It’s been a few months now, almost a year since then. We’ve been together for a decade, married for 5. I’ve known for a while but I’d decided to keep my mouth shut. It’s okay, I get it. People change...I just wish she didn’t.

 

“Hey you okay?” She suddenly placed a palm on my forehead checking my temperature. I didn’t even realize she was back.

 

“Hi. I’m fine. Just deep in thought I guess.” I smiled and she returned it, her gums in full view. I’ve always loved her gummy smile.

 

“Are you lying to me right now Mrs. Kim?” She teased me by glaring playfully.

 

“Do I feel hot to you?” I teased, smirking when I saw the visible shade of pink on her fluffy cheeks.

 

“You’re always going to be hot to me babe.” She winked, and I’d like to think her words were true, because at one point they were.

 

“Yeah?” I smiled, leaning forward and capturing her lips. Usually she would respond right away, but I noticed this time, she hesitated.

 

‘Of course,’ I thought to myself, pulling away, “I love you..you know that?” I smiled, cupping her face, rubbing my thumb over her cheeks softly.

 

“Hmm I know.” She smiled, leaning into my touch a bit more, but she didn’t say it back.

 

“Sleepy?” I changed the subject, allowing her to burrow into my arms, only to realize it’s been a while since I’ve held her like this.

 

“Mhm long day at the office today.” She mumbled.

 

“Then let’s sleep.” I whispered, her hair, coaxing her to sleep.

 

‘If I can only have you like this then that’s okay. As long as at the end of the day, you come back to me like this. I’m yours Jennie Kim...I won’t choose anyone else but you.’ I swallowed, trying to not let my true emotions show.

 

~Flashback - University- ~

 

“Why did we sign up for an early calc class? Like why? You’d think we learned from our 8am chem lab last semester.” Chaeyoung groaned, while her and Jisoo, her best friend, marched across campus with the sun barely up in the sky.

 

“Mood.” Jisoo chuckled, putting an arm around Chaeyoung’s shoulder, “But hey at least we got each other right?”

 

“How’s that supposed to make me feel better?” Chaeyoung teased.

 

“YAH! Rude.” Jisoo glared, but before her hand could land a solid hit on Chaeyoung, the taller brunette ran away laughing heartily, “You know I...Oof.” Chaeyoung ran into someone causing the two to fall on the ground.

 

“I’m so sorry.” Chaeyoung immediately got up, and offered a helping hand.

 

“It’s okay no harm done.” The girl smiled, looking up at Chaeyoung while grabbing her hand.

 

“Right.” Chaeyoung cleared , of all people to literally bump into, it would be Bae Suzy, one of the most popular students on campus, and Chaeyoung’s not so secret crush.

 

‘ing universe. Of course I’d run into my crush at this ungodly hour and spill her coffee.’ Chaeyoung mentally cursed, still trying to keep a friendly and totally not freaked out smile on her face, “I’m sorry again..uhm let me at least buy you another drink.” Chaeyoung gestured to the spilled liquid on the ground.

 

“It’s totally fine, it wasn’t for me anyways. She’ll just have to deal without her caffeine fix for the morning.” Suzy chuckled, imagining Jennie’s grumpy face later on.

 

“I don’t think that makes me feel better. I’m sorry to your friend too.” Chaeyoung apologized again, bowing her head..cause she really did feel bad.

 

“You know you’ve literally apologized 3 times and I still don’t know your name.” Suzy smiled, she found the tall girl adorable.

 

“Oh I’m uh Chaeyoung, Park Chaeyoung.”

 

“Well it’s nice to meet you Chaeyoung, I’m Suzy..Bae Suzy” Suzy smiled.

 

“And I’m Kim Jisoo, her best friend.” Jisoo decided it was time to jump into this conversation before Chaeyoung makes even more of a fool of herself, “And it’s really nice to meet you Suzy, but we’re about 5 minutes away from being late to our Calc class and lord knows Prof Jung has it out for us.” Jisoo rolled her eyes, remembering how the professor tried to embarrass her for sleeping in class by making her answer the problem he wrote. Of course Jisoo was able to answer it perfectly, being the genius that she is.

 

“Ohhhh we’re in the same class then!” Suzy exclaimed.

 

“We are?” Chaeyoung and Jisoo frowned, they haven’t seen the girl in that class since the new semester started.

 

“Yep, transferred today actually with my other friends. It fit our schedules better.”

 

“Right..so let’s go then?”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Okay Park Chaeyoung, Kim Jisoo what the hell were you guys doing with the Baes and Jenlisa?” Joy, Seulgi, Yeri and Wendy, all asked cornering the two after they saw them together.

 

“What do you mean what were we doing, we literally just got out of class.” Jisoo explained.

 

“Yes, but you guys were talking to each other as you left.” Yeri pointed out.

 

“We just sat near each other in lecture and they were asking about getting tutored.”

 

“I find that very hard to believe, I went to high school with them and those 4 always topped the class ranking for all subjects.” Wendy smirked, seeing through Jisoo’s lie.

 

“Alright fine.. So you see.” Jisoo sighed and finally told their friends what happened.

 

“OMG what kind of fateful encounter. Dammit! I knew I should have signed up for calc with you guys.” Joy huffed, crossing her arms.

 

“I can already imagine Chae over here making a blubbering fool of herself in front of her crush like that.” Yeri teased.

 

“Okay first of all, I don’t have a crush on Suzy.”

 

“RIGHHHT.”

 

“I really don’t. Chu defend me here.” Chaeyoung looked at her best friend who was laughing along with the others, “I need new friends.” Chaeyoung huffed before marching off.

 

“Where is she going?” Seulgi asked.

 

“Just let her be. Doesn’t want to acknowledge the truth.” Jisoo chuckled. But with Chaeyoung gone, the 4 girls turned their teasing attacks on Jisoo.

 

“So...Chu, tell us, how is it like seeing your dance goddess Lalisa Manoban?” Yeri smirked, putting an arm around Jisoo’s shoulders.

 

“I’m also out of here. Bye.” Jisoo shook Yeri’s arm off her shoulder before running off.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“So Park Chaeyoung huh.” Irene teased after they separated from Chaeyoung and Jisoo.

 

“What are you talking about?” Suzy feigned ignorance.

 

“Ayy you can’t hide it from me, I’m your cousin.” Irene gave Suzy a look.

 

“I think she’s nice, that’s it.” Suzy replied adamantly.

 

“Sure that’s what you say now right guys?” Irene turned to Jennie and Lisa.

 

“Sure.” Jennie replied, not really interested in the entire exchange, still bitter about not having her morning coffee.

 

“I’m going for a walk.” Jennie suddenly announced, getting up and leaving before her friends could say anything.

 

“What’s wrong with her?” Suzy asked, noticing how cold and distant the girl had been for a while now.

 

“The caffeine.” the girls all nodded in unison.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Ah finally some peace.” Chaeyoung smiled, taking in the view from the rooftop of the science building. A spot she found after that 8am chem lab last semester.

 

“Wouldn’t count on that.” A voice spoke, startling the girl.

 

“What the? Who’s there.” Chaeyoung spoke lowly, squaring up and looking ready to fight.

 

“Woah there Jet Li. Put those down. I was here first.” Jennie chuckled, making her way next to the brunette, “What brings you up to my spot?”

 

“You’re spot?” Chaeyoung asked, eyebrow raised.

 

“Yes my spot. It’s clearly marked.” Jennie nonchalantly replied.

 

“Where?”

 

“Look down.”

 

And Chaeyoung did, and lo and behold written on the railing in red sharpie, ‘JENNIE KIM’S SPOT.’ Chaeyoung couldn’t stop herself from chuckling.

 

“Well would you look at that.” Chaeyoung replied, taking two steps to her right, “Now I’m not in your spot.” She looked at the shorter girl, who slowly made her way to her spot.

 

“Okay smartass.” Jennie rolled her eyes.

 

“Jeez how can you be friends with her.” Chaeyoung whispered, but Jennie literally standing right next to her heard it.

 

“With who?” She asked.

 

“No one.”

 

“Ah Suzy or Irene? I’m thinking the latter since you had heart eyes on her since calc” Jennie deduced.

 

“Okay sherlock.” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes, slowly becoming more at ease with Jennie’s presence.

 

‘Look at her, being all cold and aloof earlier, but now all witty and charming.’ Chaeyoung smiled at that thought. ‘Jennie Kim huh..You’re definitely something.’ Chaeyoung leaned her head on her hands, resting her elbows on the railing.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

As time passed, Chaeyoung soon found herself getting closer to Suzy and to Jennie as well. This caught everyone’s attention because that group rarely allowed others into their circle, not so much because they didn’t want to, but more so because people always had an agenda when approaching them. But not Chaeyoung and her friends, they were genuine.

 

“Okay stop being all pouty Suzy it doesn’t suit you.” Jisoo teased the girl.

 

“I’m not pouting.” The girl huffed.

 

“I think she’s just upset because Chae isn’t here.” Yeri smirked.

 

“I’m not!”

 

“Right okay, like your happy mood this morning flipped 180 when we told you that Chae won’t be in class today.” Joy chimed in.

 

“It’s really not! Jeez..”

 

“Okay that’s enough guys.” Jennie said, voice stern.

 

“What’s up with her?” Jisoo turned to Lisa, whispering.

 

“Beats me.” Lisa replied nonchalantly, but of course being Jennie’s best friend, the Thai girl knows there’s something more.

 

‘Could it be?’ Lisa thought to herself, trying to put the dots all together.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“So where’s Lisa?” Jisoo asked after the girls all settled inside Chaeyoung’s place, deciding to let loose for one day before hitting the books to prepare for midterms.

 

“Dark room, working on getting some prints for her film class. Why? Miss her?” Chaeyoung couldn’t stop herself from teasing her best friend.

 

“What? No, just curious.”

 

“Sure Chu.” The other girls chuckled in unison, while Jisoo tried to fight the blush that was very apparent on her face.

 

“So what’s for dinner Chae?” Suzy asked.

 

“Pasta. Just hang tight, you guys got here early.” Chaeyoung chuckled.

 

“Well some of us were a little too excited to see certain people.” Yeri teased while eyeing the other girls, who avoided the youngest stare.

 

“We literally hang out everyday, but okay.” Chaeyoung smiled, not realizing anything at all.

 

As the others went to the living room, Jennie stayed behind, watching the brunette in the kitchen before finally deciding to speak up, “Need help?”

 

“Oh? I don’t know, have you ever cooked a meal for yourself before?” The brunette playfully asked.

 

“I have.”

 

“Well in that case, sure.” Chaeyoung smiled, handing Jennie the spare apron.

 

“Need help?” Chaeyoung asked, noticing Jennie struggling to tie the apron around her waist.

 

“I don’t thi..” Jennie’s words died in , when she felt Chaeyoung standing close behind her taking the ends and tying a knot.

 

“There, let’s get started.” Chaeyoung smiled, turning away from the brunette completely missing her reddening cheeks.

 

‘Park Chaeyoung, you will be the death of me.’ Jennie smiled to herself trying to calm her beating heart.

 

The two worked like a well oiled machine, seemingly knowing what the other one needed and when. Chaeyoung was chopping some vegetables and Jennie checking on the sauce when Jisoo snapped a photo and teasingly said, “How domestic of you two.” Catching the two girls in surprise, which led to Chaeyoung accidentally cutting her finger with the knife.

 

“Ah! .” She cursed, feeling the stinging pain and seeing the blood come out of her finger.

 

“Rosie.” Jennie quickly sprung into action, placing a towel over the cut and applying pressure, “Jeez be careful.” She scolded the girl, with a frown on her face.

 

‘Adorable.’ Chaeyoung smiled at Jennie, no longer noticing the pain on her finger.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“You’re late.” Jennie raised a brow at the girl stumbling up to the rooftop of the science building.

 

“Didn’t know that we have a schedule.” Chaeyoung replied, walking to her marked spot. Yep, Jennie wrote, ‘Park Chaeyoung’s Spot,’ on the railing next to hers.

 

“I..we..” Jennie looked away from the girl, only Park Chaeyoung can make Jennie Kim flustered.

 

“I’m just teasing Jen.” She chuckled, poking Jennie’s dumpling cheeks.

 

“Whatever.” Jennie pushed Chaeyoung’s hand away from her face, and turned her attention back at the horizon, “How are you and Suz?” Jennie asked after a few moments of silence.

 

“Taking it slow. Just seeing it where it takes us.” Chaeyoung replied.

 

“Right good. I’m happy for you two.” Jennie turned to face Chaeyoung with a smile on her face. Trying to hide her true emotions, because if she didn’t..then Chaeyoung would know just how in-love she is with her, “You finally got your girl.”

 

“Yeah it’s surreal, I didn’t think she liked me.” Chaeyoung chuckled lightly with a small shake of her head.

 

“Really Rosie?” Jennie lifted a brow, ignoring the sharp pain in her chest.

 

“What?”

 

“Literally anyone with eyes could see how much she likes you.”

 

“I guess I can be a bit dense at times.”

 

“Yeah you really can be.” Jennie turned away, unable to look at the taller girl any longer.

 

It was their routine, Jennie and Chaeyoung’s, to meet up at the rooftop at least once a day. It started that first day they saw each other and it’s been something the two would always look forward to in their day. But as each day passes, the deeper Jennie falls...it just because Chaeyoung is in love with one of her best friends.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Another year has passed. Chaeyoung and Suzy are still going strong, although the now lilac haired girl swears she almost died when she had to meet the entire Bae clan. But of course, Chaeyoung’s magnetic personality was able to win them over.

 

“No Babe, stay back don’t eve..YAH PARK CHAEYOUNG!” Suzy yelled out laughing as the girl wrapped her arms around her waist from behind, lifting her up and twirling her around a bit. Suzy laughing merrily at her girlfriend’s crazy antics.

 

“Okay put me down, you dork.”

 

“Hehe good morning.” Chaeyoung smiled, stealing a peck from the other girl’s cheeks.

 

“Morning baby.”

 

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Yeri grimaced fake gagging.

 

“Can you keep your sweetness to yourselves, thanks.” Joy replied.

 

“I think they’re cute, right Seul?” Irene smiled at Seulgi, who is too whipped to disagree, “Yes they are Hyun.”

 

“Ugh couples we’re out of here.” Joy and Yeri groaned before dragging Lisa and Jisoo away with them.

 

“Oh where’s Jen?” Chaeyoung spoke up after noticing the brunette wasn’t with Irene and Suzy.

 

“New York.” Irene replied casually.

 

“In the middle of the semester?” Chaeyoung frowned, Jennie didn’t tell her she was leaving and it confused Chaeyoung because the brunette would usually keep her updated on her schedule.

 

“What are you talking about? Didn’t you already say goodbye?”

 

“Goodbye? What are you guys talking about?”

 

“She transferred to NYU.”

 

“What?” Chaeyoung suddenly felt something break inside of her, “she didn’t tell me.”

 

“Oh...I thought she told you. We were wondering why you didn’t come with Jisoo to the airport and when we asked why, she said you two already said your goodbyes.”

 

“No we didn’t.”

 

“Hey it’s okay.” Suzy cupped Chaeyoung’s face, the girl looked so dejected, “She’ll be back during the semester breaks.”

 

“Yep, plus we can always go visit her.” Irene shrugged, like travelling from Seoul to New York was no big deal.

 

“Right.” Chaeyoung nodded, trying to be happy, but the news disappointed her. Especially since Jennie kept her out of the dark.

 

Quiet, that’s what Chaeyoung the ever so bubbly and sometimes talkative girl has been like. She hasn’t said another word since she found out Jennie left and it was making Suzy slightly upset and well, jealous.

 

“Hey.” She lightly squeezed Chaeyoung’s hand. The two were in the back garden, just sitting together, Suzy reading her notes for her next class and Chaeyoung listening to music, trying to drown out her thoughts.

 

“Yeah?” Chaeyoung paused the song, turning her attention to her girlfriend.

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

“Sure?” She smiled.

 

“Well you’ve been quiet ever since you found out about Jen...and I’m just curious...why is it bothering you so much?”

 

“What do you mean? I’m fine, I’m happy for her.”

 

“Chaeyoung.” Suzy called out to her seriously, “The truth.”

 

“Okay okay. I may be a bit disappointed that she didn’t tell me when I thought we were friends you know. Like you all knew, but why was I the only one singled out.”

 

“Jen probably forgot. You know how she is sometimes.”

 

“I do know how she is, and if it’s something like this...She would have told me. No, she should have told me.”

 

“Why are you acting like it’s the end of the world? She’s not dead.” Suzy deadpanned, getting even more upset with Chaeyoung.

 

“Because it’s...I...it’s” Chaeyoung was sputtering nonsense. She didn’t have an answer, why was she so upset? Why did it feel like the world ended for her?

 

Suzy kept quiet soon after, not wanting to push the girl any further...scared of the repercussions.

 

~ ~

 

“Are you seriously going after her?” Jisoo looked at Chaeyoung, it’s semester break and not having heard from Jennie was making Chaeyoung go mad.

 

“Yes..I have to see her. I need to ask why she’s ghosting me.” Chaeyoung was adamant, already packing her suitcase.

 

“What about Suzy?”

 

Chaeyoung stayed mum.

 

“I knew it.” Jisoo smiled, making her way to the taller girl’s bed.

 

“Knew what?” Chaeyoung asked, still focused on packing.

 

“That you like no, looking at you now and how you’ve been, I’d say that you're in-love with her, with Jen.”

 

“What?” Chaeyoung finally stopped looking at Jisoo, who had a knowing smile on her face.

 

“Just admit it...we all see it you know.”

 

“We?”

 

“Yes Chaengie...We..all of us, even Suzy.” Jisoo replied, watching as Chaeyoung fiddled with her fingers, biting her bottom lip nervously, “talk to Suzy before you leave. Stop hurting her and yourself.”

 

~ ~

 

“Jisoo?” Chaeyoung called her best friend. She had just landed at JFK and realized she had no idea where Jennie is currently staying. She only knows NYU.

 

“Park Chaeyoung do you have any idea what time it is in Seoul?” Jisoo grumbled, voice thick from being woken up.

 

“Oh...right.” Chaeyoung awkwardly chuckled, realizing it’s barely 5am in Korea.

 

“It’s fine, what’s wrong?” Jisoo asked.

 

“Well...do you by chance have Jen’s address?”

 

“You..” Jisoo paused before bursting out laughing over the phone, “I can’t believe you flew all the way around the world to look for her and forget the most important piece of information.” Jisoo manages to breath out in between her loud laugh.

 

“I was in a hurry okay...can you please text it to me?”

 

“Oh Chaengie this is..I wished I recorded this phone call.” Jisoo was still laughing.

 

“Just send it or else I’ll tell Lisa about that one time at the clu..”

 

“Okay okay I’m sending it jeez..meanie. You’re lucky I asked Lisa about it.” Jisoo grumbled.

 

“I knew you would know! You’re the best Chu! I’ll bring presents bye!” Chaeyoung hung up.

 

She’s at the penthouse at the London NYC - Chu

 

Thanks. -Chaengie

 

Good luck. Hope she hasn’t found someone else lol - Chu

 

Chaeyoung knew Jisoo was teasing, but it made her realize she didn’t think about the fact. What if Jennie found someone else?

 

I can’t be too late right? I mean Lisa said that I had a chance. No no..I won’t give up. Even if she has someone, even if there’s a chance she rejects me...I’ll still tell her. With her resolve made, Chaeyoung heads off.

 

Meanwhile at NYU, Jennie has just gotten out of her 300 level Econ class feeling really proud of acing the final. It’s been months since she left Seoul, since she left Chaeyoung. It would be a lie to say she didn’t miss her chipmunk, but she also knows when to let go. And if Chaeyoung is happy with Suzy, well she’ll just have to it up and move on. Jennie doesn’t like living in the past, so the faster she moves on from Park Chaeyoung the better.

 

“I don’t know how you managed to get an A on that exam just now.” Luna shook her head playfully, “The great Jennie Kim, suits you perfectly.” She further teased

 

“You know it’s not that.” Jennie turned to her friend, rolling her eyes in fake annoyance.

 

“Right okay. Now wha..” Luna’s words were cut off when another classmate, the campus’s Golden Boy Parker, chimed in, “Hey Jennie you busy tonight?” he asked, with a hopeful smile.

 

“Sorry dude, I already claimed my J tonight.” Luna replied, placing an arm over Jennie’s shoulder.

 

“Oh..how abou..”

 

“I’m sorry Parker, but I still have a final tomorrow and I have to prepare my stuff for my trip.” Jennie interrupted with half a lie, hoping the boy gets the hint.

 

“Right..well have a good break then Jennie.” Parker smiled.

 

“Seriously does he not get the hint? It’s been months and he’s still chasing.” Luna laughed, after the boy ran off with the look of disappointment in his eyes.

 

“I have turned him down so many times, but he just keeps coming back...like a boomerang I don’t want.” Jennie chuckled.

 

“Who’s a boomerang?”

 

“Parker.” Luna replied, “Anyways where’s Krys?” Luna asked, looking around for Amber’s other half.

 

“Had to pick up her older sister at JFK. So Jen we partying at your place tonight or what?” Amber asked, lifting her eyebrows up suggestively, while Jennie and Luna rolled their eyes at the girl.

 

“As much as I would love to ruin whatever’s left of my healthy liver with you guys, I have to prepare my things.”

 

“Are you seriously going back? What abou..”

 

“We’re going to the Alps for the holidays so the chances of seeing her would be slim.” Jennie stopped Luna.

 

“Alright fine. When’s your flight we can drop you off.”

 

“It’s okay, Krys already had to fight airport traffic once today, wouldn’t want to make her do it again. My driver can just take me.”

 

“Right well, have fun then Jen.” Luna smiled and Jennie hugged her friends, wished them a happy holidays and got into her private car.

 

“Good evening Ms. Kim.”

 

“Gerald...what did I say about calling me Ms. Kim?” Jennie huffed.

 

“Right, good evening Jennie.”

 

“Better. How are you today Gerald?”

 

“I’m doing great miss.”

 

“Ah tat tat no miss as well.”

 

“I’m doing great Jennie.” Gerald laughed, “Ah by the way there was a call from the hotel.”

 

“Oh? Why?”

 

“It seems you have a guest.”

 

Jennie frowned...a guest... Her parents texted her saying they were going to be leaving for Switzerland soon, she knows Lisa usually went to Thailand, and the Baes are usually in Fiji.

 

“I wonder who it could be..maybe Lis decided to see me first.” Jennie thought, her eyes gazing out of the car’s window.

 

~

 

The tall Lilac haired girl with fluffy chipmunk like cheeks looking at her with the softest look possible was the last person Jennie thought of as a possible guest. Especially since she went through great lengths to keep everyone’s mouth shut about her place of residence from said girl.

 

“Rosie..” The name escaped her lips in a tone barely above a whisper.

 

“Hi.” Chaeyoung waved a hand awkwardly, trying to calm her heart down which has been beating uncontrollably fast since she saw Jennie.

 

“Uh uhm..what are you doing here?” Jennie asked, heading to the kitchen to escape the awkward air and after taking a huge breath to calm herself yelled out, “Want something to drink? I have water, coffee, tea, juice, soda, wine” Jennie paused, mumbling, “Tequila, but that’s more for me.”

 

“Jen.” She heard Chaeyoung speak, feeling the hair on the back of her neck stand.

 

‘She’s next to me isn’t she.’ Jennie thought, tightly shutting her eyes and again recomposing herself before turning towards the sound of Chaeyoung’s voice.

 

“Y-yeah?” Jennie cleared , Chaeyoung was too close, literally just inches away

 

“I just..” Chaeyoung trailed off, her eyes once again having that soft look.

 

“Rosie?” Jennie took a few steps back, feeling like if she stayed still for another second she might just lean in and kiss the girl.

 

“Why’d you leave without saying goodbye?” Chaeyoung asked, trying to stop herself from frowning at Jennie creating space between them again.

 

“I forgot...sorry it was sudden.” Jennie replied, feeling proud she didn’t stutter.

 

“Did you really?” Chaeyoung pressed, again closing the distance between them. Jennie stayed quiet, Chaeyoung’s presence starting to intoxicate her.

 

Too close. Jennie thought to herself, trying to will herself to take another step-back, but she couldn’t. Chaeyoung’s gaze was firmly on her, keeping her still.

 

“Rosie.” Jennie breathed out, balling her hands into a tight fist, trying to keep her resolve.

 

“Why’d you leave me Jen?” Chaeyoung asked, closing the distance between them even more, their faces just inches apart.

 

“Rosie I..” Jennie gulped, her eyes darting between Chaeyoung’s lips and her eyes.

 

“Why?” Chaeyoung whispered.

 

“I...Rosie...I…” Jennie Kim had no words, nothing, so she did what her body wanted to.

 

‘I’m sorry Suzy.’ Jennie thought before closing the gaps between their lips.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Is everything okay with you?”

 

“Huh? Oh..Chu it’s you.” I smiled, my mind pulling away from the past.

 

“I’ve been here for a while, surprised it took you this long to notice. What’s up?” Jisoo asked, her brows knitted together. She’s trying to read me, so I hide my emotions with my smile.

 

“Nothing, just thinking about some lyrics.”

 

“You know Chae..we’ve been best friends since high school.. I can read you like an open book. So tell me what’s really going on?” She asked with a determined look on her face.

 

“It’s nothing...I was just lost in my daydream.” I chuckled lightly, praying that she drops the subject.

“Hmm.” Jisoo hummed, going around and grabbing some of the papers scattered around my studio, scrutinizing each sheet.

 

“It scares me whenever you leave. Could I have done more? What else could I have done? Maybe if I loved you more. If I ask you to stay would you? I’m sorry I wasn’t enough.” Jisoo began to read some of them out loud.

 

“Chu.” I called out, but her eyes were stuck on one sheet, gripping the paper tightly, the sides crumpling.

 

“It’s okay, you come home to me every night. Not to her but to me.” Jisoo read out, her voice laced with anger.

 

I got up quickly, placing a hand over her trembling one, “Jisoo.” I called out again, my voice firm.

 

“Is she?” Jisoo turned to me, I know what she’s thinking. If I tell her she’ll no doubt barge into her office and demand answers. Even if she hurts me, I still want to protect her.

 

“No, they’re just lyrics Chu. Chill.” I chuckled lightly before continuing, “You know her..she won’t do that to me.” I assured her, my thumb going to the silver band on my ring finger, a habit I seemed to develop ever since I found out.

 

“Kim Chaeyoung.” She looked at me deeply in my eyes, searching for the truth within my lie, but I’ve gotten better at disguising the lie as the truth.

 

“I was watching the world of the married, got me too invested.”

 

Jisoo’s frown was still on her face, but she nodded nonetheless. A sign that she’ll drop the subject, but knowing my best friend, she’ll be watching her very carefully from now on.

 

That evening I came home, the house was quiet. Kuma and Kai were both sleeping in their beds. The only sound was the pitter patter of the rain outside. I used to hate rainy days, but now I find comfort in it. It’s like the sky is crying the tears I can’t spill. Making some tea, I made my way to our reading nook, settling down amongst the sea of pillows, and draping the blanket over my legs. Letting the light rain calm the storm inside me. Ironic huh.

 

Gazing around my eyes landed at the pink wall on the other side of her our living room. I smiled at the memory.

 

~Flashback~

 

“Really a pink wall?” Jennie turned to her wife who had 10 different card samples of the same pastel looking pink and scrutinizing each one closely as if they aren’t all the same shade.

 

“Why? There’s nothing wrong with it.” Chaeyoung replied, her eyes still on the swatches, “Plus it’ll match my hair.” She teased, looking at the shorter girl.

 

“Right okay.” Jennie rolled her eyes, just letting the girl pick whatever color she wanted, knowing she couldn’t say no to her Rosie.

 

“Let’s go with this one, Dusty Rose.” Chaeyoung finally decided on one, showing the card to Jennie who nodded her head agreeing..because again, she can’t say no to whatever her Rosie wants.

 

The two began right away, deciding to divide and conquer.

 

“Rosie wait, stand still.” Jennie laughed, taking the brush and drawing an outline of the girl who laughed, taking a selfie with the outline.

 

It was supposed to be a quick little DIY project since it was just an accent wall, but somehow the two ended up getting paint all over themselves rather than the wall.

 

“Ahh Rosie!” Jennie squealed as Chaeyoung grabbed the back of her shirt, pulling the girl from the step-tool and catching her bridal style, twirling around a bit.

 

“If you keep doing that we won’t finish today.” Jennie huffed, arms wrapped around Chaeyoung’s neck.

 

“It’s okay, it could be left as is, it’s art.” Chaeyoung argued.

 

“Yes, but it’ll look messy.”

 

“I like it...it makes me happy and it’ll remind us of this day.”

 

“That was cheesy babe.” Jennie teased, but Chaeyoung just smiled widely, “I know, but you love it.”

 

“That I do, but I love you more.” Jennie smiled, pulling the pink haired girl down, kissing her deeply.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Chaeyoung hi, sorry to bother you this late into the night.” Ryujin, another producer at the studio called. I blinked away the sleepiness from my eyes, I wondered when I fell asleep.

 

“No it’s fine. What’s wrong?” I asked, noticing it was almost 2 in the morning.

 

“There was a problem with one of the mixes and the guys will be here later to record. Do you think you can…”

 

“I’ll be right there. Just get it all set-up.”

 

“Great! Thanks Chae you’re the best!” Ryujin beamed over the phone before hanging up.

 

Stretching my limbs out, I made my way to our bedroom. The bed was still made and Jennie was nowhere to be seen.

 

‘That’s a first.’ I thought to myself, deciding to ignore the breaking feeling in my heart again.

 

Before heading out, I placed some food and water in the dogs’ bowls and gave Joohwangi some food as well. I know I won’t be back until the evening, so I had to make sure the kids were fed.

 

“I’ll see you guys.” I bid them goodbye, because they’re the only ones here.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

I was tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally...tired. It was a long day at the studio and I didn’t need this right now.

 

“Where were you?” Jennie asked me, her tone hostile, but I chose to ignore it. Making my way towards our bed where she sat with her arms crossed across her chest.

 

“Hi love.” I planted a soft kiss on the top of her head.

 

“That doesn’t answer my question.” She replied, grabbing my hand, stopping me from going into our bathroom to change.

 

“Studio, there were some problems.” I replied, not bothering to remove the firm grip she had on my hand.

 

“Really? Cause when I got in last night, you were already gone.”

 

I wanted to ask her what time she got in last night, because it was at 3am when I left and she wasn’t even home.

 

“I left at midnight..Ryujin called there was a problem with one of the mixes. I need to fix it because the guys had an early recording today.” I half lied, but like I said I’ve gotten better at hiding the lie within the truth, so she didn’t notice.

 

“Right and you just stayed at the studio for almost 24 hours now?” Jennie’s tone was accusatory, and her facial expression darkened with each second that past.

 

“Jen..I’m tired. I was at the studio all day. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” I asked, rubbing my forehead with my free hand.

 

“Not until you tell me where you really were.”

 

‘Great a stubborn Jennie appears.’ I shut my eyes, trying not to blow up at her, because if I did...I know I’ll end up saying things...Things that would just hammer in the final nail in the coffin.

 

“I really was at the studio.”

 

“You didn’t even call or text. I didn’t hear from you all day.”

 

“I’m sorry it was hectic. We had a rookie group in and they usually take longer in the studio. I didn’t have a chance to take a break. I barely even ate today.” I explained, playing the ‘I skipped my meals’ card because Jennie knows if I don’t eat then I was really busy. This tactic seemed to work, I felt the grip on my hand loosen.

 

“I’m sorry.” Jennie looked down, averting my gaze.

 

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I couldn’t talk to you all day.” I decided not to pursue what’s really bothering her, because my gut tells me she wouldn’t tell the truth even if I asked, “I’m just going to shower. Maybe we can have a late dinner together? That is if you haven’t eaten?”

 

“Oh..” Jennie trailed off.

 

“It’s okay Love. Just get some rest. I can grab something at the convenience store.”

 

“No no I can make you something.” Jennie got up, but I stopped her, pulling her into my arms. Hoping I can offer some sort of comfort at whatever is truly bothering her.

 

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine. You take your rest, I know you’re just as tired as I am.” I whispered, tightening my hold around her.

 

‘I wonder..how much longer I can keep you in my arms like this.’ I thought to myself, as I gave her one last gentle squeeze, before pulling away.

 

Jennie was already fast asleep when I got out of the shower. Quietly, I made my way towards her. Sitting at the edge of our bed, I tucked a stray strand behind her ear.

 

“I’m sorry.” I apologized, for what I don’t really know. Getting up, I made my way to the garage, getting into my car and driving off. I was hungry and I also needed time to think about everything.

 

It was late and I guess it would be trespassing, but maybe if I went back to the start..it’ll help me figure out what steps to take.

 

Opening the door, a nostalgic feeling came back. It’s been years since I’ve been up here, the science building’s rooftop at the university.

 

I made my way to our usual spot and noticed the red marking of our spots were now gone, painted over.

 

“How could I have not noticed,” I trailed my fingers over the railing, “maybe if I held on tighter we wouldn’t be like this now… we were happy.” I whispered, settling down on the ground dangling my legs over the edge, leaning my arms on the lower bar, “was there anything I could have done...should I let go?”

 

~ ~

 

“I thought Jisoo and Lisa were bad, but those two are far worse.” Yeri voiced out as their other friends nodded in agreement.

 

“I know! They were already sickeningly sweet but now as a couple..ugh I’m so single.” Wendy groaned.

 

“Hey at least they finally got their together.” Joy said, feeling happy for the two who were lost in their own little world.

 

“Yeah..they look good together.” Suzy smiled. The other girls looked at the girl, Irene giving her cousin’s hand a gentle squeeze, “I’m fine.” Suzy smiled at her friends, she really was. It’s been months and she’s talked to both Chaeyoung and Jennie. Suzy has gotten her closure.

 

“Okay well in that case.” Lisa had a smirk on her face, before running off towards the couple and purposely coming in between the two.

 

“LISA!” Jennie yelled, landing a solid smack onto her best friend’s arm.

 

“Ah! Chaeyoungie she’s being mean!” Lisa hid behind Chaeyoung, holding her arms around the girl’s waist.

 

“Hands off my property Manoban.” Jennie fumed, harshly moving Lisa’s hands away from Chaeyoung’s midsection.

 

“She’s just teasing you Love.” Chaeyoung shook her head at the possessive girl.

 

“Hmmph, my Rosie!” Jennie huffed cutely, causing the others to fake gag, but of course Chaeyoung cooed at the adorable little dumpling.

 

~ ~

 

“Rosie~ did you have lunch?”

 

“Well hello to you too Ms. Kim.” Chaeyoung couldn’t stop the smile from forming on her face upon hearing her girlfriend’s voice.

 

“Did you? I know you skipped breakfast this morning.”

 

“I did.” Chaeyoung decided to tease the girl, knowing the real reason for the call.

 

“Aw..I was gonna ask you to eat with me.” Chaeyoung could hear the pout in Jennie’s voice.

 

“I was just teasing love. I was actually about to ask if you wanted to have a meal together.”

 

“Hubbyyy!” Jennie whined, “Pick me up in 10?”

 

Chaeyoung laughed, just how adorable can Jennie get?

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Hubby no..don’t even...ahhhh ROSIE!” Jennie’s laugh echoed throughout their home.

 

“I got you!” Chaeyoung laughed while she got flour all over Jennie’s clothes, face, and hair.

 

“How are we going to finish baking these if you keep playing around huh?” Jennie asked, her arms automatically snaking around Chaeyoung’s nape.

 

“It’s fine, we can just grab some at our favorite bakery.”

 

“Rosie.” Jennie used her stern voice.

 

“Jennie.” Chaeyoung returned, her voice more teasing than stern.

 

“Can we just make these pleassseee. I really wanna give it to our friends later.”

 

“Alright, let’s work together.” Chaeyoung smiled, releasing Jennie from her arms and going back to sifting flour and separating the egg yolk from the egg whites.

 

“Need help?” Jennie asked, watching as Chaeyoung was now struggling to pipette the filling on the macarons.

 

“No I…” Chaeyoung’s words died out when she felt Jennie’s arms wrap from behind her, taking Chaeyoung’s hands and guiding her.

 

“Well this feels oddly familiar.” Chaeyoung teased.

 

“I..uhm..Rosie!” Jennie’s ears turned red, “This is why we can’t be in the kitchen together.”

 

“Oh..why?” Chaeyoung turned around, trapping Jennie in between her arms.

 

“Yeah, cause you always do this?” Jennie answered, her voice slowly getting softer with each word.

 

“Do what?” Chaeyoung asked, leaning down to gaze directly at Jennie.

 

“Rosie…” The name escaped Jennie’s lips in a whisper.

 

“Yeah?” Chaeyoung leaned closer, feeling Jennie’s heavy breath.

 

“I guess we’ll just buy them macarons.” Jennie whispered, before closing the gap between their lips. Chaeyoung smiled in between the kisses as they made their way to the bedroom.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

“I’ll just be gone for a week.” Jennie explained as she packed a suitcase. I got home a little earlier today, surprised to find Jennie home before me. I was happy for a bit, but then she explained that she had an emergency at one of the offices in New Zealand.

 

“It’s okay.” I assured her, I understood that Jennie’s role as CFO in her family’s company requires a lot from her. This wasn’t anything new.

 

“Chae.” Jennie called me, my name sounding foreign.

 

‘So I’m no longer Rosie.’ I bitterly thought to myself, realizing that it’s been a while since I was Rosie...since she called me Babe, Hubby, Rosie. I guess that should have clued me in.

 

“You know I’ll be fine alone. I understand really. Just..” I paused, “Just come back to me okay?” I asked her, my words hiding a double meaning.

 

“Of course. It’s only a week.” Jennie laughed lightly, “Aww is Chaengie going to miss me?” She teased.

 

“I always miss you.” I admitted, “Uhm....well do you want to eat before you go? We can drop by our usual on the way to Incheon.” I turned away, suddenly feeling shy.

 

“Yeah, that’ll be nice.” Jennie beamed, intertwining our hands together.

 

~

 

“Oh well look what the cat dragged in.” Dara smiled from behind the counter.

 

“Hello it’s been a while.” Jennie and I smiled at the small cafe owner.

 

“It has, I was starting to miss my favorite couple.” Dara teased, gesturing for us to take a seat, of course Jennie and I chose the back corner, near the big window.

 

“So the usual is it?” Dara yelled out from behind the counter, she would have come over, but it was just Jennie and I.

 

“Yes please.” Jennie and I voiced out together, laughing after doing so.

 

We always seemed to mesh well together like that.

 

We enjoyed our little time together. Talking about anything and everything. It’s like we never changed. It’s times like this where I temporarily forget that we aren’t the same as we were.

 

‘I wonder if doing things like this with me hurts you now.’

 

“Chae?” Jennie called out to me, placing her hand on top of mine.

 

“Sorry...You were saying something?” I asked.

 

“No...you just..you had this look on your face.”

 

“A look?” I frowned, tilting my head to the side in thought.

 

“Yeah..you just kind of zoned out a bit, and..” Jennie paused a bit, biting her lower lip..a habit she has when she’s nervous or anxious about something.

 

“And?” I pressed, curious to know what expression she saw on my face.

 

“I don’t know...it’s a look I’ve never seen you make before. Are you okay?” Jennie asked, placing her hands over mine, giving them a gentle squeeze..urging me to talk.

 

“I’m fine Jen. Just got caught up in my thoughts..Sorry.” I apologized, disregarding the split-second frown on her face.

 

“Right. Well it’s almost time for my flight.”

 

“Hmm let’s go then?” I asked, getting up.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Take care on your way you two!” Dara called out, we smiled at the woman before heading out of the cafe.

 

~ ~

 

“Okay all settled. Make sure you take care of yourself over there okay?” I patted Jennie’s head tenderly, “Call me when you land.” I took a step back, to stop myself from hugging her or kissing her goodbye. I figured there was no emergency in New Zealand...and I was right. Jennie’s mom texted me as I helped her check-in. She told me to enjoy our second honeymoon. It took a lot of me not to bitterly chuckle. I should have known right.

 

“Chaeyoung.” Jennie called me again, taking a step towards me, “Is everything really okay?” She asked, reaching up to tuck my hair around my ear, cupping my face in her palm.

 

“Of course, now go..you’ll miss your flight.” I took another step back, a smile still on my face, trying to just control my emotions; to just conceal don’t feel, like Elsa.

 

I expected her to go at that moment, but she didn’t. She just kept her eyes on me, trying to read my emotions, “Go.” I urged her softly.

 

She took a step, but rather than away from me, she went towards me. Pulling me into her embrace, being in her arms feels different now...it feels like I don’t belong here.

 

‘Is this your way of apologizing?’ I thought, before returning the hug...not wanting her to think that something really was wrong.

 

“Rosie...I’ll miss you.” She whispered in my ear, burying her head into the crook of my neck.

 

“Hmm.” I hummed, I couldn’t return the words because the lump in my throat was getting harder and harder to swallow as each second passed.

 

“Aww won’t Rosie miss me?” Jennie asked, pulling back forcing myself to swallow the huge lump in my throat, I smiled and said, “I’ll miss you Jen. Now go, you’ll be late if you stay with me.” I pulled away.

 

“Okay.” Jennie finally relented, turning around and walking towards security.

 

I stood there for a bit, waiting..wondering if she’ll turn around with a frown and pout while mouthing how much she’ll miss me and that she loves me..because that’s what she always did...but of course..this time..I just saw her back.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“So what’s up Chaengmunk?” Lisa asked while we settled on the couch.

 

“Lisa be honest with me.” I asked, my voice serious. I noticed the frown on her face and caught how her eyes widened in realization for a moment. I was right.

 

“You know.” A bitter chuckle escaped my lips.

 

“Know what?” Lisa feigned ignorance.

 

“Lisa...I know too. About it.” I admitted to someone for the first time since I found out.

 

“What? Chaeyoung..I’m confused here.”

“It’s okay...she’s your best friend. I know you’ll always be on her side. You don’t have to pretend anymore.”

 

“Chae..” Lisa sighed, “How?” She asked me.

 

~ Flashback - That Day ~

 

“You and Jen better not be late to the dinner tonight. Everyone’s going to be there. Irene said if you two are late again she’s going to..”

 

“Okay okay Chu.. don’t have to finish that threat.” Chaeyoung shuddered, not wanting to know what Irene even said.

 

“Just saying.”

 

“Right right.” Chaeyoung nodded her head although Jisoo couldn’t see.

 

“Now let’s see...I wonder what my Wifey is doing.” Chaeyoung smiled, making her way to Jennie’s office with a wide smile on her face.

 

“Oh where’s Sana..” Chaeyoung frowned, it was unusual for Jennie’s secretary to not be here.

 

“Chungha please.” Chaeyoung heard Jennie’s whimper?

 

“What the..” Chaeyoung was alarmed, she was about to barge in when she heard, “ BABE!” Jennie moaned out loud.

 

“Jennie..” Chaeyoung opened the door slightly, just enough to see what was going on inside, if she was hearing things...and Chaeyoung wanted nothing more than to be wrong at that moment, because there inside was Jennie with another woman in between her legs.

 

“Bet your wife can’t satisfy you like that.” Chaeyoung heard the girl say, as Jennie groaned, when the other girl immediately got up.

 

“Of course not babe.” Jennie held the girl’s arm, with a hunger in her eyes.

 

“Hmmph why don’t I believe you? I thought you loved me.” The girl pouted.

 

“Of course I do...It’s just..it’s complicated with Chaeyoung.” Jennie admitted.

 

“We can’t keep hiding princess.”

 

“I know...just give me more time.” Jennie begged.

 

“Alright...because I love you so much.”

“And I love you too.” Jennie beamed, kissing the girl.

 

Shutting the door quietly, Chaeyoung made her way out of the building with a shattered heart.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“It was an accident. I figured it was weird that Sana wasn’t there and I got more than what I bargained for that’s for sure.” Chaeyoung tried to laugh the pain away after recounting that day to Lisa.

 

“How long have you known?” Chaeyoung asked after a few moments of silence.

 

“Just a few days ago….I was helping out Chu’s older sister at an event at the Four Seasons and I saw her going into an elevator with someone that wasn’t you...with Chungha.”

 

“I see.”

 

“Chaeyoung I’m sorry..” Lisa apologized, “I was going to tell you this weekend...I told Jennie to do it before then if she didn’t want me to be the one to say it.” Lisa shut her eyes, memories of that evening and the day after coming back to her.

 

~ Flashback ~

 

“What’s up Lili?” Jennie asked as Lisa made her way inside the girl’s office.

 

“Sana please leave us alone on the floor.” Lisa turned to Jennie’s secretary who nodded her head.

 

“Lisa?” Jennie frowned, her best friend was acting very uncharacteristically.

 

“How long.” Lisa’s voice was low but venomous.

 

“What?” Jennie raised a brow.

 

“Don’t act dumb Jennie Kim. How long.” Lisa’s eyes were flaring in anger.

 

“Lisa I seriously don…” Jennie trailed off when Lisa put photos of her and Chungha heading into the elevator at the Four Seasons looking very very sweet.

 

“You...Lisa..it’s..” Jennie panicked.

 

“I asked you how long.” Lisa demanded, knuckles turning white with how tightly her hands are clenched.

 

“Almost 2 years..” Jennie admitted.

 

“ Jennie. You..” Lisa was trying to hold it in. Trying to understand her best friend. But Lisa, having come from a family that was broken because of cheating, wasn’t having it.

 

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t go and tell Chae about this right now?” Lisa asked, not recognizing the girl in front of her.

 

But Jennie stayed mum.

 

“You don’t deserve Chaeyoung Jen. If you aren’t going to tell her then I will.”

 

“Lisa wait, listen to me first.” Jennie got up, holding Lisa back, who violently shook the girl’s hand from her.

 

“Don’t you ing touch me.”

 

“Lisa..” Jennie teared up, she didn’t want things to end up like this. She didn’t mean to fall for Chungha, “Please Lili...I tried okay. I tried not to fall for her..I told her many times that I was married, but she was persistent and…”

 

“I don’t care. You know Jennie..YOU KNOW HOW BROKEN MOM AND I WERE WHEN WE FOUND OUT ABOUT DAD! Yet, here you are doing the same thing he did...to someone that always chased after you. That always chose you. Yes, she might have not realized it right away, but Chaeyoung was always only ever looking at you! We thought it was perfect, you two were perfect. Made for each other...Nini and Rosie...endgame. But I never would have expected this. I’m going to tell her this weekend. If you don’t want her to find out from me, then go home and tell her.”

 

“Lisa..” Jennie called out to her best friend who had her back turned to her.

 

“You were my best friend Jennie. But I can’t look at you the same anymore. Don’t talk to me. Ever.”

 

With that, Lisa left both Jennie’s office and the girl’s life.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“I see..”

 

“Chaeyoung...I’m sorry...I…”

 

“Hey..there’s nothing you should be apologizing for. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I hugged Lisa tightly, “Stop it now...I don’t want you going home and Chu coming after me with questions on why you have puffy eyes.” I tried to lighten the mood.

 

“How are you still smiling?” Lisa asked, after calming down.

“Because it’s easier to pretend to be okay than to admit how broken I am. Plus, she doesn’t know that I know...I’m a pretty good actress huh.”

 

“Chae..” Lisa sighed.

 

“Thank you Lisa...I just...I’m glad you had my back.”

 

“Can I ask..” Lisa began, I can tell she was unsure if she should ask this or not.

 

“Ask what?”

 

“Why you stayed…..why you haven’t confronted her?”

 

“Because I love her..that’s my answer to both of those.”

 

“You love her that much to overlook it all?”

 

“Yeah..I love her that much.”

 

“But?”

 

“Not but..and...And I love her that much that I finally realize that it’s time for me to let go.”

 

“Chae?”

 

“Give this to her for me okay?” I asked, handing Lisa a brown envelope.

 

“Are you going somewhere? Does Chu know?”

 

“Let’s not tell Chu...she might do something crazy..you know how protective she is.”

 

“Chaeyoung.” Lisa gripped the envelope tightly.

 

“You should go...I still have things to settle.” I stood up. I noticed Lisa eyed my left hand..I didn’t say anything neither did she. I was glad Lisa knew not to say anything, understanding me at this time. Knowing the only thing she can do is be there for me as my friend.

 

“Just stay safe okay?”

 

“Don’t worry Lisa...I’ll be fine.”

 

After I locked the door from behind, I slid on the ground...finally letting the tears out. Finally crying after a year of holding it in..I let loose..I allowed my emotions to take over.

 

“AHHHHHHH!” I yelled, wanting to destroy everything, wanting to just destroy myself, “Why wasn’t I enough?” I voiced out, exhausted on the ground with Kuma and Kai cuddling on my side trying to comfort me in their own way.

 

The next morning, I made up my mind. I have to do it...it has to be me.

 

~Jennie’s POV~

 

“This is Chaeyoung, sorry I couldn’t take your call, leave me a message and I’ll ring you as soon as I can!” I frowned, it wasn’t like Chaeyoung not to answer my call.

 

“Babe you okay?” Chungha asked.

 

“Oh yeah..just work stuff.” I lied..it’s been a few days since I left Seoul. But the last image of Chaeyoung at the airport won’t leave my mind. She kept taking a step back..trying to keep her distance..she also called me Jen...Why..There was something wrong...Could she..Does she..No no, of course not….If she did..she would have..

 

“Jennie.” Chungha’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts, “Is everything really okay?”

 

“I..there’s an emergency..I need to get back to Seoul.”

 

“Oh..that’s fine. We still got 3 days together. I’ll take it!” She smiled cheerfully.

 

~ ~

 

Once I landed at Incheon, I tried calling Chaeyoung but again nothing and now I’m really starting to worry. She hasn’t even texted me back when I told her I arrived.

 

Frowning I called Jisoo, cause I know Lisa won’t say anything, not after that day.

 

“Jen? What’s up?” Jisoo picked up. I gauged her voice, it was the same cheery voice I know.

 

“Nothing I was just looking for Chae...she hasn’t been answering.”

 

“Chae? Oof did my idiotic best friend do something for you not to call her Rosie?” Jisoo laughed.

 

“Huh? Oh..no.. I just..Rosie isn’t answering so..” I was flustered, because I realized that I haven’t called her Rosie in a while...did she notice?

 

“Ah I see..actually now that you mention it...I haven’t talked to her in a day as well...and I know she wasn’t at the studio cause Ryujin was also…” Jisoo began to ramble, and I think she made a conclusion when she suddenly yelled out, “LALISA GET YOUR HERE”

 

“It wasn’t me.” I heard Lisa’s voice over the line.

 

“Jen I’m putting you on speaker.” Jisoo said, before she continued, “Jen’s on the line. What did Chaeyoung tell you the other day, when she called you over?

 

“Nothing.” Lisa’s voice was monotone. She’s really mad at me.

 

“Lalisa…”

 

“She didn’t tell me anything I swear.”

 

“Lisa please.” I begged.

 

“You don’t get to beg Jennie.” Lisa scoffed.

 

“Woah did you two fight?” Jisoo intervened.

 

“Just..go to your office. I left something for you there.” Lisa said before the call disconnected.

 

~

 

“Ms. Kim I thought you were in New Zealand.” Min answered the security phone.

 

“I finished my business. Has there been anyone near my office lately?” I asked.

 

“Yes ma’am, Ms. Manoban came by a few days ago and dropped something in your office. She said to tell you about it when you come in on Monday.”

 

“Thank you Min...I’ll be there soon.”

 

When I entered my office, I felt a sudden sense of dread. Shaking the feeling off I moved towards my desk.

 

Taking a seat in my office chair, I smiled as Chaeyoung’s photo greeted me, but then I noticed the envelope.

 

“This must be what Lisa was talking about.” I whispered, opening the envelope.

 

I felt my heart sink, it was a thick stack of paper..with a letter at the top and the handwriting it’s one I recognize..anywhere.

 

Dear Jennie,

 

Do you remember that night I asked you to never ever ask me to carry you to bed..

 

I began to read the letter, remembering that night.

 

~flashback~

 

“Love.”

 

“Yes Rosie what is it?”

 

“In the future, whatever happens...don’t ever ask me to carry you to bed for 30 days.”

 

“What?”

 

“Just don’t okay?” Chaeyoung pouted, her eyes watery.

 

“Why are you being so dramatic? Did you read something again?” Jennie asked her wife.

 

“No…” Chaeyoung replied softly.

 

“You did.” Jennie saw right through her crybaby, “Come here you big baby. Life doesn’t always imitate art. Now what did you read about?”

 

“This guy cheated on his wife, and his wife asked him to carry him for 30 days before divorcing but she died and..” Chaeyoung began to cry when she remembered the short story.

 

“Hey listen to me. I will never ever choose anyone but you. I love you okay. Remember that.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Of course I remember.” I whispered, continuing on..now realizing how many promises I broke.

 

Do you? Do you remember telling me you will never ever choose anyone else. I bet you don’t...But it’s okay. That was a long time ago. Honestly, I don’t really know what I’m doing anymore...God, even right now at this moment...as I sit in our reading nook listening to that Frank Sinatra vinyl you love so much. As I sit here with my resolve made, I still find myself crumbling. Maybe it’s because I loved you so much. You read that right. Loved. Past tense, because Jennie...I...I’ve been hiding something from you..for a while now. And I know you’ll hate me and curse me after I tell you this, but it’s no longer fair for you. It’s no longer right...I guess what I’m really trying to say here is that...I’ve met someone else...and I love her...it was unintentional...but it happened...I’m sorry Jennie...I really really am….I don’t deserve you and I don’t deserve your love...so I decided to leave. Don’t look for me, hate me, loathe me, sign the papers and get our divorce finalized. It’s what I deserve.

 

Signed,

Chaeyoung.

 

My hands were shaking as I read the letter...Chaeyoung she...cheated...she chose someone else. I should be glad because it seemed like we both fell out of love with each other, but why am I so angry? Why am I so hurt? This is what I wanted right? I was going to bring up divorce anyways...so why..

 

“Rosie...why…” I cried, slamming my hands on my desk, flinching when I felt something hard underneath my left palm.

 

Opening up the brown envelope again, I reached in and pulled out Chaeyoung’s wedding ring.

 

Grabbing the ring, I immediately raced home, there’s no way she would have left. There’s no way this is true. Chaeyoung has always looked at me...always..she won’t leave me..she won’t..

 

I kept telling myself that she’ll be home with Kai, Kuma, and Joohwangie. That when I open our front door she’ll be there playing random melodies on the piano or the guitar. That she’ll be in our room napping or even in the kitchen having a snack..but when I got home..she wasn’t there. The penthouse was cold..and quiet. I noticed the dogs weren’t home and Joohwangie was gone as well. Her house slippers were also by the entryway.

 

Switching the light on, I noticed how everything that had her touch was gone. Her favorite Taylor guitar that she keeps in the living room, the little trinkets she bought on our trips, some of the vinyls in our little corner, even photos of her and her family are gone...it’s like she was never here. I made my way to our bedroom, with hope that this was all just a sick joke...but then I walked passed it..the wall across our reading nook...and any hope I had left in me disappeared, because the wall was no longer that dusty rose she picked out...it was now white, matching the rest of the room.

 

“Rosie..” I cried even though I know I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve to cry, but I am because she promised me she won’t love anyone else, she told me she’ll never leave, and now….

 

“I hate you Rosie.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

A/n: Okay so I’ve been playing with this draft for a while now...and I honestly don’t even know what I’m going to do with it. I already have the next few pages down, but I wanted to kind of separate this mess first lol. Also, to the person with the request...I’m working on it..that genre is difficult and I’m still trying to wrap my head around a good story…

 

As always let me know your thoughts and keep streaming LSG. BYE~