I regret to inform you all that I will be putting "Vacation" on hiatus for now. Seeing as I'd purposefully chosen Italy for that one... But rest assured, I will still be dropping cute little chapters to distract you from our daily miseries now and again. 

For example this one! So forget all of your worries for the next few minutes and smile! I love you! <3 Stay safe, and that's an order!

++++++++++

Back when they first began their journey together as Infinite it was just seen as customary, or polite, to greet each other at the doorway. Awkwardly stuttering the words "Oh, you're back? Welcome home," as they all got used to living with one another in their small confined house. Both Woohyun and Sunggyu sharing a single bedroom, which birthed their life-long friendship. But back then, not even they could have predicted how important those two simple words, "Welcome home" would become over the years. 

At first, welcoming each other with a wide smile accompanied by the iconic hand wave, "Hey, did you eat yet?" followed by some small talk. Though, sometimes with an exhausted frown after a hard day's work. But always with a compassionate, "You've worked hard today," as they grew accustomed to each other's constant comforting presence and support. 

Unconsciously shifting towards staring at the inside of the front door a bit too long for comfort as the years ticked by. Or glancing at their watch a bit too often to go unnoticed by the other members. Needless to say, they'd unwittingly grown attached. Only to give the other male a mere casual nod of the head when he'd finally arrived as if they'd barely even recognized their absence. Trying to come off aloof, when in reality they'd eagerly awaited the chance to say those precious words, "Welcome home," before telling them all about their day. But were too self-conscious of the other male potentially making fun of them for it.

Gyu, preferring this stoic "manly" way of things. Over Woohyun's heart-pounding giddiness once everyone else had shifted their attention to something else. Until the day came that the younger male simply gave in and out-right screamed, "Hyung, welcome back! Did you eat!? Eat with me, eat with me! I made your favorite~!" like a love-sick puppy. Proudly proclaiming his excitement for everyone to hear, and tired of their whole cat and mouse game. As the others stifled their laughter at how cluelessly obvious they'd both been the entire time. Secretly glad that they'd finally broken up the charade.

Overtime, easing into domestic simplicity as they accepted the fact that they'd been so desperate to embrace each other every time. Unapologetically hugging at the doorway "How was your day?" Yet, not quite ready to express the true depths of their passion with an awkward kiss. No matter how much Woohyun began to coyly flirt with the older more conservative male. At first seemingly in jest. Though later more seriously as he cracked his way through Sunggyu's emotional firewall and won him over. Now loving each other unashamedly with the help of their little angel.

For it was adopting Infi that'd finally forced the collapse of Sunggyu's resilient fortitude. Forcing him to accept how much he'd yearned to keep Woohyun all to himself all of these years. Even if he had to lock him up and forbid him from ever leaving home again. Because just seeing the light shining in the younger man's eyes whenever he cared for the precious little one that he'd found abandoned at the cafe swallowed him whole as he daydreamed of their potential future together. Unashamedly asking for the boy's hand in marriage after secretively going out on a series of "not-dates." Which inevitably turned into playful "these-are-definitely-dates." With steamy hallway kisses and exhilarating "welcoming homes" inbetween the sheets. 

Alas, those years were far gone. Droned away by the present hustle and bustle of married life with a small child to care for. But, who'd expect anything else? They were seasoned businessmen by this point. Always coming and going and tired, yet unconditionally centering their entire world around their baby. Leaving just enough room for themselves and their beloved Inspirit.

Gyu, generally arriving home later than Woohyun - after still consistently staying behind to discuss any and all details about Infinite's busy schedules. Upcoming albums, concerts, solo projects, etc with their producers, stylists, and upper management. Leaving his husband to pick up Infi from Mrs. Jaekyung's daycare and keep her entertained until he came home. Wherein, they both comfortably settled into the routine of excitedly greeting Appa at the doorway with their own unique, "Welcoming" parties. A new showy spectacle every single evening: with chaotic streamers, dinosaur attacks, big sloppy kisses, the best zombie-hugs, adorable puppy antics, impromptu Cha Cha dancing, Mariachi singing, fashion shows, entire re-enactments of Shakspearean plays, and more.

But then again, creative ideas always come to an end. Daddy gets tired, and Infi needs to practice learning her shapes, colors, and animals. Wherein those cherished words of, "Welcome home," and, "I'm back," somehow found themselves replaced with:

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Poured cooking oil all over the kitchen floor to turn it into a skating rink."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Somehow manage to fill the toilet bowl with live squirrels."

"Are...are they still alive?"

"Yep, every last one of them. Scattered about the apartment. All wet and sticky, leaving paw prints everywhere. Betcha that scratching coming from above us is one of them trying to claw it's way out of our AC unit right now."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

" the mailman."

"...At...least that's a step up from biting the mailman."

"Hyung, he's more creeped out now."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Took her pants off, bent over and spread her cheeks while waiting in line at the pharmacy so that the nice lady standing behind us could properly inspect her bum."

"..."

"Apparently it was itchy."

"Well, she was half right.." Somewhat in the right location at least, that is? But that'd be a doctor's office...Not a pharmacy. And, not to the random lady standing behind her...

"Yeah...So we're back to wearing impossible-to-remove overall onesies in public."

"...I'm just glad we're past diapers."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Picked up a stray cat off the side of the road and reenacted the scene from The Lion King."

"...Did it have rabies?"

"No," Woohyun shrugged, "But she's got the battle wounds to brag for days~ now."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Rubbed a tomato all over the outside of the refrigerator."

"Umm...?"

"I don't know, Hyung, she said that it was for some sacred ceremony so that we'd never go hungry again."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Finger banged our stylist."

"..."

"You see? Infi, show Appa what you did today."

Infi mimics a gun with her little hand and shoots Gyu, "Bang!"

"Oooooh..." awkward misunderstanding instantly cleared up.

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Screamed every lyric of our entire "Reality" album at the top of her lungs while raging out like a maniac. And...you know, I'm all for this new Death Metal phase of hers."

"But why..?"

"Because she passed out thereafter and it's never been quieter."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Daycare Fight Club."

"Agh, so she's a woman of culture."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Daycare Hug Club."

"Don't fall for that."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Crawled into the washer and demanded that I turn it on."

"Did...? Were you tempted?"

"No."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Found an alien bone in our backyard."

"Really?"

"I think she planted it."

"..."

"The feds are looking into it."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Learned to dance The Electric Slide."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Held a knife over my head as I was waking up from a nap."

"...Well... Deep down I somehow always knew this day would--"

"Before handing it over and asking me to peel a banana for her."

"...Why would she need a knife for a banana? Woohyun, how did she get a knife and a banana!? And why the hell were you asleep!?"

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Finger banged our manager."

"Haha. Good job, baby girl."

"No."

"No?"

"Hyung, she shoved her fingers up his and screamed chidori."

"Pffttt, hahahaha. We're screwed." 

"Hyung~ buy him a new pair of expensive shoes."

"What, why me? Why do I have to do it?"

"Because. Infi has my wallet and I'm too afraid to go over there and get it."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Blessed all of the suffering masses of the world with her lucky pennies."

"Aww."

"And I mean it. She donated her whole piggy bank to charity this morning."

"Wow."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Started a whole pyramid scheme based entirely on how many people would buy stock in her magical Raspberry powers." 

"Raspberry--?"

"Rasputin."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Cast an evil spell on the entire 5th-grade futbol team."

"Oh? And why?"

"Because one of them accidentally sent the ball flying towards their lunch table and splashed oo's mashed potatoes all over everyone."

"Omo!?"

"Hyung...Mrs. Jaekyung got an email from one of their mom's complaining about a weird rash going around now too...."

"...I'm sure that has nothing to do with it.."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Oh, she officiated the loveliest wedding ceremony ever, Hyung. You should have been there. Ugh, it was much better than ours. There was plenty of cake, gifts, guests, and the bride was just brilliantly radiant. She glowed. The groom wasn't too shabby himself either. Though the only issue with the ceremony was that she just could not remember either of there names. The poor fools. So from now on, they'll have to change all of their identifying paperwork to match."

"..Ok..?"

"It's such a shame. Really. How would one even go about doing that anyway? The DMV? And to Mr. and Mrs. Flopperhoper-Pooperhooper? For God's sake, Sunggyu, they're already frogs! They don't need this kind of discrimination!"

"I'm going to bed."

"What, without eating some of this cake!? Begasp!!? You froggist!"

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"In conclusion, the pyramid scheme was really a cover-up scam for her new cult."

"Is it Woohyunism?"

"No, that's the cult that you belong in."

"Tch!"

"Yet surprisingly she's gathered quite a following."

*****

"So, what'd Infi do today?"

"Surprisingly she actually called the police on herself..."

"Wow, that's an improvement--."

"After setting the McDonald's bathroom on fire."

"No, it's not."

"Hey, Hyung?"

"Yeah?"

"Welcome home."

++++++++++

Note: I know that it's "thousand years of pain," but I doubt a 4-year-old will remember that. So "chidori" it is.