Jin Ah continued on looking at me with an expressionless face. She stood still under my grip and her eyes didn’t leave mine. I could tell that thousands of thoughts were crossing her mind at the moment and she was having inner battles with her emotions. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her but at the same time I needed her to be in this state. I needed her to be a bit weak in order to be sure she is really listening to what I have to say because she is a stubborn girl and I know she isn’t easy to win over.

I breathed heavily, trying to keep calm from the anger I felt just minutes ago and waited to get any kind of reactions from Jin Ah. But there wasn’t. I lowered my head a bit so I was in her eye-level and squeezed her shoulders slightly, bringing her back to reality. She broke the eye-contact and shook her head a bit before turning to me with a very serious face.

“What are you doing here?” she asked suddenly.

I searched for her eyes before speaking, “I came here to apologize and talk to you.”

“I don’t mean here. I mean, what are you doing in Seoul? Shouldn’t you be somewhere else where important things are waiting for you?!” she asked in an angry tone, clearly referring to the competition I won.

“No, because I’m here now where I have to take care of something more important,” I answered honestly, not giving a damn about the competition.

“Yongguk, I’m not in a mood for joking. How the hell could you leave everything behind? Do you know how many people would kill to be in your place?!”

“I’m being serious,” I slowly released my grip on her shoulders after realizing that she was finally talking to me.

A short ironic laugh left her lips before she turned her gaze back to me, “How could you do this? Just throwing away something you have worked so hard for?”

“I lost something else instead so I stopped caring about anything else,” I confessed, “The moment you ran away from me was the moment I realized that nothing mattered to me anymore.”

I could see her gulp down as her eyes started watering again. She turned her head away from me and crossed her arms across her stomach.

“You shouldn’t be here. You are making a huge mistake.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are Yongguk,” she looked at me again and there was something with her expression that I couldn’t quite put a finger on. “What did your father say?”

“I couldn’t care less about his opinion,” I said right away, “He crossed all the lines the moment he refused to let me go with you.”

“He did the right thing!”

“No, he didn’t! He made everything worse!”

Jin Ah was silent for a few seconds when suddenly her face turned into the angry expression from before, “Don’t you dare blame this on him!”

“Don’t blame what on him? The fact that he refused me to go home with my friends and girlfriend?!”

“There wouldn’t be any problems if you didn’t do the thing you did to me!” she finally blurred out, accepting the fact that we needed to talk about this topic.

I could clearly see her heavy tears that threatened to run down her cheeks and it broke me into pieces to see her like that. The urge to crash her body into mine was so big but the timing was more than wrong. Suddenly I was lost for words just like the day Gyuri started everything. I still remember clearly when Jin Ah asked me that one question that ended everything.

The moment she asked me that, I wanted to tell her that I have changed and that my intention with everything wasn’t the same. I wanted to shout at her not to care about the witch that was standing beside me and only listen to me. I wanted to tell her that I was an idiot for even thinking about such a plan in the beginning. I simply wanted to explain everything to her but my mouth refused to cooperate with me.

Telling her with a simple ‘No, it’s not true’ wouldn’t help me at all. A whole lot of explaining was needed for her to really understand it so I had to answer yes because it was still the truth. I did want to play around with her but that was only in the beginning, before I realized what an awesome girl she really is. Lying and saying ‘No’ was the last thing I wanted to do in the mess that Gyuri had created.

“You are the guilty one,” Jin Ah blurred out, interrupting my train of thoughts, “Whatever your dad did to you was only for your own good and that has nothing to do with us! Even if it was, it’s not like you had a bad time there with your beloved Gyuri.”

I widened my eyes at the last sentence. Jin Ah was looking to hurt me with her words and she actually did. I hated the fact that everything was a misunderstanding because whatever she thought was going on between me and Gyuri was not true at all.

“I hated being there, especially with her. And you know that,” I responded in a low voice.

“That’s not what JR said the other day,” she arched one of her eyebrows in an arrogant way.

My eyebrows connected in disbelief, “What the hell did JR say?!”

“Stop being mad at everyone!” she shouted at me, “Who cares what anyone said about anything. Yongguk, everything is your fault, don’t you get that?!”

“Jin Ah, what did JR say to you?” I asked in a death serious tone.

She rolled her eyes in irritation, “That Gyuri was clinging onto you,” she blurred out in disgust.

“Really? Do you understand the content of the information you just shared? It was her who clung onto me and not the other way around,” I cleared out.

“It’s not like you didn’t like it!”

“I didn’t!” I hit the wall behind her, “Goddamit Jin Ah, I hated it and I couldn’t do anything about it because she is a snake. I hated every second I had to spend with her after you left. I even hated myself for existing and doing such a thing to you,” slowly my anger was replaced by my hurt emotions again. I lowered my voice and spoke gently.

“I’m sorry. I really am. If I could I would take back the time and hit myself in the face before starting any kind of game. Yes, I wanted only to play around with you but that was when you first moved. Ever since I moved to this city I have been the main topic everyone talked about. People were afraid of me and respected me. The moment you entered the skatepark for the first time, I could sense your strong aura around you and I guess I didn’t want to accept the fact that someone similar to me existed.”

Jin Ah’s face expression softened as well and she leaned onto the wall beside her. She lowered her head but I knew that she was still paying attention to the things that I said so I didn’t hesitate to continue because I needed to get everything out now that she allows me.

“With the time, I started realizing that we both were so similar that we just had to be together. After a lot of mental struggle I finally accepted the fact that you are an incredible girl that just belonged together with me. You managed to get me in a way no other girl has ever done and as much as I didn’t want to believe it, it was true. When my father appeared the first time, I was more than thankful to have you beside me. I only did whatever you suggested and I don’t regret doing it, no matter what happened with me and my father in the end.”

As I spoke I saw a few teardrops dripping down her face and onto her shirt. The moonlight that entered the dark room we were in, fell onto her face making the tears shine. The view in front of me kept on crossing my heart and even I could feel my eyes tear up. I didn’t want to lose her just like that.

As a reflex, I didn’t even notice that I stretched out my hand out to brush away her tears. She jerked my hand away for the second time that night and threw me a death glare.

“That doesn’t explain the fact that Gyuri knew about your plan! Just tell me that she was in this the whole time. I’m tired of all lies.”

I ran my hands through my hair in frustration and groaned before turning back to her.

“Gyuri overheard one of my conversations I had with Himchan in the beginning and since then she kind of black mailed me although I still controlled over her but I guess she couldn’t help but reveal everything after realizing that I only cared about you. She wanted to ruin everything and she was kind of succeeding. At first I wanted her to shut up about everything so I can accomplish my plan but after I fell in love with you, I was afraid that she would say something to you and ruin the trust that I build up between us. Which she did I guess, but Jin… our relationship is stronger than that. I just know that.”

I took a step closer to her and brought my hand to her cheek.

“From the night we spend together alone in the skatepark, I have been real towards you. The last night we spend together in the States was seriously the best night in my life. The moment you indirectly confessed to me, I felt complete because the girl I was madly in love with actually felt the same way. I was the happiest guy in the world and no Jin Ah, not even winning a competition could over win the happiness I feel when I’m with you.”

I caressed her cheek gently with my thumb, brushing away her tears at the same time.

“I’m so sorry. Please forgive me for being an idiot. I will never let this happen to us again because I know we are stronger than this. I’m not going to let a stupid game or a jealous snake ruin this wonderful relationship and I just know that you feel the same way. I know it Jin Ah because we think the same way. You are my other half and without you I’m incomplete.”

I sighed after letting everything out and damn it felt good. It felt good to finally confess and clear up all the misunderstandings. I searched for her eyes again but failed because she closed them and started taking deep breaths. It was so much for her to process, I knew that, but I still needed some kind of reaction to confirm that she was forgiving me.

A few seconds passed when she finally opened her eyes and looked straight into mine. The wait was driving me crazy so I had to get the answer in another way. I put my other hand on her other cheek and brought my face close to hers. We could feel each other’s breaths on our lips and it was a wonderful feeling. There wasn’t basically any space between us except that tiny part filled with air that was between us. I closed my eyes and waited for her to make the last move. To connect our lips and forget about everything that happened to us. To forgive me and kiss me like nothing else mattered anymore. Seconds turned into hours and I suddenly started feelings uneasy. I was afraid that she would reject me and run away. I didn’t want that to happen and prayed to God that she would accept my apology.

And just like that, my prayers have been answered the moment I felt her small and soft lips touch mine. They were already wet from her tears and I couldn’t help but let out a small groan because I was more than happy again. The kiss was strong and desperate. I missed this feelings so much that I wanted to take her home and show her how much I really loved her.

I… loved that girl.

She brought her hands up and rested them around my neck and I only pushed her behind so her back rested on the wall again before deepening the kiss. She parted her lips that danced perfectly against mine. I bit gently onto her bottom lip, making her leave a silent moan, and started exploring with my tongue.

A strong euphoria filled signal run up my spine and everything was perfect again. Just having her in my arms was enough to calm my concern.

As I was drowning in all those feelings she made me feel I suddenly felt her break the kiss and looking away as she pulled away from my grip. I looked confused at her and waited for an explanation but she only brushed away her hair from her face and straightened her body.

“What’s… going on?” I whispered terrified.

“We..” she took a deep breath, “Just no.”

She started walking towards the door the second time that night and not even this time did I let her walk away. I took hold of her wrist and held it tightly. But this time she was the stubborn one and strongly pulled away from my grip before looking at me one last time.

“We can’t be together,” and with that she ran out of the room and the house, leaving me shaken there alone.

I couldn’t believe this was happening. Right when I thought that everything was alright again, she did something like this. I didn’t even know why. I was so confused that anger was boiling inside of me.

I groaned loudly in anger and kicked the nearest wall which hurt like but my thoughts were still on Jin Ah.

I was hurt and confused.

“This can’t be true,” I whispered to myself as a felt a tear run down my cheek.

***

 Confused. Lost. Angry. Wounded. All those feelings attacked me the moment I opened my eyes in the morning. I felt like a loser and just wanted to stay in my room for the rest of my life. My other half rejected me once again and I had a really hard time believing it. Mainly because this time I didn’t know the reason to why.

“Something is up,” I said as I sat on my bed with my head in my hands.

As hard as it would be, I’m ready to let go of her if that is what she wants but only under one condition. I have to know why. There has to be a reason to why she acted like she did after she kissed me. It was still her who made that last move. She wanted that kiss. She needed it as much as I did yet she ran away just like that. Something must have crossed her mind that stopped her in her action and it bugged me to death.

“I need to know what,” I stood from my bed and headed towards the bathroom to take a cold shower.

While passing by the living room I saw my mother talking on the phone and had a sad expression on her face. I furrowed my eyebrows and entered the room to take a seat beside her. I waited for her to end the call before asking what was up.

“Such a shame, really,” she commented, “But I guess it’s for the best. He still deserves that chance.”

I arched one eyebrow and tilted my head to the side while still listening to the conversation.

“When did you say you booked the flight? … Already? ... This Friday?… Ahh I see. Well I can make dinner that day before you take off… No it’s not a problem at all! I think the kids wants to say a proper goodbye too.”

I blinked a couple of times at the things she said and she threw me an apologetic look.

“Okay… Yes, talk to you later then. Call me if you need help with the packing.”

And just like that, she ended the call and exhaled once before turning towards me.

“Reading from your face, I guess Jin Ah told you?” my mother asked me out of nowhere.

I looked around before turning towards her again, “Told me what?”

“About her father?”

“What about her father?” I asked in a serious voice.

Now, it was mother who blinked a few times in confusion.

“She really didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what, mom? Just come to the point!” an uneasy feelings crept upwards my spine.

“Her father got a good job offer in the States again so they are moving back,” she informed.

“They are what?!”

“They are moving back this Friday.”

ONLY A FEW MORE CHAPTERS LEFT /ugly crying/