Unknown to you, Kai stood in the shadows of a tree, listening. When he had seen Lay hurry past him as he made his way in the direction of the dorm, he hadn't bothered to try to stop him. He looked like he had been crying and Kai considered that he was probably one of the people Lay least wanted to see at that moment- purely because of the fact that both boys liked the same girl.

Perhaps he had been crying because Kris had picked yet another fight with him, Kai thought. After all, Kris had been on the war path ever since the party to the point where Tao wasn't even able to cool him down once he started. And speaking of Tao, he wasn't in great shape either.

The older hyungs all joked that he was comfort eating to get over Lay's sudden return to China and for the most part, it was true. Tao was beside himself knowing that one of the native Chinese were leaving the pack. He had always found comfort in Kris, Luhan and Lay, knowing that if he didn't understand something, he'd be able to ask quite easily. Having a few other Chinese friends made dealing with life in Korea just that bit easier. He'd been taught survival Korean within the space of a few long, hard and tiring months from when he first arrived and now having one of the strings from his support system be cut felt like a part of his world falling down. He wanted to hold it back up and support himself but knowing that Lay was leaving had only fueled his desire to return too.

"If he's making you so upset, just forget about him." 

Kai looked at Luhan who was no longer hugging you. He didn't want to be spotted but couldn't help but peer when he heard a soft sob leave your lips.

"I don't think I can," you whispered, tears slipping out, "it's him, Luhan, it's him."

Kai felt winded. The air in his lungs was gone. Oxygen left him. Everything left him. Now everyone had left him. Everyone apart from Aki.

"Why did he have to tell me?" you sobbed, "why does he have to leave?"

Luhan felt his heart ache and he looked away, wincing. His chest rose and fell rapidly at he tried to maintain composure. Kai, on the other hand, had sunk to his knees. His mouth was open slightly and kept blinking, his brain still trying to process the information. He couldn't cry, though he had always thought he would if you were to reject him. He wasn't shocked though considering the way you had floated to Kyungsoo the night before like it was the easiest thing. You had also been talking to Chanyeol all night rather cosily. It just hadn't seemed like it would ever be Lay.

Of all people, Lay.

He had been so rude to you the night before and although he understood it might have been anger because you had slapped him after being brought back from the land of the dead, what he couldn't understand was why you would choose him.

"Luhan, he was right. I am an idiot. How could I not have realized?"

Kai clutched at his chest and looked up to the sky, trying to stop the threatening tears from falling out.

"How could I have not have seen it before? Why is it only becoming clear now?"

"Why did you decide it was Lay?" Luhan asked cautiously. You already knew Lay was leaving and yet you wanted Lay and not the others.

"I know he's leaving and I know the others aren't but I still just want him. I'm selfish but I want to be happy. I want to have him with me, Luhan." You said, "he's always looked out for me and I've never seen that. I've never properly looked at the way he looks at me. But now I do. Now I get it. I get why he was always around and I get why he would jump into trouble for me. I understand now that he's told me he-..."

You couldn't finish.

"He what?"

"He loves me," you whispered. "But he told me he didn't mean it. He told me that none of what he said was true and that he lied to me. Luhan, I'm so confused. Can you just fall out of love so easily? Just like that?"

Luhan shook his head, placing his hands in his lap. "You don't get over someone that quick, Haneul. It took me months of time away from the person I liked for those feelings to fade away." Luhan was quiet, "But Lay still loves you, Haneul. He really does. I know about the things he's done for you and for him to forget about those feelings and push them away, it would probably kill him to do it. He's always been at the sidelines protecting you. He moved class to be with you. He brought you to his most sacred places. You've seen his scars. Lay would never have taken a shirt off before you arrived- before he became attached to you. But once he found his feelings and they started growing, he didn't care about what others thought of him and his body. He thought of you and you only."

You wiped your eyes, listening to Luhan's comforting words. You wanted to believe him but hearing the things Lay had done behind the scenes for you and remembering that he was leaving in a matter of days simply made everything worse.

"He's so damn stubborn. He's weird and he's annoying and he makes me so blinking angry at times, especially now making you cry like this but Lay really cares about you. He's always putting you before himself which is stupid because if anyone's not supposed to get hurt, it's him. I don't know what on earth he's thinking by leaving because it doesn't make sense at all. He loves you, Haneul, he really does."

"It was Huiling, wasn't it?"

"Haneul, you shouldn't point fingers."

"She must have convinced him to come with her. God, I hate her."

"Haneul, come on, listen to yourself. Don't be like this."

"Isn't she the one stopping Lay and I being together?"

"I think the one stopping you two being together is Lay himself."

"How can he be like this?"

"You make a good couple- the idiot couple."

"Hey!"

"Promise me not to be bitter. Promise me that you'll keep your cool even if Lay has taken his word back."

"He's not going to China. I'll make sure of it. I'll get that idiot back. I will."

Luhan smiled and placed an arm around you, "There we go. That's the Haneul I know."

Standing up, Luhan gently leant down and kissed the top of your head. He held you for a little longer before smiling and lightly pinching your cheeks. 

"I need to grab lunch quickly before my class starts. Do you want to come with me?"

You shook your head, "I think I might go home for lunch."

Home- a word that had taken you long enough to say. For the longest time, you remembered feeling weird and strange if you referred to the dorm as your home. You had felt like an intruder. And now, everything was different. You had settled in and here you were, causing chaos in your wake. But isn't that what home is? The place you feel the safest is also the place where you're most vulnerable. Because why bother being defensive at home? 

And just like that, that vulnerability had led you to these inconsumable feelings for a certain boy. Lay hated himself at the worst of times. He thought he was tainted, ugly, and unwanted. He thought he was weak and a coward. But you could see he wasn't. 

He stood up against the people he was scared of. He rose up on stage. And with Luhan revealing more about the things he had done behind the scenes, you also knew now about his caring motives. When before you had simply dismissed his actions as simply being friendly, you now saw the care in his eyes whenever he had smiled at you. You were grateful more than anything but thinking about what once was your loving friend Lay compared to the way he was now brought a new surge of tears to your eyes.

"Don't cry." A toasted sandwich appeared in front of you. "Here, I bought you one. It's ham and cheese."

You looked up and your eyes widened. "Kai?"

"You haven't eaten yet, have you?"

"No," you replied.

He pressed the wrapped sandwich into your open palms. "Good, then you've got no reason to reject this."

When you didn't take the food, feeling in no mood to eat, Kai sighed and began unwrapping the paper around it. He held it up to your mouth. 

"Say ah."

You took a bite and chewed, taking the sandwich from Kai and holding it yourself so that he could eat too. Sitting in silence, you choked back your tears, not wanting Kai to see you like this. You still weren't sure how you'd have to break the news to him and the others. In fact, that was the thing that was scaring you the most. 

"You know you asked me about Aki last night?" Kai said eventually, breaking the comfortable silence. "About her confession and what I was going to do about it?"

You glanced at him but he wasn't looking at you, not anymore. He was looking through the fence at the high school students. A tuft of blue hair appeared- Aoi in his uniform, and just a few steps behind him was Aki holding a clipboard. Kai swallowed and you traced the outline of his jaw with your eyes, stopping at his adam's apple that swallowed every now and then. 

He was holding back his tears.

"I'm going to accept it." A sad smile found it's way to Kai's lips. "It's funny. I always saw her as a cute, younger sister- not as a grown girl with feelings of love. But she's seen me at my worst. She knows my weaknesses and flaws and she knows I'm not all I seem. Both of them do, the twins. They know the secrets of our school and yet they both stand by my side."

He sighed, watching Aki point and write something on the clipboard. It seemed like they were taking a survey and both you and Kai kept your focus on the kids in uniform. 

"I didn't think I'd learn to love anyone after hyung came here. But I learnt to love you, and in time I'll learn to love her too."

You weren't sure what Kai was doing. His sudden feelings for Aki didn't make sense but although it was horrible and cowardly for you to be happy he was doing it, it meant that you wouldn't have to reject him. Because he was here, reclaiming his confession to give to someone else, even if this confession didn't seem completely genuine. 

Kai paused, composing himself as Aki disappeared from view.

"I'm going to tell her that I'm still not sure how I feel about her. If she doesn't want to be with me until I'm sure, I'll wait until I know. She's still young but if she's willing to give me a chance to learn to love her then I'll take it. I should love her fully because that's what she deserves. It's selfish of me to do this but I'm going to accept it, even though I'm only just starting to see her in the same way."

"So," your voice cracked and you cleared your throat hurriedly, "you're going to date her?"

"If she wants to date someone whose heart is still half filled with another person, then yes." Kai smiled, "but those feelings for you, they'll go with time. They'll float away one day and I'll be able to love someone else fully, be it Aki or another girl. I know it's unfair to her now but if she's willing to give me a chance then we'll take it slow. Of course, if she doesn't want to then I'm fine with that too. I'll understand."

"Kai..." you whispered, tears rolling down your cheeks. It seemed like you'd be crying a lot that day.

Kai stood up, rapidly blinking and ran his fingers through his hair. "Thank you for letting me love you, Haneul. But from today onwards, I will no longer have feelings for you."

"Oppa..."

"I'll love you eternally, Haneul, but only as a sister, nothing more." Kai said, forcing a laugh, "we won't be anything more, even if you beg!"

You couldn't hold it in any longer and you rose to your feet, wrapping your arms around Kai, taking him by surprise. He felt his heart rate rise rapidly but this time, he was able to simply pat your head and smooth your hair. He didn't have the urge to kiss you in any way apart from a sweet one on the forehead like Luhan had done. It surprised him that he hadn't started crying.

"But let's forget that I ever had feelings for you. I'm really happy that I loved you but if it burdens you then let's forget it all. I'll always be here for you though, Haneul, you know that right? I'll never leave. None of us will ever leave each other."

You nodded, letting go of him. "Thank you."

"I should go... to tell Aki." Kai said, "I want to surprise her and pay her a visit in class."

You chuckled whilst still trying to control your crying, "Aki's a lucky girl."

"Yeah she is, isn't she?"

I'm crying buckets. Literally buckets.

EXO at the Melon Awards. SHINee at the Melon Awards. Ailee at the Melon Awards. Need I say anymore? My poor heart ;___; 

I'm gonna guess we've got 2-3 more chapters left of this ending! It's so close but I'm so excited to write! Look at how quick I've been updating! I know this one was slightly shorter than the previous ones but aren't you all super proud of me?!