“Jen you better hurry your up or else we’ll be late for our flight.”

 

“I’m literally 5 minutes away from the airport, and what do you mean late, you guys are literally 3 hours early.” I roll my eyes.

 

“Yeah but it’s been so long since we’ve gone on vacation plus this isn’t just any vacation!” I can practically hear Yeri jumping up and down like a child.

 

“We’re 40 and you still act like a teenager.” I .

 

“Excuse you! We’re only in our late-30s, don’t be rounding up like that.” Yeri huffs.

 

“Right...anyways, I’m here. I’ll meet you guys in a bit.” I smile, ending the call.

 

It’s been 5 years already...I look out the window, time has flown by faster than I thought.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Where’s Chu and Lisa?” Seulgi asks standing on the tips of her toes.

 

“She texted us and said she’s right out...oh there they are!” Nayeon waves a hand and we see Lisa and Jisoo heading towards us.

 

“It’s our soon-to-be newlywed!” Yeri and Seulgi pile on Lisa, while Jisoo shakes her head.

 

“Jendeuk..” Jisoo looks at me, “You look really good.” She hugs me tightly.

 

“Why are you acting as if you didn’t come to visit us monthly?” Joohyun chuckles, also hugging Jisoo.

 

“Anyways where’s Rosie? I can’t wait to give her a beating when I see her again. How dare her ghost us for 5 years.” Yeri huffs and we all roll our eyes at her.

 

“Rosie.” Jisoo and Lisa look at each other.

 

“She’s resting right now.”

 

“Resting? It’s like 4 in the afternoon dude.”

 

“She’s just tired...don’t worry...she knows you guys are coming.” Lisa smiles, and everyone goes along.

 

Everyone, but me.

 

“Chu.” I hold Jisoo back from the group.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Nothing...let’s talk about it later.” I smile.

 

“Is everything okay?”

 

“Yeah.” I nod, “C’mon it’s hot out here.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

We arrived at the house Lisa and Jisoo bought 4 years ago, after Jisoo decided to move to Australia to be with Lisa.

 

“For someone that isn’t on track to be a single cat lady, you sure have a lot of cats, Lis.” Yeri points out as the cats stare at us from the corner of the house.

 

“Wait where’s dalgomie?” I ask, looking for the white maltesen puppy, “He’s with Aly and Hank.”

 

“Ah I see.” I nod.

 

“By the way, when are the guys coming? And Byul and Yongsun?” Lisa asks.

 

“They'll arrive in a few days. All the flights were full and they procrastinated.” Yeri shook her head.

 

“Okay, well since you guys got here first we have enough rooms for the couples and single lady..” Jisoo turns to me, “to have your own rooms.”

 

“We are not a couple!” Yeri and Nayeon chorus together.

 

“I didn’t say you two, but if the shoe fits.” Jisoo laughs.

 

“What about the others?” Joohyun asks.

 

“We can change room arrangements later. But the guys get the living room.” Jisoo says.

 

And as we sat down at the table, almost all my friends surrounding I couldn’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia.

 

“It’s been a while.” I whisper, too bad it came out when a silence passed over us.

 

“What has?” Jisoo asks me.

 

“Just being like this with you guys.”

 

“Well you also kinda disappeared for 3 years there Jen...where’d you even go?” Joohyun asks me.

 

“Just wherever.” I shrug.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

That evening I found myself staring up at the ceiling unable to sleep. It’s been a while since I’ve had a sleepless night.

 

Getting up, I went down to the kitchen to warm up some milk.

 

“Can’t sleep?” I heard a voice behind me.

 

“Yeah, I think it’s jetlag.” I reply, smiling at Lisa who nods.

 

“Is Chu sleeping?”

 

“Yeah, she had a full schedule this past few weeks.”

 

Silence drapes over us, Lisa sitting on the barstool next to me, drinking some milk as well.

 

“Lisa.” I finally spoke up.

 

“Hmm?” She looks at me and I search her eyes for any anger or resentment, but there isn’t any.

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

“Depends.” She says with a serious face, but her wide grin quickly breaks out, “Just kidding Jen, what’s up?”

 

I take a moment, wondering if I should even be allowed to ask this question because in the last 5 years since Rosie and I decided to go our own separate ways, I did my best to keep her out of my thoughts. Because I needed to learn to see her as Rosie. Honestly, I don’t even know if I learned to do that, because I have yet to see her...but a big part of me is certain all of me will now only ever see her; to only see Rosie.

 

“Why did you and Rosie really leave Korea so abruptly?” I finally asked the question.

 

I watch as Lisa tenses at my question, her smiling falling just a bit, before she composes herself. I don’t make any comments on this though.

 

“Jen...before I answer that..I need you to answer me first.”

 

“Okay.” I nod.

 

“How are you now? With you know…” Lisa trails off.

 

“Do you want to know why I kind of disappeared for 3 years after Chu moved here?”

 

“Only if you’re comfortable telling me. You know Chu...she was really worried, but the letters help ease her mind.”

 

“It’s fine..I don’t want to tell them because this was a battle only I could fight.” I look down, trying to find a place to start, “Have you ever imagined what it would be like if Chu disappeared from your life? Like if she was just poof gone, literally hours after seeing her smile...hearing her laugh..talking to her?”

 

“Just hearing you ask me that already hurts.” Lisa admits, “So what more for you, who had to go through that.”

 

“It’s been 15 years since I, we, lost Chaeyoung...and for 10 of those I tried holding onto her, scared to lose whatever piece of her I had left. In my mind, I thought that if I let her go..I’d forget about her. And my therapist, she helped me realize what you all have been trying to tell me..that letting go, moving on, accepting the past...all of that won’t mean that I’ll forget her. I also realized that I’ve been holding onto her for so long that I didn’t know what it was like not too. When I lost her Lisa….it was like a part of me died...so I had to not only face my deepest fear, but I also had to build myself again. To find that piece of me that I had lost.”

 

“So did you?”

 

“It was hard...probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I think I did...I held onto her for a decade after she left and it took me half a decade to really let go, and find myself again.”

 

“Have you?”

 

“Yeah..I have.”

 

“That’s good. I’m glad.” Lisa smiles, excusing herself to bed, before I can circle back to what I had asked her earlier.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“What’s your plan today Jen? Sorry we can’t accompany you, we gotta do some last minute things with the caterer.” Jisoo apologizes to me, the couples have already ran off, leaving me behind with a quick ‘Bye Jen.’

 

“Just probably use one of your cars and drive around.”

 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay driving? We drive on the opposite side.” Lisa comes up from behind Jisoo.

 

“Yeah. I’m used to it.”

 

“Hmm?” Jisoo raises a brow at me.

 

“I’ll go start the car.” Lisa whispers to Jisoo, before leaving us alone.

 

“So were you here or??”

 

“No..I was in New Zealand...then London, spent most of my time in Paris..I was all over.”

 

“New Zealand?”

 

“Yeah..it’s where I said my goodbyes.” I smiled, and Jisoo knew what I meant because her eyes started to moisten.

 

“Oh did I make the indestructible Kim Jisoo teary eyed?” I teased.

 

“I’m Just..” Jisoo looks up, blinking her eyes rapidly to dry out the moisture, “I’m just really happy you finally found your peace.” She gave me a wide smile, a lone tear escaping.

 

“It’s been 15 years Chu...it was time to let her have her peace as well.” I wiped the tear from her eye.

 

“Let’s talk later okay?” She squeezes my hand and I nod.

 

~ ~ ~

 

I spent my time driving around, taking pictures, trying out places that seemed interesting. It was a day well spent.

 

Now, I’m at a park bench...watching as others live and create memories in front of me. I smiled, wondering how my life would be like if I didn’t take that first step.

“This was going to be the place.” Jennie says to herself as she places the small shovel she brought on the ground. She looks out at the beautiful horizon atop Coromandel Peak in New Zealand, “We were supposed to start our forever here Chae.” She whispers, sitting down, opening the wooden box she brought on her lap.

 

“Chae, do you remember that time when we were playing out in the heavy snowfall?” Jennie looks up, as the wind gently blows by hair, “Is that a yes.” she chuckles.

 

“You told me that even though our footprints have already disappeared, as long as we’re together, there’ll always be more prints walking side by side…” Jennie smiles at the memory that used to make her want to so desperately get 5 more minutes with Chaeyoung, “You were always so cheesy...but in this case you were wrong...your prints have already disappeared, while mine are still here...and even though we’re not together, I know that you’ve been walking by my side, through it all. So thank you for that.”

 

Jennie takes a deep breath, letting the wind comfort her.

 

“It’s been 11 years now..and I can’t really say I’ve totally let you go. But I think I’m getting there.” Jennie begins, smiling at the photos of her and Chaeyoung from when they were kids to their last one ever taken together, “You know Chae..I realized that losing you made me lose me as well. You’ve been my lighthouse, my pillar of support...and so when you passed away, it’s like I lost all direction and strength.”

 

“And although our friends were there to support me and to lend a helping hand...it wasn’t the same. I didn’t want to admit that I had lost you. I didn’t want to face it. I was scared of letting you go...and maybe I still am...You were the love of my life Park Chaeyoung. But now, you’re gone...and I have been doing nothing to give either of us peace. That’s why I’m here Hubby…” Jennie pauses, reaching behind her and unhooking the clasp of her necklace, and placing the necklace with her ring in the box. “Hubby...I’m sorry that I couldn’t let you go in peace before. I’m sorry that I held on for as long as I did...I’m sorry that I couldn’t say goodbye properly before. I’m sorry for it all..and I’m also sorry to myself..for letting my heart bleed for this long, for losing hope. But now..” Jennie closes the lid, locking it, and throwing the key over the edge of the cliff, “Now I’m going to take another step forward. A step towards finding the lost parts of me.”

 

Jennie stands, digging a small hole and placing the box inside, burying it.

 

“Thank you for everything. Never forget I loved you and I won’t forget how you loved me.”

 

Jennie turns and leaves, wiping the tears that fell.

 

She still had a long journey ahead of her, one only she can go on, but she’s taken that first step in the right direction.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Are you okay?” A voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

A/n: I hope you guys aren’t getting whiplash from all the back and forth I’m doing with the timeline here 🙈🙈🙈…

 

But yeah there’s a 5 year time skip, compared to the last part…

 

I’ll be making sure to mark if we’re in a flashback or the present time so I hope it doesn’t confuse you guys 💯💯

 

We saw Jennie’s side here, her journey towards letting go….and ngl this was quite difficult for me to write, because there was a lot I wanted to include to showcase Jennie’s state of mind. Like I rewrote this so many times. I had it starting at a session with Seohyun, then changed it to Chaeyoung’s grave, then to being in the office...yeah I was pondering where I should go for a long time..so I hope I was able to express Jennie’s journey well (Let me know if I didn’t🤙🏻🤙🏻)

 

Oh oh and who do you think saw Jennie? And what do you think happened to Rosie?

 

Ah also the whole suzsé thing...that’ll be revealed in the next part..I think it might shine some light on things.. 👀👀👀 (I hope)

 

Anyways, as always, let me know what you think.

 

Let’s meet again tomorrow (maybe)

 

Laters~