to leave you
The same sky... different place...
Chapter 36
Siwon’s pov
There, I've revealed all of it, and I feel free of the burden and guilt feelings over the years now. And the best part, he forgives me.
I looked at Kyu, "I really thank you, for forgiving me, Kyu. I really do.” I feel my eyes hot, “It means a lot to me. But I can't accept your kidney. Kyu, what if something happens to you...? I wouldn't be able to move on. You know, when someone is dying and doesn't have much time to live, that person will usually find reasons to why they should continue their lives. I too think about finding my reasons to live longer, and even though I should say the reason why I want to live is because of my girls, but truthfully, Kyu, my reason to live longer is only one, and that is you. Everything means nothing if there is no you. So, I can't accept your kidney, I know you can save me, no one else can save me now but you, but I’ll never forgive myself if anything bad happen to you if you do the operation for me...” I wiped my tears slightly, I have to be strong.
My babyKyu's eyes already teary too, "Thanks, but Siwon... I told you, that I'll be alright. I would do anything for you, you know that, right... and I won't put myself in danger, because I want to live longer with you, Wonnie."
“Kyu... I would do anything for you too, that’s a fact. But I won’t do that, Kyu.”
Oh no, my Kyuhyun crying now, please don’t cry... “Siwonnie... p-please? Oh please, please... *sob*”
“I’m so sorry... I just can’t.” I wiped his tears softly with my thumbs, my heart feels hurt, so hurt to see him sad like that, but I can’t lose him... I can’t live without him in this world. So, I have to say this, “Maybe I’m crazy to say this... Kyu, my love, I’ll never forget the way I feel when you left me that time, I won’t let you to feel the way I felt before, oh no way, Kyu... I can’t wipe away your flowing tears any longer, that's why I have to let you go. I know I’ll be lonely without you by my side, but I have to try to leave you, please let me go, I want you to let me go.”
He stood up abruptly, and burst out crying, "I don’t want to! Why are you so stubborn like this!? I love you dammit! How you could think that I could get a normal life without you, you want me to let you go!? I would go crazy, YOU BETTER JUST KILL ME!" he shouted at me and then left me.
Oh... not again, we just made up, and now I set him off again, he's yelled and left me. Should I follow him? Oh no, I’m the one who asked him to leave, why should I follow now?
Without realizing it I walked toward the door, out of my bedroom, and walked back and forth in front of my door. I do want him to leave me, but not like this, I want him to be happy, not irritated and angry as before. I'm still struggling with my own thoughts, when suddenly I heard a shout from the first floor, “OMG! Lift him... pull... hurry!” W-what happen? I walked down the stairs.
~*~*~*~
~half an hour earlier~
Mr. Choi’s pov
I was just going through some documents, why do I miss her, can not concentrate. Then I decided to make a phone call to my wife, "Hello, honey, how is my pretty granddaughter doing? Has she been eating and taking her medicine?" I heard my wife chuckled and said,
: "Aigoo... you didn’t ask about your wife first but immediately ask about your granddaughter?" But before I could answer I heard a cute voice of my granddaughter, "Hal-abeoji~~”
“Hahaha... my pretty granddaughter, how are you? Sheila've been eating and taking medicine?”
: “Ne, hal-abeoji. And Sheila has no fever anymore, right halmeoni...?” I heard my wife’s voice on the background, “Ne... that's because Sheila was eating a lot and taking medication.”
“Hahaha... good good... Sheila-ya, hal-abeoji miss Sheila so much, do you want come to office, to accompany hal-abeoji? Hal-abeoji had told an aunty here to buy Barbie and its house for Sheila.” I heards her shouted for joy,
: “Kyaaaaaa... Barbie’s house...? Really hal-abeoji, really... really?”
“Of course...” I chucled.
: “Gamsahamnida... Sheila will accompany hal-abeoji in the office. Mmm.. may I halmeoni...?” I heard she asked permission to my wife, and my wife said, ‘Sheila, let halmeoni talk to your hal-abeoji.’ “Hello, honey, Sheila just recovered, and you want me to take her?"
"But I miss her, could not even concentrate. Bring her here, bring a blanket for her, and anyway if she gets a fever again, there is a doctor here who will take care of Sheila. Ne, please? If only Siwon is here, believe me I am on my way back home now." I assure her, I really miss my Sheila, my cutie pie, my precious granddaughter.
: “Aigoo... arasso, honey. Sheila-ya, we'll pickup your eonnie to school, and then we come to your hal-abeoji's office, ne?" "Yaaaay... ne, halmeoni. I want to go change my clothes." Then I heard my wife said again to Sheila, "Mmm... no need, sweety, your appa and mommy are talking now in your room, do not disturb, we will buy some beautiful clothes for you on the way to school, okay?" "Ne halmeoni. I want a pink dress." “Neee...”
M-mommy? "Honey... what do you mean just now? You said 'mommy', I remember that Siwon said there is no Siwon's wife, and there is no Sheila's mother." My wife laughed,
: "Oh honey, I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you, well... now Sheila calls Kyuhyun as mommy. It's cute, isn't it?"
"Hahaha... Oh, really? So Sheila also approved their relationship, well thats good... All right then, see you honey... And be carefull with my granddaughter." I said.
: "Aigoo... arasso... don’t worry... bye honey." My wife chuckled, I smiled to myself, I feel really happy right now.
~an couple hour later~
Siwon’s pov
I saw his body going under the water, and I saw his eyes, sorrow. And slowly his body was like being swallowed by the water and out of sight, but before he went under, I don't know how, it's as if I heard his voice,
'You want me to leave. I understand. And I will leave you my way...'
'You choose not to do the transplant, and choose to leave me all alone in this world? I'm sorry, I won't let you... coz I choose to leave you first...'
'Goodbye my love, Siwonnie. Live the way you wanted. I hope you will be happy with your decision...'
~*~*~
@all : too shoort? sorry... but i really appreciate u guys keep read and comment to my story *hug* love u all
@pupleungu: someone who is always busy, but always take the time for SuperJunior and my-ff, thank you ^_^
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