Chapter Thirty Nine

My body tensed up at his words. Out of disgust. Out of fear. I have a strange feeling about what he’s gonna do next. But I had to stay composed, still seeing whether I could converse properly with him.

“Kyungsoo,” I spoke with my voice growing much hoarser and raspier. “Why are you doing this?”

He tightened his left arm around my waist, leaning his face closer to mine, with him, caressing my cheek lightly with the back of his right pointer finger that it was beginning to sicken me.

He smirked at me once more, eyeing my lips before shifting his gaze back to my eyes. 

“Myunjae,” he faintly beamed. “Don’t ask why. I know you have also been looking forward to this moment. I, myself, have been looking forward to this moment.”

Maybe before.
But not like this.

And now, yes, probably, not like this.
And probably, not with someone like him.

Not with him.

I started furrowing my eyebrows at him as I noticed his right hand tracing the curve of the left of my waist and slowly transitioning to the lower of my back.

“Kyungsoo, stop.” I pushed him on the chest with so much force. However, his left arm just leeched much more around my waist, and I realized he was now the fabric of my jacket behind me.

“I SAID STOP!” With all of my remaining strength, I held his forearm on my side to loosen it from my waist, pushing him away from me.

His body jerked as he threw a couple of steps backward, but his gaze never left mine. Intimidating, intense gaze.

“I never thought you’ll be this feisty, Myunjae.” He flashed a taunting smirk as he began taking steps towards me once again. On reflex, I started backing off. 

“It’s …even more.”

I started observing any free path around our spot subtly, planning to escape any moment, and I found one on my far left. Before I could even lift a foot off the ground, Kyungsoo grabbed my right wrist, proceeding his body forward and slammed my back against a tree trunk.

“Myunjae, stop escaping.” He glared at me, whispering. “How many times do I have to tell you…It’s just only us.”

“Kyungsoo, let go of me!” I attempted tugging my wrist down, away from his grasp, however, he held on much forcefully.

I was about to hit him on the shoulder to push him off of me but he caught  my left hand and locked it on my side.

“Let go!” I attempted struggling to break away from his warmth. “Kyungsoo, let go of me!”

He continued detaining me in my current position. However, his gaze was now becoming much burdened…and for a moment, I thought I saw agony.

“Myunjae, stop struggling.”
“Release me, Kyungsoo!”
“Stop. Please.”
“Let me go!”

“STOP, MYUNJAE! STOP!”

His voice echoed through the cold, peaceful demeanor of the night. 

I stopped struggling.

He continued looking at me in the eyes with a tamed yet breaking expression. Mixed with rage.
Kyungsoo suddenly held me on both upper arms and brought my frame closer to his.

“I’ve been liking you ever since sophomore year, Myunjae. You didn't know how happy I was when I knew you feel the same.”

He grasped my arms even more against the fabric of my jacket.

“Kyungsoo, you’re hurting me-”
“No, Myunjae. You’re the one who's hurting me!” He cut me off mid-sentence. “Until now…you’re hurting me.”

“Can’t you see it, Myunjae?! You like me and I like you! But I can’t f.ucking decode why you have to go to that two-faced bastard! You’re mine...”

“...and mine only.”

“No, Kyungsoo. I’m no-”
“Not mine? No one’s?” He continued for me. “…not Joonmyeon’s?”

He whispered with his voice cracking. “Stop denying it, Myunjae.”
“It pains me so much…”

“…it pains me so much that you fell for him.”

I couldn’t move my lips to protest…to counter the statement.
He searched my eyes for a moment. As if waiting for a response.

I wasn’t quite sure why, but I slowly shook my head to the sides.

Denial...

Or maybe…just maybe…
I did…

Maybe, I did.
Maybe, I did fall for Kim Joonmyeon.

His voice grew much softer, yet assertive, and still pained. “Why can’t it be me, Myunjae? Tell me…”
“…why not me?”

I still couldn’t give a response…

He just…
Kim Joonmyeon just…

Hearing no form of reply from me, he gripped my arms with so much strength once again, bringing my frame nearer to him.

“You like me, Myunjae! Me. Tell me I’m the one you want!”

No, Kyungsoo.
Stop. Please.

I didn't know why I still couldn’t answer him. 

I just might say…it’s not him.
And I just might admit…that it’s Kim Joonmyeon.
However, I’m scared….and hurt…

How will I be able to utter such, when ‘we’ gave up already even before ‘we’ could?

He gave up.
Kim Joonmyeon gave up.

“I’ll never leave you, Seo Myunjae.”

Then I noticed something warm cascading down my cheek. Something fluid.

I was crying.

Scared by the guy in front of me.
Hurt by the guy away from me.

“But he left you, Myunjae. He left you in ruins. He hurt you. And you came running to me in the end. It is me. And now, it is just us. Without Kim Joonmyeon in the picture. Why can’t you just look at me? Why can’t you just-”
“Kyungsoo, STOP-”

“HOW CAN I STOP WHEN I HAVE BECOME OBSESSED WITH YOU?!”

Every sound in the surrounding thinned out as Kyungsoo silently glanced at me.

He continued. “I thought it was just a simple crush on you. You don’t know how tiring it was for me to follow you around. Everyday. At school. At the dorm. Following you…it has become addictive. So addictive that I can’t just let go of you. It became an addiction to me, Myunjae.”

“I did everything, Myunjae. Everything.”
“You’re insane, Kyungsoo. You have really gone out of your mind!”

Why haven’t I noticed this before?
Why only now?

He faced the ground for a number of seconds, laughed to himself, and glanced at me again with a serious expression.

“Yes, Myunjae. You can call me insane…”
“…obsessed. Because I might just be obsessed with you, Myunjae.”

He enclosed the tiniest gap in between us, securing me against his body and the wooden structure behind me. He inched his face closer to mine.

“So tell me, Myunjae…who deserves you more?”

Frightening.
Shuddering.

“It will never be you!” I pushed him off me but he just slammed me back onto the trunk.

He smirked to himself once again before darting me an intense gaze, distancing himself away slightly, with his hands still clutching onto my limbs.

“You know, Myunjae,” he muttered using his intimidating dark tone. “I’m just happy to see Kim Joonmyeon fall to his demise...”

“...that b.astard more than deserves to go to hell with the footage back at the Oh's residence.”

My heart stopped.
Kyungsoo knows something…

“Wh-what did you say?” I retorted weakly at him.
“Now, you’re listening, huh?” He mocked me, with a still frustrated expression. “But there’s nothing that can be done now, right?”

He proceeded with satisfaction in his voice. “I’m broken. He’s broken...you’re broken.”
He continued smirking amidst the infuriated and enquiring expression I was showing him.

“That doesn’t matter now, does it? He’s out of the picture. And you are here. With me. All alone. So stop hesitating, because I’m not gonna let you go-”

There are so many questions lingering in my mind. Old ones...and new ones.
But I simply can’t take this anymore.

With all my might, I broke free from his grasp and hit him on his temple with the flashlight I was holding. In the process, I released the flashlight from my hand. I heard Do Kyungsoo slightly grunt in pain, clutching onto his temple. I was about to dash towards the free path to my left but he tripped me on my left foreleg. I stumbled almost face-first to the ground. I was about to stand up when Kyungsoo placed his weight behind me, with me still lying on my stomach on the soil. He locked me in place as he seemingly placed a forearm against my upper back.

He seemingly lowered his head to my left ear and mumbled dangerously. “Why do you keep on escaping from me? I’m not gonna hurt you, Myunjae-”

No, Kyungsoo. You’re insane.

I had long been holding the pen that I fished out from my pocket minutes ago, gathered strength and shifted to my side to get the body trapping me down off of me. I stood up but he grabbed my left ankle. I directed the point of the pen towards him and stabbed his hand on reflex. I heard him hiss, holding that hand as I made my way towards the free path.

Running.
Sprinting.

However, he immediately stood up and trailed, not running, but walking behind me. I continued dashing away from his spot.
“You can’t hide from me, Myunjae.” He spoke loudly, as if warning me. “No one’s coming here. You can run but I will find you.”

“You are mine, Myunjae. You are supposed to be mine.”

I continued running. I didn’t know where I was headed, as long as I could distance myself away from him. Further into the woods.

Cold. Dark.
I was shivering and panting. With the tears on my cheeks all dried up.

Angered. Frightened. Helpless. I wanted a way out. Out of the woods.

Out of Do Kyungsoo.
Out of Kim Joonmyeon.

I needed a way out of everything.

I didn’t know how long I had been running. As if I was just roaming aimlessly within the maze of the woods. I was starting to lose strength and courage. However, I pushed myself. The cold winter breeze had become more ruthless. Freezing my skin and body. 

It was also becoming more difficult for me to breath. 
With my heart still clenching.

Vulnerable due to the intensifying cold.
Vulnerable due to the lack of protection.

But I have to survive and get out.

“Right now, you’re on your own.”

I was growing weary and hopeless as I pursued a way out. 
Running and running in an endless circle.

I stopped.

With only the howling wind and rustling leaves recognizable for my sense of hearing.
With these sounds being dominated by a single set of heartbeat. Mine.

“Right now, you’re on your own.”

I thought I was about to cry once again. But not now.

Not for Do Kyungsoo.
Not for Kim Joonmyeon.

I glanced at my surroundings, all calm and tranquil. Yet dim and gloomy.
To no avail, I couldn’t decipher whether I had gone nearer or farther the site.

However, I immediately flinched when I heard a set of footsteps.
And a voice calling me out.

“Myunjae, you can’t hide from me forever.” 

I grew much tenser after realizing that Do Kyungsoo was becoming nearer my spot. With my heart beating in abnormal paces. I am afraid.

“Myunjae…”

I clenched my jaw at the sound of my name once again. With every fiber of me wanting to shudder out of fright and disgust.

“…I told you I’ll find you, didn’t I? I’ll keep my promise…again.”

I ran once again.
I was losing vigour and composure with every step I was taking.

For a short while, the footsteps following me subsided. I think I lost him.

I gradually halted running, placing my hand on my thigh to take a breeze, and to observe and confirm that I, indeed, lost Kyungsoo in trail. However, I couldn’t help but notice the, once again, grotesque scary-looking trees in this area of the mountain. It was completely dark and it was draining every courage and guts I had left in me.

However, I didn’t see it coming – a palm covered my nose and lips from behind, snatching me away from the spot I was standing on. I felt my light frame being seized from the ground without any difficulty, with an arm s in front of me. Then the next thing I felt was complete darkness swallowing me as I noticed my body being hidden away from the path, carrying me towards a thick trunked tree slightly far from the trail, and taking cover behind it. 

No. Not like this, Do K