Chapter 25

 

 

 

all is Kyuhyun’s pov

 

 

I think I fell asleep, I was still sitting on the chair holding  Siwon's hand, my forehead on the edge of the bed, when I felt someone gently rubbed my back, 'Huh ... Siwon woke up?'

 

I straightened my body, then looked at Siwon, he was still asleep, ‘Then who...?’ I looked to my side, ‘Siwon’s mom?’

 

“Hi son... thank you so much...” she hugged me, while sobbing, she repeatedly thanked me.

 

I just keep silent, and began crying together her.

 

“My poor sons... I’m so sorry...”

 

~~~

 

Soon, a doctor and a nurse entered the room, they greeted us and said that we should leave Siwon to give him more rest tonight, Siwon's mom agreed. After that, she asked me to stay at their house, she insisted, she said it's already late and tomorrow morning she wanted to take me back to the hospital to see Siwon.

 

Yeah, I might just stay in their house, my apartment must have been very dirty since it's been three months not occupied. Anyway I'm very tired, I haven't had a decent sleep for these past two days.

 

~~~

 

 

~Siwon’s mansion~

 

Wow... this is really a huge mansion... at the front of the house there is a garden which is full of flower, very well maintained and so beautiful. Once the car stopped, a butler opened the door for us, he bowed and greeted us very kindly.

 

“Let me take him to the guest bedroom. Just prepare his dinner, Kim-jibsa.” She said to the butler.

 

“Yes madam.” He bowed, then drag my luggage.

 

Siwon’s mom took me into the house, and when entering the house, I am truly amazed. Beautiful, the hanging crystal chandelier is very beautiful, its light filled the room dramatically. All the furniture looks luxurious but simple, very nice, very elegant. We went up to the second floor, and Mrs. Choi's hand never left from my arm since we got out of the car. Geez... this house is indeed really big... I think my apartment size has the same size of the foyer only. But why does Siwon really like spending his time in my apartment?

 

We went upstairs, then Siwon's mom open the guest bedroom for me, “Son, just take a break for awhile, if you need something, push the bell on the side table, Kim-jibsa will come for you. Your dinner will be prepared maybe in ten minutes, they warm the food for you now.” She released her hand.

 

“Ne, thank you.” I smiled slightly and then step in to the bedroom, she patted my shoulder before she left me.

 

~~~

 

After dinner and cleaning myself, I changed my clothes and went to sleep, I was so exhausted, 'Goodnight my love... sleep tight, I love you so much...'

 

~~~

 

In the morning I was awakened by the alarm, even though I was still so tired and sleepy but I had to get up to see Siwon at the hospital. Around eight in the morning, Siwon's mom and I had breakfast in the dining room, we did not say much, listlessly chewing food slowly.

 

“Morning mom.” *Gasp* ‘T-that sound...?’

 

“Siwon?” We both said his name together, ‘He's home?’

 

When I was about to stand up to approach him, he looked at me with his pale straight face, saying, "Oh mom, you have a guest apparently. Please go on with your breakfast, I want to take rest. Help me hyung." Siwon said while putting his arm around Jung Hoon's shoulder.

 

Siwon's mom looks confused, "Dear, wait. Don't be like that, this is Kyuhyun. Anyway why are you home?" Siwon did't respond and keep walking, "Choi Siwon..."

 

"We'll talk later mom." Siwon said without looking towards her.

 

I was still standing beside the table, just looking down, what should I do now? He didn't even talk to me, really turn into a very cold man.

 

“I am sorry, son...” Siwon’s mom turned to me, “Maybe he was just too tired.” She smiled to me, “And why is he so stubborn, he keeps running away from the hospital by the way. Son, just go to his room and talk to him, I want to call doctor Leeteuk. Okay?" I nodded, bit my lower lip, “He really miss you, don’t worry...” she patted my arm.

 

“Yes mam...” then I walked to his room.

 

~~~

 

I knocked his door, Jung Hoon opened the door for me, he bowed, "Please come in, Kyuhyun-ssi." he smiled slightly and gestured his hand, I nodded and stepped inside then he stepped out, closed the door leaving the two of us.

 

Siwon stood in front of the wardrobe, he just finished changing his clothes, glanced at me then busied himself undoing his watch’s clip, "Siwon... can we talk?"

 

He kept silent, “Siwon... Please?” I said again, then he shrugged but still not looking at me. I walked toward him, “Siwon, you're ill, why are you home?”

 

“I’m fine and that’s none of your business.” Why is he so cold to me.

 

“Are you angry with me?”

 

“Why should I?” He looked at me with a furrowed brow.

 

“Siwon...”

 

“Please... take care of your own business, don't have to care about me anymore, I can look after myself.”

 

“By being sick and damaging your kidneys?”

 

“Kyu, what is it you actually want from me, huh!?”

 

“I want to take care of you, and I ... ...”

 

“Stop it!” He cut me off, “You told me that if I loved you, I should forget you, and live happily with a woman, how could you say that to me when you know that I am a gay, I’m ing gay for you Kyuhyun!”

 

“I-I’m...”

 

“And now you want to take care of me? HUUUUH... ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?” he shouted now.

 

“I-I’m sorry...” I looked down, he never shouted at me before.

 

“Please... leave me Kyu...” He sighed.

 

“Siwon, please... let me help you...” I hold his hands.

 

“Let me go Kyu.” He tried to break free, “I SAID LET ME GO!”

 

“NEVER!!” I yelled at him back and let his hands, then I pushed on his chest, slammed him hard to the wall. He groaned in pain, since he still weak and wasn’t prepare being pushed by me. "Never again I'm letting you go!" I said in an almost whisper, but he heard me nevertheless, “Now, let me to take care of you... And please back to the hospital.”

 

He was trying to catch a breath, and finally manage to do so, “Stop telling me what I should do or shouldn’t do Kyu! You left me almost three months, you broke my heart, finally I decided to let you go! And now... now you've come back and acted like you care about me?!?! Stop it Kyu! Just go away like before!”

 

With my tears falling I yelled again at him again, “GO AHEAD, JUST BE ANGRY WITH ME, HATE ME, HIT ME, KICK ME, DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT! BUT I SWEAR, I’M NOT GOING TO WATCH YOU DIE WITHOUT DOING NOTHING! I SAID I WON’T LEAVE YOU ANYMORE!” *sobs* “I’m sorry I left you... But I can’t live without you in this world...”

 

“SHUT UP!” Siwon shouted.

 

“Siwon...” I pleaded, touching his cheek, I didn’t care if he pried my hand, “Please... you have to get another transplant... Please...”

 

He let my hand on his cheek and said “You want me to do the transplant, to keep me alive, and then what?” his voice cracked, “My kidney is not the main problem, but my heart.”

 

'I know your heart is broken, because mine too.', I don’t care about the little tension between us right now but I hugged him, I prepared myself if he pushed me, but thankfully he let me do it, ‘Oooh... I miss this warmth so much, his scent... I really miss you my love...’

 

“Siwon, listen... I regretted leaving you three months ago, and I’m truly sorry, I thought you would move on... I thought you could forget me, then marry a woman, have a children. But... I've made ​​a mistake, I’m sorry...”

 

I could feel his body trembled, I think he's trying his best not to cry, “I don't care if my broken heart will never mend Kyu, with all the pain you have sent, it feels like splitting my soul, l don't know how to heal, but I don't care anymore...” he close his eyes tightly.

 

“Please... I’m sorry...” I said, I tighten my hug.

 

“Why... sorry? It's not your fault Kyu, it's mine. I'm a fool for even thinking that you are mine before.” He spoke quietly, full of sadness. I pulled back, giving a distance between us and looked at him with his eyes teary.

 

“No Siwon... Believe me, you're always in my heart, and I’m yours... always yours...” I want to make him believe me, “Siwon, l want to tell you something, can we sit down, I don’t want you to be tired, you look so pale.” He's not moving, “Please...?” still not moving... suddenly he bent foward and support himself by putting one hand againts his knee and the other at the back of his head.

 

“S-siwon... what happen?” I grabbed his shoulder, “SIWON!?”

 

He shook his head and groaned, I think he is in a pain, I panic and kept asking what is wrong with him.

 

“Please... call... doctor... Leeteuk...” He stuttered, “My... phone...” I know his pain is unbearable, so I hugged him to support his body, but then we slumped on the floor.

 

I still hug him while looking for his mobile phone in his pocket. I found it and pressed the last dialled button and find the doctor Leeteuk name, then call him panicky, "H-hello, t-this is Kyuhyun, please come... it's Siwon... he is... he... help, please!" I dropped the phone when I heard Siwon said,

 

“My head... it hurts... please Kyu...” he pressed his head on my shoulder, “Make it stop...” I could feel his hand grabbing and squeezing the back of my shirt.

 

“What should I do Siwon?” I was sobbing, and hugging his body tightly and rubbing his head as if I can lessen the pain for him, “I’m sorry... I don’t know what to do!?” I was so desperate, “Please hang on, doctor Leeteuk is on the way...” I can’t stop my tears... ‘Hang on my love... I'm sorry...’

 

~~~