_Miss_Right_
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Title: Thornless Rose in BloomAuthor: _Miss_Right_
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First Thoughts:
- Title: Looking at the title, at first, I'm not sure what feel to get, but it's interesting.
- Description: At first in your desc. I've noticed that your first word is spelled incorrectly, although I'm not sure if that is on purpose or not. (L'Incomparable is correct) I think your desc. is quite enticing overall, although the first time you used italics in 'it', I'm not sure that's the correct word to select for impact. In addition, make sure not to use too much italics because it takes away the impact. I'd suggest one word italicized per sentence at most. Very nice, overall.
- Poster: Looking at the poster, I like it in general-- the two fonts (above and middle) don't match with each other in my opinion, however. From the poster, I think I might even be getting a light, maybe even comedy vibe. The poster is not bad though, and it's really open to interpretation, so I think it's nice. Don't change it. On second thought, I like it better. Although I'm still not a fan of the many fonts.
Plot: It was nice, I think you had the arc of the story pretty well down. I enjoyed it quite well, and I think the ending is good, although seeing as how I'm confused about the title, I think you should incorporate the title into the end of the story to clear up confusions.
Characters: This is a part where I'm a bit confused. So if Jungkook's relationship with Inhye is so intimate (maybe not romantic, but they are close) I feel like she would trust him more. In your third paragraph, there is evidence to oppose that.
In addition, I think that it's pretty unrealistic that Taehyung would open up so nicely to another thief when he's being so rude to a child. Especially when the thief is obviously there to get the same neckalace as him. Even though he has the Ocean neckalace, I'm sure he would also want the L'--- neckalace. However, seeing as this is a one shot, I won't say too too much on char. developement unless you want me to later. (You might get a little too much though!) ^^
Third point, from what my understanding is, Mina doesn't like her father because she believes that her father is not nice, however, she can hear her father say that she doesn't like people touching her closet, which is quite strong evidence to support the opposite. I think this is a fairly strong point that you should fix. It's a hole in the story line that doesn't quite make sense.
Flow and Pace: Pretty good. Not much to say ^^
Overall Enjoyment: I enjoyed this overall. I think the ending is fairly satisfying. After looking back, I still don't quite understand the title and what it's signifiying. Is the rose love, or is it Taehyung? I don't get it. Also, although it bothered me about how unrealistic the stealing was, I also get that you couldn't have made it otherwise easily because it's a oneshot.
Tips: -You seem to have switched tenses several times in your story. Try to stay in either past or present. If you need help pointing them out, I'm willing to help out later ^^ - there are several specific details including style and narration that I have issues with, being the nitpicky reader I am, but I don't wish to put them all here. This is all pretty long as it is! (Not sure if it's too long T^T) If you want to hear more of these, just feel free to privately message me; I'm completely willing.
Thank you for requesting. I apologize terribly if there is any words that you take on account for harshness. I sincerely say that I do not want to be harsh! If you want any more help, feel free to message me privately! Don't forget to use our banner to credit, and thanks!
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I sincerely apologized for being gone for too long. I promise I will try and be more active :)
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