I didn’t even bother to hear his explanation and started walking away until he ran after me and grabbed my wrist, hold tight and firm. I was trying to pry off his strong grip but I couldn’t.

“Look at me, please.” He begs, his voice still shaky, why the hell should I look?

“Just let me go!” I snap, voice cracking endlessly, tear stained eyes. I couldn’t even feel my whole body anymore. It was just filled with numbness.

My heart hurts, my brain wouldn’t stop producing lists of why Lu Han kissed her, ‘she’s ten times better than you’, ‘you can’t even say I’m sorry’, ‘why don’t you go play with Lay’.

I couldn’t even say anything because every thought that was going through my head were the truth anyway. She was prettier, richer and just better in every way. Something I’ll never be. I couldn’t even apologize to Lu Han when I still had him.

I wanted to block them all off, but no. They just kept on coming and coming. I wanted to scream but they just got louder and louder as much as I wanted them to shut up.

It hurts, I don’t even know what pain is anymore.

Someone make it stop.

“I hate you!” I shout, finally turning around to face him. He had tears dropping on his beautiful face, I wanted to wipe them away as much as I wanted him to wipe away mine.

He was trying to say something but I didn’t let him, it was probably bull anyway. Did he want me to make me feel like this?

To hurt?

Was he playing with me all along? Who would want me anyway, I was probably just someone who amused him, so that’s why he went along with this relationship .

It was probably just a joke to him. Well, I'd like to give him a pat in the back because he was such a great actor for making me fall for it. After all, everything was just a contract.

Me being his fiancee. It was all just for a show.

Those thoughts wouldn’t just stop coming to my head.

“I ing hate you!” I shout over and over again until he finally looks at me angrily—

How can he even give me that look, it was his fault!

“Heejin, just shut up and let me explain!” he snaps, my eyes widen. That was the first time he had ever raised his voice on me.

I stop, silence.

Before Lu Han could explain, Han Na walked towards us and smirked, “What you saw, was exactly what you think. Lu Han grabbed me and kissed me passionately, he even mentioned how stupid and boring you were—“

She was cut off by Lu Han’s glare at her, if looks could kill, she was probably in the pits of hell already.

“JUST PLEASE SHUT THE UP!“ he shouts at her,

Tears start streaming down my face, was she telling the truth? But I don’t think Lu Han would do that to me—

But can he?

Knowing him, he probably thought this was a good way to get back at me. It was possible but I didn’t want to believe it.

“Lu Han, just leave me alone.” I say as I once more try to get free from his hold,

He looks at me pleadingly, “Please, let me explain,” he begs, tears were already b at the corner of his eyes. Please don’t cry.

“No, I don’t think I’m even worth your time. Just continue your little play with her,” I shout,  frustration building up.

I don’t even want to think right now— Hell, I don’t even want to see his face.

“I love how you don’t even let me explain,” he laughs bitterly, with a sour expression on his face, and I look at him with a surprised expression.

Where does he find the audacity to say these things to me?

“Do you know why I didn’t pry on your little business with Lay nights ago?” he asks, I wanted to shake my head but he just continued-

“It was because I knew about the way he felt towards you, and I knew that he probably told you all about it.”

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING? DID YOU WANT ME TO GO WITH HIM?” I shout, angrily, why didn’t he-

He just looked at me with fury marked all over his face,

“See, this is what I’m talking about,” he says, the bitter tone still audible. I hate hate hate hate it when he uses that tone.

“I DIDN’T ASK YOU BECAUSE I TRUSTED YOU, I KNEW THAT YOU WOULDN’T GO OFF WITH LAY BEHIND MY BACK!” he finally snaps and something within me sparked.

He trusted me—

But the thoughts inside my head still wouldn’t vanish and so was the betrayed feeling filling up my whole chest.

“And you won’t even dare listening to my explanation,” he says, almost too soft for it to be heard but I did anyway, his voice was filled with disappointment that I couldn’t even grasp it.

“I thought you knew me better,” he adds.

“I trusted you but how will this relationship ever work out if you won’t even trust me?” he asks, I could hear all the frustration and hurt in his voice and it pained me.

Why couldn’t I?

I didn’t say anything and he didn’t either. His grip on my wrist loosened and he looked away far off the distance, and completely let go of me.

He walked away, not looking back. Not even once.

I don’t know if it’ll ever be the same.

I don’t even know if I should hear him out— but I knew that I had to trust him but I couldn’t find the will to.

I just wanted to cry. Alone.

“You deserve it, .” Han Na just says with much amusement as I slowly hear her vanishing footsteps. I just don’t even know anymore—

My knees gave in and I fell into the ground, sobbing. I couldn’t stop, all I could do was cry the pain out if it was even possible.

It was like the pain was never ending. It kept on coming and coming as soon as I thought it was already gone. Make it stop. Please.

The cold seeped through my skin but I couldn’t even feel blood flowing in me, it was just coldness. I felt nothing, and it was better that way.

Han Na’s POV

I love Lu Han, I still do and I don’t plan on giving him up to that stupid that just came out of nowhere, claiming that she’s his fiancée.

Like I’d buy that.

I’d do anything to get him back and I’m just getting one step closer to it.

I went back in the hotel, looking back at her disheveled figure, she looked so lost— hurt. I love it, I love that expression on her face.

Suffer, you stupid .

I’ve been together with Lu Han longer than you, I’ve known him longer than you and I know him better than you.

Knowing Lu Han, I know that he’ll let his pride get the better of him and he probably won’t do anything to get you back.

It’s not like she was worth it in the first place.

Better things will happen. I’m not just Han Na for a reason.

Just you wait, Park Heejin. 

Lu Han’s POV

That was the first time in my life that I had ever, ever shouted at a girl— and to a girl that I love. I trusted her, I did.

I knew about the things that could have possibly happened that night but I let it go, knowing that she wouldn’t have done anything stupid with my friend.

But, she wouldn’t even let me ing explain.

She wouldn’t even spare me a damn second just hearing me out.

I didn’t kiss that woman, who the would? She was the past and I don’t want to relive it. I was just going to take a walk to get fresh air, until I saw Han Na outside, I wanted to walk away from her but she takes my hand and forcefully crashes her lips with mine.

And Heejin just had to come into the scene completely misunderstanding the situation.

I was going to explain but no—

I had to hear, “I ING HATE YOU!”

You know what, it’s fine. I’m already tired. I thought better and trusted her but I guess she didn’t think better of me.

Did she think that low of me?

That I would kiss someone— when I was in love with her? Or did she even believe the words I said? She probably thought they were bull—

I don’t think she ever took me seriously anyway.

Frustration built within me and I couldn’t even stop myself from punching the damn brick wall, and I ended up with a bleeding fist, probably with some bruised bones in there too.

Nothing pained me more than the growing void inside my heart. The emptiness I was feeling now, was nothing compared to the nonstop bleeding on my hands.

Hot tears just started running down my eyes, and I didn’t even have the strength to wipe them away anymore. I don’t even have the strength to wipe away the tears of the one I love.

I just lied on the cold ground, crying silently to myself.

Lost, just like a child never to be found again. 

I love you Heejin, please come back. A few seconds is all I need, please. 

Heejin’s POV

“Heejin, get up!” someone’s voice made me fall out of my trance, I didn’t even realize that I have been lying on the cold snowy ground for the past three hours, just spacing out.

My tear stained face and my numbed body.

I didn’t even bother finding out who the person was because I just simply didn’t give a about anything at the moment, and I don’t think I will for a very long time. Everything was perfect a few days ago and I don’t know what happened.

I can’t even feel anything right now.

I slowly stood up, my weak knees were obviously protesting against my action but I tried my best to stand up.

I finally looked up to the person, Lay was there standing both hands deep inside his pockets, probably to prevent itself from freezing.

“Why are you here? It’s freezing.” His tone was distant— I could tell, but he was still generally concerned which I appreciated.

The last thing I needed was another friend loathing me, I already felt like I lost everything just by losing Lu Han. I didn’t realize how much I felt for him until now, I don’t know if I took him for granted or did he as well. Well, it’s too late now. He probably doesn’t want me anymore and I’m too ing tired to listen to his bull anyway.

But the other side of me wanted to desperately look for him and tell him the words that were deeply engraved in my heart, my true feelings. But I don’t think that it’s going to happen anytime soon, or if ever—

I couldn’t even say anything, I tried opening my mouth but to no avail, no words came out. Tears just started to spring out of my eyes once more.

I’m becoming such cry baby, I pity myself.

I probably look horrible but I can’t even find myself giving a anymore.

Out of nowhere, I felt Lay pull me closer towards him, filling my whole body with warmth. I didn’t protest, I just needed some comfort right now and this was the closest thing to it.

It only took me a few seconds til I completely broke down. He soothingly patted my hair and I couldn’t stop myself from sobbing more and more.

“I don’t know what to do anymore!” I cry out, deeply breathing trying to stop myself from breaking out any more longer.

He doesn’t say anything, he probably knows that it was best to stay silent.

“I’m sorry for everything— really, I’m sorry.” I continue, I don’t even know what I’m sorry about. Sorry about rejecting him? Sorry about myself? Sorry to Lu Han? What.

What is it?

Questions after questions, only to be left unanswered.

“you don’t have to say anything. It’s okay,” he says sincerely, and I just cried silently til it all drowned out. Lay didn’t stop me nor did he say anything, he just stayed with me there silently.

“Thank you, Lay.” I whisper out,

“I’d do anything for you, Heejin.” Was his reply.

longest chapter i wrote ever, probably. omg, this was a pretty sad chapter and it was pretty depressing to write. anyway, guys, please comment! i really love reading your responses. what do you think will happen to their relationship now? Han Na's such a , I know please refrain from throwing bricks at me for making such a character.

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