Chapter Forty Three

Agreement.

The moment the word escaped from the lips of the guy still rooted in his spot a number of meters away from us, I began feeling a sudden gush of emotions stabbing me all at once from the inside. For a moment, I started feeling an indescribable painful blow to my heart. Hatred? Fear? Betrayal? I still could not pinpoint which. 

Joonmyeon tightened his grasp on my hand he was still holding. He was still unmoved from his position, clenching his jaw and slightly furrowing his eyebrows, staring at the path ahead of us. Before I could turn around to face Kyungsoo to reconfirm his statement with a question, I felt my body being shoved to the side, making Joonmyeon release me in the process, finding myself staggering to the ground.

Kyungsoo harshly placed a hand on Joonmyeon's shoulder, spinning the latter in position. Kyungsoo's fist abruptly met Joonmyeon's left cheek, sending Joonmyeon flinching to his side, towards the ground. Even before Joonmyeon could completely stand as he supported himself up from the ground while clutching onto his jaw,  Kyungsoo kicked Joonmyeon on his back, with the latter's body front being met with ground.

"KYUNGSOO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I shouted from my spot as I slowly supported myself up from the ground with my elbow. My body was still weak due to the tiredness and fatigue that was still lingering inside me. Thirst, hunger, cold. I was still trembling with the chilling demeanor of the morning. Probably due to  the traumatic scene last night replaying in my mind once again. Perhaps, due to the view I am witnessing in front of me.

Kyungsoo did not budge with my statement as he kicked Joonmyeon on his side, making the latter flip on the ground, with Joonmyeon's back now against the cold dirty ground beneath him. With Joonmyeon partially grunting in pain, placing a hand on the side of his waist that received the blow, Kyungsoo hunkered down on Joonmyeon's body, with one knee on the ground and a foot settled on the other side, locking Joonmyeon in position. He grabbed the hem of Joonmyeon's jacket by the collar, lifting Joonmyeon's upper body up, glaring at the latter.

"You son of a b.itch. We had an agreement!" Kyungsoo punched Joonmyeon on the side of his face once again, with a cracking sound being heard. Joonmyeon's head cocked to the side, the same direction as the hit, away from my spot. Kyungsoo tightened his hold on the fabric he was still , forcing the latter to face him. However, Joonmyeon did not look at him, still glancing at the ground beside him. Like a guilty person who knows that he is.

Kim Joonmyeon was not fighting back. 
Receiving the hits without any protest.
As if he earned them. Like a penalty for a crime done. 
A punishment.

Mostly, as if he needed them to knock himself out of his senses.

Kyungsoo was about to lift his fist up once again...

"STOP!" I shouted with my voice uncontrollably shaking. 

For a number of reasons.
Kyungsoo beating Joonmyeon.
Joonmyeon being beaten in front of me. 

Pain.
Fear.
Anger.

Towards Do Kyungsoo.
But mostly, towards Kim Joonmyeon. 

I noticed my vision getting saturated with something fluid and hazy. It was warm, but not enough to garner heat needed against the temperature of the atmosphere. Not enough to vent out the wave of heavy emotions pouring down at me.

"Stop, please." I repeated in a much weaker yet trembling tone as I looked at Kyungsoo, with tears continually drenching my cheeks.

Kyungsoo brought his fist down as his infuriated glare softened the moment he laid his eyes on me. There were so many things that glance was screaming towards me. Hatred. Betrayal. Dominantly....pain.

Kyungsoo looked at the ground beside him for a short moment. He released Joonmyeon from his grasp, slightly pushing him in the process, with the latter's weak upper body meeting the ground once again. Kyungsoo stood up from his position, walked to a nearby tree trunk, brushing his hair back with a hand in a manner as if out of frustration. He then hit the wooden trunk with his fist. He might had been hurt, as I saw his knuckles being wounded in the process the moment he brought his hand down to his side. However, he did not seem to mind it, as if there was something in the world that could have hurt more.

This is too much for Joonmyeon.
This is too much for Kyungsoo.

This is too much for me.

Too much.
Too much for my eyes to see.
Too much for my heart to feel.

Horrified, angered, pained, I brought my palm to my lips, muffling my weak sobs as I scurried back in my position on the ground, away from the two of them. At that moment, I wanted to be protected. But when I began feeling that someone finally came to my rescue, I just had to know that he was working with the villain all this time. I didn’t know whom to run to. I was confused and I felt being lied to.

Joonmyeon started weakly supporting himself up to a sitting position, with an arm hovered on his abdomen. He continued glancing away from me, watching the ground on his other side. As if avoiding my glance on purpose.

With gaze still directed to the ground beneath him, Kyungsoo spoke much calmly, although his voice remained firm and dark. "The agreement was simple, Joonmyeon. It was simple. Too simple for a  smart two-faced b.astard like you."

Still plastered on his seated position on the ground, slowly pulling his right knee up and settling his right arm on it, and with head still hung low to himself, Joonmyeon started mumbling. "Kyungsoo. Not now."

Kyungsoo, looking at the ground beneath him, did not respond. He shifted his enraged glance to Joonmyeon. "Not now? Do you know how pathetic you sound like right now?"

"Kyungsoo. Not now." Joonmyeon responded again weakly, still not looking at Kyungsoo. "She will know. But not now."

Kyungsoo smirked shortly  before putting up a serious expression once more. "Not now? Not now? So you can get away with this like an innocent clean-handed clergy man?" He continued. "SHE SHOULD F.UCKING KNOW! SHE SHOULD KNOW HER PLACE RIGHT NOW!"

I wanted to ask the both of them so many questions. However, it seemed like my tongue had been cut and I couldn't bring myself to utter a single word. I wanted to run as if I was feeling unprepared to hear about the truth. At the same time, I wanted to stay. I wanted to confront both of them and tell me why I felt being played like an oblivious b.itch who was unaware of their game all this time. As much as a huge part of me was telling to run away, my body wasn't cooperating too well, with my body itself telling me that I was too tired running around in circles, with all the game, with all the lies...

Probably, around Do Kyungsoo.
Maybe, around Kim Joonmyeon.

...with the agreement that they had kept from me for too long.

Kyungsoo started striding toward me with that cold gaze of his. On reflex, I started backing away from him on the ground. I was too tired and too weak. Even to stand. Even to stand for myself. Even to escape. I hit a tree trunk with my back. As he continued approaching me, I tried gathering all my strength to stand up and run. No. I was too tired. To run. Even to walk. Because all this time, I was running. Being forced to run in the maze they have so created.

Kyungsoo bent down shortly, holding me gently yet unyieldingly on my upper arms as he steadied me up against the tree trunk. The hold was gentle, as if to prevent me from breaking, yet unyielding, so as to prevent me from escaping. I eyed Kim Joonmyeon on the ground for a second, on the spot a distance away from Kyungsoo and me. However, he did not bat a glance at our direction. 

Why, Joonmyeon?
Why are you not fighting back?
Fighting back for yourself...fighting back for me?

"I am here, Myunjae...I'm here."

You are here, Joonmyeon...but you keep on distancing yourself away.

I didn't know where my tears were coming from. I knew my eyes had no more tears to cry out. However, it seemed like it was coming out of the emotions I had once feared of being released, bottling up, and now exploding out. 

"Myunjae, look at me." Kyungsoo prompted me to look at him in a soft tone. I redirected my gaze from Joonmyeon to the ground beside me. "Look at me, please."

"LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME AGAIN!" Kyungsoo started shouting as he held my frame tighter and closer to him. "I DID EVERYTHING BUT WHY CAN'T YOU LOOK AT ME, MYUNJAE?!" 

"Kyungsoo-" Joonmyeon warned Kyungsoo, as he now stood up weakly from his spot, still clutching onto his side due to the hit.

"SHUT THE F.UCK UP, JOONMYEON!" Kyungsoo spat at Joonmyeon, glaring back at the latter. "YOU ALREADY MESSED UP EVERYTHING. IT'S TIME I TAKE CONTROL ON MY OWN." 

Kyungsoo faced me once again, still holding onto me forcefully, with his eyebrows slightly creasing, speaking with an intimidating tone.  "Yes, Myunjae. We had an agreement. I was going to make you admit. Do you think after following and scavenging information about you, I won't know? You like me. But that's not going to stop there. And that b.astard agreed to make you do so, in exchange for that d.amn footage at the Oh's residence."

I knew something was wrong. I wanted to find out before. 

But now that it was being spilled out in front of me,