“Yah! Could you please stop eating? How could you still eat in this situation?” you heard Eunji hissing. “That’s for ________. She’s been sleeping for 48 hours now.” Somewhere near you was a machine that reads your heart rate. Your eyes remained closed.

“But I’m hungry,” Eunhyuk said. Hearing his voice, you suddenly felt alert. Slowly, you opened your eyes and found yourself in a white room. Tears welled up in your eyes.

Donghae.

Why you didn’t die? Why you have to be saved from the near-death experience? Why you have to face the world where the reason of your living is now dead? Why you have to suffer like this?

You tried to sit but it wasn’t easy for you. Eunji and Eunhyuk, though surprised that you were awake, helped you to sit properly on the hospital bed. Just as you sat down, Eunhyuk went to the side table to get a banana from the basket of fruits. He peeled it off and started to chomp it. You watched him with tearful eyes and started to sob.

“Yah,” Eunji said, as she was the closest to you, “don’t cry. Everything will be fine.”

“I’m sorry, _________-ah,” Eunhyuk said, panicky. He wasn’t able to finish eating his banana. He placed it in the table and took another banana and gave it to you.

“I know it hurts,” Eunji said but glaring at Eunhyuk. “It will heal.”

You sobbed. “No, it won’t. And will never.”

“Of course, it will,” she said. “It’s just a wound. Yes, it’s deep but the doctor said it will heal but it will take time. He even recommended an ointment so that it will not leave a scar.”

“No!” you shouted. “You don’t understand! He’s gone! And it will not heal!” you wailed as you point to your heart.

Eunji made a confused but sad look. “_________-ah,” she held out a hand to put it on your back but even before it landed on you, you stood up from bed and went to the door.

“Hey! _________-ah! You’re still weak! Come back here!” Eunhyuk called.

But you didn’t stop from walking. Nurses from the hall started to stare at you. You ignored them and kept walking.

“Yah! Where are you going?” Heechul asked as he emerged from the elevator.

“Where is he?” you asked, pl