23PM

It was dark…

He was standing in front of me… He was turned toward the cityscape… It was indeed amazing at night! I couldn’t take my eyes off this beautiful view. I shook my hand.  I’m here to talk to him… not to be amazed by the cityscape!

Actually, we were on the roof, when he first “confessed” to me.

I texted him earlier because I wanted to meet him alone.

I wanted an explanation!

My hands stayed in my chest for a while.

 I was praying very hard with all my heart.

L.Joe, I trust you!

I cleared my throat and he finally noticed my presence but he didn’t turn to face me.

-I’m glad you’re here… I really wanted to talk to you too…

His voice broke my heart! He was speaking with a sad voice.

I was stressed. It felt like his words were going to hurt me!

I clenched my fists and closed my eyes… Please…Please… Don’t disappoint me! If I can’t trust you, who can I trust?

-I…For what you saw earlier…

My eyes suddenly widened and I felt that my heart stopped for a second.

He…knew it already?

-…I’m really sorry… You weren’t supposed to see that…

He regrets the kiss? Did he just apologies? That means that he still loves me, right?

 He cares about my feelings? Plus he can’t look straight in my eyes… so he really wants to apologies and admit that it was a mistake?

In that moment, with all my love and hope, I walked to him with a shy smile in my lips…

In that time…

-… but I’m glad you did! Min Yeon-ahh, I love her so much… his voice was full of sadness

… I was so naïve!

My feet stopped moving. His words were more than hurting! They were killing my heart…

-…her… I muttered Hae Woo

He turned to see me. I hung my head. I didn’t want to look at him because if I do so, I knew that my breaking heart will recover and my feelings for him will grow… I couldn't let those feelings overcome the pain I felt! I couldn't look at him and realized that he loves someone else…

 I heard footsteps. I wasn’t able to think properly! Please don’t come near to me…

My eyes were watering and it was harder for me to breathe now, even though we were in an open place.

I suddenly felt a hand in my check.

It was like an electric shock! I pushed him away with all my strength.

-Don’t even dare touching me! I barely shouted

All the sadness that I had, all the regret, all the pain was now replaced with a lack of understanding and anger!   

If you love her don’t be nice to me! Don’t let my feelings overcome the pain!

In the same time, I had millions of questions in my head but no answers! WHY???

All this pressure made my legs trembled! I could fall in any moment! In order to calm down, I took deep breathes for seconds until L.Joe hold my shoulders to help me.

I tried to push him again but he was too strong! Then he hugged me… I was dumbfounded! But in a certain way, I loved this warm feeling given by L.Joe. My heart softened…

Why is he helping me?

Wait! He loves her but maybe it’s new, I mean maybe he has just discovered his old feelings?! He said that he loves her, not that he doesn’t like me!

-That’s okay! I suddenly said with a cracked voice I could imagine his surprise expression I mean you love her but you love me too, right? So I will do my best to keep you by my side! I mean… I must do it because we are still a couple! Even if you feel something for her… you still love me, right?

I don’t know where I found the strength to speak and say those words but I said it! I threw away all the pride that I had in order to never let him go!

But…I didn’t hear any answers.

Don’t do this to me L.Joe! You love me, I know it! You wanted to be my boyfriend because you had feelings for me! Don’t deny it now! Please…

I felt something rolling on my left check but it wasn’t my tears. My eyes widened.

I finally realized…

I pushed him again with less strength, but this time he let go of me.

-Did you ever love me?

This question… the one that was killing me… I finally said it!

 I looked at him, straight in the eyes, when I didn’t hear a word and saw the same expression that I expected: Sadness, regret.

This time, I understood!

He didn’t regret kissing Hae Woo; he didn’t regret all his words… He only regrets lies he said to me!

My own tears were rolling in my checks. This truth made my cry like I never did before.

L.Joe let me cry without saying anything.

 All the things that made me cry and let me in pain were LIES! For 2 months I was fooled by him!

This thought took all my strength!

Everything was a lie, including you saying you loved me...

-I hate you… I said with a broken voice

He tried to walk and came next to me but I stopped him:

-Can you see what I became because of you???

His eyes widened.

-I hate myself more than I hate you! I hate myself for becoming selfish and stupid! You destroyed me…No! I let you destroy me! I changed a lot! I did things that I never did before! You changed me!

They were all right! Hyeon Sik sunbae and Niel were right!

-I hate myself for crying like this in front of you! I hate myself for believing in your lies! I hate myself for letting you hurting me so badly!

-Don’t…

He was crying now… He probably pitied me!

-What should I do for you?  How can I make you forgive me? I will do everything, I swear! Just tell me and I will do everything to make your pain go away!

I wiped my tears away and tried to be more confident but I miserably failed! Tears were always there and my heart was crying even more!

-Don’t say something that you should regret later!

-I will not! I just try to make you feel better! You’re the one who helped me to become a better person! I owe you something!

For 2 minutes, I was thinking about something… A bad thing! I surprised myself!

I looked at him; my heart was suddenly cold… L.Joe, you will regret what you just said!

-I hate myself for what I’m going to say to you…

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I'm sos sorry for the lat updating!  I was so busy! School is really killing me! 

It was hard to write this chapter but I hope you enjoyed it?! PLEASE COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE!<3<3<3

Can you imagine what will Min Yeon say to L.Joe? Ahah^^ 

Sorry for spelling mistakes^^' I try to improve but it's not easy! 

I want to thank you readers and subscribers! You're very presious to me<3

 did you see that? DAEBAK!!!!!! 

(gifs don't belongs to me) 

HAVE A GREAT DAY SUBSCRIBERS AND READERS<3<3<3