The dorm had split. Kris sat in front of the television, visibly engrossed in the morning news broadcast. Sehun had gone to the bathroom to shower wanting to get way from Chen with every follicle in his body. Even then, Chen continued with his taunts about what Sehun was going to do in the bathroom with the bath lotion, much to Suho's horror who had thought the inappropriate comments were finished for the day. Kai was helping with the washing, not wanting to give his roommate the job the day he managed to pull himself out of bed by his own accord. Xiumin was doing something, perhaps studying, perhaps reading- you weren't too sure. Realising that the only way to make yourself useful was to help with the dishes, you flittered around the dining table as Kyungsoo ate, packing up the used cutlery and crockery that had been left out for you to deal with.

"You done?" you asked, not really bothering to hear Kyungsoo's response. A part of you was unfairly bitter. Because this was unfair. Kyungsoo treating you and hardly even acknowledging you was unfair.

"No-"

But life is unfair for both sides and you swiped Kyungsoo's bowl from beneath him and flounced off to the kitchen, dumping it in the sink and starting to wash up. He gasped, still holding his fork in his hand and he looked around. Chanyeol smirked a little, evidently pleased with your somewhat sassy outburst and Kris shrugged, acting like it was the norm.

"Hey! Haneul!" Kyungsoo cried, "I wasn't done!"

You poked your head out from the kitchen and bowed your head slightly. "Sorry, I didn't realise."

"As if you didn't realise," Kyungsoo retorted, "you heard me!"

"I really didn't," you replied.

Kyungsoo began to raise his voice. "You asked me whether or not I had finished!" 

"Did I?" The others had gathered, concerned about the increasing volume. Tucked under Xiumin's elbow was his work folder. Obviously he had been studying.

"Haneul!" Kyungsoo shouted in anguish, annoyed beyond belief that you were being so unresponsive, answering his questions with more questions.

"What?!" you screamed back, "what, Kyungsoo?! What-"

A hand clamped firmly down on your mouth and it's owner's spare arm s around your waist, pulling you back into the kitchen. 

 

***

 

"I could kill him! I swear I could take this knife," you said, picking up the clean, wet knife that Kai had just finished rinsing, "and stab it in his head." You picked up a teaspoon, "or alternatively I could use this to gauge his eyeballs out." 

Kai shook his head, "Haneul, don't say things you'll regret. Forgive him. He's still in a state-"

"Of absolutely hating me, yes, I know," you muttered, "because I put him in that state. I made him hate me. For God's sake, I brought this all upon myself."

"What is it with girls and overreacting? And blaming themselves for everything? He got ill, okay, yes, but it's not your fault. Maybe you stressed him out a bit but it's still not entirely your fault," Kai reasoned.

"But it is..." you whispered, suddenly taking a sudden emotional turn, "because now he hates me. What am I supposed to do? I-.. I-"

Kai smiled, turning away from you. "You like him? I know. So what should we do? What's the plan?" You took a sudden inhale and Kai took that moment to exhale and try to compose himself better. "How are we going to make sure Kyungsoo-hyung realises how damn lucky he is to have you?" Kai hugged you suddenly, and you felt tears easily slip out down your cheeks. "Because he is lucky. He's just being a ing moron right now."

You sniffed and mumbled a quiet "sorry", apologising for not thinking about Kai. You hadn't even had the guts to outright tell him that you were going to reject him. Instead, you let your actions do the talking, taking the cowardly way out.

"Don't cry over him because it'll only make me want to punch him. I share a room with that idiot. I could smother him to death in his sleep instantly for making you upset."

You shrugged, pulling away from Kai and wiping your eyes, feeling like a fool. "I deserve it."

Kai shook his head, "no, you don't. No one deserves to be treated like dirt. Why do you think I even let you come into our lives?"

"I flashed my s at Lay?"

Kai chuckled, "you've still got a sense of humour even when you're upset because of Kyungsoo." You looked away at the mention of his name and Kai held your face in his hands, bringing you back to look at him. "He still loves you, trust me. He's just being cold because he doesn't know what else to do. He probably thinks you don't like him the way he likes you."

"I'll say."

"So just tell him?" Kai said, "problem solved?"

"I'd tell him if he wasn't outright ignoring me and being cold the entire time."

"Well you've got my support. Chanyeol might take to rejection by getting upset, whinging and getting punched but I'm different," Kai said, smiling a little sadly. "You're Haneul and I'm Kai and although, of course, I'd much rather you be with me, hyung and I had an agreement."

"An agreement?"

"Whoever you chose, we had to be happy for them." Kai paused, "and... You chose hyung."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't say sorry. Don't apologise for your feelings because there's nothing I can do about it. Except kill hyung. That'd be nice. Would you like that? At least then he wouldn't be making you upset-"

"Don't you dare."

Kai grinned, ruffling your hair because now it was the only way he could show affection. What could have been back hugs and light kisses was now restricted to purely platonic actions and he bit the hollows of his cheeks, holding everything in with all his might.

"Hyung's lucky to have you so don't be afraid to tell him. Tell him before it's too late. Maybe that's why you didn't fall for me- I was too late."

"I liked Kyungsoo when I first arrived."

Kai shrugged, setting the tea towel down on the work top and walking out of the kitchen.

"Then I really was too late." 

You nodded, just slightly. Just like I'm too late.

 

***

 

You groaned as Lay slipped into the study space you were sitting in. He was holding a textbook, signalling that he was here to work, not talk, but as soon as he opened his mouth, you glared at him. Seeing that you really weren't in the mood, he sat down quietly beside you and waited, flicking mindlessly through the book he'd brought just to have an excuse to sit in the same area. Eventually once you had grown even more frustrated, you looked at him pointedly and he picked up a sheet of paper, scribbling a note to you on it.

Are you okay?

"Am I okay?" you thought, "what sort of question is that?"

Is it Kyungsoo?

You glared at him before scribbling back. Yes.

Want to talk about it?

No.

You don't have a choice.

Looking up at him, he smiled and you realised how unfair you were being. This was Lay, and you couldn't forget he had feelings for you. Or at least he had said that he did.

I know you probably hate me.

 

You stopped him, holding his wrist so that he couldn't continue writing. I don't hate you.

But you don't like me

Not in that way, no.

You like Kyungsoo.

Yes.

But he doesn't know.

No.

You paused. Because I'm too late. I've ruined everything.

Nothing's ruined yet.

You looked up at him and he chuckled slightly which sounded like an uproar in the silent library, earning a few curious looks your way.

But pissing him off isn't going to help your case.

Why is everyone being nice to me? 

Because we care about you?

You shouldn't.

Too late.

 

He laid down his pen on the table and picked up a pencil and rubber, beginning to draw a chain of 13 stick men. On one of them, he colored in some long hair and you watched, mesmerised by how awful his artwork could be. He pointed to the girl and looked at you as if to say "that's you." You nodded, answering back, "I know."

He colored in some ground and taking another piece of paper, scribbled another note.

That's us. All of us. 

He began to rub out the black line he had drawn under all of your feet and once the line was gone, he wrote another note.

Even when the ground is shaky or our external support is gone, there's still the 13 of us holding hands.

He drew a thick black line above the stickmen's heads.

And even when something's pushing down on us, forcing us to be cramped: there's still the 13 of us holding hands.

Taking the drawing, he wrote something over it and scrunched it up, throwing it at you across the tiny desk you were at. You missed the catch and bent down to pick it up. Standing up, he knelt down beside your chair and planted a sweet kiss on your cheek, patting your hair. Just as you were about to unravel the piece of paper to look at what Lay had written, he stood up and left, leaving you alone in the deafening quiet.

Even when we've been crushed to pieces, there will always be the 13 of us.

Through thick and thin, there will always be the 13 of us.

 

 

 

---

KAISOO / BAEKYEOL / HUNHAN SHIPPERS: please tweet me your favorite photos of your otp @haneul_gateun ^^ 

HD would be preferable since I want to use the images to draw from and if poss, please no mikes in the photo. It'd also be helpful if it was more of a face shot than a whole body but really, any of your favorite images would be a huge help and I'd love you forever and ever!