When you lose someone it changes you. Knowingly or unknowingly. And for the past 8 years since Jennie has lost Chaeyoung she’s never accepted it. She just acknowledged that she’s gone, never going to come back. But just because she acknowledged it, doesn’t mean she had to accept it. So she tried to hold onto whatever she could possibly hold onto that had some piece of the woman she thought would be her forever. Of the woman who was taken away from her so quickly and without warning.

 

-Flashback-

 

“So how are we doing today Jennie?” Juhyun asks, as the brunette settles on the usual lounge couch in her therapist’s office.

 

“Today was okay…I saw Rosie during our meeting..it’s the first time in a month...”

 

“Oh and how was that?”

 

“I felt angry.”

 

“Why?”

 

Jennie stays quiet, she hates herself for feeling angry at Roseanne when she knows it wasn’t her fault...that it was an accident; however, now that she’s finally starting to come to terms with Chaeyoung’s death. Now that she’s facing it head-on..now that she’s mourning and grieving, she couldn’t help but feel angry at the blonde for being a part of what took Chaeyoung away.

 

And Juhyun waits patiently, knowing that for her patient, everything that happened almost a decade ago feels as if it had just happened a few days ago.

 

“I’m angry at her for having her heart...and I know it was an accident..that it was Chaeyoung..” Jennie pauses, realizing she said her name, and she didn’t feel a tiny crack in her heart, “who put herself on the line like that...but I can’t help wishing that she didn’t do that..maybe then she’d still be here with me.”

 

Juhyun watches as Jennie seems to want to say more, so she waited for the brunette to compose herself.

 

“I feel all that, but a part of me misses her...so much..and that makes me pissed at myself..like how can I be mad at her but miss her so much I just want to hold her forever.” She speaks up after a few minutes of silence.

 

“Is it really her that you miss though?”

 

Jennie pauses, fiddling with her necklace.

 

“I know they’re two different people.”

 

“You know that, but yet you still see Chaeyoung whenever you look at her.”

 

Jennie stays mum...remembering the conversation she had with Suzy the day after everything blew up.

 

“You told her.”

 

“Good morning Jennie.” Suzy faked a smile.

 

“You were the one that texted Rosie last night.”

 

“I see that she isn’t around you...my my did you lose her too?” Suzy smirked.

 

Jennie clenched her hands into a tight fist to prevent herself from slapping that smirk right off of Suzy’s face.

 

“You wouldn’t even be in this mess if you had just told her you knew everything.”

 

“I didn’t want her to assume that I chose her because of it.”

 

“But you did.”

 

“No I didn’t.” Jennie denies, trying to keep the upper hand.

 

“Please Jennie. It’s so obvious. In the beginning you saw Chaeyoung in her and she made you feel like it’s okay to move on and that scared you. So you distanced yourself, it was only after you found out that she has Chaeyoung’s heart, did you look at her again. Did you get closer to her, did you see her for who she really is.”

 

“I know I’m right.” Suzy says, watching as Jennie was shaking in anger, “And whatever happened between the two of you, don’t take it out on me.”

 

“With or without Chaeyoung’s heart in her. I would choose Rosie over and over again.” Jennie says, her eyes determined.

 

“Even if Chaeyoung was alive?”

 

“What?”

 

“If you could only save one, who would you save?”

 

“Rosie or Chaeyoung.”

 

“That’s a stupid question.”

 

“You would always save Chaeyoung. But me...I would always save Rosie.” Suzy answers.

 

Jennie looks at the doctor with a stern gaze. She wasn’t sure if she was mad because the girl was right, that she would save Chaeyoung or mad at finding out that Suzy would save Rosie.

 

“You…”

 

“I loved Chaeyoung, yes...and when I found out about her death, it wasn’t hard for me to find out what happened. I’ve always known about Rosie….watching her from a distance and when you came to find me months ago...I knew that you were about to find out..I thought that’s fine, Jennie wouldn’t bat an eye towards Rosie. But you did and soon she started looking at you the same way Chaeyoung did. I watched over Rosie, as she struggled after the accident..and somewhere along the way I found myself wanting to be with her. I found myself loving her...forgetting about her heart about Chaeyoung. Rosie is mine Jennie and now that you showed her your true intentions, I am going to show her what it means to be loved as Rosie and not as some replacement.”

 

~ ~

 

“Jennie.” Juhyun pulls the shorter girl from her thoughts, “What were you thinking just now.”

 

“Is it bad for me to not be over Chaeyoung, but also scared that I might lose Rosie.”

 

“Dealing with something like this, especially after some time has passed isn’t easy. I think you’ve already acknowledged and accepted the fact that she’s never going to come back, but at the same time you haven’t taken any steps towards moving on from her, towards letting her go.”

 

“I don’t want to forget her.”

 

“Letting her go and forgetting her are different. Just because you’ve let go of what you feel for her, that doesn’t mean you would forget about her. Your memories of her will stay, but you need to let go of the longing emotions attached to those memories. Because no matter how many times you wish to relive them...you can’t.”

 

Jennie sits there, trying to take it all in..trying to figure out exactly how she can let go of the love she has for Chaeyoung.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

-Present Time-

 

“So when is Lisa going to come back? It’s been 2 months since they left.” Seulgi asks during a break in the shoot. Her and Nayeon are at the studio supervising a shoot and Jisoo just happens to be the model.

 

“She didn’t say.” Jisoo sighs, “But..”

 

“But you miss her.” Nayeon chimes in, plopping on the couch in Jisoo’s waiting room.

 

“Yes I do..” Jisoo looks at the two in the room with her, “But something about this doesn’t feel right..there’s something off.”

 

“What do you mean Chu?” Seulgi asks, leaning on the counter next to the shorter girl.

 

“When I called Lisa yesterday, she sounded off. Like she was only half engaged in our conversation.”

 

“And Rosie’s practically cut us all off so she probably won’t say anything.”

 

“Do you think it’s bad, whatever the emergency is?”

 

“I don’t know and when I told Lisa that I can come down and stay with her to just be by her side through this, she told me to just stay here and not to worry. Like???”

 

“Well maybe you shouldn’t ask...maybe we should just go.” Nayeon speaks up.

 

“We??”

 

“Yes we, the three of us here.”

 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to go.” Seulgi speaks up.

 

“Why not? We should be there for our friends.”

 

“Yeah, but Joohyun and I were talking..and after the whole thing with Jen...we think that maybe Rosie having this distance from us is going to do her good.”

 

“Seul it’s Rosie, she’s our friend.”

 

“Yeah..but right now Rosie is hurting because of something she couldn’t control. Because of a past that keeps haunting her. And all of us here...we’re all connected to that ghost.”

 

“So we just wait?”

 

“We wait, but you Chu..asides from everything I just said, you're also Lisa’s girlfriend..and if you need to go to her, then I won’t stop you.”

 

The three of them were silent until Jisoo’s phone began to ring.

 

“Jisoo we’re rea..”

 

“We’ll be out in a minute.” Seulgi smiles at the staff member, urging Jisoo to take Lisa’s call.

 

“Hey Ba..Lisa? Hey what’s wrong?” Jisoo stood up, already grabbing her casual clothes, “Listen to me okay? Stay calm, I’ll be there as quick as possible. What? What do you mean you don’t want me to come??? You’re not fine Lalisa. I’m flying down tonight. End of discussion.” Jisoo angrily hung up her phone.

 

“Nay went to cancel the shoot, for an emergency. What happened?”

 

“She was sobbing frantically, her sentences were incoherent.”

 

“And yet she didn’t want you to come?”

 

“They’re hiding something from us.”

 

“I know, I’ll keep you guys updated, but for now we don’t mention this to Jen...my gut is telling me this is related to Rosie somehow.”

 

“Okay, c’mon I’ll take you to home and to the airport”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Meanwhile, in Melbourne, Lisa was frantic calling the Parks to the hospital right away.

 

“Lili what happened to Rosie?” Alice was the first one to spot Lisa.

 

“We were just walking around the city and all of a sudden she passed out.”

 

“Where is she now??”

 

“Dr. Barlis is checking up on her right now...I..I’m sorry.” Lisa cried.

 

“Hey no sorry...Rosie will be fine okay?” Claire, Roseanne’s mom, hugged the younger girl tightly, “She’s a trooper. She won’t go anywhere.”

 

“That’s right Lilicat.” Mason, Roseanne’s dad, placed a hand on Lisa’s shoulder, “You’ve always been there and believed in Rosie...so let’s all believe in her now okay?”

 

What was an hour felt like an eternity for the Parks and Lisa, Dr. Barlis finally came out of the ICU.

 

“She’s safe.” He says, but they all caught the grim tone in his voice, “Has Roseanne mentioned anything about her current health conditions to any of you?” They all shook their heads no.

 

“Why, what’s wrong with my daughter?” Mason asks.

 

“Why don’t we talk in my office, while they transfer her to the general ward.” Dr. Barlis suggests and everyone follows, feeling the anxiousness rise up.

 

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. No one said a word after Dr. Barlis disclosed what’s happening with Roseanne.

 

“I’m very sorry...if you’d like you can go see her now. Although, I’m not sure when she’ll wake up.”

 

“But she will, right? She’s not..” Lisa trailed off.

 

“Her tests haven’t come back yet...like I said physiologically there shouldn’t be any problems. After discussing it with my other colleagues and her therapist, I’m pretty certain that this is psychological. This is a battle only she can fight on her own.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Lisa!” Jisoo ran to her girlfriend who ended up picking her up from the airport.

 

“Hi.” Lisa softly whispered, hugging Jisoo tightly.

 

“What happened? Are you okay?” Jisoo asks, cupping Lisa’s face, and turning it which way to check on her girl.

 

“I’m fine Chu..sorry I worried you..” Lisa sighs, “You even flew all the way down here when I know you’re busy with shoots.”

 

“Well if someone wasn’t so mysterious and then suddenly calling me crying...then I wouldn’t be worried to death.” Jisoo replied sarcastically.

 

“Ayy you can’t really be mad at me? When you flew all the way here for me?” Lisa pouts.

 

“If I didn’t love you I swear..” Jisoo grits, pinching Lisa’s nose.

 

“Ow ow ow babe.” Lisa whines.

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Where’s Rosie?” Jisoo asks looking around for the blonde.

 

“Uh...Rosie..she’s on a..date. Yeah date.” Lisa lies.

 

“A date?”

 

“Yeah..uhm she might not come home tonight.”

 

“Really?” Jisoo looks around.

 

“Mhm.” Lisa nods her head.

 

“Okay.” Jisoo nods and Lisa sighs in relief.

 

The following morning, Jisoo was in the kitchen when she suddenly heard commotion near the door.

 

“Rosie?” Jisoo calls out, thinking it’s the blonde.

 

“YAH LALISA MANOBAN YOU BETTER GET YOUR OUT HERE AND TELL US WHY ROS...oh hello.”

 

“Jisoo right?”

 

“Hello?” Jisoo looked at the four girls trying to pinpoint where she’s seen them

 

“We met once in Melbourne, we’re friends with Lisa and Rosie.”

 

“Ah right...uhm come in, do you want anything to drink?” Jisoo asks.

 

“It’s fine Jisoo, we know our way around this place.” Dahyun chuckles, walking around Jisoo, grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl. While the others head towards Lisa’s bedroom.

 

“Uhm where are they going?” Jisoo asks.

 

“Lisa didn’t tell you?” Dahyun asks.

 

“Tell me what?”

 

“That’s what we want to know.” Dahyun had a mischievous look on her face. Not even a minute later the two heard yelling, a few thuds, and Lisa dashing out and quickly hiding behind Jisoo.

 

“Babe Hyeri is going to kill me.”

 

“Don’t be dramatic. Just tell us what happened yesterday, you and Rosie never showed up. We were worried and couldn’t contact either of you.”

 

At the mention of that, Lisa’s face fell.

 

“Lisa.” Wendy took a step forward, “Where’s Rosie?”

 

“Guys...let’s sit down first.” Lisa forced a smile.

 

“Lisa...you’re making us nervous..”

 

Lisa sat with her friends, Jisoo sitting next to her.

 

“Before I tell you, Jisoo...please you can’t let anyone in Korea know about this.”

 

“Okay I promise I won’t say.”

 

“Alright..” Lisa takes a deep breath, “Rosie’s in the hospital. She passed out yesterday and she hasn’t woken up yet.”

 

“WHAT?!” The others stood up, already heading towards the door.

 

“There’s more.” Lisa speaks up, stopping everyone in their tracks.

 

“They…” Lisa swallows the lump in , looking up to stop herself from tearing up again, “They put Rosie on the transplant list...her body’s rejecting her heart.”

 

“What do you mean rejecting her heart? It’s been almost 10 years…”

 

“Dr. Barlis thinks it’s psychological.” Lisa eyes Jisoo, “but her therapy seemed to have help..but I don’t know something must have triggered her last night or something..there was no warning.”

 

“..okay..we’ll head over the hospital.” Joy says.

 

“Yeah..we’ll follow.” Lisa smiles at her friends who nod and rush out.

 

Once the two heard the door shut, Lisa finally gathered the courage to look at Jisoo in the eye.

 

“I’m sorry.” She says, hugging the shorter girl, “I found out too late...and now we don’t know if she’ll even wake up.”

 

“Hey...it’s okay..listen to me..Rosie is going to be okay. She will be..” Jisoo holds Lisa tighter.

 

This is one of those times, Jisoo hated her gut instinct for being right.

 

~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, in Seoul,

 

“Hey Lynn what’s up.”

 

“Hey Suzy..about that patient you wanted me to update you about.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“It’s not good.”

 

“What? What happened?”

 

“Dr. Barlis isn’t sure if she’s going to wake up.”

 

“Wake up? Lynn what happened to Rosie?” Suzy demanded, while booking a one-way ticket to Melbourne.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

A/n: So Suzsé anyone??

 

As always, please let me know what you think.

 

Until tomorrow

 

Hasta luego