “Aigoo…~ hyung is really in loooove. Wait till I tell the dolphin about this. “ he chuckled and I just glared at him but he was unaffected, still chuckling to himself. “Thanks for listening Yoochun- na!” I waved at him and he waved back and smiled. I ran to my car and quickly started it and drove to ___’s place. I tried calling her but she is not picking up. I hope she’s okay… Mianhe… Mianhe… ____- ah… na… na… babo ya…! Tears are starting to form as the longing kept building up and I couldn’t get home fast enough. Then as if lightning has struck… I realized that home… when I think of home.. it’s with her. She is my home. 

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so cute! i miss all of them together. T-T jae's eyes lol like chocolates! wanna eat them up! <3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHxcjieWxZA

as usual- ITS MY RANTS SECTION! its really rare not to see my author's notes after every chapter... but i use this part to talk to my readers. LOL and of course to rant... >.> well i decided to write a JJ pov because to tell you the truth- i have been struggling how to write chapter 25. i mean i have the story down but i couldnt write it in words.... and THAT is the most difficult for anyone who has limited imagination. aigooo~~ BUT ISN'T JAE THE SWEETEST THING ON THIS DAMN EARTH!?? UGH! I AM JEALOUS AGAIN! how can i be jealous of my own character???!! lol this time though... the words just came so easy and my fingers just kept on typing... kyaaaa~ the last part is really really fangirl worthy. aigooo~~ the next chapter... i have an idea already i just needed to figure out how to write it. LOL KEEP THE COMMENTS COMING !! I SEE WE HAVE NEW READERS AND SUBSCRIBERS! WEEEE!! THANK YOU!! LOVE YOU! <3 PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME IF I TALK TOO MUCH OR MY CHAPTERS ARE MESSY OR.... I TALK TOO MUCH...lol i already said that! OH and for all you...YOOCHUN FANS! THIS ONE IS FOR YOU! <3 don't worry i love the dolphin too. he's the cutest thing ever. LOL AGAIN THANK YOU AND SUBSCRIBE!!