"Jaemin's got a bit of a man crush on you."

You had been looking for Kris for a little while, wanting to talk to him. Although it wasn't odd for the dormitory to be empty, you felt suddenly more lonely than ever and seeing the build up of suitcases in the living room only left you feeling even more miserable. Thankfully, you saw the shadow of someone sitting on the balcony as the light streamed in through the curtains and judging by the figure's size, you could tell exactly who it was.

"Really? A man crush on me?"

"And you didn't tell me you were in some list of top Asian models."

"There's lots I haven't told you."

"Are you being secretive with me?"

"Isn't secretive y?"

"No," you replied bluntly, "no, it's not."

"Well it's not like you aren't being secretive either," Kris said, looking up at you. "Who have you chosen? You seem like you've made up your mind a little?"

"You're awfully forward."

"And you're not telling me anything," Kris laughed, raising his eyebrows.

 

---

 

Kyungsoo lay on a bed in the nurses room in the high school, wanting to escape and sleep for a while. The nurse, noticing him and recognising him, smiled and left him to make himself comfortable. She offered a cup of water which Kyungsoo had gratefully accepted and after taking a long sip, he slipped under the covers and closed his eyes. All was well and it had been a good half an hour or so of peaceful sleep until he heard the door click open. His eyes didn't open and he waited, listening to see who was looking to find the nurse. He reasoned that if he had to, or if it was urgent, he'd get out of bed and help as the nurse still hadn't reappeared. To his surprise however, the curtain enclosing him in his private sleeping area was drawn back and he was met with the eyes of Aki who looked equally as startled to see him. It wasn't long before the door opened again and Kyungsoo's eyes met Kai's. 

"You're a bit pale, aren't you?"

"Is that a smile I see?" Kyungsoo replied wearily, sipping some more water.

"Of course not."

"Are you enjoying my sickness?"

"Of course not."

"Are you a stuck record?"

"Hyung!"

Kyungsoo chuckled, reaching into his pocket and pulling out some paracetemol. After knocking back two pills, he focused his attention back to Kai and Aki. 

"Are you two dating?"

Aki turned crimson and Kai's eyes widened as he stared at his friend lying in the bed. "Why would we be?"

"Relax," Kyungsoo smiled, "it's nothing to get het up about, is it?"

Kai and Aki turned to each other, the younger girl reading Kai's facial expression immediately. She dismissed herself, saying that she'd be in the council room and for Kai to come and find her afterwards. Once she had left and the boys had heard the door safely close behind her, Kai made a grab for the elder's collar, holding him and hoisting him into a seated position.

 

---

 

"Do you know what?" Kris was still huddled up on the balcony- a spot that looked far from comfortable for him being a stumbling, babbling giant and all. "Lay's not going to bloody China."

"He isn't?"

"No." Kris said, "but Tao is."

Your felt your eyebrows raise slightly. Of course Tao had told Kris about his feelings towards going home. Of course he had.

"He's really grateful you let him rest his head on your shoulder- figuratively, of course."

You shrugged, "he needed it. We all need someone to talk to now and then."

Kris nodded, not really knowing what you meant. Although he wasn't the oldest, he'd always been assigned the position of being in charge. And although Suho was great support, it was usually Kris who kept everyone in check. If Sehun was acting up and Suho couldn't handle his childishness, a stern word from Kris would do the trick. Behind the scenes, along with Kyungsoo and Xiumin, it was usually Kris holding everything together and glueing pieces back whenever something broke.

"What's it like being the youngest?" He asked wistfully, "you're younger than everyone but we still treat Sehun like the kid."

"It's nice. I feel like I can lean on anyone. I don't have to be strong all the time."

You were allowed to be weak. You could show your emotions and you didn't have to hold out. If something upset you, then you'd show it. If you were scared, you'd show it. And help and support would naturally follow.

"Kyungsoo's only just holding out, you know-"

"I know."

"And Chanyeol's coming to his end-"

"I know."

"And Kai-"

"Kris! I know!"

Kris stared at you, a little startled. In the quiet night, your sudden rise in volume had shocked him, the difference more evident as the sound echoed around in the empty air. 

"I'm sorry..." you started, "I shouldn't have shouted."

"No, don't be silly. I should be sorry. I know it's hard for you."

You shook your head, "don't be ridiculous, they're like this because of me."

"Don't turn yourself into the bad guy, Haneul. You're equally as frustrated." Kris said, "if you weren't a girl and it was all completely your fault then I'd have punched you in the face and told you to man up by now. Actually, I would have still told you to man up irregardless of whether or not you're a girl if it really was all your fault."

"Well that's a little reassuring," you said sarcastically, adding a dark and low-voiced "cheers."

"Ever the ball of sunshine, aren't you?"

"I think you're getting me mixed up with Baekhyun."

Kris laughed and stood up, patting your head. Over time you had grown used to the gesture. Everyone did it to you, though some far more often than others, but it was a way the boys showed affection towards you when a hug wasn't the most appropriate. At first, you had found it a little condescending but you eventually realised it was anything but. It was simply sweet. 

 

---

 

Kyungsoo didn't move. He just smiled in a strange sort of sick and twisted way. Kai was right- Kyungsoo was awfully pale. And seeing Kyungsoo, pale and frail, smiling whilst being held at the neck sent shivers down Kai's spine. His grip on Kyungsoo's collar loosened slightly and he found his hands shaking.

"What the hell was that for, hyung?!"

Kyungsoo's smile broke out into a laugh and it was then that Kai let go of him completely.

"Hyung?" Kai repeated, "what's wrong? Why are you being like this?"

Kyungsoo lay back down, his mouth still curved in a smile. Kai almost couldn't bring himself to look at him acting so strangely. It was at the point of creepiness, almost as if Kyungsoo was laughing at an internal misery he felt inside him. Once he was back to lying down with his eyes shut, Kai noticed him biting his bottom lip and before he could open his mouth to ask if he was cold, two tears slipped out from either side of Kyungsoo's shut eyes.

 

---

 

"So is he really going then? Tao?"

Kris in his cheeks, nodding. "Yeah."

"How did you manage that?"

"With a bit of force."

"Force?"

"Like your force."

"My force?"

Kris turned to you, a lopsided grin on his face. "Didn't you whack him in the face after he saved your life?"

"Oh... That force."

"Yes," Kris said, tapping your nose playfully, "you remember that, do you?"

"As if I wouldn't remember something like almost dying and slapping the person that went after me. Jinri's been texting me non-stop about it." You sighed, "it was out of line, wasn't it?"

"Depends why you slapped him, doesn't it?" Kris replied cooly, "you didn't slap him because he saved you."

"I slapped him because he lied," you explained, instantly regretting it when you noticed Kris's expression. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You definitely don't like him, do you? At least not in that way."

"If I liked him then I'd probably go as far as running to the airport and stopping him from leaving."

"And what about Huiling?"

"What about her?"

"Would you do anything to her?"

"If I was really desperate then I guess so? I'd probably hit anyone getting in the way of me and someone I like- if they like me back too, of course."

Kris smirked knowingly, "so who, if they were suddenly leaving you, would you chase after? Who would you hit someone for? Because hitting Huiling is just so... I can't imagine it."

"Neither can I. But you know what they say, desperate times call for desperate measures."

 

---

 

"I'm sorry for doing that to you and Aki earlier."

"What's wrong?" Kai asked, his voice softening as he laced his fingers with Kyungsoo's.

"I think she likes you."

"Don't be ridiculous."

Kyungsoo breathed out heavily, letting out a large sigh. "I'm not being ridiculous, Jongin."

Kai winced. Jongin. He wasn't sure if he liked being called that. "Well why do you think she likes me then? Where's your proof?"

"We saw you and Aki when she confessed," Kyungsoo said, his eyes still shut, eyelashes resting daintily on his skin, "she looked upset."

"Doesn't mean that was because of Aki though," Kai reasoned. "Is this why you're like this?"

Kyungsoo didn't know if it was pity or mockery he detected in Kai's tone of voice but either way, his eyes flew open and he grabbed the younger boy by the shoulders, shaking him and shouting like a madman. "I've waited the longest for 's sake! I've been waiting for goddamn long and I can't wait any longer! Why does she have to be like this?!"

Kai's own eyes widened, almost as much as they had done when Aki was in the room and Kyungsoo had asked about the nature of their relationship. Seeing Kyungsoo like this and seeing Kyungsoo curse was something completely out of the ordinary. He never thought he'd see it. Kyungsoo could get angry, sure. He could certainly throw a few punches too. But one thing Kyungsoo could never, ever do was spit poison. He couldn't ever say a word against one of his friends, and especially not the ones he counted as his family. Even Baekhyun, who had managed to reduce Kyungsoo to his knees begging for forgiveness, never once heard him utter a bad word. Kyungsoo was angry at him for accusing his then-girlfriend of indescribable things but at that time, because he cared about both of them, all he did was throw a punch and tell him to back off. He never once blamed Baekhyun for anything and although he wasn't blaming you, the underlying tone was one of anger and hurt.

"I've shown her everything. She's seen everything. She's seen my bad side, she's seen my good side. She's even seen my past now and all I can think about is her seeing my future, standing by my side." Kyungsoo whispered, "I think I'm going crazy. I've never wanted anything more."

Kai and Kyungsoo's hands lay limp within each other, despite them holding hands.

"I don't think I even wanted my family to come back as much as I want her to look at me," Kyungsoo said quietly, "I just... I don't understand it."

"What don't you understand?" Kai said, trying to stay firm and be of comfort at the same time, "because this is life. Sometimes you get knockbacks."

"I had my knockback last year!" Kyungsoo yelled suddenly, surprising Kai who had thought that he looked far too ill to do anything but mumble and whisper. "I had the worst time of my life last year! I finished the year completely torn apart, feeling worthless! I was fooled and I gave myself away so easily to a girl like Shinyeong. I dated the girl who was in on all the plans. All she wanted to do was hurt us and I was the gateway. I'm the goddamn reason they even managed it! They put us in hospital, they ruined our home and they-"

"They brought us closer together though, didn't they?"

"But I can't even look at Haneul without feeling guilty! I hate myself because I love her so much and here I am, being the one guilty of causing harm to her last year," Kyungsoo said, laying back down, "she got hurt because of me."

"Then make it up to her, hyung."

"I'll never be able to."

"Never say never."

"Shut up."

Kai stood up, retracting his hand. Kyungsoo still didn't open his eyes, despite feeling the warmth from his palms disappear. 

"I'll tell the others you're here. Get some sleep and I'll come back to take you back to the dorm."

"I don't need to sleep, Kai. Don't treat me like I'm younger than you."

"Hyung, be quiet and go to sleep," Kai said, maintaining a firm appearance for Kyungsoo's sake. He couldn't completely understand how he felt because, after all, he wasn't the one to be decieved by his ex-girlfriend. One thing he did know though was that Kyungsoo was ill and verging bed-ridden and that meant that almost everything Kyungsoo was saying was coming from his heart and that he wouldn't remember any of it when he woke up. Quite frankly, he was talking out of his arse. "Just go to sleep. You'll wake up back at home, I'll make sure of it, okay?"

Kyungsoo lay still, unmoving, and Kai gently squeezed his hand to let him know that he was leaving. He drew the curtains shut and walked towards the door, looking at the time. Aki would still be in the council room if he ran quickly. As the door handle clicked open, a meek whisper echoed around the room.

"I'm sorry, Jongin- for shouting at you."

"Don't worry. I forgive you, hyung."

 

 

---

Okay I know you probably hate me because I hate myself too. I didn't want this to be too emotional but then I got swept up with Kyungsoo and Kris and the whole affair and now look what I've written. We have Kyungsoo crying next to Kai in the school nurse's room. This is what happens when you listen to the bloody Miracles in December album NON STOP AS SOON AS IT COMES OUT BECAUSE IT'S TOO DAMN GOOD BUT SO SAD AT THE SAME TIME ugh, I'm sorry. Maybe I can make the next chapter a bit more cheerful (unlikely because I don't think I'll ever stop listening to this GOLDEN album, nuh uh uh, nope kyungsoo baekhyun chen chaNYEOL LAY STOP LUHAN WITH YOUR GODDAM VOICES OR I'LL DIE)

But on another, not so weird, 'haneul why are you such a freak sometimes' note, let's talk about the news! This story got featured! Ah!

I have no words. Really, seriously, no words. My mood has been swept up into the air and I just cannot believe that this has been featured! I'm chuffed to say the least, and in the most non-arrogant way, I feel so exceptionally proud that both 'That Girl, That Boy' and 'That Girl, Which Boy?' were featured. It's like I have a featured series now ^^ 

In all honesty though, as much as I'm thankful for all your congratulatory comments and messages and tweets and other various means of communication, I just want to kneel on the floor before you and bow down to you all. Because although this is my story and my work, I only get out what you give to me. Your subscriptions, upvotes, comments and just the smallest little things really do just make me so so happy and this feature and the previous one is all down to you guys. So really, thank you for doing this for me. I promise to write more as long as you promise to stick by me and support me in my writing! FIGHTING! WOO!

Old readers: wow, thank you for sticking by me for so long. It's been a journey, hasn't it? All these hiatuses and holidays and periods where I can't update... You're all incredible. And hello to my new readers too! I've been reading all the comments on both this story and 'That Girl, That Boy' and I A) feel bad because you guys have to read 100+ chapters in both stories and B) feel happy because you're actually reading those 100+ chapters... I congratulate you on staying alive!

And for all of you telling me you love me and my stories, it's not that I don't appreciate it because I really really do BUT just remember this: