Chapter Forty Four

I could not keep count of how many times I got annoyed with Kim Joonmyeon.

To tell you something, there were many types of annoying people that I had met throughout my eighteen years of existence. A huge percentage of them, I met in a span of four consecutive years. High school.

The first type will have to be the painstaking annoying type, which is the type pertaining particularly to people who are not even that close to you yet it seems that they have nothing better and useful to do besides expertly mocking and irritating the hell out of you. This type is perfectly exemplified by the cocky rodent bums. The second type will have to be the freaking annoying type, which is mainly rooted from their very odd and unusual habits and routine. This type includes Daehyun and the derp twins. This type of annoyance is volatile. It can come and go. Although they and their habits annoy you big time, you find them adorable nonetheless because you consider them ones of your close friends. The third type will be the retaliatory annoying type. This type normally doesn't annoy you but when it does, that is when you feel being so. They say things to tease you, call you nicknames, and do staring games before declaring which one of you will carry the luggage. But when they stop doing so, you are back to being bestfriends once again and talk about how their day went at the publishing house, chat about their newly bought dress, or about their up-and-down crazy lovelife. They annoy you but you love them nonetheless. Because it’s your family, your sibling. It’s your sister.

I thought my list of annoying types of people has already been completed. However, when I thought I could have finished high school meeting all types of people, specifically meeting all types of annoying people, and when I thought I would be exiting this phase of being an eighteen year-old in the twisted world of teenagers, teasings, games, and crushing, something was added.

Something happened.

It was added. 
The type that is downright annoying. 

Downright annoying.  When, how, why. These are mainly the three types of questions that will make you wonder how they managed to get on your nerves. You couldn't remember the day and the moment it happened. It just did. Or maybe, it was due to the mere fact that there wasn't simply  that day and that time that it started to irk you off. After the first meeting and after the countless times you have seen and interacted with this type, you couldn't actually remember the second it annoyed you. There may have been the first prank, the second prank or the third prank, but you still couldn't decipher when was the actual time it began irritating you.

It just happens.
They just happen. 

You couldn't also point out where they annoy you - your sense of hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, tasting - you couldn't know and never will. You couldn't decipher how to get rid of them either. Or perhaps, the idea of getting rid of them never once crossed your mind. Because deep down inside, you know that just as how things were different before they started annoying you, it would also be how things would end up differently after they stopped annoying you. Or probably, much more different.

If that type stopped annoying you, you couldn't decipher what to feel exactly. You simply couldn't tell whether you would feel happy, free, and unrestricted, as if a heavy burden was being lifted off of you, or whether you would feel down, dull, and disappointed, as if you wanted to imply that the annoyance they inflicted on you didn't affect you at all in a bad way. As if indirectly saying you can bug me all you want. It may sound cheesy, but undeniably, you miss those little irritating deeds. 

I admit, I had never interacted with this type of annoying people, or person to be exact. I had never interacted with such type of person personally. Not until my senior year in high school. Autumn. Friday. 

Downright annoying. 

Downright annoying. 
Bothersome annoying. 
Crazily annoying. 

Heart-fluttering annoying. 

They annoy you.
They bug you.

And I could never keep count of how many times I got annoyed with Kim Joonmyeon.

All those teasings. All those pranks. All those games.
I got annoyed. Bothered. Bugged.

And I still couldn't tell how long I would stay mad at him.

Because to tell the truth...I was never truly mad at Kim Joonmyeon. 

I may have been annoyed.
I may have been bugged.

I may have been hurt. 
One time. Too many times.

Just like how he got hurt when he mispresumed that I was the one who broke him. Once. Twice.
But just like how many times I told myself that I should hate him…I could not bring myself to. 

I was never mad.
Never mad at Kim Joonmyeon.

All of those things might have happened unnaturally for the past few months. But there should be something that must have happened naturally. 

Actually, there is and I am sure of it.

I fell for Kim Joonmyeon.

He annoyed me.
He bugged me.
But it was inevitable.
I fell for him nonetheless.

I  fell for him.

And if ever he stops bugging me, I’ll have to kick his arse.
But to be honest if he does stop bugging me for good, nothing would be the same again.

But how would you be able to face someone who had hurt you?
Is being hurt easier to overcome than being mad at someone?

"...this will be the last time I'll be bugging you."

I slowly opened my eyes to the faint sound of the gentle voice that echoed in my ears. Was it real? Or was it just playing in my mind? My eyes were still sore and warm from all the tears I shed for the past three hours...twelve hours? Or a day before? My mind could still not form cohesive thoughts as of the moment, with my body, mind, and heart all feeling numb, that I couldn't even bring myself to lift a finger. I heard the voice, but my mind could not form the image of the person who uttered the statement.

I stayed still in my position as I simply stared at the ceiling above me, a plain, dull white in color. I felt the familiar cold breeze of the wind hitting the exposed areas of my skin. Was it the morning wind or was it the night breeze? I followed the source of the lightly blowing breeze, with my head weakly turning to my left side, and I saw the seemingly soft white curtains fluidly being carried by the wind passing through the windows as they formed smooth waves like water in the ocean. The sky was dark with a few stars in sight. Then I realized. It was night. And it was November. The onset of winter.

My mind remained blank. However, I was quite not sure whether I was doing it on purpose, or simply because my mind was too tired to remember anything. My body too tired to do anything. My heart too tired to feel anything. The exhaustion was still taking over my body, with all of my strength still drained. As if I had done something too strenuous, as if running numerous miles. No. It would be an understatement. Perhaps, it was as if I had run miles, too many or just simply way beyond my capacity. However, I knew myself. I knew my capabilities and my limits. But why did I feel like I had just run an extra mile or too many extra miles? I must have been forced to. I must have been.

Small, seemingly nonsensical questions started running in my mind. I still could not move but why? Was I afraid that if I moved, all the energy that I had regained would be immediately spent once again? Or was I just afraid that I would be forced to run again? I ran quite numerous times before, but I knew when to stop. But if running beyond capacity, you would find yourself being worn out, and soon, you would get tired. And possibly, be hurt.

The moment I heard a couple of voices giggling and another voice shushing the light laughing noises down, I gently redirected my gaze to their direction.

"I told you two to tone it down," the girl with the familiar long, black hair, pale white skin, and tamed yet snobby-looking expression, seated on the couch by the wall on my right side, darted an irritated expression towards the two guys seated at the wooden dining set on my far left. It was Hyejin.

The two guys, with those recognizably derpy, smiling expressions, laughing subtly while looking at the flat, white gadgets in their hands as if watching something on them, quickly suppressed their laughter after hearing the warning that Hyejin gave. They were Chanyeol and Baekhyun. 

I continued observing the two guys seated at the table when a voice called my name out. I slowly batted a look at the direction of the voice and I realized that Hyejin stood up from her seat and began striding towards me. 

"Myunjae," she uttered with a smile as she sat at the right side of my bed. "Feeling better now?"

As if noticing that I was indeed awake already, the two derps settled their gadgets on the table and proceeded towards my left side, with Baekhyun sitting on the edge, and Chanyeol, rooted in his spot, still standing up, crossing his arms in front of him as he gazed down at me with a small, closed smile.

However, I still remained motionless and expressionless, and I couldn't even decode why. My lips remained pursed for a moment while internalizing their faces and expressions, the question, and my surrounding.

I realized I was inside my room in the resthouse at the ski resort. We were still at the ski resort.

Chanyeol went back towards the dining table and got the tray of food and water settled on it, carrying it effortlessly as he walked towards my bed.

"You need to eat, Myunjae," Baekhyun reminded me with a worried expression. "Let me help you sit up."

I blankly and freely followed his statement as I settled up from my lying position, slightly shifting my back towards the headboard, with Hyejin rearranging the pillow to support my back against the furnished wooden platform of the bed. I was still trembling. Tired. Fatigued. With my mouth still feeling dehydrated. Baekhyun got the tray from Chanyeol and settled it on my lap. And for a moment, I did feel like a completely helpless person.

I looked blankly at the tray and the food on it. Seeing that I was nowhere near touching the food, Hyejin took hold of the bottle of mineral water, opened it, and gestured for me to drink it. Still feeling unprecise of my movements, my hand carefully headed towards the bottle and grasped it. I slowly brought the mouth of the colorless bottle up to my lips and hesitated to take a sip from it. After taking the first gulp, that was when I realized that it was what my body needed at the moment. As if I had forgotten to breath, I finished its contents all in one go.

"So who's gonna feed her?" Chanyeol asked Baekhyun, who just looked up at the standing figure of the former.
"Maybe we should let this Bratz girl do it." Baekhyun spat as he darted a mocking look at Hyejin. "Besides, you were arguing earlier that girl bestfriends are better than guy ones, right, missy?"
"First off, it's true. And heck, guy friends can't even help out on girl issues." Hyejin bickered, crossing her arms in front of her.
"FYI. We know Myunjae better than you do. So…" Chanyeol uttered. "...back off, sister."
"Yes. Maybe you do. Oh wait, right. My mistake. Not 'guy' friends, but 'gay' friends."
"You brat. What did you say?!" Baekhyun retorted, glaring at Hyejin.

Hyejin got one of the oranges from the tray and hit Baekhyun on the collarbone.

Baekhyun hissed, feeling the part of his collarbone that was hit. "That ain't funny, Taekwondo girl." Baekhyun went to get the other orange from the tray.

"Hey, Justin Gay-ber." Hyejin assumed a fighting stance from her seat with her hands. "Hit me with that or I'll suicide bomb your World 2.0."
"One. I'm not gay. Two, I'm more gorgeous than Bieber. Three, this is for Myunjae." Baekhyun replied, as he began peeling the orange in his hand.
"Really, you're not gay?" Hyejin taunted, as if eyeing Baekhyun and Chanyeol on purpose, making it obvious for the two of them. The two j