Kibum's POV:

What ever energy that was in my leg left me. I fell a step back. Thank God the bed was there or I would have been in deep trouble. I fell on the bed as I let go of a breath I did not know I was holding.

That's when I groaned in frustration. I almost pulled my hair. Taking a deep breath I tried to calm down. Rubbing my hands on the face I looked up to the door Jjong just walked out. I did not even say I love him back when he said it. I know he must have had a lot of questions but I really can't, not when I don't know the answers myself.

Shaking off my thoughts for a bit I stood up and walked into the bathroom and got rid of my clothes and into the shower. Not bothering to let the water be warm I let the cold water massage my head and body. I just stood there looking at nothing particular.

For a couple of days I have been getting a sinking feeling in my chest and I don't know what to do about it. When ever I think about him or us the feeling deepens. I have been trying to ignore the feeling as much as I can buy distracting myself with stuffs and him.

When I went to drop Taemin off I shared it with him just to see what he thinks but he could not answer. Because he haven't ever fell like that he was not sure how to answer. On the way back after dropping off Taemin I stopped at somewhere and called mom to ask about this weird feeling. Grandmother was always the first I called when I had any worries.

When I shared it with her she said it depended on when I feel it. I asked her to explain it for me. She told me that a person gets weird feeling maybe if something good or bad is going to happen. If the feeling makes you think about something good then there is nothing to worry. But if it's a sinking feeling and it makes you feel nervous and scared then it's something bad. And it's more scary when you know when you are getting the feeling. Even though she did ask me why I was asking about it I made up something and changed the subject.

The whole drive back home the feeling deepened and deepened. No matter what situation, I always get excited and fluttery feeling when I am about to see him but today when I walked in to the apartment for some weird and unknown reason I was nervous and I needed to be away from him. The feeling was suffocating me.

The minute I saw the state of my living room anger boiled inside me which scared me for a bit. I always hate when my living place is a mess but I never bursted like I did.

Even at that time when I looked at his face, just for few seconds I forgot about the frustration and sudden anger that came to me. Instead of saying another word, scared something incoherent may come out I stood silent and walked into the room when I saw him coming. I need to calm myself before I could say anything. And that's what he did. When he circled  his hands around me all the anger and frustration evaporated just only leaving the feeling. His touch, his voice always calms me but today I needed him to go.

When he turned me around and pulled my chin up to meet his eyes I could not do it. When he hugged me I was finally able to say it. I heard the shock and pain in his voice when he realized that I am pushing him away. Like always he didnot push me into telling him whsts wrong. That's one thing I love about him.

Finally I got out of the shower when the cold water started to made me shiver. Drying up I put on some warm clothes. After drinking a cup of warm water to calm my shivering body I got into bed snuggling to the blanket hoping to get some sleep even though I knew probably I won't be able to sleep a wink.

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And that's what happened. Rather than not sleeping a wink I dozed off for five minutes after the sun rose. I woke up to the sound of my phone going off. I wanted to turn to a side and take the phone. But I didnot have any strength. Stretching my hands a bit I was able to get the phone. It was manager hyung. I answered the phone with a good morning.

"Yes okay. 7:30 right? I will be ready. Okay bye" manager hyung cut the line. We have practice today.

I sat up on the bed and checked the time.  Argh. My head. It hurts. Sliding the blanket off I slid my leg off the bed and to the ground. The minute I did that I felt terribly cold. Why is it so cold? I remember switching the AC off last night. I opened my mouth to only feel very dry inside. I touched my forehead hoping that I do not have a fever. When I touched I was burning hot.

Slowly I stood up and walked into the bathroom grabbing the towel and robe. Before getting into the shower I brushed my teeth. When I looked myself in the sink mirror my jaws almost hit the floor. My eyes were red, then only I felt the wetness on my cheeks. My eyes are hurting. And my hair was all messed up and lips were so dry.

This time I didnot shower in cold water. I let the warm water help the constant shivering. After the shower I got into something warm from the outfits I have for practicing.

By the time manager hyung called me letting me know that they are here I had already had a cup of coffee and fever medicine. It did not mean I felt any better. All I wanted to do was just go back to bed. I didnot feel like having food and I kept feeling like I could fall any second.

Moving like a snail I finally made it to the ground parking lot where the car was waiting. Thankfully I was able to cover the dark circle and swalloness of my eyes with slight make up. When I got near to the van only then I realized I have to face Jonghyun. I really can't right now. So Instead I got into the front passenger seat next to the driver.

Getting in I put the seat belt and leaned to the seat, putting on my sunglass I closed my eyes.

Somebody was shaking me. I opened my eyes. Removing my glasses I looked at the person doing so. It was manager hyung. He gasped when he saw me.

"Oh I must have fallen asleep" I said in forced voice.

"Kibum, are you okay?" he asked touching my forehead.

"You have a fever." he said again.

"I am okay hyung. Let's just go. Oh hyung please don't tell anyone else I am having a fever okay. I have already taken the medicine so I will be okay." I said to hyung.

"But Kibum it looks like its a very high..." " Please hyung" I interrupted and said desperately.

"Okay fine. But you are going to doctor with me after this" he said making me promise.

Getting out of the van I saw that the other members were waiting. Giving them a smile and hellos I walked with manager hyung with the other members behind me. Through the whole ride in the elevator I didnot utter a word. It was already taking too much energy to keep standing.

After getting the practice room we kept our stuffs in the locker and started the practice. While doing the second round for replay I almost fell. But Jinki hyung thankfuly held me up. He was about to ask me if I am okay when I shook my head telling him not to. Instead the question came from Jonghyun.

I really wanted to answer. But I could not. Instead Jinki hyung answered for me. I guess he sensed I was struggling to say anything. "He stepped wrongly. That's all. Let's get back to practicing."  he said before tunring back to me again. He was still had hold on me. "Be sure to go to the hospital" he said quietly. He must have put two and two together. Nodding my head I got back to to my position.

Thankfully rest of the practice went without any falling. Even though it was hard I tried talking so the members would not ask questions and they didn't. Dropping off the others manager hyung took me to the doctor. After check up doctor gave me a medicine and injection to drop the fever. Per him I have a pretty high fever.

Manager hyung dropped me to my apartment again making me promise to take the medicine and that when he see's me tomorrow I should look fresh like a model from a megazine. If I was okay I would have laughed to that but instead I just smiled.

Getting in home I changed myself into Pajama's and tried eating something. Since I have no schedule for today I took my medicine and got into bed. All I wanted to do was sleep. But a huge part of me was wishing if Jonghyun was here. But I don't know.

Darkness took over me as I fell into a deep slumber with Jjong on my mind.

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Haii Haii. How is it so far?

Wanted to leave you guys in a cliffhanger for a while before revealing why Kibum asked Jonghyun to leave.

I hope this chapter answered the question. Probably next chapter everything will be better but as you know a storm does not come suddenly. The signs are shows first . But when it comes it doesn't come slowly. it comes fast and hard.

I hope you enjoy the chapter.
Lots of Love,
From me.  :)