Chapter 31

Kyuhyun’s pov

‘S-she is my r-real daughter.’ I know... that I heard him clearly. But, but... I don’t understand it all.

“S- Siwon, sorry, but why did you told me that Bella is your adopted daughter, but Sheila is your real daughter? I-I don’t get it.” O-or... may be... “You're saying this only to get me to leave you, aren't you? Tell me you're just saying this to make me leave you, r-right!?" I said again, but my voice was a bit shaky because I'm hoping to hear him say 'Yes, I said it just to make you leave me'. "What do you mean, Siwon!?"

Siwon’s face turned white, became paler, ruffling his own hair, he looked at me depressed, “I told you... Sheila, Sheila is my real daughter. T-that means... my flesh and blood, Kyu.” Siwon lowered his head when saying, "L-let me ask you... you said to me earlier, when you saw Sheila's picture, you said that you fell in love with her at first sight, why do you think you can be like that?” sighed, “Look at her picture again Kyu... do you think it's just a coincidence that you feel what you felt towards her? Or doesn't she remind you of someone?” I thought all my blood dropped to my feet now. “Just leave me, Kyu...” he said again.

I glanced at Sheila's picture with my bulged eyes, and I realized what he was saying, and I felt my body tensed up, “Wh-WHAT!!! You mean... you really already have a child!?” I stood up and immediately took the pillow that was already in my lap, and started hitting him randomly with it. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!!!” I kept hitting him, and he just sat there covering his head with his arms, giving me time to let out my emotions. “YOU WERE MY LOVER, I MADE LOVE TO YOU, I SUFFERED MONTHS BECAUSE OF YOU, AND NOW... NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER!?” I stopped hitting him.

After I took a deep breath, I yelled at him again, “WHERE’S YOUR WIFE!? WHERE DID YOU HIDE HER ALL THESE TIMES!?!?” I yelled with all the energy that was left in me, “I HATE YOU... I HATE YOU!!!” I hit him again until the feathers fall out of the pillow, “NO WONDER HAVING CHILDREN IS NO LONGER YOUR DREAM SIWON, IT TURNS OUT YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE!?” At that moment, I really hated him, how could he lie to me all these times!?

Siwon stood up and held me in his arms, “LET GO!! LET ME GO!! I HATE YOU!!” I  struggled my self to be free from his embrace,I really cried in pain, my heart feels so hurt. I cried, yelling, telling him to let go of me. After awhile of screaming and struggling, I felt I have no more strength left in me, my hands dropped limply and I just let Siwon hold my body tight. Silence. The room became silent, all that was heard are sobs comming from me and Siwon.

Several minutes later, as my sobbing subbsided, still holding me in his arms, Siwon broke the silence, “I will explain everything to you, please call me when you feel you are ready to listen. Now, just go, leave me, Kyu.” Then he kissed my forehead, let go of me from his arms, and left me in his rooms.

My feet betrayed me, it doesn’t have any strength left to hold my body. I fell to the floor. I don’t know what kind of explanation Siwon will give me... but I think it’s clear enough for me... It’s over. This time we really are over.

Mrs. Choi's pov

I heard Kyuhyun screaming and yelling in the second floor. What are they fighting about now? I went upstairs hastely, “LET GO!! LET ME GO!! I HATE YOU!!” I heard Kyuhyun’s yelling and crying again, from Siwon’s room. I walked faster, but before I got the chance to knock on his door, Siwon opened it and was startled to see me in front of his room. His eyes were swollen, and red. Why is my son crying?

“Siwon, what happened?”, I tried to stop him by holding his arm. Siwon hold my hand, let it go, smilled bitterly at me, “Siwon...?” and he just left me.

I still can hear Kyuhyun’s sobbing from inside my son’s room, I knocked lightly and opened the door that was already slightly ajar. Kyuhyun was on his knees, on the floor, still crying. My heart was breaking seeing him like that, what has my son done to him this time, my poor Kyuhyun. I quickly approched him, kneeled and hold him in my arms, “I’m so sorry son, whatever Siwon did, please forgive him...” I looked around the room, and trying my best to guess what had happened in this room, I saw the floor is now covered with feathers that fell out from the pillow. I turned to Kyuhyun again, his hands was still limply on his sides, holding the fabric that used to be a pillow and the other hand is Siwon’s daughters photo frame, did they argue about the children?

I feel so sad... this is my fault from the first time, “Ssshhh... it’s okay, Kyuhyun-ah... I’m sorry...” I hugged him tightly, “I’m sorry *sobs* this is all my fault.” I tried to calm Kyuhyun, but now I can’t even hold back my tears. We were both crying in each others embrace.

Kyuhyun’s pov

I bowed and thanked Siwon’s mom for letting me stay in their home, but she kept trying to persuade me to stay. It’s impossible for me to stay, and I didn’t have the heart to tell Siwon’s mom the reason why we fought earlier, because I know... Siwon hasn't told his mom. If he had, his mom won’t be so persistent in keeping Siwon’s dream before.

Siwon’s mom held me tight, and walked me to the car. She waited until the car was out of her sight. I really don’t have any idea what would happen tomorrow. Will I be able to live my life again without Siwon?

~*~*~*~

~2 days later~

Siwon asked me to go back to Paris, but I just couldn’t do it... this is my life, my future, my peace of heart, soul and mind. After locking myself in my apartment for two days, I had a lot of chances to think things through. And I’ve decided to use my four days left of my leave to request a transfer to Seoul. Yeah, I’ll just fly domestic flights.

I realized, eventhough I want to hate Siwon badly, my heart betrayed me. I still find informations about him, monitor he’s heatlh from a far. I want to keep my eye on him, without bothering my dearest informan, Hyukjae. Even only from a far, I can see Siwon, that’s enough for me, but I just hope that his wife or... his ex. or... his whatever, won’t show up in front of my nose.

I prepared myself to go to the airport, I’m going back to Paris, to officially process my transfer from the head office and clear my things out from my apartment in Paris.

~4 days later~ 

All has been taken care of, as of this afternoon, I start my first domestic flight here... in Seoul. But there’s one thing I need to do before I go. I dialled a number on my mobile phone, “Good morning, Hyung... ...”

JungHoon's pov

I was still in a bliss... I was so happy having three days off and spending it with my Chullie. Aaaaaah... I’m really energized now. I was still laid lazily in my bed, trying to picture what we did, and I was laughing by myself.

*beep...* My phone rang, and I glanced at the caller’s ID... huh..Kyuhyun?

"Ne Kyuhyun-ssi?"

: "Good morning, Hyung. Really sorry for waking you up this early, but can you stop by my apartment? I have something for Siwon.”

"Ah neee... I’ll stop by, before picking up Siwon to the office, Kyuhyun-ssi." After their fight, this is the first time I talk to Kyuhyun again, but I won’t ask about it.

: "Sorry for troubling you, hyung."

"No... no problem, I’m glad you still want to contact me, and didn’t forget about me. Call me whenever you need, Kyuhyun-ssi."

I heard him chuckled: "How can I forget a handsome assistant like you, Hyung.."

"Aigoo... arrasoo... hahaha... See you, Kyuhyun-ssi..." He’s just the same as Siwon, likes to make fun of me.

: "Ne, Hyung. Thanks. Bye hyung..."

"Ne... "

~*~*~*~

Siwon’s pov

It was around 7pm, I was still doing some paper work in my study when I heard a loud commotion outside the door, the sound of someone running towards my study and a sweet  voice screaming... and my heart instantly blooms, a  wide smile appearing on my face.

"Appaaaaaa... Appaaaaaa..." So loud, thats must be Sheila *smile* and the door opens. Yup... Sheila, my three year-old daughter, appeared from behind the door with her teddy bear I bought for her last birthday, smiling widely. I stood from where I was sitting, and came to greet her. She jumped towards me and hugged me so tight in her small arms, "Appa, I've missed you..." She started kissing my cheeks... "I missed you too, baby... How are you...? You're a lot taller now and cuter.” I kissed her back.

“I’m fine appa, and my height has increased one centimeters, appa...” she was always happy when I said she was taller, she said she wanted to be a supermodel someday.

“Hahaha... good, you must have eaten a lot of fruits  like I told you, right?”

“Ne appa, I want to be as tall as appa...” Sheila replied.

“Are you tired? How's your flight?"

“No, I’m not tired, appa. I played with Uncle Sungmin, and the stewardess gave me a coloring book."

“Good girl...” I kissed Sheila's cheek then carried her, went out of my study, walked towards the family room. I didn’t see my eldest, Bella, “Sweety, where is your sister?”

“Huh...?” She looked around, “Eonnie was there behind me, appa...” I put Sheila down, we walked to the family room.

“Mom, where is Bella?” I asked my mom, she was sitting on the couch, stretched out her hands to see Sheila ran towards her.

“In her room, she's mad about something. Right, Sheila?” My mom winked to Sheila on her lap.

“About what mom?”

“She will be fine, talk to her tomorrow, Siwon.” My mom smiled. "Let her rest tonight."

“Okay, I want to kiss her before I go to bed, I’m a bit dizzy, mom.”

“Do you need something? Should I call doctor Leeteuk, Siwon?” My mom looks worried now.

“Appa is ill...?” Sheila asked me, tilted her head.

“No need, mom.” I looked to my mom, then to Sheila, “No, Sheila... appa just a little bit dizzy. Sheila, please take a bath and change into your PJs then get some rest.” I told Sheila.

“Appa don’t want to play with me first?” She pouted.

“I’m sorry, Sheila baby... not tonight, tomorrow perhaps?”

“Ne, appa...” She runs to me, give me a goodnight kiss, then back to my mom’s lap.

I went upstairs, to the girls’s bedroom, I knocked, then opened the door. I saw Bella on her bed with her PJs already. I know she glanced at me, and then turned her back to me. I sat on the edge of the bed beside her, caressed her hair and kissed it, “How's my beautiful princess Bella?” Silent, “Is the flight boring, honey?" She kept silent, “Appa doesn’t know why my baby doesn’t want to talk with appa, but we will talk about it tomorrow morning. Bella, sweetheart... appa miss you so much.” Then I kissed her cheek, after I kissed her... she covered her cheek with her hand, I chuckled to see her reaction, she's really angry apparently, but I won't force her to say about it tonight, she definitely tired. “Arasso... appa will leave you, sleep tight, appa’s princess. See you tomorrow...” I kissed her hand that was on her cheek.

I saw JungHoon hyung walking in the room with the girls luggages, I smiled to him and when I wanted to stand up, my vision suddenly got blurry, and dizzy. Luckily JungHoon hyung swiftly hold me, and he knew what's wrong, he helped me stand up without a word, ready to walk me to my bedroom. When we were outside the children’s room, JungHoon hyung said with his worried face,"Siwon, you're getting worse.” I just smile to him. Then we stepped in my bedroom, he tugged me in, “Try to sleep, get some rest... I’m really worried with your condition, Siwon.”

~*~*~*~

This morning I woke up as I felt the presence of someone sitting on my bed.

"Appa... when are we going to play? Why is appa still sleeping? We came here to play with appa, but why is appa so lazy?" She sat beside me on my bed, folding her arms in front of her chest, as if she was scolding me.

Still with a bad headache, I smiled to her, "Good morning, appa is sorry, sweetheart... appa is still feeling so tired. When appa gets enough rest, appa will play with you and your sister, ne?  And you know what, appa will take you to an amusement park, how about that?"

"Yaaaaay... promise?" She raised her hands up, and smiled widely.

"Neh, appa promise..." Caressing her soft hair, "And where is your sister?"

"Eonni is in her room, she's still angry with appa and grandma." She pouted, folding her arms in front of her chest again.

"Would you please tell appa, why your eonni is angry at appa and grandma...?" I asked her.

"Well... grandma didn't let her join the summer camp instead grandma asked us to come here to see appa."

"I see... Are you angry with appa too?"

"No appa, I don't like camping, a lot of mosquitoes there and I can't take and play with my teddy bear, because the boys will make fun of my teddy, appa. I like playing my teddy here with appa." She smiled cutely, yes, she is so cute and adorable.

"That's my girl..." I pinched her cheeks softly, "Now, help appa, get your sister to come to appa’s room, ne?"

"Ne appa..." She smiled and jumped from my bed.

"Sheila, baby..." I called her.

"Ne..?" She turned facing me.

"Where's the kiss for appa?" I pointed my lips.

She chuckled, "Hahaha... I'm sorry, I forget that appa can't sleep well if I don’t kiss appa." She said confidently, ‘Well... look, who her father is... ;-) ’  She climbed to my bed again, laid down on my body, I hugged her and then she pecked my lips, "Saranghae appa, sleep well.”

“Appa loves Sheila too...” I said.

Then she  continued “Appa, I'll tell eonni, to be nice to appa so eonni won't make appa worry. And don't talk too long with eonni, so appa can rest... ne?" I nodded with a wide smile on my face, I felt so warm... she is still so young, but she can express how much she cares about me. And then she jumped and shouted loudly calling her sister while running away, "EONNIEEEE..." Aigoo... why is she so loud?

Yes... I'm so happy to have both of my daughters. I think I have to ask mom to arrange their transfer to a school in Seoul. I'll find the best school for them. I need my babies to stay beside me now, I'll shower my babies with so much love and attention. They'll be the perfect distraction for me, so that I wouldn't think too much about babyKyu.

*knock. knock .* It must be Bella, "Come in..." I said.

"What is it appa?" She walked towards my bed and stood beside my bed, lips pouting and eyes keep looking down.

"Are you angry with appa?" I asked her.

"Ne." I heard her voice cracked.

"Okay... it's about your summer camp right? Bella baby, when does your camp starts?"

"The day after tomorrow." Bella is still looking down, I think she is trying to hold her tears right now.

"So, do you want to go back to New York? Uncle Sungmin will take you there, if you want to go..." Sungmin hyung, my other trusted person who takes care of my daughters in New York since a couple of years ago.

"Don't lie appa..." Her lips are like getting pulled out now.

"Aigoo... look at your lips, it will fall off from your beautiful face soon, I'm telling you." I chuckled, she kept silent. "Appa never lies to you.” I continued, “Appa will ask uncle JungHoon to book you and uncle Sungmin's tickets for tonight, so you could join the camp the day after tomorrow." Even Bella is still looking at the floor, I saw a curve in the corner of her lips, "So, please don't be angry with appa... ne?"

Now she raises her head, looked at me with her wide smile, but suddenly... my daughter’s face changed and said, "A-appa..why do you look so pale? Appa looks skinnier, did appa lose some weight?" She climbed up my bed and touched my cheek, "Appa, are you ill?" she looks so worried.

"No, sweetheart, appa is fine, appa is just tired" I smiled and hold her hands on my cheek.

"A-appa, I'm a big girl now... I know appa is s-sick" her eyes start to get teary, "Now I know why grandma is so scared... And forced us to come here to see appa." Now she laid down, hugged me and cried on my chest. "A-appa, I’m sorry... appa must have felt sad, I didn’t talk to appa last night. I’m sorry appa... I-I didn’t know that appa is sick." sobs.

I felt so touched towards my oldest daughter, I hugged her and kissed her head, wiped her tears, "No, sweety, it’s okay... And appa is sorry too, appa made my Bella worry...  Appa will take medication so appa will cure palli palli... ne?" I kissed her hair, she nodded.

"A-appa, and I'm sorry I was so upset with appa." She’s still crying, making my shirt wet now.

“Tell you what, appa will tell grandma to not force you to do something you don’t want to next time.” She kept crying, "Ssssh... it's okay, sweety... Now,please stop crying... Appa already saw you and  hugged you like this, appa will be better soon. How about you kiss appa so appa will cure faster?"

With her little hands she pushed me on my chest, looked at me with her red eyes. She wiped her eyes, she smiled slightly, then she leaned down to my cheeks and my forehead, "I know a kiss can’t make appa cure faster... but please be healthy appa.” I nodded and smiled to her, caressing her cheeks, “Appa... Eat a lot, you are so thin, I’m sad to see appa like this."

"Aigoo... you look like an ahjuma right now, sweety...” She pouted, I chuckled to see my daughter like that, “Well... appa's appetite is poor lately, but appa think appa’s appetite will increase if you kiss appa's lips" I grinned at her.

"Appa... nice try but I'm not like Sheila... I told appa that I’m a big girl now. How is it possible if I kiss appa’s lips then appa's appetite will increase?" She laughed.

"Look at you~ my daughter looks like an angel when she’s laughing."

Her cheeks turn tinted pink, "Alright... alright... But, I'll kiss appa because I love appa, arasso appa...?" I nodded my head repeatedly, then she pecked my lips. "Appa loves you, Bella..." I hugged her, “I love you too appa... so much.”

"Thank you, sweety... Now, can you get appa’s mobile phone on that table? Appa will call uncle Jung Hoon and uncle Sungmin to tell them about your summer camp."

"NO APPA!” I was startled, now what does she want? "I'll stay here with appa."

I frowned, "But appa thought you wanted to go to that camp and have fun with your friends..."

She sat up beside me and put her palm on her hips, "NO! I won't! I'll stay, and be appa’s supervisor, appa have to eat and sleep well, also take appa’s medication regularly. I'll watch appa!"

"Hahaha... appa is so scared... my daughter is a scary supervisor." I laughed and started tickling my daughter’s waist.

I’m really happy with my girls’s love, they love me so much, they are my everything now, I’m blessed.

"Appa, I want to tell grandma, that I'm not mad at her anymore... Appa, you take some more rest, ne?" Bella said, now smiling.

"Ne, supervisornim... Let's go somewhere you want later on, okay?” I smiled to her.

"Okay, appa..." I kissed her cheeks then she jumped off my bed, and waved at me then blow a kiss to me and closed the door.

As soon as Bella closed the door, it hit me, how wonderful it would be if Kyuhyun were here and see Kyuhyun with the girls.

I realized I'm blessed... very blessed to have my girls, but somehow I still feel incomplete...

~*~*~*~