“‘You have no idea.’”
     -Make sure to correctly punctuate sentences.

“Quickly inspecting myself, I saw that I am still fully clothed.”
“Finally regaining some semblance of control, I pulled away from him, suddenly becoming self-conscious and embarrassed.”
     -You mixed up present and past tense quite a bit throughout the story (also self-conscious has a dash in the middle).

“‘It’s okay. I’ll take care of it,’  He said.
‘It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done for me,’ I protested.”
     -If the sentence continues like it does in in both of these instances, a comma should follow the quote, not a period.

“‘Oookay,’ I said slowly. So how does this concern me?”
     -During parts where the text is italicized, direct thoughts from the character shouldn’t be.

Style: I thought your writing style was easy to understand and would appeal to a lot of readers. You didn't use too many big words, and I didn't really see any sentences that I thought were worded weirdly. Overall, your writing style wasn't too complex, but it wasn't extremely simple either. It fit the story very well. I also appreciated the way you told the story from multiple POVs. I got to see two sides of the story, instead of just a one sided story, which was nice. However, I did think you tried to incorporate too much of the Korean language into your writing.

‘“I’m okay, Omma. Mianhe for making you worry.’”
     -I think you shouldn't have used words like mianhe in your writing. Of course, everyone knows honorifics like hyung, noona, unni, oppa, and omma, but words like mianhe are less common. It made it feel like you were trying too hard to make the story fit with Korean culture. 

Characters: I have to give you props for your characters. Ara’s character was explained and executed perfectly. She was a round and dynamic character with multiple distinguishable personality traits, and she was overall just a very interesting character. Hyungsik however, needed some work. He was round and dynamic, but not to the extent of Ara. However, as far as most fics go, both main characters were executed very nicely.

Flow and Pace: I felt like you jumped into the story too fast. It needed to be drawn out more, because the characters had already gone on a trip together by the end of the first chapter.And by the end of the second chapter, they were both already in love with each other. It felt very rushed, and wasn't paced well at all. I would've preferred it if you would have taken more time to describe things like their past relationships that ended, or maybe made a few chapters about their Hwacheon getaway. it also skips a whole three months of Ara and Hyungsik’s relationship in the second chapter. The whole fic felt very rushed, and the plot was too long for how many chapters there were.