A/N: Wow those comments and upvotes this story got is just... SICK AND AWESOME.
I REEEEALLY LOVE YOU MY READERS! ♥
Now please enjoy the second (long-) update this week and please don't hate me OTL

 

The weather today, just like the rest of the week, wasn’t the typical sunny summer weather. It was cloudy and windy outside, reminding you of a regular autumn afternoon where most people are resting at home after work or school. The surrounding was still wet from the rain that poured in the morning and freshened up your city.

With a plastic bag full of groceries in one hand and your skateboard under your arm, you stood in front of Himchan and Zelo and watched them over your shoulder as you stopped in your track while walking towards the front door.

After Himchan practically begged you to listen to him, you stood still in your spot and waited for him to continue on whatever he had to tell you. You could already sense what he came to talk about and whatever he had to say, wouldn’t change your mind about Yongguk at all. You hated when people send someone else to talk to you and didn’t take things like that seriously until the person himself comes and talks. The only problem is that you actually ignored Yongguk but that’s because what he did was huge and you wouldn’t forgive him so easily. Or ever, in the state you were at these days.

“I came here to clear up some stuff,” he continued gently, “Can we go somewhere so we can talk in peace?” he suggested.

Automatically, you furrowed your eyebrows at his suggestion and turned around immediately. That’s when you saw their face expressions. Himchan looked worried and guilty while Zelo had a depressed expression all over his face.

“No,” you refused simply.

“But noona wh-“

“Zelo, I said no,” you looked at him before turning to Himchan again, “Like I said, if this is about Yongguk then I’m not interested in any of it and I refuse to waste my time on useless excuses.”

Himchan looked down at the ground while nervously rubbing the back of his neck. It was silent for a moment and the only thing that was heard was cars that drove past you. Tired of everything, you took a deep breath before your face relaxed a bit and you turned around to walk away.

“Go home,” you told them and slowly took one step forward before Himchan called your name loudly. You rolled your eyes at this and turned your head around.

“Okay, you’re right,” he said in defeat, “I did came here because Yongguk told me but you’re right. This is something between the two of you so he should fix it all by himself. But…”

You raised your brows in curiosity and dropped the stuff you were holding on the ground before crossing your arms and waiting for him to continue. Zelo, who was standing right beside Himchan, blinked a couple of time while looking everywhere but your eyes. You hated the fact that an innocent guy like him had to be dragged into a situation like this. Not only him, but the rest of Yongguk’s friends were affected by this whole mess just like Himchan’s and Luna’s relationship.

Guilt washed over your mind when you thought about the rest of the crew. You wanted to hug Zelo and tell him that he has nothing to do with anything but you couldn’t do that. You just couldn’t after all the humiliation and weak side that you showed everyone. After everything that happened, you promised yourself to stay as cold as possible and slowly go back to your old self where nothing mattered and you had your own way of living.

“But I didn’t came here just because of that,” Himchan explained after trying to find the right words, “In fact, I was thinking about this the whole time since we landed here but I guess I didn’t had the courage after what my actions did to you.”

“Himchan, what do you want?” you asked in the end, mentioning for him to come to the point.

“I want to apologize for everything. I want to explain my actions and tell you everything from my side, so please listen to the things I have to say and after that…,” he sighed lightly, “If you still want to be mad at me then you can do that but at least you gave me a chance to talk out.”

As mad as you were at Himchan for being involved in Yongguk’s plan, after what he just confessed, you thought about giving him one chance to talk out. At least he was man enough to do it face to face and not send someone else. You shook your head slightly while looking down at the ground.

“Give me a second,” you said in the end and picked up your stuff from the ground before running into your house to leave the groceries your parents needed and walking out of the house again.

Once you stood in front of him, you crossed your arms again and lifted your head in a slightly arrogant way.

“Make it quick, dinner is waiting and Yongguk’s mom is about to come over too,” you warned them, “I don’t want her to hear something.”

“Oh,” Zelo opened his mouth in shock and glanced at Himchan before looking at you again, “Does she know about… anything?”

“I hope not,” you said right away and nodded upwards to Himchan, “Talk.”

With a very guilty expression, he looked right into your eyes and you could feel that the next few minutes would be his most honest minutes in a while.

“Yes, there was a plan from the whole beginning and I kind of helped Yongguk before I got to know you,” he confessed, “I found out your name when you first moved, I called Luna to meet me so Yongguk could get out some information from her, I basically informed Yongguk about everything I found out.”

You watched Himchan in disbelief because the things that left his mouth were unbelievable. His actions were more than wrong so you couldn’t believe that the Himchan you knew would do stuff like that.

“I know what you are thinking,” he said after reading your face expression, “You think that what I did was too much and I know that. I actually knew it just a short while after everything started. Heck I even backed down from the whole thing!”

His emotions were taking over his way of talking so the last sentence came out of his mouth in a very firm and honest tone.

“I didn’t want to help him anymore because that guy was going insane day by day. He never acted like that with other girls so it actually scared me too. That’s when I realized that my best friend wasn’t himself anymore so I ‘let him down’ by going up to you in hope to become friends.”

You listened silently while your mind processed the information you just received. Even Zelo, who apparently also just found out about most of the things, watched Himchan with traumatized eyes.

“After just a couple of days I realized that you were a cool girl so I never even mentioned Yongguk’s plan anymore. I didn’t care about it because I didn’t take it seriously. Everything was so ridiculous that it wasn’t worth considering. Ever since then, I never talked about that with Yongguk. Now, I don’t know if he continued with the plan or actually fall in love. Considering the fact that he cared about your opinion the last couple of weeks I wou-“

“And this is where I have to interrupt you,” you said out of nowhere, catching him off guard, “You explained everything from your side and even though I’m shocked as hell, I still appreciate your honesty. I don’t know if you realized it but you started talking about Yongguk whom I don’t want to think about at the moment.”

Himchan widened his eyes, “Oh, that’s right. Sorry.”

You shook your head, “It’s okay.”

The second Himchan mentioned Yongguk and his feelings, your mind began shouting at you to stop him from saying anything more. At the same time, your heart wanted to hear that one thing that Yongguk didn’t say when you asked him in front of everyone.

“Wow,” you said to yourself loudly.

“Jin Ah, there aren’t words that can describe how terrible I feel for doing such a thing. I’m so sorry for making you feel betrayed but I can swear on everything on this planet that it was only in the beginning when we weren’t befriended yet. You are a friend that I don’t want to lose anytime soon. Thanks to you I came closer to Luna, the girl that I fell deeply in love with. The girl that is now ignoring me because of my idiotic actions,” he broke your eye contact and lowered his head.

This time, it was you who felt sorry. You knew that Himchan told you the truth because even his relationship was going through a hard time so lying to you would only make it worse. You finally comprehended that he didn’t do much because he dropped out of the plan long time ago.

After being silent for a good while, you took a step closer to Himchan and put your hand on his shoulder.

“Give me a couple of days just to process all the information I just got. I can’t say that everything is okay now that you have been honest, but it will make things easier for me to understand,” you spoke in a calm voice, “Go home now and call Luna. That girl deserves an explanation too.”

He nodded a couple of times before surprising you with a tight hug. Within a second you could feel Zelo join the hug too and that made you smile weakly for the first time in a while.

“Noona, you’re really important to us,” he spoke into your hair.

You didn’t answer to that one but you knew that it didn’t matter to Zelo either as long as you were there with him.

***

“I heard your son won the whole competition,” you heard your mother say to Mrs. Kwon.

“Yes, he did. But he is not really happy about it,” she admitted.

“How come?” your father’s curious voice was heard too.

After the dinner, where you avoided conversing as much as possible, you ran to your room and sat on your bed while reading a random magazine you found in the hall. You didn’t want to join your parents and Yongguk’s mother in the living room because you knew that they would start asking you stuff about the trip and that is definitely the last thing you wanted to talk about. Even though you avoided talking about Yongguk, you still couldn’t get away from that topic that was being discusses in the living room at the very moment.

“He was upset that he had to stay longer there than his friends,” Mrs. Kwon clarified.

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, and..” it was silent for a moment before Mrs. Kwon’s clear voice turned into a whisper that you couldn’t hear good enough to understand what she was saying.

Curiosity took the best out of you and before you even knew it, you were standing by the slightly opened door to your room and eavesdropping to what was said about Yongguk that was so secret she had to whisper.

“…with his father,” the voice became clearer once you stood still by the door, “I even booked the first best flight for him in the morning.”

Your eyes grew bigger and you made an exaggerated version of a shocked expression. Did you just hear what you heard? Was she still talking about Yongguk? Like in; Yongguk coming back in the morning?

Suddenly, you felt your broken heart beat in a wild mode. You weren’t ready to see the guy who hurt you in every possible way. You weren’t ready to deal with your emotions again once you see him. You weren’t even over the fact that the guy you were so in love with only you used you for satisfaction.

With a mixed emotion of anger and sadness, your tired eyes filled with teardrops again but this time you covered them with your hands and held like that for a minute to stop them from coming out any further.

“No one knows about it,” she continued, interrupting your thoughts, “He actually called me before I came over here so I’m still shaken as well.”

“But isn’t that going to destroy everything he battled hard for?” your father asked with a concerned voice.

“Well, of course but he said that he didn’t care because he had more important things to take care of,” she repeated Yongguk’s words.

You shook your head while still having your hands over your face and ran back to your bed. You have had enough of everything and couldn’t handle your emotions once again. With Yongguk around you, everything will only be more difficult for you and to be honest, you didn’t have strength anymore.  Slowly but surely you were reaching the bottom.

He can’t do this to me.
 

***

The next morning was no different from the previous ones where the weather was rainy and you waking up to a headache. You woke up early because your thoughts didn’t want to leave you alone, especially after yesterday night after you heard Mrs. Kwon’s conversion with your parents.

While still lying in your bed, you covered your eyes with your right arm and tiredly sighed a couple of times. Everything that was happening to you was so unlike you that it made you angry. You didn’t want to end up where you were but thanks to the emotions that you couldn’t handle, you had to face the harsh reality.

Like a dead body, you stood from your bed and moved to the kitchen to make yourself a nice cup of tea with milk in hope to reduce your horrible headache. While drinking the sweet liquid that you were holding with both of your hands, you spotted a note on the dining table. Slowly, you took a few steps closer to the table till you could read the text. It was a note from your parents which read;

“We will be back home a little later than usual, but we have some exciting news to share!”

You grimaced at the note before grabbing it and throwing it in the trash can.
“What news can possibly be so exciting?” you asked yourself ironically while rolling your eyes.

You not being curious about the ‘exciting news’ was another sign that you lost hope for everything and didn’t care about anything anymore. With lazy steps you walked back to your room to let your mind torture you a bit more.

***

“Finally!” JR shouted as you entered his skate shop.

A feeling mixed with disgust and irritation washed all over your body the moment your feet stepped into the hall. Knowing that this shop is Gyuri’s just as much as it was JR’s, made you feel like an idiot. Visiting a home that belongs to that one person who caused the mess you were in, really lowered your self-esteem even more.

Unfortunately, she was the sister of one of your best friends so you couldn’t erase her completely from your life as much as you wanted. JR called you on your home phone an hour ago and begged you to come over. You haven’t seen him and JB since they came back from the U.S and turned down on them every time they suggested on hanging out so when JR called you again even though you declined their offer before, you felt guilty for how you treated them.

“It’s fine if you like to stand there awkwardly but it’s nice here too,” JR interrupted your train of thoughts while motioning with his hand around the area behind his counter.

You glanced over at him and saw his adorable eye smile looking right at you. You smiled weakly back while thinking about how much you missed that guy on the other side of the shop. He was one of the few friends that could turn you into better mood no matter when or where. He was one of the few friends that stayed out of trouble and just enjoyed life as it was. He was that one friend who shared the same blood as the person you hated the most.

JR slowly walked up to you after seeing the look on your face and grabbed your shoulders firmly.

“This is why I called you,” he spoke softly.

You blinked a couple of times in confusion, “What?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“About?”

At that, he tilted his head to the side and looked down at you with a tired look, “Really now?”

Deep inside you knew that he wanted to talk about his sister and her actions but you weren’t really interested in that. You rolled your eyes at JR’s reply and walked past him to take a seat behind the counter.

“Where is JB?” you asked instead, changing the subject.

“Not here,” he raised his eyebrows and took a seat beside you.

“Then were?”

“Believe it or not, he is on a date with Sulli. Their first date actually,” he answered impressed.

“Nice,” you nodded, “At least someone is doing well,” you couldn’t help but drop that one ironic comment.

JR sighed and his face expression turned into one that wasn’t often seen on him. He had the same look that Himchan had while explaining everything to you.

“Jin Ah…”

“Just don’t,” you waved with your hand.

“No really, it feels like everything is my fault. I don’t know why but it just feels that way.”

“JR, you are the last person to feel that way. It’s your sister, not you so just drop it,” you looked at him with serious eyes.

“Still! I can’t help but feel horrible after what she did to you,” he rubbed his temples, “I tried to talk to her after you left but she ignored me for the rest of the day and instead clung onto Yongguk all the freaking time.”

It hurt. It still hurt to know that the two of them spend time together after what they did to you. It hurt to know that they were having a nice time while you suffered here with your emotions and well-being.

You looked away from JR because you didn’t want him to notice what you felt at the moment and instead played with your hand and fingers to avoid any eye contact.

“Saying sorry for her wouldn’t make any difference if she doesn’t feel that way but I’m still doing it,” he continued, “I just wanted to apologize for my sister’s actions, Jin Ah. Everyone knows that she is a girl whose mouth is faster than her brain.”

“JR, please…”

“No seriously, you can’t imagine how much I hated her after you left. She destroyed a relationship out of egoism. I’m so ashamed of being related to a person that doesn’t care about anyone but herself. I’m ashamed of being related to a person who is practically a witch.”

You widened your eyes at his harsh words. Everything he said was true but the fact that it came from his mouth was shocking.

“Well… done is done so we can’t do anything about it. You surely can’t kill her nor can you take back the time,” you shrugged.

JR nodded slowly before looking at you, “Don’t you dare forgive her ever!”

You looked at him horrified, “Not even in my wildest dreams.”

JR did a thumbs up while having a serious face expression which you couldn’t take seriously. You slapped his hand away and rolled your eyes at him.
It warmed your heart to know that he, who has nothing to do with the situation you were in, cared so much about how you felt and tried to apologize in the name of someone else.

Thinking about it, he only blamed Gyuri for everything but that is only because she is his sister and he didn’t want her to do whatever she was doing. What he didn’t realize was that it was Yongguk’s fault as much as it was Gyuri’s. If Yongguk didn’t play that little game of his, Gyuri wouldn’t have anything to reveal. If Yongguk was real from the whole beginning than none of that would have happened. But unfortunately, that is not the case.

Before your thoughts could take over you once again, you shook your head out of it and turned towards JR.

“Well, I hope she burns in hell together with Yongguk,” you said out of nowhere, “Now can we please stop talking about them before I break down again and instead just hang out like we always do?”

JR blinked a couple of times before smiling at you, “Sure. I actually wanted to show you a couple of new designs that we just got,” he said and one of the computers near you.

“Really? Let me see,” you hovered over the glass counter to get a better view of the screen.

For now, you only wanted to hang out with your friend and keep your thoughts away from the guy who you didn’t know what to think about anymore.

***

“Thank you for the ride Mr. Park,” you bowed once before opening the car’s door and going out.

“No problem, my dear,” he winked and started the engine as JR waved to you.

After a nice time at JR’s, you had to go home and see what news your parents had for you. Since Mr. Park and JR were on their way to pick up some stuff from a stock on the other side of Seoul, they could drive you home on the way.

Just as their car drove off, you glanced at Yongguk’s house before you caught sight of something you regret seeing. Right there, at his front door, Yongguk was standing in a red hoodie shirt and black shorts. He stood there lifelessly with his hands in his pockets and his eyes looking right at you. You froze in your spot and the moment that you have fared about the whole time was unluckily here. All this time you thought that once you see him again you would just shout at him and tell him that you hate him but now everything was different.

The two of you were standing on each side of the street while looking at each other with mixed emotions. Watching him like that, with his hoodie over his head and his sad eyes looking right through your soul, made you lose your mind slowly. You missed seeing his beautiful face at the same time as you couldn’t look at it anymore.

Your heart and mind battled once again about the things they wanted you to do and once again you decided to listen to your mind and just walk away from there. Just as you turned around to walk into your house, you heard Yongguk call after you.

You stopped in your track and closed your eyes because of the feelings that were taking over your mind. Hearing him call your name brought back good as bad memories. As much as you wanted to turn around and run up to him to hug him, you couldn’t do that because everything he does is only a game for him and you couldn’t risk on falling for the same trap one more time.

“Jin Ah, please!”

You shook your head slowly and entered your house before quickly closing the front door and locking it without hesitation. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in and leaned on the wall next to the door.

“Gin, is that you?” your mother called from the kitchen.

You didn’t answer her and just stood there in silence and closed eyes because you were not over the fact that Yongguk was right there on the other side of the road.

“Yes, it’s her,” your father’s voice brought you back to reality as you opened your eyes to see him stick his head through the kitchen door, “Come in.”

With an expressionless look on your face you walked after your father and just as you entered the room you saw the dining table being covered by a bunch of papers and documents. You furrowed your brows at the mess and eyed your parents for an explanation.

“Since when do you bring your office home?”

“Don’t be silly, darling,” your father laughed as he took a seat on the chair in the middle and searched for a paper.

“Don’t you get it?” your mother walked up to you and placed her hands on your shoulder from beside.

“Get what?”

“Aha!” your father found the piece of paper that he searched for as he lifted it up for you to take a better look, “We are moving back to the States!”