Kai's POV

I leant back against the taps as I watched Haneul circle the bathroom, around and around. She ambled around at a steady pace to try and settle her full stomach. It was dizzying and I felt slightly sick.

Sick with worry. Sick with nerves. Sick with excitement. Sick with-

'I wonder whether D.O-oppa's finished cooking that second batch of meat'

Don't. Say. His. Name.

I tried to compose myself and stop the inner tension inside of me from building up any further. Everything had been planned out. I wanted to show hyung that I too had the balls to confess my feelings and that I wasn't going to give up on Haneul easily. Instead of doing it on a day out alone, I'd do it when we were all gathered and just slip out- the two of us.

I saw the way hyung threw a weary glance my way as Haneul took my hand and I couldn't help but feel ecstatic. He knows what I'm doing. I always wondered if he'd try to stop me from confessing but hyung's a good person who would never do that. Saying that however, I couldn't even begin to imagine what questions he'd fire at me later that night. I just hoped I'd be able to answer them.

I took a deep breath and watched Haneul, still circling the bathroom on her toes. She did a slight jump and twirl now and then, the water beneath her feet swishing around her like twinkling lights. I had the urge to get closer in case she slipped but she was delicate as she pranced around light heartedly, not knowing how heavy my own heart felt at that moment.

This was it. This was my moment.

And I was almost going to blow it.

 

Forcibly but lovingly. Firmly but gently.

Those were the words I'd use to describe how I trapped Haneul against the bathroom wall. I could tell she was surprised as she let out a gasp beneath me.

'K-Kai... Wha-What are you doing?'

She struggled to get out of my grip and I pressed myself closer so she couldn't move.

'Kai, please. What are you doing?'

She looked around frantically and still tried to push me away.

'Haneul, stop struggling. This will only take a second.'

'What will only take a second?! What are you going to do?!' she whispered, 'are you going to do something to me?'

She gulped furiously and a bead of sweat ran down her forehead. I found myself chuckling but she only frowned more, her eyes getting wetter and wetter.

'Kai...' she whispered, 'why are you acting like this? Please let me go. Please.'

I stared at her, trying to figure out why she was still so scared. I was only holding her gently.

'Xiumin! Yeollie! D.O-oppa!'

I covered with my hand to stop her yelling and she bit down hard on it.

'Argh, that hurt! What was that for?!'

'D.O-'

'Stop saying his name!' I yelled and she stopped and choked back on the air.

I stepped back, shocked at what I had done. She was crying and I wanted to punch myself. I had made the girl I love cry.

I fell to my knees, the dirty water splashing my clothes and my face but I didn't care. If having a dirty face was my punishment for making Haneul cry, then God was being too easy on me. I expected her to run out and into hyung's arms but she didn't. She crouched down in front of me and also got on her knees.

Of course. My angel.

'Oppa... What's going on?' she whimpered, 'you're scaring me'

I convinced myself to look up at her and I was met with the sight of her, tears falling down her face. She lifted the corner of her shirt and dabbed at my face until I stopped her.

'Something's wrong' she said quietly, 'please-'

'Did I really scare you?' I whispered

She nodded and I shut my eyes in remorse, wishing I could turn back time. I wouldn't have been so forceful. I wouldn't have been so desperate. I wouldn't have been so filled with anger and jealousy. I wouldn't have cared about hyung's confession. Slowly, I brought out a hand to touch her face but she flinched and moved away.

'Where are you touching?!'

I opened my mouth to speak but saw more tears leak out of Haneul's eyes. She was shaking her head.

'Kai...O-Oppa... I can trust you, right?' she said, 'you're not going to hurt me like he did...'

It took me a while to figure out who she was referring to- Jung Daehyun.

That son of a .

She stood up and I stood up quickly too. I hadn't spoken and so she made to leave but I grabbed hold of her hand and wrapped my arms around her. She struggled for a bit, unsure of what was going on. I couldn't blame her. For a confession, this wasn't going well. It seemed more like an attempt of assault.

'I will never hurt you' I said, resting my head on hers, 'and I'm sorry about just now. For scaring you. But there's something I need to say.' 

I felt her tense and realised she was holding my shirt. It was getting damper and I knew it wasn't from the bathroom water.

Kim Jongin. You are a royal .

 

---

 

Chanyeol pinned up the last orders he had taken and made his way towards the bathroom. 

'Hyung!' he cooed, smiling like an idiot as he drew closer and closer. When close enough, he heard the murmuring of two people- a boy and a girl- and he frowned knowing that no one was allowed to be in the bathroom. He cleared his throat and was about to push open the door when he heard a shriek.

'Where are you touching?!' 

Outraged, Chanyeol peered through the gap and to his horror, he saw that the voice belonged to you. He willed himself to push the door open a bit more and when he did, he was even more surprised to see Kai, mouth agape and stuttering. Both you and Kai were kneeling on the floor and Chanyeol listened in on the conversation, his curiosity and slight jealousy getting the better of him. 

'Kai...O-Oppa... I can trust you, right?' you said. 

Chanyeol's mouth flew open. What the heck is Kai doing?! He decided to watch and listen a bit longer and told himself he'd intervene if Kai tried to touch you again. 

'You're not going to hurt me like he did...' 

Chanyeol felt a pull at his heart and remembered Daehyun's party and how hard you scrubbed yourself in the shower later that night. His thoughts however were cut off by the sound of swishing water as you and Kai both stood up. He looked in through the crack and saw you start to walk towards the door to leave and he jumped away quickly. When you didn't emerge, he still didn't move.

'I will never hurt you.' 

Pulling himself away from the wall he was flat against, Chanyeol peered back into the bathroom and froze. Kai had his arms wrapped around you.

'There's something I need to say.' 

 

---

 

I shut my eyes and mentally prepared myself for my death. I had already almost blown it by making Haneul feel both uncomfortable and scared. I hadn't been thinking and if I could have slapped myself, I would have however Haneul would then have thought I was psychologically insane so I pushed the idea out of my mind. 

'Kai... What is it that you need to say?' she said.

He voice was muffled and the vibrations from her lips travelled to my chest and my spine and knees. I felt like I'd collapse if she were to be close to me. That sick feeling came back.

'H-Haneul...' I stuttered, 'I... I...' 

I couldn't get the words out. My hands felt all clammy. I was going to vomit all over myself if I couldn't stop and focus soon. She pulled away from me and wiped her eyes.

'You're being really weird.'

I sighed and nodded slowly, 'I know. I know. I know.'

I was going crazy- repeating myself over and over again. My head was spinning because nothing was going to plan. I had my speech well thought out and rehearsed in my head but it had all gone down the drain like out of an . I didnt know what to do. Luckily for me however, Haneul spoke first.

 

'What was that all about earlier?' 

'I'm sorry'

'I know you're sorry, Kai. I want to know why you did it. Why did you grab me?'

'I wasn't thinking. I didn't think. I'm... I'm sorry'

'Is it that... you have needs?' 

My eyes widened and I stared at her. Never had I ever even dreamed of discussing something that was strictly guy talk with the girl I liked. I shivered at the thought. And then I shivered some more because I realised what she meant. 

Did she think that I thought she was easy? And that she'd give in to me?

'No.' I said plainly, 'I'm not a raving maniac, Haneul.'

The smallest smile formed on her face. 'Then why?'

'If I tell you... You have to promise not to laugh at me.'

'Why would I laugh?'

'I wasn't thinking properly because... because...'

'Because?'

'I'm jealous.'

I could see the cogs in her ingenious yet extremely slow brain start to whir. Well, here goes. 

'I'm jealous of a hyung of mine and I suppose that jealousy's been eating up at me. I can't think properly. I can't eat properly. I can't even sleep because I'm so green with envy.'

'Why should you be jealous?'

'He's good looking. He's talented. He's clever.'

'You're all of those too.'

'And he's also managed to confess to the girl I like.'

'You... You like the same girl as your friend?' 

I nodded and mentally saw that Haneul's brain was no longer churning. She wasn't getting the hint.

'That friend is a hyung of mine that I really like. Actually no, I love him. I just can't help but be jealous.'

I watched as Haneul cocked her head to one side and began to think. She bit her bottom lip whilst trying to come up with possible solutions and I silently took a deep breath.

'Haneul, that friend is D.O. Do Kyungsoo, D.O'

Her eyes darted to the floor and she stopped chewing her bottom lip as she stood there, rooted to the spot. I clenched my fists and left them at my side, unable to find the added courage needed to hold her properly.

'You're the one that can instantly lift my spirit. You're the one that stood up for me when my hyung came and publicly humiliated me. You've never doubted me and you always believe in me. I want to protect you and I'll always make sure you never get hurt. It probably sounds crazy but I'm always thinking about you. Haneul, the girl I like is you.'

 

 

---

Not the most romantic confession so apologies to anyone that wanted all out fluff with kissing etc. I find that the Kaineul couple tend to go through the scary together where there's lots of talking about feelings and lots of links back to violence. I don't know why... It just ended up like this *shrugs shoulders* 

I wanted to give you guys something before I head to Singapore (in about 9 hours lol OTL) because I don't know how often I'll get to go on the computer for the next month and well... let's face it, it was time for another confession. Oh and as for Chanyeol, I wonder what he's going to do now?... Hmmm.... Hmmm..... Hmmm...