“I love you”

 

My heart was racing and the butterflies were going crazy. I bought my ticket back for her birthday weekend before I even left New York. We never miss spending our birthday together and I didn’t want to miss hers even if we were fighting at the time.

 

“I love you too Wifey, but you knew that already.” I replied, I didn’t want to assume anything even though she’s turning me into an emotional wreck right not.

 

“No...Rosie. I love you. I really really really love you. I love you more than a friend. I’m in love with you.” She confessed. Dear Lord if I’m dreaming right now please don’t wake me up.

 

“I..I-..”

 

“Look you don’t have to answer me or anything. I just need you to know that I’m so in love with you. I don’t know when but I guess I was the only one that didn’t notice my feelings for you, well until you left that is.” She explained, burying herself further into my embrace.

 

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder huh. What a cliche.” I chuckled and she pinched me playfully on my side.

 

“I’m being serious here.” She pouted and it took every ounce of willpower to not kiss her pouty little lips.

 

Don’t get me wrong, Jennie’s confession is sending me...but if her having feelings for me manifested because I’m no longer constantly by her side then it may not be genuine. I don’t want to doubt her, but I don’t want to just jump into things either. There’s too much at stake. I mean what if I’m right and whatever it is that Jennie is feeling right now isn’t because she loves me like I love her...but because I’m not physically here with her and she just misses me. Then we become all awkward with each other and just drift apart. The weeks leading up to me going to Seoul were already hard enough, what more if it becomes a normal thing?

 

“I know.” I replied.

 

“Well?” She pressed

 

“I thought I didn’t have to answer?” I teased.

 

“ROSIE.” She whined, kicking her legs playfully.

 

“Look Jen…” I paused, contemplating again if I should be honest or not. I mean I have been loving this girl for so long and now here she is telling me she’s also in-love with me. But my fears are just too strong. I don’t want to lose her, even if I have to keep killing my heart in the process. I sighed, not knowing how to continue.

 

“No no, never mind. I don’t want to hear. Just know that I love you okay?” She quickly cupped my mouth before I can get another word out.

 

I just nodded and soon we both fell asleep.

 

The following morning, I woke up first. Jennie’s arms were still tightly wrapped around my waist and our legs were somehow tangled within each other. I smiled at the sight. Waking up next to her...it will never get old.

 

“Good morning.” I said barely above a whisper. Unwrapping her arms from me, I slowly got up. After taking a shower, I went out and decided to cook the girls some breakfast.

 

I some quiet music and began my day.

 

I just finished making the kimchi fried rice when my phone rang, I looked at the caller ID and literally face palmed myself.

 

“Hel…”

 

“YAH PARK CHAEYOUNG! I THOUGHT YOU DIED! HOW DARE YOU NOT CALL ME LIKE YOU PROMISE!” Hyeri was yelling at me over the phone that I had to physically pull my phone away from my ear.

 

“Ah Unnie, sorry sorry. It was hectic and I fell asleep because I was so tired.” I explained.

 

“Sorry my . You made us all worry over here, we thought you got lost again or something.”

 

“This is different. Plus that was one time! And I’m not familiar with Seoul and you guys just handed me money and a shopping list.” I explained with a pout and Hyeri started chuckling.

 

“Okay okay, I got it. I’m glad you made it safely. I’ll text you later, bye babe.”

 

“Hmmm bye unnie.” I hung up the phone with a slight chuckle.

 

When I turned around I found Lisa and Jisoo giving me a teasing smirk.

 

“Good morning.” I smiled, but their smiles got wider and I was getting weirded out, “Okay, what's with the smiles?” I asked.

 

“Oh nothing Pasta just a good morning I guess.” Jisoo replied, while grabbing some plates for us.

 

“No there’s something. Tell me.” I pressed.

 

“Trust us Chipmunk, we’re just having a good morning is all.” Lisa replied.

“You guys are being super weird you know that right. Like weirder than usual.”

 

“Hmm are we? Anyways, anything good happened last night?”

 

“I mean it was Je…:”

 

“AHA I was right babe.” Lisa interrupted me.

 

“Nu-uh Lali that doesn’t count she didn’t even finish. Go ahead Chaeyoung continue your statement.” Jisoo said all serious and I chuckled.

 

These two idiots I swear they are perfect for each other.

 

“Alrighty tell me what you guys bet on.” I folded my arms across my chest.

 

“So after you and Jendeuk left yesterday Lisa was like they are gonna go home and do it. And I was like nu-uh they aren’t even together. Then Lisa was like wanna make a bet and I was like okay loser has to be…”

 

“Okay okay stop! I don’t need to know what the punishment is. And for the record we just slept nothing happened.”

 

“HA! I win Lali.” Jisoo smirked pumping her fist in the air.

 

“Tch, but Chaeng did Jen say anything to you last night?” Lisa switched to a serious mood.

 

“Say what?” I asked.

 

“Before that you and your roommate are close yeah?” Jisoo interrupted and I nodded.

 

“Yeah, you guys know how she was cold to me at first, but we got pretty close recently and she’s pretty cool. I like her, she’s a nice friend.” I smiled.

 

“Friend right? Just friends. Nothing more?”

 

“Yeah..Why does everyone ask that?” I chuckled.

 

“Well I mean... she calls you babe, wears your clothes, and is quite clingy.” Jisoo argued the same thing Jennie did.

 

“Jichu did Jen ask you to ask me this again? Cause she literally used the same logic you just did last night.” I chuckled and smiled at the memory of her cute little confession.

 

“No she didn’t...I was just curious. Look Pasta, Jen realized somethi…”

 

“She told me she’s in-love with me last night.” I interrupted and Jisoo and Lisa’s eyes widened in shock.

 

“WHAT?! SHE TOLD YOU?!” They yelled, but I shushed them since Jennie is still fast asleep.

 

“Yes...she did.” I replied softly, unable to contain the wide smile from my face.

 

“So are you two official now?” Lisa asked, but I shook my head no.

 

“I didn’t say anything, rather she wouldn’t let me say anything.”

 

“What?! Why not? I mean she just confessed Chaeyoung this is what you’ve been waiting for, why aren’t you jumping in joy?” Jisoo asked.

 

“I am happy so happy. This is what I’ve been waiting for...but she just got out of that relationship with Nayeon and I…”

 

“Okay pause, first off you are not a rebound.” Lisa interrupted me.

 

“I wasn’t going to say that, but thanks now I’m gonna start worrying about that too.” I pouted.

 

“What are you so worried about?” Jisoo asked, subtly giving Lisa a look to not interrupt me.

 

“Well I’ve been gone and I’m not physically here with her so I’m worried that it’s just because she misses me being around her. Like she’s mistaking me not constantly being around as love, but really it isn’t. If that’s the case then what happens when I comeback? Also, I feel like it’s too early to jump into things as well. I wasn’t really thinking about this last night...but Lisa just made me think..She and Nayeon just broke up, what if I’m just her rebound. I don’t know guys… I’ve been wanting this for so long and now that it’s right in front of me...it just feels too good to be true.” I sighed, leaning my head on the table.

 

“Well when you put it that way.. Ow babe..” Lisa rubbed her shoulder because Jisoo suddenly pinched her.

 

“Listen Chaeyoung, these worries you have I’m not going to say they aren’t true because your right we didn’t see that possibility...and I know that it terrifies you to lose her because I felt the same way with this idiot right here.” Jisoo paused looking at Lisa with so much love in her eyes.

 

“Awww babe.” Lisa cooed, snuggling into Jisoo’s side who smiled before continuing, “But isn’t she worth it?”

 

“She is worth it.” I replied without hesitation.

 

“Then why are you holding back? Unless you lied just now and Hyeri isn..”

 

“We’re just friends. Nothing more.” I confidently replied.

 

“Okay, well then there really shouldn’t be any stopping you.” Jisoo smiled, “Now go wake up your soon to be girl so we can eat.”

 

Blushing and playfully hitting her shoulder, I turned and went for my room.

 

“Jen.” I softly, tapped her, taking a seat at the edge of the bed, “Wake up I made breakfast.”

 

“Hmm 5 more minutes.” She groggily replied, her arms making their way around my waist, holding onto me tightly.

 

“C’mon Wifey wake up before Lisa and Jisoo eat all the food.”

 

But Jennie’s soft breathing told me that she’s fallen asleep again.

 

“Sleep well.” I whispered, about to get up, but her arms tightened around me.

 

“Don’t go.” She whispered.

 

“I’ll just eat and comeback.”

 

“No, don’t leave me again...please.”

 

Jennie’s reply got me confused, I tilted my head a bit to get a better look at her face. Her eyes were closed and she’s breathing deeply. She’s having a dream.

 

“I never left you.” I replied, and she relaxed and I was able to get out of her hold.

 

Jisoo, Lisa, and I spent most of the morning talking about Seoul.

 

“Yeah and the professors there are nice, but you can tell that they’re strict.” I explained, my music classes there.

 

“How about the dorm? How’s it like living in a dorm?” Lisa asked.

 

“I mean it’s not that different from living with you guys. Well you know at first it was weird and awkward, but now that Hyeri unnie and I have gotten closer it’s more comfortable. Basically, it’s two students per dorm. The girl’s dorm has 4 floors and there is a curfew, but Hyeri unnie and her friends showed me the work around that.” I smirked.

 

“Oohhh who are you and what did you do to our goody two shoes Chipmunk Chaengie.” Lisa chuckled squishing my cheeks.

 

“Yeah well a 10PM curfew when your in a new city and wanting to explore everything you know? I even got a part time job playing at a cafe with Hyeri unnie’s help.” I chuckled.

 

Jisoo, Lisa, and I chatted for a bit longer, but I had to head out to meet up with my family for a quick brunch.

 

“Oh Chaeng!” Nayeon greeted me while my family and I were leaving the cafe.

 

“Nayeon-ah” I hugged her tightly.

 

“We’ll come get you on Sunday evening.” My mom smiled before leaving.

 

“Your alone?” Nayeon asked after we let go.

 

“Yeah, I just had brunch with my family. Why?”

 

“Nothing, it’s just weird that Jen didn’t tag along. We all figured she’d be glued to you all weekend.” Nayeon chuckled.

 

“Yeah well..” I trailed off nervously rubbing the back of my neck.

 

“Did you two fight?” Nayeon asked while motioning me to follow her as we took a walk to a nearby park.

 

“No it’s just...Jen told me she loves me.” I felt a little awkward telling Nayeon this, since she was Jennie’s ex and the breakup is still pretty fresh.

 

“Well that’s great!” Nayeon exclaimed, much to my surprise.

 

“Or not?” She questioned when I didn’t give her a response.

 

“I….” I didn’t know how to start, did Nayeon know this whole time?

 

“I think Jen’s been in-love with you for a very long time. Maybe even longer than you have.” Nayeon gave me a side-glance and smiled, her attention on the kids playing in the park.

 

“Wha..”

 

“Everyone saw it. I did too.. I just chose to ignore it, but nevertheless it was obvious. Well to us that is, not so much to you two.” Nayeon chuckled before she continued, “Ever since we became friends you two have just had this connection, it’s hard to explain but it was there. Honestly, it surprised me to know that you two weren’t a couple because not even real couples act the way you two do with each other. Thinking about it, things started to change when Jen and I got together. Jen would act the same way, but you...You kind of set her at arm’s length. You were always nearby but not close. Jen never noticed because your so good at keeping the pretense, but Chaeyoung she’s right in front of you now. She’s putting her heart out there for you, only you. So please take it. Don’t make my breakup with her in vain.” She chuckled.

 

“I want to...I really want to…”

 

“But you didn’t expect her to actually have feelings for you and now that you know she does it scares you to take that leap of fate because your thinking about what would happen if you two don’t work out and you turn into strangers. Right?” Nayeon literally took the words that I have been trying so hard to keep to myself right out.

 

“Aww Chaeyoung-ah…” Nayeon hugged me again, “Listen, I know it’s scary but why are you so set on the fact that you two won’t work out?”

 

“I don’t know, I just… I can lose everything but not Jennie...She’s the one thing that I cannot lose no matter what.”

 

“Even if you end up breaking your heart?”

 

“I’ve lived with a broken heart before.” I turned away from Nayeon, lifting my head up to gaze at the sky.

 

“How about Jennie? Are you okay with her living with a broken heart?” Nayeon asked, and I whipped my head in her direction.

 

“If you keep on trying to pretend that your feelings and her feelings don’t exist for the sake of your fears...you might just end up really losing her.” Nayeon patted my shoulder.

 

“Okay.” I smiled, my heart feeling lighter.

 

“Good, now let’s get you to your girl.” Nayeon beamed.

 

Entering the apartment I was met with a pouting Jennie on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her.

 

“Jen you okay?” I asked, she turned to me, rolled her eyes, and turned away.

 

Okay what did I do?!

 

“I’ll take that as a no?” I chuckled, plopping down next to her.

 

“So, what’s up?” I asked, but she refused to look at me.

 

“Jen?” I tapped her shoulder, but she just got up, went to her room and slammed the door.

 

“Well I definitely did something.” I whispered to myself, before going after the big baby.

 

“Jennie, can I come in?” I knocked, but with no response, I popped my head through the door.

 

I entered and sat on the edge of the bed, “Jennie what’s wrong?” I asked.

 

“C’mon Wifey talk to your Hubby.” I amped my cuteness level, but still nothing.

 

“Jennie c’mon, talk to me. I know your upset with me somehow but I don’t know what I did. Are you really going to give me the silent treatment in the short time I have here?” I sighed, running my hand through my hair in frustration.

 

I must have gotten through to her, because she peeked at me over her shoulder still with that pout on her face, I smiled at her. She looked so freaking adorable.

 

Chuckling, I widened my arms for her to snuggle into my hug.

 

“So? Are you going to tell me what I did?” I asked, patting her back comfortably, while she snuggled closer into my embrace.

 

“Just hold me okay?” She softly whispered, holding me tighter.

 

“Hmmmm.” I held her tighter and began to hum a random tune, while I played with her hair.

 

“Jen?” I called out to her after a while, but I didn’t get a response.

 

She probably fell asleep.

 

“You once asked me who broke my heart,” I began, taking a deep breath before continuing, “but I couldn’t answer you. You got so mad at me for keeping that from you…thinking back, I don’t think we ever re-visited that topic ...that's okay... it might have hurt you more to know back then. But now things are different. Now I can tell you who I allowed to hurt me in the past. You see, the person who broke my heart is also the same person that’s healing my heart. She’s the only person I will ever love in this lifetime, I know because I’ve tried...God did I try to move on. I just couldn’t. I caught major feelings for her and it’s like everyday I’m falling even deeper, even if we’re thousands of miles apart. I love her so damn much that my heart can’t love another. I guess what I’m trying to say is Je…”

 

“No stop...stop it Rosie...please I don’t...I..”Jennie interrupted me her eyes welling with tears.

 

“Jen..you..”

 

“Don’t say it...Please...I can’t...I...I can’t listen to you proclaim your love for someone that’s not me...so please..” Jennie begged while she cried, wordlessly I pulled her back in for a tight hug.

 

“I think you do want to hear it.” I whispered, but she shook her head no and tightened her grip on me. Her body was shaking from crying. I felt guilty for making her cry, but I didn’t know she was awake.

 

“Please.” I begged, and I felt Jennie loosen her arms from around me and she lifted her head up, her gaze meeting mine.

 

“You’re so dramatic you know, I thought you were asleep the entire time and I’m just laying it all out there.” I wiped her tear stained cheeks, “The girl who broke my heart...the same one that’s healing it..that girl who I’ve been in love with since high school, maybe even longer, is Jennie Kim. Jennie I’m in-love you. I’ve been in-love with you. And I’ll forever be in-love with you.” I smiled feeling a whole weight lift from my shoulders.

 

“I love you.” I reiterated while cupping her cheeks, but instead of a response or a smile she just started sobbing even more.

 

“Woah hey hey, why are you crying?” I asked. She just shook her head and threw her arms around me.

 

“Jen..hey what’s wrong?” I patted her back, she was sobbing so hard, “Please don’t cry. I hate it when you cry.” I whispered, trying to fight my own tears.

 

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry...I’m sorry.” She kept apologizing over and over again.

 

“Jennie Kim stop apologizing, you didn’t even do anything wrong.” I assured her, but she kept saying sorry and I couldn’t get her to stop with words.

 

“I’m sorry Rosie...I’m sorry that I hurt you...I’m sorry that I...that I didn’t realize it sooner..I’m sorry. I….”

 

So I used action, “Please stop apologizing.” I asked after I shut her up with a quick kiss. My cheeks were burning and I felt my heart race faster than an F1 race car, but it did the trick.

 

“It was my decision not to tell you. You didn’t know so there’s nothing to apologize for. I’ll do anything to keep you happy. So don’t feel bad or guilty or sad. What matters is that now you know.”

 

“Yeah now I know.” She whispered.

 

“Yeah now you know.” I copied and she smiled that gummy smile of hers.

 

“So...where does that lead us then?” She cheekily asked.

 

“Uhm well..I’m not sure.”

 

“Really?” She deadpanned.

 

“I mean where do you want us to be then?” I asked.

 

“I want us to be an us. I want to be with you Rosie. I want you to be my Hubby just mine.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay? That’s it?”

 

“What do you want me to say then?” I chuckled and she cutely pouted.

 

“Ask me you dumb dumb.”

 

“Ah….hmmm wait.” I smirked before getting up and running to my room to grab my guitar.

 

“What are you doing?” She asks with a huge smile on her face.

 

I smiled at her before I began strumming a song.

 

“Everything feels right since you came along /I'm thinking baby You, yeah, are bringing out a different kind of me /There's no safety net that's underneath, I'm free /Falling all in You.” I ended the song with a smile.

 

“Jennie Kim, my best friend, I have been falling all in you since the day we met. I love you so much that I was okay just being your best friend, I was okay with not being the person you held dear to your heart, I was okay listening to you proclaim your love for someone else. I was okay with you loving someone else. I was okay with it all even if I was dying inside, because you were happy. Your happiness means the world to me and I would do anything to keep that gummy smile on your face. I love you and I would really love it if you would be my girlfriend?” I finally asked.

 

“Rosie….I love you too. So much and Yes of course yes, I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

 

“FINALLY!!!” Lisa and Jisoo suddenly barged in the room. Jennie and I laughed at the two idiots who were doing a weird dance.

 

“How long have you two been eavesdropping?” Jennie asked with crossed arms.

 

“Since Pasta grabbed her guitar. We knew something was up.” Jisoo replied.

 

“Ah Chaengie finally after years of you literally pining for her, pretending you weren’t constantly dying on the inside, you finally got the girl!” Lisa squealed while squishing me in a tight hug.

 

“I know, Lisa and I watched you suffer for years. Finally Rosie finally.” Jisoo wiped a stray tear, and pulled me to her after Lisa let me go.

 

Later that evening after Jisoo and Lisa practically dragged us out to celebrate and tell everyone, Jennie and I were in my room cuddling.

 

“Jen.” I called softly and she hummed a response.

 

“Why were you upset with me today?” I asked, she never really answered and I’ve been dying to know what I could have possibly done to make her emo side come out.

 

“If I tell you, promise me that you won’t laugh.” She looked at me seriously.

 

“Okay.”

 

“I was upset because I woke up and you were gone. You didn’t even text me. We don’t have much time to be together like this since you’ll be gone after tomorrow...so I was upset that some of my Rosie time was taken away.” She pouted.

 

“Aww Wifey. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you where I was or bring you with me. I just went to eat with my family...ah I also ran into Nayeon. You should thank her you know.” I chuckled and Jennie looked at me with a confused face.

 

“Let’s just say that I probably would not have spilled my entire heart out earlier if she didn’t push me to do it.” I smiled.

 

The weekend flew by in a flash and now I’m here with my friends and family at JFK ready to fly back to Seoul to finish the rest of my study abroad program. I just finished saying goodbye to everyone, well almost everyone. The only other person left is clinging to me for dear life. I’m serious, her arms have been wrapped around me since this morning.

 

“Jen...I have to go.” I turned around, placing my arms around her waist.

 

“I know.” She replied, leaning her forehead on my chest.

 

“I’ll be back in a few months.” I assured her, while I wrapped her in a tight hug.

 

“Hmmm I’m just going to miss you lots.”

 

“I will too babe. But I’ll call, text, or facetime you everyday. The next 4 months will fly by.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“Hey, look at me.” I asked but she just kept her forehead glued onto my chest, “ Wifey, c’mon look at me hmm.” I used my finger to lift her chin up.

 

“I promise you that I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I wiped the stray tear that fell from her eyes. She nodded and finally loosen her arms from around my waist.

 

“I’ll see you later love.” I smiled, placing a chaste kiss on her pouty lips.

 

“I love you, remember that.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

“Can the two leads in whatever K-drama y’all filming finish this, cause Chaeng is gonna miss her flight at this rate.” Lisa pulled us out of her own little world.

 

“I have to go.” I hugged Jennie one last time.

 

“I’ll see you guys in the summer.” I smiled before I walked towards security.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

A/N: okay well here it is y'all! Do let me know what you think. See you guys again. 
 

also...thinking of adding another chapter or 2...not sure