Chapter 18

 

 

~2months later~

 

 

Kyuhyun’s pov

 

 

See...I am fine, 2 months without my Siwon I’m just fine.

 

Even it’s so empty without my Siwon, even it’s so bitter when I try to forget my Siwon, I even can’t sing again without my Siwon, but I am fine.

 

I was walking from my apartment to my favorite cafe, I only have one hour before I start my Japanese language course, yeah... I want to always use my 2 days off before my next flight schedule for something to keep my brain busy. I looked to the sky, still beautiful... So clear...so blue...my dear Siwon, here I am looking to the same sky where ever you are, but we must seperate... therefore, we are in different places now.

 

Here I am, in Paris, I barely have time to spare. I took a lot of flight schedules, trainings, flight courses... language course, and somehow I joined a cooking class... I’m even an expert in making coffee now. Is it because, maybe, I wanted to be able to cook delicious meals and become a barista that makes good coffee for someone... *sigh*  like for Siwon?

 

Well, I busied myself trying to forget Siwon, to do this and that, but in the end I always think that I do everything for Siwon. I really miss him, but I have to disappear, I have to protect his dream, now I even do not use my Korean name. Now people know me by the name of Marcus Cho.

 

I wish he could forget me, find the woman he loved, get married and fulfill his dream to have  cute and healthy children. My lips smiled at the thought, but my heart feels forced out... squeezed through my ribs, really in pain. Though so painful, but I'll do anything for Siwon, my wound will recover...I’m sure of it, but I’m not sure  when that will happen.

 

~~~

 

Lee Hyukjae is now Donghae's lover, Hyukjae even have changed a lot, he was dorky and always changing partners every day, but now... he always stick to Donghae. In fact, I met him when we were off duty at a hotel in London, his activities were only calling Donghae on the phone or  comes to my room for a chat. He is no longer hanging out or calling the girls that had always surrounded him at the pub at Rotherhithe Street.

 

They are a very cute couple, I like them both. I met them when they were on holiday here last month. Although I really wanted to ask about Siwon, but I stopped myself. They also seem to understand, they don’t talk about Siwon in front of me. But that means Siwon's okay right? And I hope they can start seeing and knowing that I am fine too, without Siwon.

 

 

May all of us end up finding our happiness...

 

~~~

 

When I almost entered the cafe, my mobile phone vibrated, hmm .. Hyukjae, 

 

"Hi Hyukjae, I was just thinking about you..." I stood in front of the cafe terrace, and then I heard Hyukjae’s giggles,

 

: ”You’re not  thinking something y about me right?” still giggling.

 

“YAAAAH!! Anchovy!! I lost all my appetite when thinking about that.”

 

: “Mbuahaha... Kyu, please... don’t be shy...”

 

“Shut up or I’ll hang up my phone!”

 

: “Hahaha...okay, okay, sorry man...”

 

“What’s up?”

 

: “Mmm... I'm sorry, maybe you won’t like hearing about this, and not that I want to interfere in your love life, but Siwon and Donghae nagged... even pleaded... and Donghae threatened me saying he wouldn’t touch me if I don’t do this.” I heard his serious tone now.

 

‘Ugh...S-Siwon...?’ My heart beats so fast, “Spill it out.”

 

: “Well, it seems Siwon has been looking for you everywhere for this past 2 months, using his connections and so on but couldn’t find you, of course... you are not wearing your Korean name anymore.”

 

‘Ommo, he’s been looking f-for me? For this past 2 months..?’ I feel so guilty now.

 

: “I kept my promise to you Kyu, to not let Siwon and his family know about you. Donghae once promised to support me in this, but somehow suddenly Donghae changed his mind, maybe something happened but I’m not sure. And Siwon just requested me to pass his letter for you, with Donghae threatening me... well, I'm sorry Kyuhyun ...”

 

“L-letter?” I don’t know, but suddenly my eyes feels hot.

 

: “Well, Siwon gave me a letter before I got here, he caught me up at the airport. But Kyuhyun, I don't think he's okay...i think he looks ill..not healthy. I don’t know, maybe he was just too tired and busy with his work, but he looked so pale. But don't worry, he's very dandy and cool with his suit, he is very handsome with his sunglasses kekeke...”

 

“Hyuk...” I want to ask about the details of Siwon's condition, his paleness face.. but Hyukjae interrupted,

 

: “Listen man, I just slipped Siwon's letter in your locker, okay? It's up to you, you want to read it or not, I won’t interfere. I will continue my flight from Paris to Hong Kong now, so... goodbye Kyu, and I'm sorry man...take care. Saranghae." He hung up without giving me chance to say anything.

 

 

Suddenly, my head is dizzy, my vision blurred, so I leaned into the cafe’s window, as if the bones of my feet suddenly become soft. My heart was beating very fast, I touched my chest with both hands, with my mobile phone still in my hand. I really miss him, miss him too much... but I've promised to remove Siwon in my life, but...but...

 

I did not even realize, but now I've ran into the street to stop the taxi, I do not care ... I really missed him, " Monsieur, à l'aéroport, s'il vous plaît. Dépêchez-vous!" I said to the taxi driver, wiping the tears that was already running down my cheeks.

 

 

 

At the airport

 

 

I ran immediately to the office, I didn’t care about my friends and some the flight attendants calling my name, 'Hey Marcus...' or 'Good afternoon Mr. Cho...', I just ran faster to my locker, then I rolled my key code and open it. I found a white envelope, written 'to the love of my life, Kyuhyun'. Oh my god, Siwon's handwriting, I miss him...even only seeing his handwriting, makes my eyes feels hot now. And...and he still call me the love of his life...oh.

 

I sat on a bench near my locker, my hands were shaking opening his first letter, and slowly I read it, very slowly because my eyes are very blurry now, covered with tears that couldn’t stop flowing out...

 

 

Dear my lovely baby Kyu,

 

Thanks God, I could convince Hyukjae ssi to promise me to give my letter to you.

I hope he kept his promise. And you're reading it now, aren't you...?

 

It's been two months since you took your love away.

It's been so lonely without you here, nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling.

 

Please baby...tell me, where are you? I miss you so much...

 

Oh baby, please, please forgive me...

I did nothing... yes, I accompanied Tae Hee to Hongkong to meet her ex, but that was it. Nothing more.

 

Please baby, believe in me...

JungHoon hyung also went to Hongkong, ask him about my condition in Hongkong last time.

Please give him a call, this is his number +82-10-442-90322. Please...please call him.

I beg you, baby, please...make it clear.

Don’t leave me because of this.

 

Oh, you have no idea that how much I love you...

I would never cheat on you, never ever.  Baby, now, what should I do?

I'm still confused to why you're so angry, and didn’t want to hear my explanation at all, even moved from Seoul.

 

Baby...I’m so tired...I hate myself for making you feel insecure with our relationship.

Please baby, come back to me...

 

I’m so glad you didn’t change the password lock to your apartment, I sleep on your bed, most of the nights since you left.

 

I keep telling myself that you didn't hate me, that's why you didn't change the password to your apartment...right?

 

And I have no appetite since you are not around.

Well, I try eat in a fancy restaurant, because I know that you'll hate me if I skip my meal, but still have no appetite and...

Nothing, I said nothing can take away these blues, but you.

 

Baby, I can tell that you're tired of being lonely too..

So baby...

I’m right here waiting for you, please come back to me.

 

 

Love,

Choi Siwon

 

 

 

 

---

Hi...how are you, all? I'm sorry for taking so long to update. But I hope you guys continue to support to my story. 

And that was JungHoon's real phone number right? *LoL* @purpleungu informed me that Siwon announced it at weibo last time.

Enjoy ... ^ ^ and thank you, love.