"Min do you ever think we're in over our heads? That maybe this was just a jump too high, a split that we couldn't make, a turn you couldn't spin?"  Minha smiled sadly, rolling her legs out over the side of the ramp. He had looked over her, waiting. He had no idea what she was talking about and he honestly didn't want to know. "Or am I just crazy for believing in something so fake?"

"What are you talking about?" Jimin was having a hard time grasping the thoughts she was spewing out to him. She laughed humorlessly, shaking her head. Minah looked at him for the first time that night, tears lining her eyes, threatening to spill over.

"This. Us." She gestured to the space between them. That empty air that hadn't been filled because Jimin was too scared to get close to her because she hadn't even wanted to hold his hand on their walk over. He stared at her, hands itching to wipe the tears away. "Min, This isn't real. I never meant to get this close or attached. I didn't mean to break the rules or code or anything. I was just listening to those girls, my friends," She choked on the word, laughing. Were they even her friends? not even close. "and to think I wouldn't fall in love with someone like you. Someone so perfectly imperfect. Someone with the biggest heart on this planet. And to think, I went and tainted it. I ruined such a fragile porcelain soul. Why don't you hate me yet? I hate me." Jimin shook his head, trying to search for the joke, the prank, that he already knew wasn't there.

"Minha, what are you trying to say? I don't understand." The younger groaned, throwing her hands in the air.

"I dated you because of a bet. A stupid ridiculous bet that I thought wouldn't turn out like this. I thought you would be a horrible person and breaking up with after a month would be fine. But you were so sweet and it hurt just thinking of the moment I would ruin everything. And things changed. I started to actually like you. How crazy. When in the beginning there were no feelings, not even that of acquaintances. To be honest I kinda hated you. Such a poor pathetic thing you were. Looking back I shouldn't have gone through with it, but we're here now and I've loved every moment. And I just have to let go." Jimin listened, numbly. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, but he wasn't at all surprised. No one had ever genuinely liked him except Taehyung and Yuri. And sometimes Yuri was a stretch. Minha finally sighed after her speech, sliding down the skate ramp and dusting off her jeans. "This is farewell Min. Don't worry about anything. I'm sure someone will come around to actually love you without holding the fear back. I'm just sad that it wasn't me." And with that Minha wallked off, leaving Jimin in the cold dark air.

Months later he found Minah had jumped from her parents studio apartment window. It didn't kill her, but she had to move to a mental ward in a different city.

And months after that she had contacted him with sweet words; 'I'm sorry I loved you too little and maybe just a bit too much. I'm okay now and moving on. I have a calico cat that reminds me of you so that's all I need. I'm sorry I gave you that scare, I thought maybe I could escape through those horrible means and you would forget everything I had done, but it wasn't that simple and everyone thinks I'm crazy. It's better this way, so please smile and get better for yourself. I'll be here if you still need me to be, a friend, or someone you need to take your anger out on. And my cat Sangdo will be here too. I'm sure you'd like him. <3

Jimin cried that night harder than he had ever done before, cause he had no idea that Minha was going through so much, that she thought this way about him and even herself in a sense. He cried cause he had almost killed a girl just because he had made someone so unwilling to fall in love with him. He cried because Minha had a cat even when he knew that she was allergic and there was no way he could tell her to remember. And he cried cause there was no way he was ever going to forget this moment in his life where someone he had trusted so willingly just let him go because she didn't want to hurt him any longer.

-

Jimin jolted up from the couch, breath catching in his throat. It had been years since he had that dream. He had tried to repress those memories from his mind for so long that he thought maybe they were gone. Why had they even surfaced in the first place? He was over Minha, at least that's what he told himself. She had every right to break up with him. It was supposed to be a bet, something that was only to last a month, but she had fallen in love and she didn't think she could continue to do it. He was completely fine with that. Of course he hated the bet part of it, but he had forgiven her for it, he would always forgive her. Minha was his first real relationship, it lasted so long and he had given her so much of his heart that he didn't think he would ever recover from it, but here he was. He still wasn't sure about giving all his feelings to someone new, but he manged to get through a lot of it with the help of Taehyung and the guys in the dance club and even Namjoon too.

Namjoon.

Jimin really had no idea what to even do with him. He was still confused about everything they had been through. Two months had passed and the only thing he had manged to accomplish was a 'C' in English and a short and confusing kiss. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He needed to clear his head. And the only way he knew to do that was through dance. 

-

The gym was still open, surprisingly. He quickly found the stereo and plugged his phone to the aux jack. He also do not disturb just in case someone tried to get in contact with him, meaning Taehyung. Now was not the time to get into heated debuts with the younger about his unrealistic feelings for a certain blue haired dimpled cutie.

He sighed, feeling the music begin. It was his track for the competition and the only one in the playlist he was playing. It was set to repeat so he wouldn't have to worry about restarting it. He quickly began the dance, moving without much thought. He spun, flipped, and stepped into a rhythm that would impress no one and everyone at the same time. The moves were almost too average for him, but he pressed with tact and knife-like jabs. This is what he wanted, what he needed. He danced to forget, he danced to remember, he danced to piss of the world, but most importantly he danced for him. He did what he loved cause no one else would, No one had ever shown him a care in this hard cold world. His own mother, as Jiseong had said, abandoned him by throwing his off a building, Suyoung, his true mother, never asked him what he wanted, never took his feelings into consideration until recently, Jiseong had tried but only to a certain extent, Taehyung was his best friend, but that didn't count, he would love and care for him no matter what he did, Minha loved him sure, but at what cost, she could've lost her life because of him, Yuri was another just like Taehyung, she cared as much as a friend should, not in the way he wanted, but he would never ask her to do anything more, and then there was Namjoon.

Sweet innocent Namjoon.

The older smiled so brightly, yet he was hiding, just as much as Jimin was. He didn't even know if the blue haired male could give him the care that he needed, he didn't know if he could open up to Namjoon even if the older could. He was still too scared, still unwilling to trust. Taehyung had been right, he wasn't at all ready to let go of Minha, even if he had said so many time that he was. That Minha was the past, that he was happy for her, but it wasn't. He never had been. He still read their old messages, looked through their pictures, even listened to the voice mails, just to hear her voice. He never even contacted her after that night he cried. He couldn't, wouldn't actually, cause he had a feeling that all his thoughts and emotions would be spilled out to her and that made him feel guilty. She didn't deserve that, never had. And Jimin just couldn't control himself, he knew that. He would ask for so much and would give thrice as much, but would that be enough. He didn't now, probably would never know, and Minha didn't deserve any of that. She was moving on, she had said it herself and Jimin had to respect that. He had too.

But could he?

As the music started again for the fifth time, he completely lost himself. All his thoughts and emotions were gone, the air in his lungs all but stopped and he clutched his chest trying to fill them. He collpased to the ground and the last thing he could think of before everything went black was how was he going to apologize to Minha do he could finally let go.