A/N: What happened to me? Why did I let you wait three whole weeks for this chapter?
Well... LIFE HAPPENED! I'm so sorry my beloved readers. I was so busy these couple of weeks. Going to college and having a part time job is really REALLY tiring. I wrote this chapter two weeks ago and only had like... three scenes left to write but I seriously NEVER had time to finish it. 

I ask you for forgiveness with not one... but two chapters right here and now!
You know that I love you all ♥ And I missed you and this story so much ;( 

(btw the second half of this chapter and the whole next chapter is from Yongguk's view! Time to see what he really thinks.)

***

Just when you thought that life couldn’t get more difficult, new things happened and added more stress to your already bad state. Moving to Korea has changed you in many ways and with that even your opinions about things. One year ago, if your parents told you that you would be moving, you wouldn’t mind at all. Moving around from state to state and from country to country has always been a part of your life so you didn’t care about it. But that changed once you sat your feet in Seoul and met some of the most wonderful people.

The reason to why you were about to move back to the States was of course your father’s job offers. Apparently his former employer contacted him and offered a better position at his company. A successful career has always been a big part of your father’s life so you understood why he agreed on moving back. And just as usually, the whole family would move together.

“He is writing the contract at the moment so once he send it to me and I sign it, we can pack our stuff and fly back,” your father spoke excitedly, “Considering the fact that he has to write it and then send it by mail, I think it will take about seven to eight days.”  

After your parents announced the news, you just nodded a couple of times with a blank look on your face and went immediately into your room. This piece of information that you received was the last thing you needed in your life. In seven days your life would make another one of those three hundred and sixty degrees turns that you were so familiar with.  

Being familiar with those changes shouldn’t be a problem for you but this time it was different. This time you feel different. You have a reason to stay here and not transfer to another country. Something you didn’t have your entire life. This time you have your friends that you respect very much and couldn’t imagine a life without. Thanks to them, you have learned to be a nicer person and let people into your life. Thanks to them, you have had a chance to see what real friendship is like and you would be lying if you said that you didn’t like it. Because you do.

While sitting by your desk and looking out through the window you couldn’t help but imagine their faces if you told them about the news. They would be heartbroken just like you are right now and you didn’t want to do that to them. Your friends deserved the best and your information was far from it.

You buried your head into your hands that rested on the desk and sighed deeply. Everything in your life was just ed up to that point that it wasn’t worth fighting anymore. You didn’t have any strength left so you decided to just go with the flow. As much as you disliked the fact that you would be in another country in a week, you couldn’t stop your father from succeeding with something he has worked really hard for. Even if it meant that you would be suffering a bit in the beginning.

“But I’m fine with it,” you whispered when your train of thought became so deep that you didn’t realize you spoke to yourself, “It can’t get any worse than it is now.”

It was dark in your room when the sun disappeared long time ago and you didn’t bother on turning on the lights. The only light in your room came from outside. The streetlights together with the beautiful and bright moonlight were the only light sources that shone right through your window and on your face where small drops of tears could been visible.

You lifted your head and threw a glance towards Yongguk’s house. In the end, he didn’t ran after you when you turned your back on him and entered your house. When he called after you, you could clearly hear that his voice wasn’t strong and determined as usually, it was rather insecure and somewhat frightened.

You closed your eyes, which pushed even more tears out, and shook your head to yourself.

“Stop lying to yourself, Jin Ah. He is Bang Yongguk. The guy who is never sorry,” you convinced yourself, “It was all a game and he won.”

Leaving Seoul means leaving everything behind. Even the guy you fell so hard for. The guy who made you feel special for a couple of days before destroying everything in no time. You know that he is just a human being and that humans makes mistakes but even after letting him explain everything, you were unsure if you could trust him anymore.

Slowly, your hopes were being pushed away by reality. You were about to move away from here so even if everything worked out in the end between you two, a long distance relationship wasn’t something for you. So just like that, you decided not to tell anyone about you moving again.

“It’s for the best,” you let out in a sigh and stood from your chair to head towards the bathroom and take a shower, “Hopefully, everything will be over soon so I can start over.”

As much as it hurt you to know that you are about to close another chapter in your life, you accepted the fact quickly. You believe in destiny and destiny decided to take this turn in your life.

***

Wanting to spend as much time with your friends as possible before you’re gone, you called your friends out to meet you at one of your favorite cafés. They were taken back by your sudden invitation considering the fact that you refused to go out two days ago, but you ignored their surprised faces and acted like everything was as it should be. You even decided to forget Yongguk for a moment and just enjoy your friends’ company.

You told Luna to call Himchan and the others even though you still felt a bit awkward around Himchan, but in just a couple of days you wouldn’t see him anymore so you didn’t care.

“How many of you have sent in your college applications?” JR asked curiously as he spun his empty glass on the table.

“I did before we left for the skating festival,” JB informed and sipped from his cup.

“Me too,” Youngjae nodded.

“Well, I didn’t,” Amber shrugged.

Luna, who sat across from her, widened her eyes, “Why not?”.

“Didn’t feel like it. I need a gap year just to think about what I really want to do,” she explained and you nodded your head to it because she did have a point.

“What about you, Jin?” JR nodded towards you.

Startled from the direct question, your eyes grew bigger and you tried to find the right words and not give out anything you shouldn’t.

“Ehmm… I- I don’t know actually,” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“So you didn’t apply yet?” Himchan tilted his head to the side and you just shook your head as an answer.

“Aish, you still have two weeks to do that,” Daehyun waved with his hands, mentioning for everyone that it was okay.

As everyone discussed the topic college life and how more serious it was than high school life, you couldn’t help but notice Zelo giving Himchan confused looks. He was sitting beside Himchan and leaned a bit before whispering something. You being settled right in front of them, could still hear what they were talking about.

“So Yongguk hyung didn’t send in his application in the end?” Zelo whispered with a confused face expression which Himchan only shook his head to, “But… but why not?”

Once again, Himchan didn’t say a word and let his actions talk instead. He shrugged slightly before glancing over at you briefly and then turning his attention back to the rest of the gang.

Even though he only looked at you for a second or two, you could still sense a special feeling from that look. His eyes were telling you something that you couldn’t really figure out.

“I’m glad to see everyone gathered like this again,” Jongup smiled widely while scanning through the group of friends who just had a nice time and chatted away.

“Yeah, I missed this,” Zelo nodded in agreement.

“Guys it was only a week or so last time we had dinner together,” Youngjae arched one eyebrow at the younger two.

“Still!” Zelo defeated and crossed his arms.

You agreed with Zelo and Jongup too. Even though it was only a week ago, it was still the longest week in your life. People say that if someone has fun, time flies by fast but of course the same went for the opposite too. If someone is having a hard time, time goes by really slowly, making everything even worse.

All of you were gathered and everyone knew that one person was missing. One person that you didn’t invite but usually belongs to your group. That one person just returned back from the State where he left everything behind…

In that moment, a thought that didn’t cross your mind until now, hit you right away. Yongguk who is this year’s winner had a contract to follow in the US and that would have taken at least a couple of weeks more, but he was now here instead.

You furrowed your eyebrows in secret and rubbed the back of your neck in confusion. You couldn’t believe that Yongguk was so careless to throw away something like that just because of… you.

“Me?” you whispered to yourself before immediately shaking your head at that ridiculous statement.

“What did you say, Jin Ah?” Amber watched you with curious eyes.

Surprised at her question that came out of the blue, you just laughed nervously and told her that it was nothing before taking your warm chocolate and slowly taking a few sips.

 

***

To keep something hidden for a while was much harder than you thought, especially after knowing that your friends would be furious at you if they found out that you were hiding such a huge thing from them. But everything was for their own good so you did it anyway.

Another day went by with you ignoring Yongguk’s calls. You stayed at home the whole day and slowly started packing some of the things in your room.

You weren’t feeling any better and without realizing it, you already started missing Yongguk. You hated yourself for that but you couldn’t control your feelings. You missed his hugs and kisses and even his stupid smirk that showed on his fully lips whenever he teased you. Even his husky and dark voice was something that you would love to keep to yourself and just listen to it over and over again. But that was just your dreams that are too good to be true.

Reality was much harder.

After basically torturing yourself with all kinds of thoughts the whole day, you were about to lose your mind. It felt like you buried everything inside of you and slowly but surely your mind and heart were basically full. There wasn’t any room for more and you needed to let it out.

Your mother came home a couple of hours ago and your father stayed overtime at work to fix some last things. Another one of your last days here were about to end and you just sighed in sadness. You really didn’t want to leave soon but you couldn’t do anything about it.

To take your mind off everything you decided to head to the skatepark or your hideout to be more specific. If you were going to let out your thoughts then it should be somewhere where no one sees you.

Not wanting to waste another minute, you placed a box that you were holding to the side and walked out of your room.

“Mom, I will just go out for a walk and please… just please don’t ask any questions,” you said as you walked past the kitchen where your mother was sitting with some papers.

Even though you tried really hard to hide your mood and state, your parents still noticed it. But you knew that they thought it was because of the move so you had one less problem to care about.

“Okay,” your mother simply answered, “But please don’t be late.”

“I won’t,” and with that, you grabbed your skateboard and walked out of the house.

***

Yongguk’s P.O.V

I’m an idiot. I’m a stupid ing idiot who doesn’t deserve to be alive anymore. Hurting the one and only person I cared most about was not in my plan at all. I feel like and I hate myself for everything I have ever done to Jin Ah.

Yes, I wanted her body so badly in the beginning so I started this stupid game of mine. But even that game never included me falling madly in love with that girl. She was everything I ever wanted. No… she was everything I ever needed. A person who thinks like me. A person who sees the world with the same eyes as mine. A person who only minds about her own business unless someone is begging for attention.

She was my other half.

My other half that I lost within fifteen minutes.

The moment Gyuri blurred out everything in front of everyone I didn’t know who to hate more. Her or myself. I should have known better than think that she would shut up about everything.

The second Jin Ah left me in that restaurant, I felt my heart breaking into pieces. I tried to call her but she didn’t pick up, so leaving lots of messages was the only thing I could do while being in another continent.

When I came back to Korea, I wanted so desperately to run up to her house, ring on that doorbell and the second she open the door, I would hug her and never let her go anymore. But I knew that I couldn’t. After everything I have done, I should be happy that she is staying silent. Yet I hate that too.

It’s killing me inside to know that she ignores me and doesn’t show anger towards me. I want her to yell at me. I want her to hit me as hard as she could. I was ready to let her do whatever she wanted as long as it makes her feel better. But I couldn’t even do that because she was still ignoring me.

I didn’t want to push myself towards her cause I know that would only scare her away even more. I know that she needs some time to think but I couldn’t wait too long either. I couldn’t risk on losing her for good because that would really be the end of me.

For now I only tried to call her and text her but she kept on ignoring me. I stayed home all day and prayed to God that she would at least text me once to tell me to leave her alone, but not even that happened.

I was sitting by the window in the kitchen with my phone in my hands. It was dark in the room because I watched Jin Ah’s house and didn’t want her to see me look in her direction. My mother was in the living room, watching some drama series so I was alone and could do whatever I wanted without her questioning it.

I sighed deeply once as I lifted up my phone to dial Jin Ah’s number again. I brought the device to my ear and turned to look through the window when suddenly I caught sight of something interesting. The light in her room was off and it was dark in front of her house but there was a small source of light that outside once I called her phone.

With squinted eyes, I watched how the light moved away from her house before my mind started working. It was obvious that she was outside her house, on her way somewhere and as usually, she ignored my calls. Without any second thoughts I ended the call, grabbed my hoodie from the kitchen table and slowly headed after Jin Ah.

Not wanting to scare her or anything, I silently walked after her in hope not to get busted. This particular moment gave me a deja-vu feeling, thinking about the first time I followed her to the skating park. It was our first time hanging out alone and I can say that, that was the day I started seeing her with other eyes. My heart ached as I closed my eyes once and sighed before turning my attention back to the girl who walked in front of me.

A couple of minutes later, we entered the skatepark and I noticed that she didn’t plan on skating when she suddenly turned to her right and headed somewhere else. With furrowed eyebrows and a confused look on my face, I followed her through the dark skatepark that lit up from the street lights and in between some buildings that were located right next to the park.

She walked up to a very old and abandoned house and without looking around, she entered it right away. Her actions started slowly to creep me out and I felt an uneasy feeling take over my body.

“This doesn’t look good,” I whispered to myself and soundlessly took a few steps into the house.

Since the house was old and abandoned, there were no real windows and doors. It was dark inside and I could only hear Jin Ah’s footsteps that were on their way up to the second floor. Everything was very suspicious so I stopped caring if she could hear me and quickly followed right after her.

Upstairs, on the second floor, it was a bit brighter since the streetlights were closer to the windows. With slight panic that took over my mind, I looked around in search for my girl and luckily I spotted her sitting on the floor right next to the balcony. She brought her legs close to her body and hugged them tightly as she rested her head on her knees. I could hear her sigh deeply a couple of times and my heart only ached more and more because I know I’m the reason why she is being like this.

Slowly but surely, I took a few steps forward but stopped in my track as she slightly turned her head to the side and looked over her shoulder. My heartbeat, just like my breathing, stopped the seconds she turned around.

“Leave me alone,” she said in a low yet determined tone, “Fighting with you is the last thing I need right now.”

I stayed quiet a few more seconds before walking up to her and stand right next to the balcony.  

“I’m not here to fight with you, Jin Ah…”

“Whatever the reason is… I don’t care,” she stated harshly and lowered her head to hide her face from me.

She must have been crying while walking.

“I came here to…”

“I don’t care, Yongguk. Just get out of here!”

As expected, she isn’t cooperating as I wished she would. No matter whose fault everything was, we still had to at least talk about it. And I’m not giving up so easily. Going down on my knees, I watched her with hurt eyes. Slowly I reached my hand out and rested it on one of her knees.

She didn’t look up to look at me and just jerked my hand away.

“For the last time, get out of here.”

“No,” I answered bitterly, “I’m tired of you pushing me away all the time. We need to talk.”

Slowly she looked up and that’s when I saw her teary eyes.

“And I’m tired of this whole situation. I already said that I’m not interested in anything that you have to say,” she raised her voice a little bit as she stood from the floor, “Now if you excuse me, it looks like you won’t leave me alone. Might as well go home right away.”

With that, she quickly headed towards the door and right then in that moment I could feel my mind exploding in both anger and sadness. I already let her walk away once. That isn’t going to happen again.

I ran hurriedly up to her and grabbed her hand to jerk her backwards. She let out a scream and looked at me with irritated eyes but I couldn’t care less. I took hold of her shoulders and pushed her towards one of the walls close to us. She tried to pull away from my grip but I held her tightly.

“Not going to let you go this time,” I whispered loud enough for her to hear me.

She stopped fighting against me and stood still the moment my words reached her ears. She looked up with angry yet confused and watery eyes and for the first time in a very long time, our gazes connected. I missed having her attention so much that I just wanted to pull her towards me and hold her like that forever. But I couldn’t. I had to clear some things up before I could do such a thing.

“I need you to listen to me this time,” I spoke after a moment, “Just freaking listen to me or I will go crazy because this is killing me.”