Chapter 21

Siwon’s pov

I still feel the headache from last night, but the morning sunlight that I felt warming my eyelids bothers me, I feel very dazzled. I slowly opened my eyes, with squinting my eyes slightly... this is not my bedroom. Oh, yes, I remember, I was drunk again last night, but this time why didn’t hyung take me home instead to emm...huh... to the hospital? Why did hyung bring me here? I pushed myself using my elbow, trying to sit up, but something feels uncomfortable on my hands, oh IV... why should I need this infusion?

“Mom... Hyung...” Why is no one here? I put my head back on the pillow, still with my headaches, but, soon I heard someone opens the door, I turned slowly.

"Siwon, good morning, thanks God you’re awake... How're you feeling?" my assistant walked and sat on the chair beside my bed, holding my arm.

"I’m okay, just dizzy, hyung." I answered. "Why did you bring me here, why didn't you just take me home last night?" I asked.

"Siwon, don't you remember? You vomitted blood last night, I was very worried. You know that you shouldn’t be drinking any alcohols." He looked worry.

"Sorry..." I replied slowly, "Hyung, my mom hasn’t come yet?"

“She is on a flight.”

"Hyung, please don't tell my mom that I was drunk last night..."

"How can I not tell her!? I was so scared last night. I instantly called your mother and she flew here from New York with the first flight. Siwon, you know the condition of your kidney, and you know your mother is worried to death about you, moreover when she heard that you drunk. Siwon, tell me, why do you get drunk every night? "

"Oh, she knew...?"

"OF COURSE! Siwon, you know what... I'm so tired of advising you about your state of health. And you never listen to me, you choose to still not care and keep getting drunk? "

"I'm sorry hyung..."

"WHAT FOR, I DON'T CARE... I-I really don’t care!" Junghoon hyung raised his voice a bit, but it cracked.

I glanced at him, his eyes already red and shows so much worry, "Mmm... sorry that I threw up on your shoes?" I smiled at him.

“Are you still joking in your condition?” He frowned and looked upset.

I smiled, "Hyung, please take care of my mom if... if something happens to me...”

“SIWON!” He snapped me.

“And thank you for worrying, taking care of me and always watching out for me, but I'm sorry I can’t obey you. My heart  is hurting very much, you know that don’t you? And I can’t take it anymore... But, when I'm drunk, I don’t feel the pain hyung, eventhough the headaches is actually quite too much, but for the moment I can forget him." I feel my eyes are hot now, and quickly I closed them, holding in the tears to not come out.

“S-siwon...”

“And don’t worry about the alcohol, I'm not addicted to it, I just need a distraction from the pain in my heart, Hyung.” I miss my babyKyu so much..., “Hyung, do you think he will come back to me?”

Jung Hoon hyung lowered his head and kept silent.

“Hyung, if he won't, will my broken heart be able to mend? Answer me hyung, please...?”

“I'm sorry. So far, I've tried to help you forget him, I have done everything. Introduced you to so many beautiful women, and make you very busy at office and in our business. But it seems your heart and mind can’t forget him... always on him” He sighed, “Siwon, it all depends on your own, you must be willing to let go of him... then you’ll be able to let him go.”

Now I’m crying... I couldn’t take it anymore, “I’VE TRIED, HYUNG... BELIEVE ME, I WANT TO FORGET HIM, BUT I CAN’T... I’M STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM, SO MUCH... so much... Help me Hyung...” then I cried. I do not know how long I cried, I was so tired and my head feels so heavy. Probably because of the drugs, I think I fell asleep.

~~~

Mrs. Choi’s pov

I just arrived this morning and went straight to the hospital, when I was about to open the door, I heard my son was talking to Junghoon-ssi,

"Hyung, please take care of my mom if... if something happens to me...”

“SIWON!”

“And thank you for worrying, taking care of me and always watching out for me, but I'm sorry I can’t obey you. My heart  is hurting very much, you know that don’t you? And I can’t take it anymore... But, when I'm drunk, I don’t feel the pain hyung, eventhough the headaches is actually quite too much, but for the moment I can forget him."

“S-siwon...”

“And don’t worry about the alcohol, I'm not addicted to it, I just need a distraction from the pain in my heart, Hyung. Hyung, do you think he will come back to me?”

Silent...

“Hyung, if he won't, will my broken heart be able to mend? Answer me hyung, please...?”

“I'm sorry. So far, I've tried to help you forget him, I have done everything. Introduced you to so many beautiful women, and make you very busy at office and in our business. But it seems your heart and mind can’t forget him... always on him. Siwon, it all depends on your own, you must be willing to let go of him... then you’ll be able to let him go.”

Omg, I heard my son crying.

 “I’VE TRIED, HYUNG... BELIEVE ME, I WANT TO FORGET HIM, BUT I CAN’T... I’M STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM, SO MUCH... so much... Help me Hyung...”

Oh my God, what have I done...? What have I done to my son...? I closed my mouth with my hand and ran to the bench not far from my son’s ward, I burst into tears, it's all my fault... I hurt my son's heart, he is so heartbroken now. I put him in this condition. I never heard him cry like that, full of sorrow in his voice. My precious son, my baby... what have I done to you, I'm sorry...

WHAT SHOULD I DO? What should I do...?

I-I have to do something...

~~~

Jung Hoon’s pov

I ran my palm on Siwon's forehead, caressing his head... though he is my boss, but when we’re alone, I treat him like my little brother. I couldn’t bear to see Siwon destroying himself, very depressing to see the cheerful side of him fading little by little. But I really don’t know what to do. If thinking only for Siwon’s sake, ooohhh believe me... I wanted to tell him, from two months ago, that Kyuhyun is now living in Paris, changed his name to Marcus Cho, then arrange for them to meet. But if the thought of the Choi family comes to mind, I have to keep them apart. I don't know what to do, I can’t bear to see Siwon like this... I’ve always considered and loved him as my brother, I have to speak to Mrs. Choi about this.

I stood up and moved to the couch, maybe I'll rest a little, I didn’t sleep a wink last night, waiting for Siwon to regain consciousness, I was very worried. I'm a bit tired right now, maybe I can sleep a few minutes.

~~~

“Aaah... wake up already? Hyung, let's go to the office, I have a meeting after lunch. And at 4 pm I'll have to take care of the land acquisition for our new residential areas, there are some villager who want to meet in person with me, right?” I saw him smile, showing his dimples, and he was dressed already. He sat down on the chair beside his bed, writing something.

“Huh...? What time is it? Siwon, did the doctor discharged you?"

"11 o’clock. Well, earlier the doctor came, actually I haven’t been discharged yet, hahaha... but as long as I try to eat more and take my medications, he said it does not matter. So, come on hyung, let’s go.”

"But you're having no appetite lately..." I sighed.

"Believe me hyung, I'll eat a lot, treat me hyung, ne?" Siwon smiled.

"Sure, eat as much as you can eat, hyung will treat you..." I smiled back.

Why is he always excited once it’s morning and very gloomy in the evening *sigh* I stood up and said, “Give me 5 minutes, I need go to the bathroom, okay?”

“Ne... it’s okay, I’ll finish my letter first.”

“Another letter? For Kyuhyun-ssi?” I frowned.

“Yup, but actually this in not a letter, I only wrote a lyric of my favorite song, but the words are very suitable for... well you know...” He kept smile, “Hyung, we'll stop by to Donghae's apartment before driving to work, I want to give this letter, I called Hyukjae and he said that he is in Donghae’s the apartment now." Siwon grinned, his eyes twinkling.

“Arasso...” I let him continue writing, as long as he smiles, I'll let him do anything.

~~~

~The next morning~

Kyuhyun’s pov

I’ve just landed at New Tokyo International Airport. I don't know how many times I refused a flight schedules going to Seoul, of course I miss Korea, but I was not willing to take any risks to meet him in Seoul. Even then he was on a business trip to Paris, but fortunately we did not meet each other. But why is he so sensitive to my presence here in Paris, is that because of how deep his love is to me?

A couple nights ago, I felt something different, somehow my heart and mind were uncomfortable, and I feel upset, I hope this has nothing to do with him, forbid something happens to Siwon. Ah... he'll be fine in Seoul, he has his parents, family, assistant, personal doctor, staffs and servants were always ready to guard and take care for Siwon, unlike me who always be alone.

~~~

I just got out of the plane and my mobile phone, I immediately got a call from Hyukjae, "Hello Hyuk..."

: "W-where..are..you?" huh, what's wrong with his voice?

"Hyukjae, are you okay? Donghae?"

: "Yes, we are fine, but Kyu... oh, I shouldn't say it...“

“What...? Yaaa... what is it? And don’t say that you couldn’t say it again to me” my voice is getting more impatience, *gasp* I remember something, "W-what about Siwon? Is he okay?"

: ”W-well... I just can say that you got another letter from Siwon."

"Hyukjae, is Siwon okay? Two nights ago I had a bad feeling, is Siwon fine, Hyuk? Tell me..." Now I'm in a panic, was that bad feeling because of something happened to Siwon?

: "Err, oh, he's... he's fine." Hyukjae stuttered.

"Don’t lie Hyuk!" I was impatient.

: “Kyu, you know I won't interfere with your love life. And you were commit to forget him, so I think I'm just tolerating to  deliver his letter, as you know I never force you to read it, but I won’t give any information about him. All the decision is yours, Kyu. If you want to know about him, just find it, ask somebody else, but not me.” He sighed briefly, “Because I can’t be neutral like switzerland anymore Kyu, although I'm your friend and I love you but actually I'm in Siwon’s side now. So, you better find information from others.”

“Hyuk...” my cheeks are starting to feel wet with tears, I turn toward the wall to avoid the gaze of several passengers and flight attendants that passing by, “H-hyuk...j-just tell me is he fine? P-please?”

: *sigh* “I’m sorry... but I don’t think he is.”

“W-what...? WHAT HAPPEN TO HIM?” I shouted.

: “Don’t worry Kyu, he still writes a letter for you, so that means he's still good, right?”

"R-right... he is fine, he'll always fine..." but my heart felt uncomfortable, “But Hyuk, would you please scan his letter and email it to me now? I’m still in Japan and return to Paris tomorrow night.”

: “So impatient...”

“Please... But, BUT DON’T READ THAT LETTER!!”

: “Yaa! How can I scan and email it to you but avoid to read it!?” I believe he showed his gummy smile now... smiling widely, aissh...

“IGNORE IT! Don’t read it Hyuk, just scan and send it to me! Please...?” Well, I hope he can...

: “Ne...ne... arasso...” He chuckled, “Give me about 15 minutes okay? And take care Kyu... I just hope you are happy with what ever your decision is.” He hang up.

Not until 15 minutes, I got an email from Hyukjae ... ...

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@all readers: Kamsahamnida...

@purpleungu unnie: thanks again ^^ hug