Chapter Fifty One

I once knew a guy with dark brown hair of hints of red.

And he had this strangest habit of making me run.

I told myself that I would stop running, but he always found a way to make me do so. In the beginning, I was running away from him, for I was afraid of something. He was chasing after me and I feared that if he caught me, I wouldn't be able to escape from him.  However, after all this time, I came to a realization that I was terrified of one thing and one thing only. 

That if he chased after me and caught me, I myself would not run away from him, even if it was already time for him to let me go, or maybe, for me to let him go.

This time, I was not running away from him. I was running towards him.

I could have walked, or perhaps, I could have stood still and rested. However, as if every second counted, I chose to run. 
I opted to run anyway. 

I repeatedly took in deep breaths as I crossed the street, going towards the road that led to the school. I was holding a voluminous plastic bag in hand, careful not to hit the passersby with it as it swung back and forth in position. I somehow hated doing errands but upon his request saying he was craving for it, I did. He always forced me to do things, but in the end, I ended up doing them out of will.

So here I was, running errands, and merely running.

I passed through the open gates of the school, where quite various vehicles were parked due to the overflowing number in the parking space of the front lawn. It was the last week of January and the atmosphere was still cold and freezing. Classes had officially concluded and the whole of the school administration was mainly focusing on turnover events and the incoming high school graduation. Though I was panting difficultly enough, I pushed myself to reach the soccer stadium. I could already hear the loudening cheers of the crowd coming from it as I neared the area. 

"Excuse me...sir...ma'am..." I squeezed in between the bodies standing by the accession that led into the stadium proper. The bleachers were fully occupied and some even had to stand up just to witness the turnover soccer game happening at the moment. The crowd of sapphire blue stood up and roared victoriously as the home team scored another goal. Everyone cheered. Everyone rejoiced. Everyone rose up.

Except for that single person still plastered on his seat at the first row bleacher, calmly and quietly watching the game ensuing at the moment.

My gaze softened after pausing for a second, observing him, his glance still far towards the field. After a small smile cascaded on my lips unconsciously, I proceeded towards his spot, bowing and excusing myself from the students as I walked sideward.

He turned to look up at me with his dark brown eyes when he noticed me. His stern expression eased up as he displayed a small, closed smile towards me. He monitored my action with his gaze as I sat beside him, at the spot that he seemingly reserved from me. He then fixated his eyes once more on the game, with his tranquil facade.

"You could have sat at the players' bleachers on the fieldside." My voice was louder than what I would normally use, making sure that the statement was audible enough because of the thunderous atmosphere surrounding us. "It's too crowded here. Besides, you will have better view of the game-"

He craned his head towards my direction, staring at me with that tamed, mild expression. His lips formed a gentle smile after a couple of seconds. He leaned towards my right ear, with his voice also louder than his usual. "Not being in the spotlight for a while..."

"...it feels good not being in the spotlight for a while."

I faced him fully as I figured out his statemen, blinking idly. 

He resumed. "Without having to compete for a moment. It feels good."

I processed the words in my mind as the words reached my auditory senses, still staring at him. Gradually, a small, soft smile formed on my lips once more. He fixated his eyes at me for a good moment before facing the soccer field again. I continually observed his side profile, taking in his features, almost as if embedding them in my memory. 

In the midst of the overly active crowd, I watched the game in silence, the same way he was viewing it. Albeit the boisterous acclamation of the people around us, him sitting beside me continually made my heart beat loudly...

...and faster...when he slowly reached for my right hand with his left hand, the warmth slowly invading my skin as his palm grazed against mine.

Slowly, he intertwined his fingers with mine. Starting gently...then tightly.

I quickly faced him once more, however, as if it was the most normal thing to be done, he sustained his gaze towards the field, not even minding my reaction.

Or perhaps, he should not even bother with my reaction because I knew, he knew. He knew how my heart would begin leaping and pacing like that of a running entity whenever he did such. Restlessly.

However, still being conscious of the moment, I flashed quick glances around, left and right, trying to observe if someone was noticing the gesture, then finally looking at him. "I'm not really into public displays of affection." I whispered towards him. 

However, I, myself, was hoping he would not let go.

He just smiled, still not even sparing a glance at me, unbreakingly keeping in sight of the event in front. He intensified his hold even more, giving my hand a slight squeeze. However, after a number of seconds, he placed our pursed hands in between us, settling it at the small gap separating us on the bleachers.

The crowd uproared and arose from their seats when the familiar horn sound bellowed, signalling the end of the game. They applauded exuberantly. 

Yet here was a couple, still trapped in their own little world, savouring each other's warmth between them while everything else went about them.

At the second part of the program, with the announcement of the commentator resonating throughout the field, we slowly loosened our grasps on each other's almost at the same time.

I knew he would be needing it. So I stood up but he held me down as his grip tightened once more.

"It's fine." He reassured me.

I partially furrowed my eyebrows, my gaze softening at him once more. I attempted to stand up only for him to suppress me down once more as he tautened his hold.

"Wait for me." He muttered fluidly with an unperturbed, blank expression. "Whatever happens, do not leave this spot..."

"...or I'll sleep in your dorm room tonight, on the same bed."

Even before I could respond to his statement as I remained rooted in my seat, Joonmyeon reached for his crutches settled diagonally on the spot at his right. He slightly furrowed his eyebrows as he supported his frame up on his own. Midway, I assisted him to gain a straight stance on the ground. He held onto the horizontal metal bars of the mobility aid as he placed his weight down it, with his right leg casted up to his thigh fully.

I clenched my jaw to prevent myself from frowning when Joonmyeon looked at me with a soft, reassuring smile again, implying mentally that he would be fine by himself. My right hand was still gently holding onto his left arm, the one that I used to support him up. I was hesitant to let him go, staring at him, still anticipating he would let me help him. 

"It's fine, Myunjae." He spoke firmly and tenderly. "Besides, I wouldn't even go far."

With his expectant expression, gaze boring into mine, I slowly began to disentangle my hand around his upper arm. He displayed a gentle smile as he looked at the cemented ground beneath him. He sighed deeply as he stared ahead of his path. 

He began trudging through his track towards the isle, with the other students providing a walkway for him.

Letting him go. I was having a hard time to let go of him earlier. I feared so many things for I thought I almost lost him once. Or perhaps, I was frightened I might not be able to help him once again. I was afraid he might stumble on his path and fall. I was petrified he might hurt himself. 

I continually monitored him from my spot as he walked away from me. 

It's fine, Myunjae.
I wouldn't even go far.

He was not be able to play during the turnover game albeit he was captain, with the second-in-command player taking his place and leading the team, Park Chanyeol. I subconsciously gave a smile as I watched him on the soccer field from the bleachers as he led the oath taking of the incoming roster of players for the soccer team. 

Many changes would be happening. We would be graduating from high school, transitioning towards the next phase of our lives, perhaps pursuing what we wanted to be, and where we ought to place ourselves in. We were looking forward. We were counting forward. 

Likewise, many changes had happened over a single year. 
Distinct, obvious changes that none had predicted to occur.

The whole student body said that it could have been the greatest news ever published if the rumor-based publication was still running. They were calling it The Story, particularly coining it as The Arena Incident.

After this incident, one of the abrupt changes implemented by the administration was the removal of the all-access privilege from all of the governing bodies of the student council. Another immediate change was the placing of additional metal railings at the back door of the janitor's closet of the Water Arena. Albeit the simplicity of these changes, they would be a steadfast reminder of what had once happened in the Water Arena one night of winter.

Stories had different sides. They may come from different points of view. Misconceptions may emerge due to conflicts of the different presented viewpoints, particularly if the viewpoints were not clearly overlapping with one another. However, misapprehensions often arose if stories were laid out with missing and broken details.

The administration knew many details but not the whole of the story. 

At the moment, no one had not really talked about it. Not me. Not him. In a time of one month, the hearsays gradually toned down. However, if there would be remarkable details that outlined the story, it would have to be the following. In the viewpoint of the students, all they knew was the fact that there were two students found in the Water Arena, one almost beaten to death and one almost drowned to unconsciousness. 

Being a school of untarnished, clear reputation, they prevented from giving out official statements to the media and the general public regarding the incident. With the tumult being raised upon by the parents of the students, particularly people of high social status, all the school could assure was to tighten the security in the school, to hire more security manpower and at the same time, to install additional security systems in the school. The school avoided giving out public apologies since the administration pointed out that it wasn't the school that was at fault, but rather, because of immorality issues of uneducated outsiders that broke inside the school.

The removal of all-access rights from the governing student council members was mainly rooted to the question how the student council president was found inside the establishment. However, if viewed from the student's side, the questions why and how the SC president got in were mainly discarded. For them, the student council president was considered a hero who tried to save the day after some thugs broke in and steal from the facilities of the school. The students knew there were two persons found inside the arena - Kim Joonmyeon and another unknown student.

However, only the school administration knew that these two pertained to students named Kim Joonmyeon and Seo Myunjae.

As to why the story was perceived as a matter of breaking in was basically rooted in the lack of details.

Misconception.

What they did not know was the fact that there was a third player involved in the incident.

The third player that was nowhere to be seen after the incident.

Because of the absence of some details, no one could relate as to why the star taekwondo player, Do Kyungsoo, didn't come back in school after the winter vacation. There were rumors stating that Do Kyungsoo dropped off albeit being in his last year of senior high school. However, because of the implausibility of the previous rumor since he was a graduating student, some formulated that Do Kyungsoo requested to be home-schooled for the rest of the school year, or month perhaps. In contrast, since some students pointed out that no lectures were left to be taught because final examinations had ended last month, they began hypothesizing that Kyungsoo was merely excused, and that he could still graduate, and probably, claim his high school gradaution certificate in secrecy. However, no matter how they attempted to shove their respective hypotheses, none of these statements could be proven true.

After his absences and because of the persistence of some students to find answers, they even began tracing his background, academically and personally.

The most prominent fact they found was that Do Kyungsoo was expelled from his previous school. It involved beating another member of his former taekwondo varsity team, out of personal reasons. Reasons that they were still trying to investigate further.

Some would not even believe these 'hearsays' because Do Kyungsoo didn't seem like the type to execute such thing. Concern, or perhaps, sympathy towards Do Kyungsoo was dominant among the students. Some strongly believed he might have changed and simply pursued the rest of his high school life maintaining a clean record in the general aspect when he transferred to Seoul Elite.

Maybe. Maybe he had changed.

But they still didn't know.

Some things change.
Some things don't.

Some things don't change.
For some things merely reveal.

Probably, Kyungsoo changed. 
Or perhaps, he may not have changed.
Because he might have simply revealed.

I could not determine how long I had been watching Joonmyeon from afar, that the next thing I knew was the fact that the stadium was being cleared off. Like a blurry background in the midst of a cold and partially bright afternoon, people were gradually walking towards the accession, piling out of the stadium.

Even at a far distance from the bleachers, I could see Kim Joonmyeon looking at me as he trudged through the snowy lawn of the soccer field. I know that he was smiling at me although there were vast meters separating us. It was that feeling when you have spent quite a numerous whiles with someone, that with just the way they would gaze at you even from somewhere far, you know what expression they were darting towards you. It was exactly that feeling, the way Kim Joonmyeon was looking at me at the moment.

He continually advanced towards me on the soccer field, still supporting himself up with his crutches. In the midst of the hazy grayscaled background in our own crazy, heart-fluttering little world, Joonmyeon stopped in his track, batting a glance at his far right.

There was a man dressed in a sophisticated corporate suit, around late fifties, with silver streaking his hair of black. He had a stern expression resembling, or probably, inherited by someone I deeply knew. The man walked towards the halted figure on the soccer field. Trailing behind the professional, corporate man was a tall, younger guy with light brown hair, with a face of extreme similarity to the guy's still settled in his spot in the middle of the field, and a woman around the same age as the older corporate man, dressed in sophisticated clothing.

The group stopped in front of Joonmyeon, with the latter silently exchanging glances with them. The guy with the light brown hair stood beside Joonmyeon, patting him on his right shoulder firmly. The woman approached Joonmyeon, with the latter giving a soft closed smile as he felt himself getting engulfed in her embrace.

With the two figures stepping aside, Joonmyeon partially stiffened with a serious expression as he glanced at the older man in front of him. The older man then unyieldingly held a palm in front of him, waiting for the younger guy to shake on his palm.

With still a stoic expression, Joonmyeon was about to lift a hand, with the crutch still supporting him. However, the older man stepped up front closer to him.

He secured Joonmyeon in a tender yet unyielding hug. He patted Joonmyeon on the back twice. After reading the man's lips from the distance, I could partially comprehend what he was speaking.

"You did well, son..."
"...you did well."

If I were to continue his story, in Joonmyeon's point of view, I knew he wanted to return the gesture of the older man, however, his current condition would not allow such as he supported himself up with his crutches.

But I knew he would. Kim Joonmyeon would.

The older man released Joonmyeon, patting the latter on the left shoulder twice again, then speaking out another statement. In return, Joonmyeon smiled firmly, nodding tactfully twice.

With the light brown haired guy assisting Joonmyeon, the four of them began striding through the soccer field, leading to the accession. 

Some things change.

Some broken bonds mend. Some relationships get fixed.

Some things change. In our own crazy, heart-fluttering little world...

I was no longer an editor-in-chief of a rumor-based publication.
Kim Joonmyeon was no longer the perfectly ideal student that everyone knew, which was explicitly started manifesting when he dyed his hair from black to dark brown of hints of red.

Some things change.

In our own crazy, heart-fluttering little world, there would have be the most unplanned change.

A former editor-in-chief falling for the guy with dark brown hair of hints of red.

He did not tell me how long I should wait. 

The soccer stadium had fully been emptied since three hours had already passed after the soccer turnover ceremony ended. The maintenance personnel had already cleared the area. It was almost five in the afternoon this friday. With this phase of the season where ice had been fusing down to liquid, the temperature was lower compared to that of the mid phase of winter. This attributed the fact that the coldness was unusually numbing at this time of the day.

There were no figures in sight at the snowy soccer field. Except for a single body still plastered on its seat at the first row of the audience bleachers. Yours truly.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, rubbing my forearm with my other hand and regulating my breathing because of the freezing condition of the atmosphere. I clenched my jaw to prevent myself from invountary gritting. I stood up and jumped twice in position, trying to generate heat with the movement, and merely because I just felt restless. No matter how hard I tried to shift and squirm in my position, I felt like I could solidify right on the spot because of the intensifying coldness, with the sensation being heightened as the sky gradually lessened in brightness, the sun seemingly setting down the horizon. With the audience bleachers area being relatively darker compared to the soccer field proper due to its roof casting a shadow against the setting sun, I decided to wait on the soccer field.

As I reached the lawn of the soccer field, I headed towards the players' bleachers at the side. Usual of what the maintenance people left in the field, there were about five used-up soccer balls settled beside the bleachers that students often played with during free time. I picked up one of them and I headed towards the middle part of the soccer field. I  decided to pass time as I continually kicked it aimlessly against the blanket of white on the lawn of dark green.

Time indeed had passed because when I glanced at my wristwatch, it was almost thirty minutes past five. The bright sky had turned purplish blue with streaks of dark orange.

I didn't know how long he had been resting, but when I craned my glance towards the players' bleacher, I saw him gently yet sternly watching me. As if realizing I was starting to approach him as I left the soccer ball unattended in the middle of the field, he softened his gaze at me as he placed his hands inside the pockets of his casual dark-blue winter jacket. He sat still, the casted right leg settled in front of him and his pair of crutches neatly leaning on his right side against the edge of the bleacher.

"You know I couldn't answer the question how you still manage to walk around in that condition." I blurted out nonchalantly, sitting at a distance beside him on the bleacher.

"Because I always feel restless." He responded unyieldingly, his gaze still set out far towards the soccer field. I then noticed from my lateral view that he was gazing at me. He resumed speaking, seeing that I had my attention on him. "Something inside always thumps fast. And it consistently bugs me."

I stared at him quietly for a moment, with him also returning the gesture with his dark brown eyes. I shifted my glance towards the soccer field once more, him still gazing at me. I smiled to myself, looking down at my lap, with my left hand fumbling on the black bag settled on my left side. However, I immediately stiffened when I noticed something solid a