Yoochun's P.O.V.


Eric and Yunho were kissing. I stared for what seemed like minutes, but has only been a moment. As they pulled apart Eric gave Yunho a genuine smile, but then looked straight at me. I let out a small gasp and quickly turned around and started running away.


Eric's P.O.V.


I smiled at Yunho, I finally managed to go through that kiss normally. I knew that was the way I wanted to do it, the way it should be like in the movie. But then I looked over his shoulder and widened my eyes in horror. Yoochun saw us. And I knew exactly what he was thinking.


Yoochun's P.O.V.


"Yoochun!" I heard him calling me, running after me. I didn't want to stop, I didn't want to look back, but I didn't even have strength to run. I've been running away from him for so long, I just couldn't take it anymore.

I never was a coward, but ever since I met Eric I became one. Maybe coward wasn’t the right word for what I was. I couldn't even define myself anymore. Was I protecting Junjin? Was I protecting Eric? Or was I protecting myself. I was never afraid of getting hurt, but I knew that this time was different. However, I was hurting for months now. I thought nothing worse can happen... nothing that can make me hurt more. But I was obviously wrong.

"Yoochun, stop." He finally reached me and grabbed my arm, turning me around to face him. I looked at him as he fought to regain his normal breathing. "It's not what you think." He said looking back at me.

"You don't know what I think." I replied trying to sound as coldly as possible, although it hurt too. He continued to watch me, his facial expression changing slightly as the look of hurt covered his face.

"I... Yunho and I are practicing for Wannie's movie." He replied. Deep down I knew he wasn't lying to me, I just... I had to stop this.

"Whatever Eric... it's not something that should interest me anyway." I said and swallowed slightly, feeling tears coming to my eyes. Great. Now I'll have to fight them as well. He looked so hurt.

"But I want to explain it to you, I want it to interest you." He replied.

"Well, it doesn't." I said. I was hoping he won't be able to see I was lying. "Listen Eric... let's stop this, alright?" I continued. I was hoping he won't be able to see how much I was hurting. "Let's just not... talk, see each other, anything..."

"Yoochunah... I... I like you, I told you that already. I said that in front of everyone. I... I don't know what to do anymore... tell me what to do, I'll do anything." He sounded so desperate.

"Leave me alone." I replied.

"Are you listening to me?" he asked again, raising his voice slightly. "Yoochun, I love you."

I was surprised I didn't break down right then and there. I didn't start crying, I didn't give away myself. Instead I said the biggest lie ever... I broke my own heart.

"I don't love you." I whispered and walked away from him as quickly as possible, making sure not to turn back. My mouth could lie, but my eyes... my tears couldn't.


Changmin's P.O.V.


I heard him when he came back to our room. My back was facing him, so he couldn't see I was awake. I heard him taking off his shoes and clothes and then going to the bathroom. I heard when he stumbled inside and cursed, forgetting what time it was. I looked at the clock and sighed at the late hour. Soon after he exited the bathroom and fell onto his bed, almost instantly falling asleep.

It has been like that for whole month already. Ever since we came back from winter holidays we've been acting like strangers around each other. Maybe it was better that way. I knew that I'd be hurt a lot worse if he was insisting on our little games from before.

Now, we were just roommates who were studying together, spending time together on classes. But only physically. We've been practicing after classes, together with Yoochun. Nothing really changed with the way we spent our time, but our relationship... it was completely different.

And every night he would go out, get drunk, hook up with some random girl. The whole campus was talking about Kim Junsu going back to his old lifestyle. Even becoming a bigger player then before. Surrounded with girls all the time, people easily labeled him as 'straight version of Lee Minwoo'. The difference was that Minwoo quit being a wh.ore, while Junsu just seemed to get started being one.

I was trying to swallow every tear that threatened to spill. At first it was hard and I was making sure to finish my crying before he came back. As much as I didn't want to I couldn't stop myself. Just like I couldn’t stop waiting for him every night.

I waited for some time, already knowing when he'd fall asleep. When was safe enough to turn around and look at him. He still slept like an angel. And I still watched him liked that night.

I still felt the same love as then.


Yunho's P.O.V.


"Eric, I'm so sorry." I said again, rubbing my best friend's back as he continued to cry. We've been friends for so many years and I never saw him this hurt. I never saw him cry. At least not like this.

"It's not your fault." He looked absolutely hopeless. He was making me feel like crying, just because I couldn't recognize him. This wasn't my best friend, the happy, bubbly dork named Eric Moon. This was completely different person and I didn't know what to do to bring the old Eric back. To fix things and make it all better.

I hugged him and waited for him to fall asleep. I really felt bad. Not because of what Yoochun saw, we all knew it was just a part of our rehearsal. I felt bad because I knew there was nothing I could do. I felt so helpless.


Dongwan's P.O.V.


"Thanks." Hyesung said suddenly and I looked up from my book.

"What for?" I asked, slightly confused and he stood up from his seat in front of his canvas and walked over to me.

"For staying with me tonight." He said simply and sat down next to me. I smiled.

"Silly Sungie..." I chuckled putting my arm around him.

"It's weird to see you read something that doesn't have anything to do with your movie or college... it's weird to see you relax." He continued.

"You're making it sound like it's a bad thing." I laughed.

"No, just... I'm glad." He shrugged.

"Well, I needed a day without thinking about it all." I smiled. "We have a busy week ahead of us."

"You're still not going to tell me anything about it." I shook my head. "Not even when it's gonna be finished?"

"Well... you'll just have to be patient." I smiled.

"You always say that." He pouted and I chuckled, leaning to kiss his forehead.

"Sungie, trust me."

"You know I always do." He smiled kissing my cheek and went back to his painting.

Of course I know, Sungie. That's just another one of the many reasons I fell in love with you.


Junsu's P.O.V.


I woke up first again. Ever since we came back to college I've been doing my best to always disappear from our room before he wakes up. It means getting up before everyone else, but I don't care. I just don't want to be there when he wakes up, I don't want to be alone with him. I'm waking up first and I'm coming back last. He's sleeping either way.

I watch him sleep. Always. It's better that way, even though I'm torturing myself. I sleep with girls I don't know. I would never sleep with some guy... other then him. I'm straight. Yeah, I am. Having feelings for him doesn't mean a thing. And I'm doing my best to suppress those feelings, to forget about them. I'm trying to move on, but it doesn't go like that. I can't do it. At least not that easily.

We get along. We don't talk, but at least we don't fight. I miss our fights. They became a part of my life, my weakness. I don't miss our fights, sadly I just miss him. I miss the jerk who made a fool out of me. I let him do so. It's my fault, I let him into my heart. Those girls... no one can push him out of it now. I just don't know what to do.

As I walk out of the door I glance at him one more time. He looks so peaceful, although it looks like he hasn't slept well in a while. My imagination is doing it to me again. I want to believe he's suffering because of me. But I know it can't be true. And no matter how much I'd love to believe in that, I'd love to think about that and make myself feel satisfied with it I just can't. Even that... hurts.

Every morning a sad realization hits me. I can't get over it, I can't move on.

I can't stop loving him.


Junjin's P.O.V.


"Hi." Yunho smiled walking up to me after his class. Our daily routine, coffee time.

"Hi." I replied, not wanting to think about last night. I knew that I won't be able to hold that inside of me. We started walking. In silence.

"Are you okay?" he asked after a couple of minutes. I sighed.

"We need to talk." I replied looking at him.

"Alright." He nodded. "Want to wait till we go to Heechul's?"

"I don't want to go to Heechul's." I said, stopping suddenly. He looked at me, confused and stopped as well. I paused, not knowing how to start. "I saw you yesterday." I finally said. "I saw you kissing Eric."

"Oh..." he said with a small smile.

"Oh?" I cut him off. "You were kissing Eric, Yunho." I raised my voice, losing my temper a bit.

"Yeah, I kissed him, but..." he started again.

"I don't care. You kissed him!" I yelled. "I... I didn't expect that from you. I seriously can't believe you did that." So much for controlling myself.

"Junjin, let me explain..." he started again.

"No! How could you?" I was trying to stop myself from crying. It hurt. It hurt last night and now it hurt even more. "I thought I mean more to you. I thought that's something you wouldn't do to me. Out of all people you're the one I trusted the most. I thought you care about me more..."

"I do care about you, you're just blind. God, Jin, you're so blind!" he cut me off now, yelling back. "I kissed your precious Eric. It was a rehearsal. We have a kissing scene in Dongwan's movie. There... you happy now?" he finished. I was speechless. "I'm sick of this. There is absolutely nothing I can do to make you stop looking at Eric and actually see me. There is nothing that can make you see that Eric doesn't want you, but I do. I should just stop making a fool out of myself and... I can't take this anymore Jin. I can't live like this and hope for something that I don't have. That I obviously can't have. I'm saving myself now. Bye." He let it all out and turned around, leaving me behind quickly.

You got it all wrong... it's not about Eric... nothing is about Eric anymore.

Yunho... I want you.