[mentions of non-con, no explicit details]

Cuddling after class was mandatory these days. Namjoon hadn't been going home as much lately and his dad couldn't really complain. He like Jimin enough, plus his son was an adult. The now blonde male practically lived at the Park's, it was mostly for Jimin's cake, but he also loved being around the younger and his family. They were definitely more homey than his own.

Jimin laid on top of Namjoon, head resting on the older's chest. The blonde rubbed soothing circles into the younger's back, feeling all the tension in Jimin's body dissipate. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you were?" Jimin hummed, looking up at Namjoon.

"If you have I don't remember. Do you want to tell me again?" Namjoon nodded, smiling. He would never get tired of telling the younger how beautiful he was. It could be his favorite past time for all he cared.

"You're so beautiful that it hurts sometime. I'm afraid someone can just steal you at any moment." Jimin snorted, knowing that wasn't possible. He was very much in love with Namjoon even if he wouldn't admit it out loud. No one could even compare to the big dork laying in his bed. "You're eyes are the prettiest I've seen and I could get lost in them. You have the cutest smile and I love listening to you're laugh. You're dancing is amazing and I just want to watch you all the time. God, Jimin I just don't understand how someone could be so beautiful." The brunette rolled his eyes, reaching up to kiss Namjoon on the nose.

"Why are you such a dork? Is there something you want from me?" The blonde shook his head, kissing the younger on the forehead.

"No, I just really wanted you to know how beautiful I think you are. Cause someone seems to forget it." Jimin sighed, sitting up to straddle the boy.

"I think someone seems to forget he's handsome too." Namjoon rolled his eyes. There was no way in hell he was handsome. He was a gangly tree with long limbs that he didn't have much control over. That wasn't handsome at all.

"Doubt it. I'm not handsome." Jimin sighed, leaning close to the older's face before kissing him lightly.

"You're the most handsome man I've ever seen. You have the softest eyes that glisten when you get excited. You have dimples deeper than the sea and sometimes I find myself drowning. The way you talk when you explain something you love is beautiful, I find myself get lost in your voice. Joonie I don't know how you can't see this stuff." Namjoon blinked up at the younger. He didn't know Jimin had saw all that stuff in him.

"I love you." He blurted out before he could stop himself. The brunette chuckled, watching the older's face turned a dark shade of red.

"I know babe. I know." Namjoon furrowed his brow in question.

"Babe? Since when are you using that?" Jimin pouted, laying back down. He shook his head, embarrassed that he had just called the older that.

"You call me baby." Was all he responded with. He didn't like that he got a pet name and he couldn't he use one back.

"I think Joonie is just fine. I don't need any other names. I call you baby because I like seeing you blush and get embarrassed. It's cute." The brunette frowned but Namjoon couldn't see it. "But if you don't like it I can stop." His head shot up and a pout came to his lips.

"No!" He all but shouted. He didn't want the blonde to stop calling him that. He honestly liked it. "I mean please don't. I'm fine with you calling me baby." He also didn't add that it makes them seem more couple like. Namjoon didn't need to know that.

"Alright baby." He answered, kissing Jimin softly. The brunette giggled into the kiss, but never pulled away. He loved the feeling of Namjoon's lips against his own. He pressed closer to the older, hands sliding up over the blonde's chest. Maybe he could get somewhere without having a panic attack.

He grinded down slightly, enticing a moan from Namjoon, but his actions were quick to end. The blonde pulled away from , breathing heavy. "Wait Minnie. Are you sure?" Jimin nodded slightly. He was sure this is what he wanted, but he wasn't sure if he could go through with it. Namjoon smiled, kissing the younger on the nose.

"Well then I'm not ready." The brunette blinked at him.

"What?" The older nodded, sitting up against the headboard to look at Jimin properly.

"Baby, I'm not ready until you are one hundred percent sure you are. I'm not going to pressure you for something like this. It's a big deal. And I want you to be comfortable. Haven't I already told you this?" The younger nodded slightly. It just didn't seem fair to him. Namjoon was a man, wasn't he? Didn't he have needs too?

"But-" The blonde shook his head, kissing him again.

"No Minnie. I will seriously wait until your comfortable. Why are you trying to rush?" Jimin pouted, sitting back slightly. He didn't think he was rushing, but he had been pulling Namjoon through the ringer.

"It's not fair. You shouldn't have to put off your desires just because I'm to riddled with anxiety and the past to do anything with you. Joonie, why do you even put up with me? You could do so much better." Namjoon shook his head. After all the sickingly sweet things they said to each other, the brunette was still having doubts.

"There isn't anyone else on my mind but you. You're the only person I want. And so I will put up with everything you have to dish out. I'm gonna be here through panic attacks, I'm gonna be here through the yelling, I'm gonna be here through the mood swings, I'm gonna be here through the sweets moments, I'm gonna be here through the cuddles, Minnie, I'm gonna be here until you get sick of me and even then I don't think I'll ever go away. You're stuck with me. And in turn I'm stuck with you."

"It's still not fair." Jimin could think of all the things that made this even harder on him. Namjoon had to deal with so much just from loving him and he hated it.

"And how so?" The brunette sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. He could feel tears welling inside his eyes, hot and angry, cause Namjoon just wasn't understanding.

"Cause I'm broken! Joonie, I'm completely and utterly messed up. My own mother tried to kill me, I grew not knowing who I was or where I came from, I can't express emotions well, I have relationships, and to top it all of I was !" He stopped for moment realizing what he had just said. Namjoon wasn't supposed to know that. He wanted to keep it a secret.

"You were what?" The older asked, grip tightening on the smaller boy. Jimin gulped, tears spilling over.

"Uh Suwon, he, he- Freshman year, he was a junior. I was invited to a party by Jackson, and I thought it was cool to be there with the upper class man. I mean it was, they treated me nicely as I was new and just getting started with my life. But Suwon wasn't. He had bullied me since we were kids, but I guess just making fun of me wasn't enough." Namjoon sighed, rubbing circles into Jimin's back. He had no idea that guy had done such a horrible thing to his Jimin.

"Uh you don't have to tell me if you don't want to but what happened? I mean was there-" Jimin shook his head slightly.

"It wasn't just him. I mean it was, but he used a toy as well. It was all at that party and after everything happened I had to pretend it didn't. Jackson stuck by my side that night, watching my drink and even fending off girls and guys, but things had already been done and I was just broken. Suwon said that nobody would want me now that I had been used and I almost believed him."

"Did you call the police?" Jimin shook his head.

"He skipped town after that. Thought he was gone. I never told anyone about it except Tae." Namjoon nodded. That's why Taehyung seemed so on edge at lunch the other day. He had mostly thought it was because they were best friends (and platonic soulmates) and Taehyung would do anything to defend Jimin.

"That bastard. I should-" The younger stopped Namjoon's threat with a kiss. He didn't want the older to make any threats. He was fine and he couldn't have his only other person of support getting injured or worse, arrested for doing bodily harm to somone else.

"Stop. I'm fine now. I just, need to adjust is all." Namjoon frowned, shaking his head.

"Minnie, he touched you without consent. Why are you just brushing it off?" The blonde was furious now. And he wanted nothing more than to bash Suwon's head against a wall.

"Because I don't need to worry about him anymore. I have Taehyung, who for all he's worth, wouldn't let anything bad happen to me, Lu Han isn't exactly a fighter, but he could still hold his own. And now you. The most amazing boyfriend who would most definitely keep me safe no matter if it was a minor paper cut or a horrible car accidnet." Namjoon was still angry, but he softened when Jimin had called him, his boyfriend.

"Boyfriend huh?" The younger scrunched up his face, turning away before the blonde could see his skin change color.

"Shut up, I didn't say that." The older chuckled, turning Jimin's face back toward him. He missed the boy softly.

"It's okay baby. You don't have to be embarrassed. I am an amazing boyfriend." The brunette pouted, trying to roll away from Namjoon.

"Nope, you're banned from cuddle time. Get out." The blonde laughed, holding Jimin in place as they rolled to the side. He pressed his another quick kiss to the younger's nose. He honestly could get used to this.