“Rosie posie c’mon!”

 

“Aly? Lisa? Mom? Dad?”

 

“Rosie!”

 

“Where are you guys?”

 

“Rosie!”

 

I opened my eyes, looking around me, I was in an open field.

 

“Rosie!” I heard someone call my name, but I didn’t see anyone.

 

“Over here!”

 

“Where?” I called out, my voice echoing, but I didn’t see anyone.

 

“Behind you.”

 

When I turned around my eyes widened.

 

“Hi Rosie!”

 

“Chaeyoung..” I whisper and the brunette smiles at me.

 

“Look at you, all grown up.” She gestures at me, as if she’s that much older.

 

“Am I dead?” I ask, and she shakes her head no.

 

“No.”

 

“Then what is this? Where am I?”

 

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You’re the one that brought me here.”

 

“Me?” I point to myself, “I don’t even know where this is.” I gesture around us.

 

“Well then I guess we’re both stuck.” Chaeyoung smiles and I shake my head. How is she so calm right now?

 

“C’mon we gotta get back.” I say, walking towards a random direction.

 

“To where?” She asks.

 

“Home..I gotta get back to my family, to my friends.” I tell her, walking ahead, not even bothering to check if she’s following after me or not.

 

“And you think this is the right way?” She asks, suddenly appearing right next to me.

 

“I don’t know, but maybe we can find someone or something.”

 

Chaeyoung sighs at this, “You know it’s only me and you here.” She says as a matter-of-factly.

 

“How are you so sure?”

 

“Well first of all, I’m dead.” Her blunt statement catches me off guard, almost causing me to trip over.

 

“I..uh..right..” I turn back to look at her, “Yeah...I mean you are.”

 

“I am. Thank you for re-establishing that fact.” Chaeyoung chuckles, “Second, you are currently seeing and talking to me so, the chances of this just being a figment of your mind is quite high.” She lightly flicks my forehead with her finger.

 

“Are you always this…” I try to find the right word, while rubbing my forehead a bit.

 

“This what?” She asks, tilting her head to the side.

 

“This blunt and slightly a smart ?”

 

She laughs at this, “I don’t know. Like I said, you brought me here...so whatever I am it’s what you thought of.”

 

“So if I think of you as a….” I look at her and she frowns.

 

“As a what?”

 

“As a dog will you...woah.” My eyes widened when she literally transformed into a cute puppy right in front of me.

 

“Ohh Chaeyoungie you're so cute.” I pet her.

 

“Wow so this is how it’s like to be a dog eh.”

 

“You can talk?”

 

“Again, your mind.” She says.

 

“Right.” I nod, thinking her back into her human form.

 

“So…” She says as we keep walking around aimlessly.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Why am I really here Rosie?” The tone in her voice changes.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I’m just curious why I still live in your mind rent free.”

 

“You don’t.” I deny.

 

“Me being here suggests otherwise.” Chaeyoung chuckles a bit, “You know I’m not her right? Like I’m not real.”

 

“I think we’ve established that.” I say.

 

She nods and we continue to walk on this unknown path.

 

“How long have we been walking?” I ask. We’ve been walking in silence for so long, but nothing is changing. The scenery, weather, everything is still the same.

 

“I don’t know.” Chaeyoung shrugs.

 

“The others have been asking about Rosie.”

 

“We can’t tell them.”

 

“I know...I’m worried about what would happen if Jen found out.”

 

“Lisa? Chu?” I looked around after hearing their voices, but they weren’t there.

 

“Jennie.” Chaeyoung speaks next to me and I look at her, “How is she?”

 

“She..” I stop walking, looking at the brunette in front of me. I know she isn’t real, but it feels real..that’s why I couldn’t lie to her, “She misses you. A lot.”

 

“Yeah...I miss her too.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah of course I know...there are times when we were together when she’d get this far away look in her eyes. Like she was seeing something else. Thinking about it now, it’s probably her longing for me to be you.”

 

“I see..maybe that’s why.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“That’s why your mind is rejecting my heart.”

 

“What? Because of Jennie?”

 

“It’s not just because of her.” Chaeyoung places a hand on my shoulder, “It’s her and everything and everyone that’s entered your life since the accident. Somehow we’re so connected with each other and my heart beating in your chest doesn’t help.”

 

“I know who I am Chaeyoung..and I know who you are.”

 

“Are you sure about that?”

 

“I just don’t want to be your replacement anymore...I just want to be me again. To be Rosie again.”

 

“You aren’t my replacement. You are you, always have been. You said it yourself, it’s just an organ.”

 

“But I’ve changed since then...it’s like you’ve also become a part of me.”

 

“Physically yes..but that’s it. All the changes that happened are your way of coping...tell me, have you fully let go of that guilt you’ve been holding on?”

 

I stayed quiet.

 

“You did for a little bit, but after meeting the people around me...seeing them still grieving, those thoughts came back right? Thinking to yourself that it should have been you not me that died.”

 

“Maybe.” I admitted in a small voice.

 

“And falling for Jennie didn’t help.”

 

“She knew all along..but pretended not too. And she still had the audacity to tell me she loves me? That she would choose me regardless of everything? When all this time she was choosing me because of you, because I have the physical embodiment of the one thing you have given her that she treasures the most, your whole heart and all the love she deserves.”

 

“Rosie..”

 

“ Chaeyoung why did it have to be you?!”

 

“Hey calm down.”

 

“Just leave me alone.” I walked away.

“Rosie!”

 

“I just want to be alone.”

 

“Hey!” Chaeyoung grabbed my arm, “You need to calm down.” She demanded.

 

“I am calm.”

 

“Are you?” She gestures to the field and sky around us.

 

The flowers were dying and the clouds were turning grey, “Calm down.”

 

I shut my eyes, trying to find my peace again...trying to let go..but all I see is everyone looking at me with longing.

 

“Rosie, listen to me. My friends, they care about you...they’ve accepted what’s happened. They know I’m gone...and Jennie..she’s taken those first steps. Remember Lisa told you she’s been going to therapy. It’s now you Rosie. You are not my replacement. You are you. You have your parents, Alice, friends, everyone that cares for you as Rosie..not as Chaeyoung.”

 

“That’s easier said than done.”

 

“I know, but why don’t we do this together?” Chaeyoung suggested.

 

“And how would that help?”

 

“Because you have to face your problem...and that’s me.” Chaeyoung smiles.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Rosie? Are you waking up? Rosie?”

 

“Babe go get the doctor.”

 

Opening my eyes, my body felt physically heavy, but my mind...felt lighter.

 

“Hey there sleeping beauty.” Lisa smiles at me.

 

And I begin to choke on the intubation tube, thankfully Jisoo came back with Dr. Barlis and his medical team.

 

“Well look who’s finally back.” Dr. Barlis smiles, and I try to get up but my limbs feel weak. Like I’m a newborn learning to walk.

 

“Careful. You’ve been asleep for quite a while.” Lisa says, having the bed lift up instead of trying to help me sit up on my own.

 

“How long.” I manage to croak out, hurting my throat.

 

“5 months.”

 

“5...months?”

 

“Did I?” I place a hand on my heart.

 

“No...but there was a moment where you did go into cardiac arrest. But right when we got here you stabilized on your own. Since you are awake, we’re going to run some tests on you...but from what we’ve seen the rejection seems to have disappeared too. I want to run some tests and keep you here a bit longer though. To be sure.”

 

“Okay.” I nod my head, and Dr. Barlis excuses himself.

 

“It’s really good to see you up Rosie.” Lisa hugs me tightly.

 

“Yeah...you scared us you know.” Jisoo hugs me after Lisa.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Hey no need for that. We’re just glad you’re awake. I’ve already texted everyone.” Jisoo smiles.

 

“Everyone?”

 

“Just the people here...no one in Korea knows but they have been asking about you.” Lisa adds.

 

“Let’s just keep this between us okay?”

 

“Alright.” Lisa smiles at me, “You know, there’s something different about you.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You just look...relaxed..if that makes sense.”

 

“Yeah..I get what you mean..but there’s still things I need to figure out.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“It’s nothing.” I shake my head.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

-Present Time-

 

“How are you doing?”

 

“Really good. I’ve come to terms with everything and I’m at a good place.”

 

“I’m glad.”

 

“You know Suzy.” I begin, looking at the auburn haired woman in front of me, “I’ve always found it strange...how you’ve been so calm with everything. When we first met and I asked you about your book, you asked if I had the same feeling that she still lives inside of me. Do you remember that?” I ask her and she stays quiet.

 

“At the time I was certain of one thing..and that’s you knew Chaeyoung..but it’s only recently am I realizing what you mean when you said she lives inside of me...tell me how long have you known about my heart? Why did you tell me about Jennie knowing? How do you seem to know everything in my life?”

 

“What are you talking about Rosie? I only found out that second time we met.”

 

“No...that’s not true. That’s why when we met that second time I felt like you knew. Because you did. You’ve always known my heart used to be Chaeyoung’s..but you acted like you didn’t fully know. I’ve come to terms with everything, accepted it all. But I can’t figure out how you fit into all this...and why you suddenly told me that Jennie knew after seeing us that day. Why keep all tha..”

 

“It’s because I was in love with Chaeyoung and then I fell in love with you.” Suzy cuts me off, “I loved Chaeyoung so much, but she always chose Jennie..never looking at me as anything more. Then she passed away..I found out her heart was transplanted to the woman who was in the accident with her…I admit I was curious to know who had her heart that’s why I began to look after you..but as I kept watching over you I found myself wanting to know you more and more. It was my luck that you went and looked for me, but then you just had to look at Jennie the same way Chaeyoung used to. You just had to choose her, even though she didn’t really choose you for you. And I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t have you choose her too, so I told you that she knew. It was the truth. I didn’t want her to keep lying to you.”

 

“Do you think doing that would have made me run to you?”

 

“No, but I knew you would have left Jennie..and also realize that you’ve also begun to see yourself as Chae’s replacement.”

 

“That’s so ed up Suzy. You stalked me, manipulated me, made me think that you were my friend..that you were Chaeyoung’s friend, but all this time you’ve..”

 

“I was trying to help you, because I love you!” She yells.

 

“That’s not the way to do it!” I retort, glad we’re in her office in Melbourne.

 

“Then how else?”

 

“I don’t know. But stalking me for years?! Destroying my relationship? That’s definitely not it.”

 

“Rosie…”

 

“You know what Suzy..maybe it’s you that still needs to come to terms with Chaeyoung’s death. You still think I’m her and your idea of who I am is based off of Chaeyoung. And seeing me get along with her friends, with Jennie...it made it even worse. Even now, I can tell you’re looking at me like I’m her. But hate to burst your bubble, I’m not her. Never will be. I’m me and no one else. Until you get that in your mind, until you accept that. Don’t contact me, don’t look for me. Stay away from me.”

 

“Rosie, wait.”

 

“Maybe you should go see a shrink yourself.” I say, before leaving her office.

 

~ ~

 

“Okay how was it?” Lisa asks me after I get home from my meeting with Suzy.

 

“Crazy, she basically has been stalking me since the accident. I think she’s obsessed with Chaeyoung..even after her death.”

 

“I knew she was sus, when she suddenly showed up at the hospital wanting to see you while you were in a coma.”

 

“Wait what?”

 

“Yeah, that’s why she suddenly moved her practice here.”

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“Chu asked around.”

 

“Yeah well I told her to basically stay away until she figures herself out. Because I finally regained myself and there’s no way I’ll lose sight of my own path again.”

 

“Awwww.” Lisa coos, “I’m proud of you Rosie. Even though you did just ghost us all until now, I’m proud of you.”

 

“I said I was sorry didn’t I?”

 

“Yeah but at least Jen sent letters you were radio silent.”

 

“Hey at least I’m back! Just in time for your wedding.”

 

“Yeah okay fine...I guess I’ll let it go.”

 

“I knew you could never resist me.” I wiggle my brows playfully at Lisa who pushes my shoulder away, “If only I can choose another best friend.”

 

“HEY!”

 

“Kidding.” Lisa chuckles, “But you know everyone’s been asking about you.”

 

“Yeah...I’ll probably be getting an earful from them. I already got a lot from my parents and Aly.”

 

“Deserved.”

 

“Lisa.”

 

“It’s true...but are you ready to see Jen again?” Lisa goes from playful to serious in 0.2 seconds.

 

“Yeah.” I answer without hesitation.

 

“Good. You know we’re rooting for you two.”

 

“Lisa...I don’t know..”

 

“Trust me..talk to her. Besides, the rest of us are convinced you two are like soulmates.”

 

“Jen and Me?”

 

“Trust me Rosie...you’ll find your way back to each other.”

 

“Why do you sound so sure that we will.”

 

“I just know.” Lisa winks at me and I roll my eyes.

 

“Okay Ms. All-knowing, but for now I gotta go fetch Aly and Hank at the park.”

 

“Alright! Drive safe.”

 

“I will.”

 

“Ah also, don’t forget dinner with everyone, you can’t bail anymore Rosie. If you do, I swear Yeri and the boys are going to hunt you down.”

 

“Got it, got it!” I yell as I leave my place.

 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

A/n: uhm Hi? Sorry I was MIA for a bit there, got busy with some things in life. But I’m back! And also Memories is going to end in the next part….We’ve finally reached the point where the two are both in better places mentally and emotionally. So...I didn’t want to drag it out any longer. We’ll also find out if Lisa is right about the two finding their way back to each other.

 

As always let me know what you think.

 

And I’ll see you guys in the last chapter.

 

Bye bye